“No! Dammit, Samantha, no. My empathy and generosity only extend so far. Look, our hands are tied anyway if we’re to maintain this façade of a false engagement.”
“We don’t have to now Janice and Frank have signed those papers.”
He licked his lips. “We should maintain it for a while longer. It looks weird for us to break things off now they’ve acceded to our requests.”
She tilted her head to the side to stare at him a second—he was lying. Or at least, stretching the truth. “What’s going on, Josh?” she asked, feeling like she’d wandered into a parallel universe.
“I don’t know.”
His words had her scoffing. “BS. You’re the kind of guy who knows exactly what’s going on. At all times.”
“Yeah, usually. But you’ve thrown me for a loop,” he admitted gruffly. “I never saw any of this coming, and if I’m being honest, I’m not happy about it.”
“No, I can see why you wouldn’t be,” she said wryly.
“It’s damn inconvenient,” he admitted, and he was so annoyed, just like Erin would be if he broke a toy, that she had to laugh. “I’m glad you find it funny,” he said on a huff.
She pressed a hand to her lips. “I’m sorry,” she said, the words muffled behind her fingers. “But I just… I never expected this.”
“Me neither.”
For a second, she studied him then murmured, “It was good for me too.”
He ducked his head, and as he’d done after they’d had sex, avoided eye contact with her. “I’m glad.”
She licked her lips which suddenly felt dry. “What’s really going on here, Josh? I feel like you’re not telling me everything.”
“I’m probably not because I don’t know everything myself.”
“What does that even mean?”
He frowned. “I’m not used to feeling this way. Uncertain. On edge with women. I do with you. It’s unusual, and as I already said, irritating.”
“You have to understand why I’m not ready for more.”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean to say we should explore this.”
“This?”
“What we have between us. I didn’t realize there was something… but now I wonder—”
When he broke it off there, she bit her lip after she asked, “What do you wonder?”
“If half the reason I was so against you was because I wanted you myself.”
Her eyes widened at that admission. “What?”
His shoulders rippled with agitation. “Trust me, this is all coming as big as a shock to me as it is to you.”
“Thanks, I think,” she grumbled wryly, making him wince.
“Sorry. I’m not good at this.”
“No, you’ve never had to be, have you? They all just come running to you.”
“That’s not…” He sighed. “That’s very fair.”
Her lips twitched at the sheepish admission. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect anything less. You’re cute and you’re rich. What more does a certain kind of woman want?”
“A certain kind that isn’t you.”
“No. Not me. I never wanted Jamie because he was rich,” she said softly. “If anything, I had stars in my eyes. He looked like something from a movie that night. I didn’t realize he was going to be a nightmare.” Though her words turned somber, her tone didn’t.
Jamie was, she realized, moving further and further away. The distance of time and this new development with Josh making him seem far away in a past she had no desire to ponder anymore.
“But,” she said quickly, when she saw the tautness of his mouth and knew he was thinking of what her husband had put her through, “I’m not interested in your money. I’m interested in you and your… well, what we did together.”
Josh laughed. “Were you going to say my cock?”
“Maybe,” she admitted drily. “But I restrained myself.”
“You barely managed it,” he teased.
“Barely but I did,” she retorted, cocking her brow and daring him to argue.
He laughed again and reached up to cup her chin. “I want to see what we can bring each other, Samantha. Is that a crime?”
As she stared into his eyes, falling deeply into those bright gem-like pools, she had no choice but to whisper, “No, that’s not a crime.”
“But?”
“No but. Just… I don’t know what I’m ready for. Emotionally. You might… Well, I might fall deeper than you, and therein lies hurt when I’m not really interested in being hurt for the foreseeable.”
“So you’re not willing to see what potential we have together? Just in case you get hurt?”
“Pretty much,” she retorted wryly. Then, he moved his thumb on her cheek and her every nerve ending sparked to life once more. “Don’t,” she bit off, her eyes fluttering closed as her core turned molten in response to that, the most innocent of touches.
How did he have this power over her? And where the hell had it come from?
Where had any of this attraction come from?
For years, he’d hated her and he’d always made her feel uncomfortable around him. He said he’d mistaken his attraction for her for dislike…. Had she responded equally?
She blew out a breath as she carefully moved her cheek from his hold. Though his eyes flared wide in response—she knew he thought she was rejecting him—she nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay? Okay, what?”
“Okay, I’ll go to that party with you tonight.”
His nostrils flared. “Good. I’m glad.”
And that was that.
Chapter 15
Josh
It shouldn’t have irked him that she had a gown ready to wear, and that that gown had been purchased with Jamie’s money…
It shouldn’t have, but it did.
Still, she looked gorgeous. Absolutely stunning in the bright violet sheath that set off her hair and creamy skin. Combined with a leather lariat Samantha wore around her throat, that was tipped with a huge bulb of lapis lazuli on one end and a large turquoise on the other, she looked bright and fresh. Rich, without being ostentatious—and a lot of the female guests looked exactly that. Overdressed with all their gems and the stench of their perfume wafting around with them.
“Are you okay?” he asked, dipping down to whisper the words into her ear. Her scent was light and fresh, just like her—a breath of fresh air.
She blinked at him. “Of course.” Her ease in these situations surprised him.
It was almost like she’d been born for this role. There was no nervousness about her, no anxiety. She wore the tight-fitting dress like it was her second skin, and stood, shoulders straight and back long and tall, with a proud air that enticed him.
Her confidence came as a surprise now, considering her past. And again, thoughts of Jamie had him clenching his free hand in a fist. The other was holding hers, a surprising gesture on his part, one he’d made when they’d been stepping into the Anderson’s front door.
He wasn’t a tactile man, had never been tender or appreciated affection, but there was something about her…
And that something pissed him off if he were being honest.
He didn’t understand it, and wanted to…
“Are you okay?” she asked, staring up at him, a question in his eyes.
“I’m fine,” he told her tightly, quickly grabbing a flute from the tray of a server and downing it quickly.
“Sure. You don’t really look it.”
What could he say to that?
Sighing, he shrugged. “I’m just antsy.”
“Why?”
“I don’t particularly want to be here.” That was the truth. Well, half of it.
“Why are you here then?”
“Because of business. You know as well as I do that a lot of deals go down in the private homes of the rich and famous as much as they do in corporate boardrooms.”
She blinked at him. “Sure, I knew that with Jamie, but you wield more power tha
n he did. Surely you can dictate to them?”
He laughed a little. “You’d have me be a true dictator, huh?”
Grinning at him, she stated, “I don’t see why not. There has to be some perks, after all.”
“True.” Josh’s lips curved in a smile. “But, I actually don’t mind the Andersons.”
“Okay, so what’s really going on then?”
When the woman at the opposite end of the room caught his eye, a catty smile on her lips, he had to grimace. “See that woman over there?”
Samantha blinked. “The one in the leopard print dress?”
Yeah. Jasmine had never had that much elegance about her—and unlike Samantha, had been born into this lifestyle.
Sometimes, he realized, class simply couldn’t be bought.
“What about her?” she prodded when he fell silent as he stared down into his flute.
“I broke up with her today.”
Beside him, Samantha tensed, and considering his delivery who could damn well blame her?
“Fuck, that was tactless of me,” he admitted.
“Yes,” she said coolly. “It was.” Then her lips curved. “I’m really seeing another side of you today.”
He scowled. “Hardly the best side, either.” Josh sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry that came out that way.”
“Don’t be. What’s going on with her, anyway?” She cut him a look. “Did you split up with her because of me?”
He winced. “Partly.”
“Why does that feel like there’s a bigger story going on?”
“Maybe because there is. We were seeing one another for a few months, then I forgot about her.”
She blinked at him. “You forgot about her?”
“Yes. Well, she wasn’t exactly a girlfriend, more like a—”
“Oh my goodness. She was your mistress?” For a second, he watched astonishment wave over her features, then she burst out laughing. “What on Earth? Men really have those? I thought it was a joke or something.”
“Well, yes. We have them. They usually know the score.”
“The implication being Jasmine didn’t?” She scowled. “Wait a minute, you don’t expect me to be a mistress, do you?”
He snorted. “No.”
“Why not?” she eyed him suspiciously.
“Because if Jasmine had made me feel the way you did, I wouldn’t have done anything with you that day.” He cocked a brow. “I’m usually monogamous.”
“That surprises me.”
“More than the fact I had a mistress?”
“Only recently past tense, however,” she teased, surprising him. He’d expected her to make his life a little miserable. She wasn’t though. Just seemed to find this situation amusing.
She tapped her chin with her finger. “So, what? She’s jealous of me then?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect to see her here tonight.”
“Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation, I suppose?”
He grimaced. “Astute.”
“Hardly. You’re a man after all. You are very predictable sometimes.”
“Thanks. You’re full of compliments today, aren’t you?”
“I don’t have to be charming. That’s something the man has to handle. I just have to smile prettily at you, make sure I don’t get something stuck in my teeth, and look good on your arm.” Her lips twitched. “That’s what a mistress does, isn’t it?”
“Mostly,” he said tightly, then blowing out a breath, murmured, “I don’t… this isn’t about your becoming my mistress though.”
“Oh, I know,” she told him, her voice in utter contrast to his—so chirpy and cheerful he wanted to scowl. “I’d walk out of here right now if I thought you were even hinting that things would take that direction.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “How did I not know you were this playful?”
She gaped at him. “Huh?”
“You’re a joker. You like teasing. I didn’t realize that.”
“Because I’m not like that.”
“I think you’ll find you are,” he said drily, finishing off his flute of champagne with a flourish and quickly grabbing another from a passing waiter. “Trust me, I’m feeling mocked.”
She sniggered. “Well, you must bring it out in me.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing,” he admitted wryly, staring down at his flute. A sense of humor had never been all that requisite with his past dates. They’d literally fulfilled the roles she’d mocked him over mere moments before.
Why he was so robotic with the opposite sex, he really couldn’t say. But then, there was a lot he didn’t have the answer to, and he’d never been into self-psychoanalysis.
Undoubtedly, it was a mommy issue he had. They always blamed the mother, didn’t they? And if the father was absent, as his had been for a long time, then that was thrown into the mix too.
Clearing his throat, he murmured, “I’m surprised she managed to get an invitation so late.”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does.”
“Why?” Samantha cocked a brow at him, flooding the space between them with curiosity. And, truth was, he didn’t want any space between them.
Not even their clothes.
His jaw tightened at the idea of having that sultry form wriggling all over him as he mumbled, “If she’s here to make mischief, then I’d prefer to know about it sooner rather than later.”
Samantha nodded, took a sip of her champagne. “That makes sense,” she confessed. “Why would she want to make mischief?”
“I don’t know. I gave her a parting gift. Some can be happy with that, others want more.”
“What? A wedding ring?”
He snorted. “They know the score when they get into anything with me.”
“They do, huh?” She eyed him a second, and he knew she was judging him on his words.
Wanting to smack himself, and wondering where his renowned icy nature was hiding today, he sighed. “I wish I could start this evening over.”
“Why? I’ve found it rather illuminating.”
“I can believe it. I’ve made a real dick out of myself. I’m just…”
“Just what?”
“On edge, I guess.”
She frowned. “Why?”
He wafted a hand between them. “I’m surprised.”
“That you have feelings for me?”
His nod was slow. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“Because of Jamie.” It wasn’t a question. More like a blanket statement, and he saw the tightening in her eyes that spoke of remembered pain—gosh, he’d do anything in his power to make that go away.
But that was the problem.
It was out of his control, and he hated that.
“It’s to do with a lot of things. Some of it’s Jamie, some of it’s Erin. Some of it’s you and most of it’s just me. This is unusual for me,” he confessed softly. “I don’t do things like this.”
“I can tell. You really need to work on your charm.”
He sighed. “Thanks.”
“No worries,” she told him, cheerful again. “But, you’re pretty cute when you’re admitting to a failing, and I get the feeling you don’t admit to them often so I should take advantage of having a front row seat to the party.”
Despite himself, and despite the fact she’d made him the butt of her joke, he had to laugh. “I’d take full advantage of it,” he told her. “It doesn’t happen often. I can’t afford for it to.”
“Is it a good or bad thing that I’m making you feel this way?”
“That you’re making me feel anything at all is unnerving,” he said softly, and she froze at his side.
When she peered up at him, batting those big eyes of hers his way, he felt his heart plummet.
Why did she have this much power over him when she’d never had it before?
Why had they exploded into action that day in Frank and Janice’
s building?
Where had that come from? All that passion, newly triggered, and just needing to be burned off before they combusted from the sheer magnitude of the power springing to life between them?
It was beyond confusing and for a man who was rarely confused when it came down to his interactions with women, he felt like a dunce.
“Unnerving… that doesn’t sound wholly good or wholly bad.”
“It’s neither, I guess. I’m just reeling. I never expected any of this.”
“Doesn’t that mean we shouldn’t trust it?”
“Potentially,” he admitted. “But that’s what happened on the day… I pulled away because I didn’t trust what you made me feel. I needed to regroup. Then, you didn’t contact me. For three full weeks, Samantha. That changed things.”
She snorted. “Because I wasn’t willing to stroke your ego and other things, you sulked?”
“No. It just really gave me time to think. To think about you.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
He growled. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”
She fell silent as she reached for her glass. “What’s to take serious? This is a phase, Josh. I knocked you off your feet when I told you what Jamie was really like, and you’ve been unsteady ever since. You’ve gone above and beyond for me. I know that. I also truly appreciate it. But at the same time, I don’t want your pity.”
Josh scowled. “You think this is about pity? Dammit, Samantha! It has nothing to do with pity. Nothing at all!”
She flinched. “It seems like it to me.”
“How can this be about pity?” He grabbed her and hauled her against him; even though he knew it was a dick move to use his strength against her. When their bodies collided, it was as natural as breathing for her to settle into him—she relaxed, didn’t tense up and try to pull away.
She fucking molded herself to him.
Moving against him in such a way he felt certain, and the thought fucking petrified him, that she’d been made for him.
He nearly choked at the thought, but the choke turned into a low groan when she arched her hips and used the angle to tilt back and look up at him.
“That wasn’t fair,” she said on a whisper, her words low and unsteady, her eyes like midnight pools he wanted to dive headfirst into.
Believing Her: An Enemies to Lovers Fake Fiancé Romance Page 12