by Rachel Dove
‘If I ever have sex,’ she said vehemently, pointing to the back of Hans’s head as he navigated their drive to the hospital, ‘with that man ever again, shoot me. Please.’
Rebecca laughed, but it turned into a shriek of pain when Holly’s grip tightened.
‘Laugh again, and I’ll rip them right off. You’ll never bake or ski again.’
Rebecca sat meekly for a second. The car fell silent.
‘Jesus,’ Hans said. ‘I’m going to be a father.’
They all smiled at each other then, catching Hans’s reflection in the central mirror. Holly’s contraction started to kick in again, and Rebecca lost feeling in her fingers.
‘Yeah,’ Holly said. ‘Well, you’re on nappy duty till he’s twenty-five, so good luck with that! It’ll give you something to do with all the sex we WON’T BE HAVING! Arrggghhh!’
Hans put his foot down, just a touch. He had to navigate down the mountainside and keep on the road with his nerves jangling, and Holly screaming for his testicles as tribute. It felt like another five years passed on that drive. When the medical centre finally loomed in the windshield, even the baby surely sighed with relief.
‘That’s my girl! Nearly there!’ Hans said, being as supportive as he could.
‘Shut up!’
‘I love you!’
‘Naff off!’
They took the side road, and the car park came into view.
Rebecca tapped out a couple of texts to cover the café and stop people worrying, and Hans drove straight into the car park.
‘We’ll never get a space Hans, drive to the entrance. I’ll park up for you.’
Hans turned the corner. Luke was standing in front of an empty parking space. When he saw Hans, he waved him in, passing him a ticket through the open window.
‘Thanks mate,’ Hans parked up and scooping Holly up into his arms, he strode off to reception.
‘Hans, don’t you drop me on this floor!’
Holly had her arms around his neck, and he stopped for a second to kiss her on the lips.
‘Not a chance,’ he said softly, striding off once more as if she weighed nothing. ‘Let’s go have a baby!’
‘Baby!’ Holly shouted, pumping her fist up in the air as they left Luke and Rebecca standing alone. He looked behind him at the waiting wheelchair.
‘I thought she might have needed this.’ He took hold of the handles. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I have to go.’ She was blindsided again. Luke was right here, being all knight in shining labour.
‘Rebecca.’
‘I’m Holly’s birth partner. I have to go.’ She headed inside, feeling her cheeks explode like a tomato. She felt like everyone was looking at her. Why is he here? She headed straight to where Holly was getting booked in. Hans was rubbing her back whilst she leaned against the counter. He saw her come up and gave her a sheepish look.
‘Don’t kill me yet, I want to see my son first. He came back yesterday. Mina put him up.’ Wow. Mina hated everyone. She’d had him as a houseguest, even after bin-gate? Rebecca smirked. Typical Luke. Lovely Luke. Lost to me Luke.
‘Here Holly,’ Luke pushed the chair towards Holly, appearing at Rebecca’s side, and he and Hans settled her in. A midwife came to speak to them, and before Rebecca knew it, she was walking away from Luke again, into the delivery suite with a nervous Hans. Just before the doors closed, she turned to look at him, but the corridor was empty.
*
It was a very different woman that emerged from that delivery suite. Rebecca felt like she’d been there a week, but everything had happened at warp speed. She’d seen things that she could never un-see, and she had a whole new respect for her own pelvic floor. She’d left the happy new family in their own little baby bubble and caught a cab back to Fir Tree Lodge.
Pulling up outside, she saw that the café lights were still on. Getting out of the cab, she dragged herself inside to see what the carnage was. Unlocking the door, she saw that everything had been squared away.
‘Thank you, Eloise,’ she said to the ceiling as she tried to uncrick her neck. Holly had a lethal headlock.
Heading to the flat door, flicking off the lights as she went, she heard the radio and felt a pang for Luke. He’d only lived here a week but this past month she’d felt like he was everywhere. She’d thrown herself into work, spent time with her friends, done more skiing than she had ever done. She couldn’t get off the slopes these days, it calmed her. It was the only place where her heart didn’t feel like it was being slowly crushed.
Locking up, she went into the kitchen. Flicking the music off, she took a bottle of wine from the fridge and poured herself a good measure.
‘To you, little one,’ she toasted, clinking her glass against the right boob shaker.
‘Everything went well with the baby?’
She jumped, splashing half her glass down herself.
Luke was standing in the doorway. ‘I didn’t mean to surprise you. Eloise was pretty busy, I came to help. I told her I could finish clearing up, so she could get back to the kids.’
‘You scared the hell out of me!’
‘Sorry. Again. I’ll go now. I made you a sandwich, in the fridge. I thought you might be hungry.’
She opened the fridge. He’d bought her some snacks too, the stuff she liked. She’d not even seen it before.
‘Luke?’
He appeared again.
‘Yeah?’
‘Where are you staying?’
Luke shook his head. ‘Not sure yet, to be honest, I was going to go to Mina’s but—’
‘She’s a lot, isn’t she?’
Luke looked relieved that he wasn’t digging her out. ‘A bit. She’s not a fan of houseguests. Hans did say I could stay there, but with the baby, I don’t know.’
‘You can stay here.’ She took a gulp of wine. ‘It’s Hans’s place. They need their space, new family and all. It’s just for a week or so right, till the comp?’ Hans had filled her in post crowning.
Luke nodded slowly. ‘Yes, I’m flying home the day after.’
That was that then. He was here for the comp. To finish what he and his parents had started. She couldn’t find fault with that, as much as it saddened her heart.
‘That’s settled then.’ She went to head to the bathroom, wanting to shower off the day and gather her thoughts behind the closed door.
‘Are you sure? I wasn’t—’
‘I know you weren’t asking, but Hans did say he would put you up till the competition. I’m sure we can manage to get through a week.’
‘The first one was pretty good. With the baby and everything, I guess it will be awkward at Hans’s.’
‘Yeah, you wouldn’t want that.’
‘Yeah, nothing worse than feeling awkward around someone you care about.’ He put his head down, and she took the opportunity to walk away.
‘You off to bed already?’
It was only early, but she was exhausted.
‘It’s been a hell of a day Luke.’
‘I know, I just …’
‘You’re here for the competition, right? That’s what matters. Doing it for your dad. Night Luke.’
She heard him sigh as she walked past him, but she kept walking. All she could focus on was getting to the other side of the door before she broke and begged him to stay. There was no point. He’d betrayed her trust, just like Robbie did, thinking he knew what was best for her. Everyone thought they knew best. Just because he was right on this occasion didn’t mean that it was forgotten. She wanted him, but she’d gone a month without him. She could live without him again. If she had to.
Seeing Hans and Holly together, cooing over their little bundle, that’s what she should be focusing on. They would have their hands full now, and she needed to focus too. On the café, on her parents, on taking the next steps in her own life. The trouble was, the man currently sighing outside her bathroom door keep popping into her head, making her plans feel pathetic and one dimensio
nal. Now he was back, it hurt even more. It was going to be a hell of a long week. The competition was looming, and she was fast running out of places to hide.
*
‘She let me stay here, sure, but only because she loves you and Holly. She knows you need your space.’
Hans yawned into the phone. Luke was working on his laptop, debugging the website of a new client. The new sofa in the lodge looked really nice, but Luke found himself missing the old wine- and steak-stained one, and the sheets they’d draped over it. They owned furniture together, lived together again but this morning she had gone by the time he had woken up, and Eloise was working the café with a server he’d not seen before. No note, not that she had to tell him where she was. At this point, they weren’t even friends. It made his heart ache. When Frank had suggested he go back, finish the competition, he’d said no. He didn’t want to leave his side again, even if it was to see Rebecca. She hadn’t called, but she’d asked about Frank. She cared, just not about him anymore. He’d let her down, and she had cut him out of her life. She was quite good at that, it seemed.
‘I have had two hours’ sleep, my friend, but you are still slower on the uptake.’
‘What?’ Luke scratched his head.
‘Holly, tell him. Have … to …’ There was a rustling noise, and Holly came on the line.
‘Hi Luke, Hans is out cold. His son has a set of lungs on him.’
‘Our … son, our son …’
‘Go to sleep. Did you speak to her yet?’
‘No. She’s gone off somewhere. Do you know where?’
Holly didn’t answer.
‘Holly?’
‘Wha …? Sorry, dozed off. What did you say?’
‘Do you know where Becks went, she’s been gone all day.’
No answer.
‘Holly, did you fall asleep again?’
The line was quiet for a beat, and then Holly spoke again.
‘No, I just don’t know whether to tell you or not. I just gave birth, my girl code radar’s busted up.’
‘Please, Holly! I will babysit whenever you like. Whenever!’
‘You go home in a week!’
‘So, FedEx the little guy over. He’ll love it!’
‘That sounds awful. And actually quite tempting, which tells me my instincts are definitely off. I can’t do it Luke. Have you tried calling her?’
‘Yeah, but I’m pretty sure she blocked me.’
‘Typical Rebecca. Give her time, Luke. She’s working through some stuff.’
‘Did she say anything about me?’
‘BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP! Girl code radar’s working again. I definitely can’t tell you that. Talk to her Luke! You live together. Write her a note on the bathroom mirror for God’s sake.’ The baby started crying in the background, and Luke could hear a man-sized baby start to sob too. ‘Listen, I have to go. Please, talk to each other. Try with Luke. No gestures, just talk! Hans, where are you going? Hans? HANS, THAT’S NOT THE TOILET! What the f—’
The line went dead, and Luke cringed. Thank God his ex-girlfriend had put him up. Awkward and heartbreaking as it was to be near her, it knocked spots off living anywhere else. It meant a chance, at least.
He tried to concentrate on his work again, before giving up and pulling some sticky notes out of his work bag. He picked up a pen and started to write. It was worth a shot. He was on his twentieth attempt when Hans sent him a text that had him running to the door.
*
‘My question is also to you, Becks,’ began Andy McNabb, the sports reporter for the Post. He gave her a courteous nod, and she nodded back. Andy was a good guy, she remembered him. Tough but fair. ‘Given that Alpine Challenge is a brand new event on the resort’s calendar, why this one? Why not one of the others, the ones you have already competed in, and won?’ She could see Robbie flinch from the corner of her eye.
‘Twice, in some cases,’ she said into the microphone. She always did have the slight edge on Robbie. Andy and a few of the others in the room chuckled. They were in the main conference room of the hub of the competition centre, giving their press conference ahead of the event.
‘Exactly,’ Andy continued. ‘Why this challenge, and why this year?’
A couple of latecomers came in at the back, and Rebecca took the moment of distraction to find her voice.
‘The Alpine Challenge is fresh, it’s new, and it has no winners and no losers. It’s a clean blanket of snow for every single one of us.’ She looked down the table at her competitors, making eye contact with each one, and leaving Robbie till last. ‘What went on before is irrelevant. The past is the past.’ She addressed the reporters once more, the clicks from cameras audible in the space.
‘I’m doing this competition because it’s time. I have had enough rest, and it’s time for the next chapter. For a long time, I sat in the shadows, but that’s done now.’ She eyed Robbie again. ‘I’m here to win.’
Andy nodded, smiling. ‘Thanks Rebecca, and the next question is to you, Robbie, if I may?’
Robbie’s head perked up, and he made a finger gun at him. ‘Shoot.’
Andy raised a brow but didn’t miss a beat. ‘Thank you. Tell us please, how does it feel to be competing against the Ice Rebel?’
Robbie’s smiling lips froze in place and Rebecca resisted the urge to smirk. Only just. Looking away, she scanned the crowd, and then she was staring into Luke’s eyes. He didn’t look away.
‘It feels great, I’m looking forward to it. Like Rebecca says, it’s all to play for now.’ He gave her a sneering look disguised as a friendly little nod. She rolled her eyes, making a couple of reporters on the front row titter. She looked back to Luke and he was rolling his. Heidi Erskin was getting questioned now, and she took the chance to take him in. He looked tired, but his eyes were sparkling at her from across the room.
She had rather hoped that in the last month he might have gone to seed a bit, like any decent ex should. Nothing major, she wouldn’t have liked him to just waste away to a husk without her or anything. They might be from Yorkshire, but this wasn’t Wuthering Heights. She just wanted a little jowl, or a clump of grey hair perhaps. A sign that he felt as utterly lovesick as she was. She’d been baking, crying and skiing like a madwoman all month. The fact that she had eaten half of what she made was a given. She’d even started making her own ice cream after she got sick of eating the low-fat stuff. The café customers loved it luckily. Between all the hand churning and the skiing, she’d managed to stay trim. Her hip didn’t ache any more. Being back on the slopes, trying to ski away her rage and heartbreak, she’d gotten her groove back. Her body responded to her better than ever before, and she felt herself smiling when she woke every morning. She was back. Those first ten glorious seconds when she woke, and she was a ski champion, living her life in the mountains. Then Luke puffed into her head, and she was back to crying, baking, eating and skiing. Sniffing the aftershave he left in the bathroom, and trying not to cry. Pathetic. The least he could do is look like he’d been mauled by a tiger or something.
‘Any more questions for me?’ she asked, when the conversation lulled. ‘I am so grateful to you guys for coming out, but I have a prior engagement.’ She went to stand, and most of the room stood with her. Waving them away, she gave a cheery wave to the cameras and headed off the stage. She headed towards the back, but Luke wasn’t where he was standing just a second before. Had he left?
She said hello to the guys on the door, walking out of the room and hearing the doors close behind her. The corridor was empty.
‘Looking for someone?’
She whirled back to the door, and there he was.
‘Yes. No.’
‘I don’t know anyone called No, sorry. Have you tried the front desk?’ His lip twitched. ‘Was it me?’
‘Who told you to come?’
‘No one told me to come, Becks. I came because I wanted to. Was it me, that you were looking for?’
‘Hans told you. Holly would ne
ver break the girl code, even with baby brain. I’m going to set his bloody beard on fire when my nephew is of age.’
‘Our nephew,’ he corrected softly.
‘Our nephew.’ She gave him that one.
‘And we own a sofa together. I like it.’
‘It is nice. How’s your dad?’
They could hear clapping behind them, and the shuffle of chairs and papers being moved around.
‘He’s not in hospital now. We’d better go.’
He held out his hand just as the doors opened, and Rebecca stopped as half the journalists in the room clocked the moment. She could see Andy give her a discreet thumbs-up behind his clipboard, and she turned and put her hand firmly in Luke’s. He squeezed it tight, his thumb stroking hers like two reunited swans.
‘Rebecca? Ice Rebel? Who’s the guy? A new ski partner? Can we have a name?’ A murmur was starting to buzz, they’d recognised Luke too.
‘A name, Rebecca?’
‘Is this your new man?’
‘Is he competing too?’
Luke was trying to walk her as briskly as possible out of the centre. ‘I’m sorry, oh I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t have left in the first place, but Dad … and I cocked it all up again. Jesus …’
He was looking at her as if she was going to go stellar on him again, and he was still trying to shield her from the reporters and rabble. Robbie would be there somewhere, enjoying every minute. Just feeling his hand in hers wasn’t doing enough to calm him down this time.
‘Let’s get out of here, we can get a cab and drive somewhere. Ditch them. I’ll fix it. Let me.’
Rebecca stood near the door, and turned around to face him, the small crowd slowing and surrounding them.
She grabbed his cheeks between her hands, and pulled him in for a kiss. He was still babbling away, but the second their lips met, he threw his arms around her, lifting her off the floor and kissing her with everything he had. When they finally came up for air, the crowd now loving every minute, clapping and whooping. The noise deafened them both.
‘Bubble,’ they said together, touching their foreheads together and laughing.
‘I’m sorry, Bec. And for leaving.’
‘You had to.’