He looked away. ‘I’m not the one who lied about their career.’
‘And I’m not the one who lied about never having been married.’
He paled, suitably abashed. Good.
She swallowed back the lump in her throat. ‘Looks like we’ve both been pretending to be someone we’re not.’ She walked off, unable to stop the tears falling. ‘And don’t bother telling me I’m fired. I know!’
‘I’m glad we agree on something!’ Will called after her, his voice cracking.
But she wasn’t about to let that derail her. He wasn’t the only one who was upset.
She sped towards the guesthouse, head down, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her feet slipped on the uneven cobbled stones, her vision clouded from crying.
The town centre was packed and it was an effort to push through the crowds. Most people didn’t even notice her. The few who did gave her an odd look.
Lily didn’t care. She just needed to get to the sanctity of her room and succumb to the hurt she felt. The remorse, the humiliation, the inadequacy. Most of all, the rejection.
She’d been found out, and found wanting. As a costume designer, as a person and as a lover. Even as a childminder. It was quite crushing to discover you sucked at so many things.
She wondered if there was a competition for people who’d stuffed up their life? Like the Darwin Awards. If so, she had a shot at the Gold Medal position. She defied anyone to have made such a mess of their life in such a short space of time.
Stumbling into the tea rooms, she ran for the stairs, ignoring startled looks from the punters enjoying a festival special cream tea.
She was being dramatic, she knew that. Indulging in self-pity and feeling sorry for herself. But she didn’t care. Tomorrow she would regroup, pull herself together and move on, lesson learnt. For now, she just wanted to wallow in self-loathing.
She flopped onto the bed face down and let the tears fall, expelling her grief. For her granddad, for the loss of her family, for her home in Haringey, even her old crappy job.
Mostly she cried because she’d been dumped. Both as an employee and as a girlfriend. Not that her and Will had ever been a couple, but they might have been. They could have been. She’d wanted them to be. But she’d blown it. And so had he.
The deep sobs morphed into a pathetic whimper, followed by drifting into a fitful sleep, which was abruptly ended by a loud knock on the door.
She blinked and rolled over. What time was it? How long had she been asleep?
Another knock. ‘Lily…? Lily, are you in there?’ It was Zac.
She sat up and stretched, stiff from lying face down. It was dusk outside, the daylight replaced by evening twilight.
‘Lily? Open up, it’s urgent.’ Zac banged on the door.
‘Okay, okay, I’m coming.’ She crossed the room and opened the door. ‘What’s the emergency?’
‘Poppy’s missing.’
‘Missing…? What do you mean missing?’
‘She’s run off.’ Zac looked frantic. ‘One minute she was there, the next she was gone.’
‘Why would she run off?’
‘She overheard you and Will arguing.’
‘What do you mean, she overheard us arguing?’ The implication that this was somehow her fault again smarted. ‘How did she overhear us?’
‘We were on our way to meet Will after the concert finished, but we arrived early. Me, my grandparents and Poppy, when we saw you guys arguing.’
‘I didn’t see you.’
‘You were kind of busy. We hung around the side of the building, out of sight.’
Just when she’d foolishly thought her humiliation couldn’t get any worse. ‘And you thought it was okay to listen in?’
‘No, but by the time we realised what you were rowing about, it was too late.’
‘Too late for what?’
‘To stop Poppy running off. One minute she was there, the next she’d vanished. We couldn’t keep up with her, there were too many people about. We’ve looked everywhere. We can’t find her. I thought she might’ve come here.’
‘Well, she hasn’t.’ Poppy had run off? Lily rubbed her chest. This was not a good situation. ‘Have you called the police?’
‘Will called them. They’re out looking for her.’
‘Well, good. I hope they find her.’
‘I hope so too. Will’s frantic.’ She could imagine. Zac continued, ‘I kind of feel responsible. You know, for involving you. Sorry.’ He looked ashamed and vulnerable, and like any young person who’d learnt the hard way that they weren’t invincible. ‘I had no idea it would blow up like this. I feel like shit.’
He wasn’t the only one. ‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘Not really, I just wanted to check she wasn’t here. I’ll keep looking.’ He turned to leave.
‘I hope you find her,’ she called after him as he disappeared downstairs.
She went over and sat on the bed pondering what to do.
Should she join in the search? Will wouldn’t be happy about her involvement, he’d made it clear he wanted her to stay away from his daughter.
But Poppy had run off because she’d heard them arguing, so she was partly to blame. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to the girl.
Grabbing a cardigan, she ran from the guesthouse, shoving her arms into the garment as she raced downstairs. The more people out searching for Poppy, the better. And if Will didn’t like that, then tough. She no longer cared what he thought… or at least, she was trying very hard not to.
Lily exited her lodgings and scanned the cobbled streets, checking the pubs, the cafes and the empty doorways. No sign of her.
She headed up to the castle, but the gates were closed for the evening, so she then made her way to the old railway station, and began searching the packed restaurants and bars, asking on repeat if, ‘Anyone had seen a little girl in a red dress?’ hoping it might jog a few memories. No one recalled seeing her.
Where next?
Lily ran down the hill towards Alexandra Gardens, but the venue was closed. Only a few workers moseyed around collecting litter and checking the grounds for lost property. But there was no Poppy to be seen.
The last place she could think of was the funfair.
Would Poppy have gone there? She had no idea.
By the time Lily reached the Thames and crossed Eton Bridge, her legs were like jelly. Her lungs were devoid of air and she was in danger of getting cramp. She was seriously out of condition. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, resting her hands on her knees.
Partially recovered, she resumed her search, checking the side streets, the crowds, asking anyone and everyone on the way if they’d seen a little girl in a red dress. No one had.
Reaching Brocas Green, the site of the funfair, Lily was hit by the noise first, a cacophony of machines, fairground music and the whir and bang of mechanical rides.
The ferris wheel dominated the view, a huge construction lit up with red and green flashing lights. There were stalls selling candyfloss and toffee apples. Fishing and shooting games seduced punters with the promise of winning a goldfish or a giant teddy bear.
She could hear screams from the riders on the nearby rollercoaster and bumper cars, as well as yelps from the people being thrown from the mechanical bull ride, and threats of ‘I’m going to be sick’ from those being spun around on the waltzer and spinning teacups.
The place was packed. How on earth was she going to find Poppy amongst the crowds? That was if she was even here. Where would an eleven-year-old girl run off to?
Lily tried to think back to being that young. Where would she have sought refuge?
Her bedroom.
Well, Poppy wasn’t likely to be there, was she? Or if she was, then hopefully Will or the police would locate her.
Unwilling to admit defeat, Lily continued searching, more from a sense of needing to do something, than believing she’d find the girl. It was better than retu
rning to the guesthouse and spending the night worrying.
Flashing red lights drew her attention to the love ride. It was advertised for ‘couples only’, attracting a load of loved-up teenagers queuing outside. Lily checked the line, but Poppy wasn’t among them.
And then a flash of red caught her eye.
Someone was sitting on the steps of the magical gypsy caravan. The person was small, hunched over, and hugging their knees, their long fair hair hanging lose.
Poppy.
Thank goodness!
Lily ran over… but then slowed, realising she needed to approach with caution and not frighten the girl. ‘Hey, there, Poppy,’ she called, trying for a casual tone.
Poppy glanced up. Her face was tearstained and wretched with misery.
It broke Lily’s heart.
She gestured to the wooden steps. ‘Okay if I sit down?’
Poppy nodded.
Lily perched next to her. ‘What are you doing here?’
Poppy shrugged. ‘Hiding, I guess.’
‘A lot of people are looking for you.’ She put her arm around her. ‘Your daddy’s really worried.’
No response.
She rubbed the girl’s shoulder, figuring she needed comforting. ‘Come on, talk to me. What’s up?’
‘He didn’t tell you about me,’ she said, so quietly Lily barely heard her.
Lily stilled. Oh, hell. ‘Is that why you ran off?’
She nodded. ‘And because he yelled at you.’
‘Well, I deserved it.’
She looked up, her eyes wide. ‘You did? What did you do?’
Lily had no idea what the right thing was to do here. As Will had unhelpfully pointed out, she wasn’t a parent. But as lying hadn’t worked for her so far, maybe the truth was needed.
‘I’m afraid I lied to him. I pretended to be a qualified costume designer to get the job on the festival project. That was a very bad thing to do. He was right to be angry with me when he found out.’
‘Why did you lie?’
‘Well, to start with, it was a mix-up. I thought your daddy knew I wasn’t an experienced designer when his company hired me. By the time I realised there’d been a mistake, I was too cowardly to confess.’ She tried to look contrite. ‘I’ve always wanted to be a costume designer, you see, and I thought I could pretend to be one and not get found out. Silly, huh?’
‘But you do design costumes. You made my Mad Hatter costume. It was beautiful. Everyone said so.’
‘Aw, thank you. I’m glad it went down well.’ She hugged the girl closer. ‘But it turns out that making costumes isn’t the same as being the lead designer on a project like this.’ She gestured to the enormity of the event surrounding them. ‘There were lots of things I didn’t know how to do, and I made lots of mistakes.’
Poppy stared at her hands. ‘Is that why Daddy got mad?’
‘Yes. This project is very important to him, and I nearly messed it up for him. I feel very bad about that.’
Poppy’s forehead creased into a frown. ‘But why are you mad at him? You were yelling, too.’
‘That’s true.’ Crikey, how much to reveal? Telling the truth seemed to be working so far. ‘Your daddy was upset that he didn’t know you were spending time with me, he thought you were with your cousin. Which is fair enough. But you see, I didn’t know you were his daughter. Not until yesterday, so I was angry that he hadn’t told me about you.’
‘Why didn’t he tell you about me?’
Bloody good question. Something she’d like to know the answer to herself. ‘You’ll have to talk to him about that. But I think it’s because he’s very protective of you. He needs to know a person is completely trustworthy before he allows them into your life. I get that.’ And she did. Will had something incredibly precious to protect. She understood that now.
Poppy rested her head against Lily’s shoulder. ‘I wondered if he regretted having me.’
Oh, hell.
Lily knew she needed to tread carefully. ‘Why on earth would you think that?’
‘I overheard my friend’s mum saying that his life would be a lot easier if he hadn’t had me.’
Crikey. Nice woman. ‘My grandma always used to say, it’s better to trust what you know to be true, than listen to what other people imagine to be true.’
Poppy raised her head. ‘What’s does that mean?’
‘It means, trust what’s in your heart.’ She gazed into Poppy’s huge grey eyes. ‘Let me ask you this… do you think your daddy loves you?’
Poppy nodded.
‘And do you think he’d be happier or sadder if you weren’t in his life?’
Poppy mulled it over. ‘Sadder.’
‘Exactly. I don’t know your daddy very well, but one thing I do know for certain is that he definitely loves you. He adores you, in fact. Why else do you think he was so angry yesterday when he discovered you weren’t with Zac like you were supposed to be? You gave him a fright. If something had happened to you, he wouldn’t have known where you were, or who you were with. That scared him.’
‘But I make his life hard sometimes.’
She smiled. ‘You also make it wonderful for him. Do you know how I know this?’
Poppy shook her head.
‘Because I know what it’s like to be in his position. I don’t have a child to look after, but I did care for my poorly granddad for a very long time. It wasn’t always easy. He was sick and confused and it upset me a lot to see him that way, but I never regretted for one second looking after him. I loved him very much. He was my family. I would’ve done anything for him and that’s how I know your daddy feels the same way about you.’
Poppy let out a long sigh. ‘I guess.’
‘He’s had to be both a mummy and a daddy to you. That must have been hard at times, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you. It just means things aren’t always easy, or as straightforward as when you have two parents.’
Poppy sat up straighter. ‘That’s why I’ve been trying to find a new mummy. So he wouldn’t have to do it all alone, and he could be happy again.’
Lily’s chest contracted. For a moment, she couldn’t speak.
‘I thought… maybe… you could be my new mummy?’
Lily closed her eyes. Oh, if only.
But it wouldn’t do to share her feelings with the girl. The poor thing was upset enough as it was. She didn’t need another disappointment. Or for her dad to be portrayed as the ‘baddie’ in the situation. And admitting Will ‘didn’t want her’ any more to an eleven-year-old was a humiliation too far.
She mustered a smile. ‘Well, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. If I’m lucky enough to ever have a daughter, I hope she’s as lovely as you.’ She kissed Poppy’s forehead. ‘But I’m afraid your daddy and I are never going to be girlfriend and boyfriend. We’re just not compatible. We want different things. I’m sorry.’
Poppy buried her head in Lily’s shoulder, ‘Ohhhkaaay.’
It was now time to return Poppy to her rightful owner… before Lily became even more attached than she already was. Staying wasn’t an option, sadly.
‘Now, being the numpty that I am, I didn’t pick up my phone before I left the guesthouse, so I can’t call your daddy and let him know you’re okay. Dumb, huh?’ She lifted Poppy’s chin. ‘So shall we head off and see if we can find a policeman to call him for us?’
Poppy nodded.
‘Good girl.’ Lily stood and offered Poppy her hand. ‘Your daddy will be worried sick.’ She pulled Poppy upright and they wandered off hand in hand in search of assistance.
As it happened, they didn’t need the police. As they reached the exit, Will appeared, running towards them. He looked frantic, tearful and close to exploding.
Gemma was behind him, struggling to keep up.
‘Over here!’ Lily waved to catch his attention. ‘Poppy’s here. She’s safe!’
Will screeched to a halt, his face crumpling into relieved agony as he rac
ed over. ‘Sweetie, you gave me such a fright. Where have you been?’ He dropped to his knees and pulled her into a crushing hug. ‘I’ve been so worried.’
‘Sorry, Daddy,’ she mumbled, her face squashed into his shoulder.
‘Don’t ever run off like that again! You’ve taken years off me.’ He held her at arm’s length. ‘If I upset you, tell me, okay? Yell at me, even. But don’t run off. My heart can’t take it. I couldn’t bear to lose you. You’re my world.’
She nodded. ‘I know.’
He gave a shaky laugh. ‘Well, I’m glad that’s cleared up.’
‘Lily told me.’
‘Lily?’ He reluctantly turned to look at his daughter’s rescuer properly. ‘Lily, right. Err… thanks for finding her.’
Wow, could he sound any more begrudging? ‘No problem,’ she said, trying to sound gracious, but knowing that she sounded peevish. ‘I’m glad she’s safe.’
‘Where did you find her?’ Gemma joining the group, panting. ‘We looked everywhere.’
‘I found her sitting on some steps by one of the rides.’
‘Thank God nothing’s happened to her.’ Gemma offered her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks for looking after her until we could get here,’ she said, with a lot more sincerity than her brother. ‘I’m sure Will’s very grateful.’
And Lily was sure he wasn’t.
But it didn’t matter. Poppy was safe, that was all that mattered. She could cope being in Will’s bad books.
She touched Poppy’s shoulder. ‘Take care, Poppy. Good luck with the sewing. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you.’
Poppy broke free from Will’s clasp and flung her arms around Lily. ‘I’ll miss you.’
It was an effort for Lily to swallow. Hold it together, she told herself. Don’t lose it now. Just a couple more minutes. For Poppy’s sake.
‘I’ll miss you, too,’ she said, stoking the girl’s hair. ‘Be good for your daddy, okay?’ And with that, she extricated herself from Poppy’s impossibly tight hug and walked off, unable to contain her emotions any longer.
However much she wanted to fall apart, she was determined not to collapse until she was out of sight. She refused to give Will Taylor the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
Someone Like You: Escape with this perfect uplifting romance Page 29