by A. K. Koonce
He takes his eyes off me for a moment to look up at Declan who stands a step behind me. The firelight reflects in Asher’s crystal eyes, highlighting his fury.
“Why don’t you go get some water?” Asher says softly, meeting my eyes again, hesitantly touching the hook of my arm. His fingers feel like a shock of electricity against my skin, bringing me to life after a year of numbness.
My palms have flattened against his chest now, making themselves at home in the divine crevices of his perfect body. My mind flutters to keep up with its surroundings. I fight to think rationally but I’m too tired to complete the effort. Besides, Asher’s here. He’s looking, speaking and touching me. Why find rationality when it isn’t needed? Nothing needs to be rationed. I need this. In an abundance.
Wait, what?
He’s still waiting for me to reply, for me to respond, I think. I smile up at his beautiful face, the only reply my mind allows me. An ache settles into my chest. Has he always been this good looking? How could my memory forget the light flecks of crystal amongst the gray in his eyes? My fingers push lightly against his pecs before tracing down the lines of his hard stomach, my index finger drifting off course to trail the length of the smooth scar, which matches my own, against his ribs. His muscles tense beneath my touch.
How has he gotten even sexier since the last time we touched?
My fingers are still traveling when he stops my hands at his lean waist. He’s still breathing heavy but his expression is no longer filled with anger. Why was he angry? Why was I angry? Confusion crosses my face just as a look of pain fills his.
“Do you want Luca to take you back to your bed?” he whispers for only me to hear.
A tingle feathers over my skin as his breath sweeps over my warm neck.
My eyes fall shut. Sleep. Yes. Nothing has sounded more fantastic in all my life.
Nodding up at him, I watch him call over his shoulder and speak with Luca. They talk in slow motion for what feels like an eternity, but I don’t mind. I could listen to his husky voice for hours, even if his words aren’t registering in my thoughts. My fingers flex back and forth against the hard muscles of his abdomen. He holds my wrists lightly in his hands, like a puppeteer with a wandering puppet.
Their conversation of making sure ‘Fallon has enough water to drink and isn’t left alone tonight’ is dragging on. My head grows heavy so I lean into him, resting my forehead against his chest. I breathe him in, a familiar scent of dirt, woods, and soap fill my nose.
“Luca’s going to take you to bed now, Fallon.” A dense pause settles into his whisper. He says my name like it's heavy in his mouth. “Be careful who you trust.” He pauses again like he’s thinking through every word he speaks. Apprehension flits through my mind. Should I be wary of the mystics here?
“She’s taken care of herself for almost a year now.” Declan’s angry and muffled voice cuts him off. I lift my head with concentrated effort to look over my shoulder at him and to better hear him. “Don’t come ruin her fun because you found time to remember you cared about her.”
Flickering rage ignites in his eyes as Asher glares at Declan from over my head. He slowly lowers my hands from him, disengaging our bodies. My hands are clammy at my sides without him and I put all my effort into following the conversation that swirls around me, reaching to catch the words that are too high above me to touch.
The people around us have stopped dancing and talking and now watch our every move. I suddenly want to be them. For the first time in my life, I want to see what others see when they look at me—on the outside looking in.
Luca takes my hand and pulls me from between the two hybrids. We stand a couple feet from them. She pulls at my hand like we might sneak off, but I refuse to leave. The cloud in my mind lifts slightly. Declan’s words flow through my head on repeat. I, too, am intrigued in how Asher might respond.
“I didn’t forget her,” Asher says, his brow lowering in rage. He opens his mouth to explain further.
“Don’t worry, because she finally forgot you,” Declan says in a slow and low voice, cutting him off. Asher turns away from him like he might walk away entirely, shaking his head in annoyance but Declan takes a step closer to Asher. “I helped her forget you,” he adds with taunting confidence, a smirk lighting his eyes as he licks his lips.
The muscles in Asher’s arm tic. He never looks away from Declan. A few mystics glance my way questioningly, but I don’t acknowledge them. The air is sucked out of my lungs at Declan’s confession.
That’s a lie! An exaggeration and an embarrassing confession that isn’t his to confess. You can’t speak for someone, even if they refuse to speak for themselves.
A second passes between them. The relentless drums have finally stopped pounding, realizing there’s new entertainment tonight.
Asher searches Declan’s eyes, calculating. I want to scream that it isn’t true, to reassure him somehow but my tongue is thick in my mouth.
I can see Asher swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before looking around at the large crowd watching them. His eyes flash to Gabriel’s, who stands across from me with his head held high to watch every move Declan makes.
Asher leans closer to Declan, his voice just above a whisper. “If you touch her again, I’ll end your little royal life you’ve been playing at here.” A sneering smile touches his lips. “The only thing you helped her forget is that there’s probably a reason society keeps throwing away trash like you.”
Declan’s jaw tics and in a flash his fist is against Asher’s face. I gasp at the sight of blood that gushes from his mouth, startled by the cracking sound that fills the air. Asher tenses but then laughs as the blood trickles down his chin and throat.
“Finally, a fucking reaction I was expecting in this place,” Asher says, wiping the back of his hand against his bloody mouth, flinging the blood from his hand to the dirt.
Declan’s posture changes, feet apart, fists clenched the way he has countless times during our training. Asher paces a small circle in front of him, working his jaw back and forth, a twisting smile lingering on his bloody lips.
Kaino pushes his way through the mass of people, the crowd bowing around the commander. Asher nods to him in acknowledgment, a seemingly pleasant gesture between friends. Kaino doesn’t acknowledge the greeting, nor does he come between the two. It isn’t the Wanderer’s way. If confrontation occurs, it’ll be settled immediately and never spoke of again. It will not be a reoccurring event.
Asher finally stops his short circular pacing and walks predatorily back to Declan. Declan stands on edge. His mind clearly working to calculate Asher’s next move.
Standing face-to-face with one another it’s strange to think I found any similarity between them. Asher’s lean frame has become wrapped in muscle, still the beautiful hybrid I met over a year ago but stronger and angrier than he once was. I guess I am as well. It’s what heartbreak does to a person. It makes you angry, but it also makes you stronger than you ever thought you could be.
Asher gives Declan another sadistically warm smile. Gently, he raises his palm to the side of Declan’s face. Declan’s eyes follow the slow, calm movement. Asher pats his hand against Declan’s jaw the way a proud father would his son.
“When I said never to touch her again,” Asher’s eyes are lit red against the flames of the fire, his bloody smile never faltering as his low voice travels through the crowd. “That goes for me, too.” He taps his palm one last time against Declan’s jaw before shoving Declan’s face down and slamming his other fist into the side of Declan’s head. It happens so fast I barely track the movement at all.
I watch in horror as the side of Declan’s face collides with Asher’s fist, the sound of bone cracking fills the silence. The power in which Asher shoves Declan’s face and the force of his fist connecting knocks Declan out immediately.
My stomach rolls and threatens to release all the alcohol I’ve dumped into it over the last couple hours. Asher lifts his eyes from Decl
an’s motionless body on the ground to where I stand. The smile that was on display for Declan still mars his face but it’s a sad, forced smile now.
He takes a couple of slow confident steps toward me. A guilty look fills his face as he searches my eyes as if expecting anger there. But I’m not angry. Declan had no right to say what he did. I wish it hadn’t had happened at all but I’m not my friend's keeper.
Asher turns his head to spit, red tinged saliva covers the dirt. Blood still stains his throat, lips, and fists but when I look into his beautiful eyes, I’m filled with surprised happiness that he’s still in there. My Asher. The one that cares if I think he’s a monster or not.
“In case we never get formally introduced here,” he holds out his bloody hand to me, his closeness spreading warmth into me. “My name’s Asher Xavier.”
Chapter Eight
A Life Long Lost
Of course, I dream that night. It starts bittersweet this time. I dream of my mother. A nocturnal memory of my childhood. She’s reading a fairy tale in my tiny bedroom back at our camp, the four walls closed tightly in on us. I’m curled up next to her as she tells tales of clever princesses and daring princes. The mother-daughter bond stirs questions of my father in my childlike mind. I push the thought of my father aside and snuggle closer to my mother. Happy just to have her here.
A confused aching grows heavy in my chest, a pain that I can’t quite grasp. I smother the feeling out immediately and let my eyes drift closed as I listen to my mother’s smooth voice calm me. So different from how we spoke just before she died.
She died.
The words float into my mind and my sad adolescent eyes jar open. But see nothing. Only darkness surrounds me. I feel around my blankets, but she’s gone and I am alone. The warmth my mother’s memory provided is also gone. A coldness bites into my skin and I struggle to burrow into the thin blankets.
“Fallon.” A whisper echoes around the small room.
I still beneath the blanket and consider hiding my head from the eerie voice.
“Fallon, follow me and you’ll never suffer the feeling of loneliness for the rest of your days,” the harsh murmur says, crawling like a spider over my skin, weaving a web of whispers through my mind.
My heart starts to pound and I worry the voice can hear it in the silence. I steal a glance at the window Ayden climbed through countless times. The black sky outside is moonless and provides no lighting to soothe my fear.
Red eyes blink back at me within the dark and depthless room. Deep and unhelpful breaths fill my lungs as I heave for air, frantic heartbeats fill my chests. A sudden light appears across the red eyed monster within the room and a gasp is all I can manage when the thing looks back at me with a face identical to my own.
Unblinkingly I stare into the fiery eyes as I trace the sunken and deathly features of my own face. A chill runs over my body and I can feel the whisper crawl across my damp, clammy skin when it speaks again.
“Fallon-”
I flinch awake. My heart still hammering in my chest as the whisper drifts through my mind over and over again.
A deep breath fills my lungs but my body is constricted. A strong arm is wrapped around me and a warm breath flutters across my sweating neck.
I’m surprised at first, my muscles tensing in place, but warm familiarity drifts through me.
Asher.
My heart calms, my breathing returns to normal in the safety of his arms.
I wonder how long he’s been here. Luca walked me to my bunk after everything happened last night but I refused to let her babysit me. Even though I almost died climbing the rope up to my bed in my drunken state. It’s still very dark out. Possibly only an hour or two has passed.
My mind has sobered since the celebration. Embarrassment washes over me at the memory of dancing in Declan’s arms. Kaino saw me, which is mortifying enough, but the whole community saw me, too, I suppose. Even though I was annoyed at Asher’s interest in Nerissa, I don’t want him to think there is anything between Declan and I. I think further and remember touching Asher like a cat with a new ball of yarn and embarrassment flames my face.
How will I ever look anyone in the eye after last night?
“I’m sorry,” Asher says in a remorseful voice against my neck, fanning his breath over my body in an agonizingly slow sigh.
His words bring hesitation into my mind, taking me by surprise that he’s awake. My body tingles against his breath. My heart racing back to life.
I wait for him to say more—what he’s sorry for—but his words never come. He’s sorry for tonight? For the last year? That he couldn’t find me? That he couldn’t save my mother?
“You’re avoiding me.”
His statement hangs in the air around us and I’m just not sure what to say. My chest feels heavy, overcrowded with too many emotions. Instead of speaking, I shift closer to him under my blanket, the boards sounding with my every move. The solace I find in his arms, in just being held, almost dissolves the pain that’s building within me.
The wooden pallet barely supplies enough room for myself, so the space around us is limited. I’m amazed the frame holds both of our weight without crumbling to the ground below.
“You’re different now.” The simple statement seems to be clouded with confusion against his lips. “You’re…sronger.” His fingers trace my lean sides. “You’re…who you’ve always been on the inside.”
My chest aches being so close to him. My emotions are a storm of confusion. The pain I’ve held in for the past year is building within me and I release a shuddering breath into the night.
“A little quieter than I remember...”
“Where were you?” I ask almost accusingly, trying to catch my breath. Always trying to keep calm around Asher.
Seconds tick by, stolen in the silence by the night breeze. I start to wonder if he heard me at all. His arm that’s folded comfortably over me drifts down to rest over my hip. Pulling me impossibly closer to him. A deep inhale is heard over my shoulder like he’s about to relive a life long lost.
“After everything at the Burrow. After I told you to run, more veil came in. You,” Another deep sigh, his warm breath falling down my spine. “You don’t know how many nights I’ve lost sleep wondering if one of them found you. The veil infested the forest, Gabriel and I fled. He dragged me away, there was a moment I thought he was dragging a corpse along with him. We ran for days, never stopping. Weeks later, after I healed and we hadn’t seen any sign of veil, I returned and tracked your trail the best I could but it was like you disappeared entirely.”
The memory of stepping into the enchanted society, feeling like I somehow walked through a wall or shield, comes to mind. I did disappear and Asher wouldn’t have found me unless he was brought here just like I was.
“I checked the Burrow, the cave, I even discreetly watched your camp for any sign of you. It was like the beautiful girl that constantly glared and watched me every day through the compound window never existed at all.”
His arms tighten around me a bit more, hugging me to his chest.
“We hid in the mountains for months. That’s where we removed his tracking device and chip.” Where Gabriel lost his hand. In a place made of the only material strong enough to truly harm a hybrid.
Sorting through all of his information, I’m surprised they didn’t run right into Luca during their searches for me.
“You’ve been in Pike’s Peak this entire time?”
I feel him nod against my hair. He rests his head against my own.
They’ve been hiding in a mountain range that literally has their names on it—Pike’s Peak—The Red Hills. All this time Luca’s searched for him and he’s been less than a day’s hike away, living in the shadows of monsters. That’s how he found me—found Luca I should say. The vampires helped him…
We’re both quiet for a while. The strong thrum of his heartbeat against my back fills my chest with peace and his body, wrapped neatly around mine, kee
ps me warm against the light breeze. The fan of his breath against my neck is a constant reminder that he’s all around me. Finally. After all this time.
I swallow the lump in my throat and water fills my eyes, threatening to spill over.
“I never stopped searching for you, despite my fears that there would be nothing to find,” he says against my messy hair.
His hands loosen comfortably around me and quiet tears slip down my cheeks at the thought of how many nights have passed without him holding me.
We lie in silence, his thumb brushing back and forth against my hip, the only sign that he’s still awake. The bright stars that I’ve poured my heart out to night after night are shining down on us. Two friends lost, then found.
Friends. Is that what we still are? So much time has passed, yet lying in his arms feels as natural as breathing. So much has changed but this hasn’t. We haven’t felt like friends the last couple of days. I guess that’s my own fault. I should tell Raske the truth. Kaino would be relieved.
I just can’t lose Asher again. Even if I am ruining the future for other people, the people here, people like my camp family, people like Ayden. People who are forced into unions and solitude and jobs and lives they don’t want. Is my own happiness not equal to theirs? My mother gave her life to see me happy. Could I be happy with Kaino? As happy as I am right now just lying next to this beautiful and broken hybrid?
“I should go,” Asher says slowly but doesn’t release me from his arms.
It’s like he can sense my worry. My anxiety over something that is actually an easy choice for me.
“You should stay,” I whisper back to him, keeping my eyes closed, my mind dancing between reality and sleep.
His chest heaves against my spine and he nestles his head closer to my neck. “Always so quietly confident,” he says, his lips brushing my neck with every word, making my heart pound with the tiny wisps of air.
A smile forms against my lips at how easily persuaded he is.
Chapter Nine