* * *
“Is he your beau?” Lorna asked.
“No, he’s not. We’re just good friends.” She glanced over at John, who gave her an inquiring look, but she just smiled and shifted her gaze. She wasn’t about to answer any more questions about Teagan and her.
She grabbed fresh bandages and clean water and then she sat next to John on his bed. “How are you feeling today?” She put her hand on his head and smiled before she sat back. “No fever that’s always a good sign.” She took off his bandages, cleaned the wound, and then replaced the bandages with clean cloths. Her face heated as John continued to stare at her. “You didn’t answer. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling lucky and feeling blessed. Other than that, my leg hurts something awful but it could have been worse, much worse.”
She didn’t know what else to say, so she patted his hand, stood, and picked up the water and the soiled bandages. “Do you think you be all right in here if I go outside and do the wash?”
“I should be just fine, and if the little ones get in your way, just send them in to me.”
Gemma and Lorna got busy gathering the laundry. There was so much of it, but she supposed that was normal for a family that size. Lorna was doing her best. She hustled everybody outside into the fresh air. John Junior helped her drag the big washtub from the barn. They put it near the water pump to make it easier for them.
She made a fire and hung a bucket of water above it. As soon as it came to a boil, she poured the water into the washtub along with some lye soap. She put more water on to boil while she washed the first few clothes against the washboard. Lorna was watching every little detail, and Gemma explained as much as she could to her. After cleaning a garment against the washboard, she put it into another washtub they had cold water in. They continued changing out the hot water once in a while until the clothes were washed.
Next, they took the clothes one by one out of the cold water and wrung them as dry as possible. After that, they were put into a basket ready to be hung up on the clothesline. She saved the dirty diapers for last and used extra soap to make sure they got clean. Meanwhile, the boys ran around with Aubrey until they all looked like they are ready to drop.
“Clark, Martin, and Aubrey, why didn’t you go on inside and spend some time with your father? John Junior, be sure they don’t tire your father.”
“I’ll go into make sure there’s no trouble,” John Junior said.
Gemma nodded as she and Lorna took the clean laundry over to the clothesline. Gemma’s back ached, but she still needed to get all the sheets washed. Sweat ran from her forehead as the sun beat down on her. She stared up at the cloudless sky fighting a wave of dizziness. “I think we will do the sheets tomorrow.”
“Good, now you have more time to show me how to bake.”
Gemma smiled. “I think we’ll have a little rest first before we dive into baking. But we can go over the recipes together.”
Lorna smiled happily as they put their supplies away and then went inside. Gemma covered her mouth so as not to laugh when she saw the four other children all asleep with John on his bed. She put a finger to her lips, and Lorna nodded.
Gemma poured them both a cup of water, grabbed a box of recipes she’d found, and they went back outside and sat on the porch steps. They went through many before they decided on sugar cookies and the cinnamon bread. Lorna seemed more confident and not as frayed. They sat outside for a bit resting before they went back in. They sliced up bread and cheese for everyone to have for lunch and set it on the table with a towel over it to keep the flies off.
The children woke one by one and ate while Gemma and Lorna baked. Lorna enjoyed it until the house became too hot. The perils of a Texas summer, heat, flies, and mosquitoes. John Junior watched over the children and tended to his father while Gemma explained the concept of canning and preserving food for the winter.
Come next spring, I’ll stop by and help you plant your garden. It takes a lot of work, but there’s a great feeling when you eat food you grew yourself. Your ma must have planned ahead. I see many jars in the root cellar for this winter already. In a few weeks, we can go berry picking and then make jam and berry pies.
Teagan came in, all sweaty and dusty. He looked around and went back outside.
“What was that all about?” John asked.
“There isn’t a water pump inside for him to clean up at so he’s washing outside.”
John looked thoughtful as he nodded.
Teagan came back in looking much cleaner. “It smells wonderful in here. I bet Lorna’s been busy!”
“She sure has, and I’m sure you saw all the laundry drying outside.”
Teagan nodded as he gazed at Gemma. “It must have taken most of the day.”
“We’ve been busy. Supper will be ready soon. Why don’t you fill John in on your day?”
* * *
Teagan enjoyed talking to John, but he did not enjoy how much John watched Gemma. In fact, the more the night went on the more annoyed he got. John praised Gemma for her help and her cooking and how much she was teaching Lorna. It looked as though Gemma was lapping it up.
Didn’t John realize that Gemma was only here for the children, not for him? Teagan was sure he’d made his claim by kissing her on the cheek. Either John was a bit thick in the head, or he was purposely trying to get on Gemma’s good side.
After supper, Gemma helped Lorna with her sewing project. “You know so much for your age, Lorna. You are an amazing young lady.”
Lorna smiled brightly while Aubrey toddled over to Gemma and wanted to be picked up. The little girl snuggled against Gemma, and Gemma looked to be in heaven. John did have an edge; he had his children. Even Clark and Martin vied for her attention. John Junior stared at her as if in love. What Teagan wouldn’t give for a good old-fashioned fight with one of his brothers.
Sure, Gemma was beautiful and sweet and loving, but they didn’t need to take it all for themselves. They could at least share her. Teagan sat up straight in his chair. He was jealous and selfish. He wanted Gemma all to himself, but she didn’t feel that way about him. She didn’t plan to make a life with him. He’d lost her, and he hadn’t realized it. He’d have to get someone else to stay. He couldn’t take seeing them together, all of them together anymore.
He stood and grabbed his hat. “I need to check on my horse’s front right shoe. I’ll turn in after that. Good night.”
He left without one look at Gemma. He thought he was protecting his heart, but as he crossed the yard to the barn, he ended up feeling mean and not so proud of himself.
There was nothing wrong with his horse. He sat outside looking up at the stars. Life had certainly been anything but boring. Helping John Dew and his children had put a lot of plans aside. He still needed to confront Victor Lyons. The longer he thought about it, he seemed to recall a tale about a shipment of army gold going missing. Was that what they’d been after? Had someone said it was buried around here? He had never believed the story, but maybe it was true. Heck, he just wanted to go home and have a shot of whiskey.
He’d leave at first light and send someone in his place. If his horse was gone, Gemma wouldn’t worry. He’d leave a note, but he had nothing to write with. What was he going to do if Gemma married John? She’d said no widowers, but that was before John was injured. Now she’d had a real chance to get to know the man. She could explain to him how she didn’t want to be touched. He looked like an understanding man.
He’d been in this place with Gemma before, and his heart hurt just as much the second time. He’d have to find a way to get Gemma out of his heart for good this time.
Chapter Eleven
The barn was empty. She’d a feeling when Teagan hadn’t shown up for breakfast that he was gone. Her heart dropped. She must be the stupidest woman in all of Texas. She never got it right. Here, she’d thought Teagan was coming to love her but as soon as he saw that John was a nice man, he left her. She’d had hopes and dreams
tied up with him. Once again, she’d pictured what their children would look like because she was certain that one day, they’d be able to have them, that she’d be able to allow him to touch her. He had said he’d take the time and be patient. She’d actually believed it was possible for her to have a normal life.
Of one thing she was certain. She couldn’t marry John. She saw the error in her thinking. She liked him well enough, but she didn’t love him, and marriage was for a lifetime. His children could be hers, but love was something she craved. The love of a husband. She wouldn’t worry about where she’d go from here, she still had her home. All she really needed was a horse and maybe a dog. A dog would be good, though she liked cats. Maybe she could let some cats live in her barn. None of it would fill the hole Teagan had left in her heart, though.
* * *
A few nights later, Gemma sat reading Teagan’s Bible. Sighing, she touched the leather cover with the Kavanagh name imprinted on it. She opened it at the beginning for a change and saw the list of Kavanagh births through the generations. She traced Teagan’s name and touched Quinn’s when she came to Brogan’s someone had glued a strip of paper over the original entry and written Brogan’s name.
She sat back in the chair and closed her eyes. Brogan was her brother. He favored the Kavanaghs so no one would think otherwise. What had really happened back then? Had Mr. Kavanagh demanded his child or had her father truly demanded the baby be out from under his roof?
From the way her mother explained it, her father had gone to the Kavanagh house with the baby. What a mess! One woman whose heart broke when her child was taken and the other woman broken that she had to raise a child who wasn’t hers. Oh, Mama, what were you thinking? Someone must have talked about it. When she was in school, some children weren’t allowed to play with her, but that hadn’t mattered to her. She was more of a tomboy. Still, it had been a puzzle. Could that be the reason the funeral had been sparsely attended? A sudden thought sent ice through her veins. Did Brogan know? He was very hostile toward her, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.
Now she knew. Should she tell Teagan or keep it to herself? Brogan had a right to the ranch, but she didn’t care about that. Maybe Teagan’s mother didn’t have any love for Brogan just like her own mother didn’t have any love left for her. So sad. Did Dolly know? She wished she didn’t know. It had suddenly become a burden to carry.
If Brogan didn’t know, didn’t he have a right to know? If he didn’t know, did she have the right to upend his world? Maybe not. No, she’d sit on the information for a while. Telling Brogan would only give him another reason not to like her.
The next morning, she was surprised to see a wagon approaching the house. She wiped her hands and took off her apron to greet whoever it was. She recognized Teagan straight off, but she stiffened as she saw the pretty woman at his side.
She’d need to brace herself, and if only she’d known she could have prepared instead of suffering from the shock that went through her. He’d found a new woman awfully quick. She would not take his bait or give him the satisfaction of jealousy, though.
She smiled and waved. “Good morning, Teagan. Who have you brought for a visit this fine day?”
Teagan smiled as he got down from the wagon. He went to the other side of the wagon and helped the pretty dark-haired woman down. “Gemma, this is Lottie. She needs a job, and I suggested she might enjoy this one. That is, if you haven’t decided to stay.”
Lottie’s eyes widened. Teagan probably hadn’t told her she might not get the job.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Lottie,” Gemma said carefully.
Teagan climbed back up onto the wagon. “I have work to do. I’ll be back for supper.”
“Have a good day, Teagan!” Lottie beamed at him as she waved.
“Let’s go on in. I’ll introduce you to the Dew family.” Gemma led the way inside. “This is Miss. Lottie. She is here to take care of you.”
“No!” Martin yelled as he ran and took Gemma’s hand. Aubrey began to cry, but before Gemma could get to her, Lottie picked her up and bounced her.
Soon Aubrey smiled. “Mama?”
“I’m John Dew, Miss. Lottie. Would you mind if I talked to Miss. Gemma alone?”
“No, of course not. Children, why don’t you show me around outside?” Lottie helped them all to file out.
“I didn’t know anyone was coming, John. I guess Lottie needs the job, but if she’s not to your liking, I’ll stay until your healed.”
He nodded and gave her a wistful glance. “You wouldn’t think to stay beyond that?”
“My heart was taken when I was still young, and it hasn’t changed. I love the same man I’ve loved all my life. I wouldn’t have made a good wife, John.” She cleared her throat. “I—my—the man I married mistreated me, and now I don’t like to be touched. I thought a widower father wouldn’t want that part of a marriage since he already had children. I’ve recently concluded that a marriage should be filled with affection at least. I love your children, John, but I can’t picture you and me together.”
“I thought that was the way of things, but I had to be sure before I let go of you. There is much love and sweetness in you, Gemma.” He smiled widely. “Teagan is a lucky man.”
“No, Teagan and I are only friends.”
His smile widened and he shook his head. “Open your heart back up to him. I think you’ll find a love you never imagined possible. Lottie looks nice enough. Tell you what, if she turns out to be a shrew, I’ll send John Junior to get you.”
“It’s going to be hard to leave, but I understand what you’re saying. I need to give Teagan a chance if I can.”
“Did Lottie say where she was from or how she came to need a job?”
Gemma laughed. “I only met her a minute before you did. You’ll get your chance to ask questions.”
“I guess that’s true enough. I thank you for all you’ve done. Lorna is a different girl and John Junior has taken responsibility upon his shoulders. You did that. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I’d best go get the rest. It’s only polite to offer Lottie a cup of coffee before we show her all that needs to be done.”
* * *
It had been hard to keep his mind on ranching all day. What was Gemma doing? How was Lottie getting on? Did they like her enough to allow Gemma to go home with him? Lottie had been a mail-order bride who’d never became a bride. Her groom had died, and she hadn’t known it until she stepped off the stage. Luckily, Teagan had been in town yesterday.
He’d had a devil of a time keeping his brothers away from her. She was comely. She was interested right away when he told her John’s story. He’d also confided to her he wanted Gemma back. She agreed to help if she could. He took his hat off, ran his fingers through his hair, and then jammed his hat on again.
Would she be willing to go home with him or would he have to drive the wagon home alone? They needed to talk. Every time he thought he was getting close to her, they sprung apart. Too many secrets. He was waiting on a telegram, but he was almost positive her father had nothing to do with any gold. People swore it was stolen in Wilkes County, Georgia, that the wagon train was bushwhacked. If her father had stolen it, he’d never come home from the war. It wasn’t on Gemma’s property. He was sure her father was dead.
Her ranch was ready to go. She’d need to hire on a few men, and he already had those men working the ranch, but she needed to think it was her decision. That stubborn, loveable woman would drive him crazy.
He pulled up to the house. Would he have to talk Gemma into leaving? Would she refuse to go with him? He hadn’t thought about what to do with Lottie if this plan didn’t work out. Gemma was always in his thoughts. He needed to be strong and not allow the past to ruin their future. Would she tell him she didn’t love him as she had done before the war? It was quite the story about having a brother who was her brother too. Could they get past that?
Their families had gotten along well enough
until his father died. Then Gemma’s father came and went into the office with his mother. There was a lot of yelling, and he shooed everyone outside so they wouldn’t hear. He remembered he couldn’t find Brogan and then Mr. Maguire slammed out of the house screaming that nothing was going to change. Now he remembered seeing Brogan still inside. His brother had been upset, but he didn’t go to see Mother as he usually did, he grabbed his coat and walked out the back door.
Teagan wasn’t mature enough to think of going after him. But then again, he had no idea what his mother and Gemma’s father had quarreled about. Could it be Brogan? He was the most volatile of the Kavanagh brothers, and if Teagan had to pick one brother who, he thought might end up in jail he’d pick Brogan.
He wrapped the lines around the brake and climbed down off the wagon. First things first, he needed to see Gemma.
To his surprise, Gemma came outside carrying her bag. “Ready to go, Teagan? You look so surprised!” She smiled happily.
“I wasn’t sure,” he said in a low voice.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think since you left me here alone. I wouldn’t be able to abide John’s touch. He’s a very nice man, but I will need love too. I’m not sure it will ever happen for me. We live where the largest population nearby thinks badly of me. Not all but enough to dissuade a good man.” She averted her gaze. “I have land and that could be a draw, but frankly I’m not up to having a man touch me just so I can see if I can stand it. Maybe one day you or your brothers will have children, and I can be an honorary aunt to them or something.”
He hated the sadness in her voice. It tore at his heart, but he was afraid she’d reject him if he asked her to marry him. He took the bag from her and put it into the back of the wagon. Then he approached her slowly while staring into her eyes. Did she care for him? He couldn’t think about it. He leaned down and put his hands on her waist and helped her onto the wagon.
Teagan: Cowboy Strong: The Kabvanagh Brothers Book One Page 10