Invasion

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Invasion Page 14

by Dmitrii Mansurov


  "Want to go up?" Brontoquack asked.

  "A bit," the crow agreed.

  "We used to get rid of our enemies like this."

  "Meaning?"

  "Well, for example, some animal constantly bothers everyone and we're tired of it to death. It's grabbed and thrown up the air, and then it flies to the teeth willingly, unable to resist the singing."

  "Good solution!" the crow praised, imagining how she pulled the screaming fox from the tree, how the fox would beg to spare her, how she'd scream... And how the crow would laugh and repeat, 'You shouldn't steal someone else's cheese. Never ever do it again.'

  'But there's a problem."

  "Which one?"

  "Those who tried to do away with the enemy sometimes broke down and flew up themselves. Both died. So now no one else attempts to kill their enemies this way."

  The dreams faded.

  "Besides, the fox can't fly..." the crow muttered. The teeth resumed singing with increased zeal. The enchanting song turned into the polyphonic choir, with many voices overflowing and changing into one another.

  The crow felt dizzy from happiness. She understood that succumbing to the singing meant death, so she dug her beak into the branch and pretended that it was the fox's tail. Above her, the teeth were making the most attractive sounds in the universe. At this point, the crow's beak was holding the branch by itself. The rest of her was focused on the teeth, singing along with them or soloing. The song clouded her consciousness and it seemed like the happiest moment of her life came. The one worth dying for. Squeezing the branch tighter and tighter, the crow pierced the bark accidentally and some juice dripped down her beak. She swallowed and cursed. Her head cleared a bit. The desire to sing in the choir faded and gave way to the attempts to get rid of the nasty juice that kept coming and coming.

  The crow began to spit without unclenching her beak.

  "What are you doing?" she heard Brontoquack's voice.

  "S'itting 'uice!" the crow struggled to reply.

  "Huh?" Brontoquack didn't believe her. "Where did you get it? Wait, I get it! You bit through the branch!"

  "Yeah," the crowd confirmed.

  "Pumping your jaw?" Brontoquack was impressed.

  "Wah?"

  "Well, carrying various heavy things in your beak several times a day."

  "What's pumping got to do with it?" the crow spat out the branch. With dismay, she realized that the teeth were no longer singing. Instead, they were slurping, loudly and rudely. "They caught someone! I will live!!!"

  "We all will," Brontoquack said dispassionately. "Until we're eaten. I wonder who's the unlucky one?"

  Carefully, they poked their heads out of their shelter. The teeth were being arranged in a row. The first row was chewing food, then passing it to the next one and flying away. What had once been a living thing now resembled a ball of feathers painted with red. The teeth were clicking in satisfaction, and it seemed like this would never end. The rows of teeth were moving beyond the horizon, merging with the tops of the trees.

  "What a nightmare!" the crow whispered. "How many of them are there?"

  "A lot!" Brontoquack answered. "Enough to eat everyone!"

  "What a tiresome day today was," the crow muttered. "Let's take a break for a few... weeks... grrrrrr…"

  "Wow!" Brontoquack was deeply amazed. "I wish I could fall asleep like that!"

  The teeth fell silent, and the inhabitants of the forest gradually recovered.

  ***

  The peasants were no longer arguing. After learning the vampires were not to be trifled with, they gathered their things early in the morning, packed up, and moved towards the capital. Even fewer survivors were left among the yesterday's winners. The vampires had managed to bite most of the villagers, and the bitten ones burned in their beds with the first rays of sun. There were only eight people left.

  They looked sadly at the village, which had half-turned to ashes and was still emanating smoke in some places. Artem and Yaroslav wished them good luck and set off in the opposite direction to save the princess. No matter what troubles occurred, they couldn't forget about the main purpose of their trip.

  A few hours later, the princes crossed the border of the Quirky forest and slowed down. Everything here looked impossibly mysterious.

  "What a strange forest," Yaroslav said, surprised, looking around.

  "The ordinary Quirky forest," Artem noted. "Alena told me about it."

  "When did she manage to find a moment?" Yaroslav marveled.

  "As you and Babak were arguing about military strategy," Artem explained.

  "We discussed a lot of things," Yaroslav agreed. "I can't remember everything."

  "That's right."

  Artem had managed to give Alena his medallion. He promised to return immediately after the rescue of the princess to ask if Alena would agree to marry him. Ivan, as his future in-law, didn't mind. In fact, he was secretly planning to follow them and rescue the princess personally. His plans failed because of Babak, who re-focused his attention and got him interested in archery. Alena flushed in response to Artem's hints, said something vague, undefined, but not negative. That raised his spirits to the skies.

  The place where the princes wandered did not make them want to stay there for a long time, but hunger was getting vicious. That's why they had to stop in a tiny round clearing.

  The closer they got to Kashchey's castle, the quieter the forest became. It both pleased and disturbed them. On the one hand, the animal world of the Quirky forest was extremely unusual and tried to put its curious nose into the princes' bags. Or even grab something edible from there. The princes hadn't wanted to take Hunter with them. He could get lost here forever, but the dog had an opinion of his own, so he walked behind them step by step.

  The princes lit the fire and made some stew.

  "We're really away from home," Yaroslav began. Artem lay down on the grass and shrugged.

  "You know, the vampires worry me much more than Kashchey does. What if the capital is attacked?"

  "Slavnograd has a reliable system of security, and Babak must have told everyone the truth by now."

  "Yeah, but Yaga was trying to make her magic water for a reason. Those vampires are sheer monsters."

  "We have a creative ally, though," Yaroslav noted.

  "People just don't know how to be friends with her. Yaga is thousands of years old, so to her, all people are kids. You know, everyone would be moody if they were constantly surrounded by a kindergarten, with kids teasing and asking about all sorts of nonsense."

  A delicious smell from the pot gathered a lot of cunning faces around the clearing. They had all overcome their fear of the unknown and were peeking out from behind the leaves. The princes heard the noise and looked around in amazement. Everywhere they looked, those cunning faces peered out. Bushes and tree branches were almost breaking under their weight. And all the faces stared exactly at the pot with boiling soup.

  The small clearing was completely surrounded and looked like a wide well. It was like the most cunning of cunning cunningness was sitting around them. The faces were all identical. And everyone was smiling from ear to ear, or whatever they might have had in place of ears! The faces were simultaneously licking their lips, sniffing, and licking their lips again.

  Hunter bristled in response.

  "What do they want?"

  "I think they want to join us."

  "Or for us to join them," Yaroslav muttered. "As dinner."

  He put down his sword and removed the pot from the fire. The faces shifted.

  "Are you sure they'll let us eat in peace?"

  "Not at all. Get the spoons."

  Yaroslav lowered the spoon into the pot, ignoring the noisy exhalation of the licking faces, stirred the soup and began to eat. Artem sat nearby.

  "I can't eat like this," he said with his mouth full. "They stare in such a way…"

  Hunter calmly began to consume his meal, without waiting for it to get cooler.

/>   "The dog is wary of the competitors," Yaroslav noted. "Let's not waste our time either."

  The faces became agitated, seeing how quickly the soup was decreasing. Artem ate another spoonful when suddenly…

  ***

  The flight, oddly enough, was rather calm. No one tried to catch up with him, grab him, or eat him. The sparrow guessed that Kashchey's castle wasn't far, which meant his journey would be over soon.

  "What's that?" The sparrow saw a noisy bunch of cunning faces that surrounded some clearing and closely watched something happening there. It was obvious that they couldn't wait to rush forward, but they didn't dare and were only shifting their feet. The sparrow giggled, flew up to one of the faces, and pecked its tail with all his strength. The face jumped, mostly from surprise than from pain, but the deed was done. All the other faces followed the first one and in an instant, they attacked the princes. A big bunch of fighting faces surrounded them. But oddly enough, their expressions remained just as cunning.

  Yaroslav cried out loudly, trying to scare off the attackers, but the faces only smiled slyly and licked their lips carnivorously. A bad premonition rose inside him. The roar was incredibly loud. Those standing at the back were pushing those who managed to reach the pot. The loud slurping drowned out all other sounds. But when the suspicious sounds of metal scratching came, the crowd disappeared and fled in different directions. The silence seemed grave.

  Artem opened his eyes, exhaled and muttered, "What a blue sky! But the clouds are so heavy... It's going to rain."

  He found the crumpled cauldron that was gnawed into pieces, and without looking, he ran his finger over the teeth marks. Then his eyes widened. He stood up and brought the cauldron closer to his face.

  Through the holes, he looked at Yaroslav and expressed the general opinion, "Let's get out of here! It's dinner time soon."

  The princes mounted their horses. The leaky cauldron remained hanging on a tree branch. The sparrow flew up to it, intending to profit from the leftovers only to realize the faces had consumed everything.

  "Gluttons!" the sparrow muttered and flew after the princes. They must have some food. And if they rushed to the castle, it would be excellent. Maybe they'd kill Kashchey and then the Bully would live there forever, without having to fear the jokes of that Villain. But here was the question, what would he eat there? The sparrow suddenly felt a sharp longing for home.

  'Why did I listen to the fox?' he thought. 'No one saw my face, nobody knows I scared other sparrows, so why have I left? Home! I want to go home!.. Oh, fox! Your jokes are completely idiotic! That's it.'

  He turned around abruptly and flew back to his native forest.

  ***

  About midnight, there was a knock on the castle gates.

  "Are you expecting guests?" Kashchey asked.

  "I am," Maria said confidently and looked at him suspiciously. "Aren't you?"

  "I am," Kashchey agreed. "But it's not them. It's someone else. You stay here. I'll check what kind of reckless fool decided to show up. Interesting that he didn't get scared of his mirror reflection."

  "And you said all the travelers would have a heart attack!"

  "Exceptions confirm the rules."

  "Hah, and what if the exceptions prevail?"

  "Then this is the real rule that everyone likes to break!"

  The knocking resumed, getting harder. The thunder broke the sky apart. The lightning flashed through the window, and another rumble shook everything.

  "Don't like to get wet, do we?" Kashchey grinned. "You won't melt, whoever you are."

  Kashchey met the traveler with flowers in his hands. As soon as the gates opened, the flowers flew back at the guest along with the pot. The person made an uncertain sound and sneezed from the pollen. Kashchey studied him curiously and realized that now he may die in peace. There was nothing more amazing he'd ever witnessed in his life.

  The stranger had a huge head. His wings were folded behind his back, canines were protruding from his mouth, and his fingers had giant claws.

  The guest stopped sneezing. He looked at Kashchey and growled, "This castle is mine!"

  "You wish, scarecrow!" Kashchey answered. "You belong in the garden, scaring the crows."

  "Do you have any idea who I am?"

  "I already told you who you are," Kashchey shrugged. "And if you disagree, then give me your version."

  "I'm the Lord of Vampires!"

  "Cool," Kashchey agreed. "But what does it mean?"

  "I…"

  "Yes, you! Calm down already and say something actually relevant."

  The vampire swung and struck him in the solar plexus with his mighty fist. The rumble caught the sound of the blow, carrying it across the surroundings. Kashchey didn't even shift. The vampire's face contorted.

  "Ahhh!" he yelled. His mouth fell wide open, exposing his terrible fangs. The vampire pressed his fist to his stomach and temporarily disconnected from reality.

  "What ill-mannered nervous wrecks of guests!" Kashchey was indignant. "The Lord of Vampires... What kind of vampires? Vampires... vampires... Ah! Vampires! The family of blood-sucking bats! Wow, that bat has certainly gotten huge! Hey, bat, what were you feeding on? I want that, too!"

  "Ahhh!" the vampire yelled again, feeling that the hand he'd used to punch Kashchey was about to lose all sensations in it. If not forever, then for ten years for sure. Kashchey shook his head. From the darkness, an approaching crowd emerged. Kashchey narrowed his eyes. At first glance, these were ordinary people... but not really. At second glance, it became clear that they were like their leader, who was still screaming his boring "ahhh". The crowd began to move faster, and Kashchey realized that if he didn't close the gates now, he wouldn't close them ever again.

  "Wow!" he muttered. "They don't know who I am! This is better than putting all the palace guests to sleep! What backwoods did they even come from?"

  The gates slammed shut in front of their noses, so the vampires pounded against the doors, roaring and hissing.

  "Stop it! Or you'll regret it!" Kashchey shouted, pressing his back to the shaking gates. Nothing changed. Kashchey shrugged. "I did warn you..."

  He opened the electrical panel and switched one of the levers to the "on" position. There was a deafening explosion on the street. White lights sparkled dazzlingly, illuminating a third of the planet. The walls shook, the windows cracked in some places, the lamps flickered, and pieces of ceiling began to crumble. A strong ozone smell filled the air. The electroshock he'd preserved for uninvited guests had just been discharged by letting out the energy it kept accumulating for over four thousand years.

  The knocking and growling stopped.

  Kashchey waited a bit and then peered out from behind the gates, curious to see what happened to his guests. The clearing had turned into a flat field covered with gray ash. The first vampire, who was decently blackened, remained in the same crooked position, though he wasn't uttering anything any longer. The other vampires had been simply erased from the face of the earth, leaving only tiny particles of ash behind. The trees disappeared for several miles around, as if they'd never been here. The foliage of the surrounding woods was torn.

  "You okay?" Kashchey asked sympathetically. The figure muttered something and fell to the ground. "Wow! What a tough guy! Almost like me!"

  The gates slammed shut.

  Half an hour later, Kashchey restored the situation in the main hall, mainly by calming the frightened princess.

  "What happened? Did the sky fall?"

  "No, just some ugly mug."

  "And it was that loud?"

  "Ugly mugs are always loud!"

  "You didn't let them in, of course."

  "Naturally. He wants to take over my castle…"

  "He?"

  "Yes, he! The ugly mug!.. Wow! Look, he's climbing the windows! He's recovered quickly."

  The vampire climbed on the windowsill and angrily kicked the unbreakable glass. He didn't expect the recoil, so he fell right dow
n, waving his wings but unable to remain in the air because of the increased gravity.

  "Ahhh!" they heard.

  "We've heard that one before!" Kashchey shouted indignantly.

  "Did he crash?" Maria gasped.

  "Why would he? Those like him don't crash! He's tenacious like every other parasite. Like me," Kashchey explained and opened the window. Glancing at the vampire and making sure he's still alive, Kashchey shouted, "Wait, I'll bring you a nice little souvenir!"

  He ran away and soon came back with a black balloon about half a meter long.

  "Get ready for a small explosion," Kashchey announced, pressed the only button on the ball and threw it into the street. It fell to the ground next to the vampire. "Now run!" Kashchey shouted, shutting the window with a loud bang. "It's a humming bomb! It's going to howl in a way that'll raise the dead! It'll last for three hours!"

  "What?!"

  "Uuuuuuuggggg!" the bomb hit their ears with its almost unearthly decibels. Maria tried to imagine what the vampire felt like, but it was difficult to think. The howling was unbearable. After making a few steps toward the door, she swayed and fell unconscious.

  When she came to her senses six hours later, she discovered herself in the same room with the strange name of "Central control". Kashchey was sitting in the chair, clicking on something enthusiastically. Noticing that the princess woke up, he gave her some water and happily said that after running through the corridors back and forth, he'd gotten lost. After another turn, he came across what he'd been looking for by accident.

  "That's one powerful bomb!" he said, either stating the fact or showing off, or maybe empathizing with the vampire. "I hope our guest doesn't come to us again. Of course, if after that sound attack his brains are intact. You know what? I learned a lot of interesting things. You rest for a while."

  He flicked the switches and pressed various buttons, checking what would happen, memorizing the result while leveling everything that stood a little above the ground in the vicinity of the castle. He finished only when the tops of the towers let out bright rays into the sky and the planet Phaeton appeared between Mars and Jupiter, along with its asteroid belt.

  "I'm powerful!" Kashchey summed up. "I'm so powerful it's scary to think about it!"

 

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