by Bane, Lucian
At hearing the fear and shame in his voice, Sade gave in. “I’ll ask again.”
“Beg her. I’ll owe you big.”
“Fine, it’s a deal.”
Sade walked out just as Liberty headed his way. She halted abruptly and looked down. “Sade!” she whined.
He followed her gaze down to the blood seeping out of his bandages, through his tube socked feet. Bo was officially fucked.
“In. Bed. Now. I will dress them as soon as I’m done,” she said with a tone of thanks a lot Mr. I’ll help. She shook her head and headed to Bo’s room, leaving Sade to stare at Mercy’s closed door.
He wanted to know what Liberty had discovered, and yet didn’t want to ever know. Everything in him said it was bad. Bad, bad, bad. It whispered with every boom in his aching head. He went to his room to wait for Liberty, only to realize waiting was nowhere in the vicinity of his ability. To avoid a confrontation with the doc, he went to his bathroom and cranked on the hot water, rummaging through supplies in the closet next to it. He’d get the foot doctoring started.
When the bath was full, he sat on the edge and slowly sank into it, keeping his feet out. Fucking shoulder didn’t like that. He gritted his teeth at the pain. Fuuuuck. Was Bo’s and Mercy’s feet this bad? He hated to think they hurt like this.
As he laid there, he made himself deal with what was about to come. No matter how he spun it in his mind, it always landed on the same dreadful thing. Mercy not remembering him. For some reason, somehow, that filthy idea was dangerous. Dangerous for him. But that’s what he was up against and he needed to be ready. He slowly closed his eyes and sank lower into the hot water.
Fucking ready… he’d be ready. He’d help her however she needed. Always. It was his turn to play healer and angel. He couldn’t fail her.
God, he was fucking terrified.
Chapter Eight
Mercy’s insides jolted at the sound of a knock on her door. All she could think was, is it him? She’d been unable to get the huge man out of her mind. She tried to remember things, order things in her head. They wouldn’t stay put. Everything was running together. Whoever it was knocked again, and she stared at the door trying to remember what she should say. Even common words evaded her. “Hello,” she called, her voice breaking. Not hello. “Come in.”
The door opened and her heart raced at seeing it was him. On crutches. She felt herself become a little… less something. But as he got closer, the less something changed to something else that made her grip the covers tight. He was so big. She waited for her brain to remember him. Anything about him, something to ease her fears. Why did she feel like that? Her body seemed to be that with him, and she was sure it had a reason. But the lady said they were… a couple. Mercy hadn’t even known what that meant when the lady told her. She found out it meant intimate. How could that be if she was scared? How did that woman know that? She didn’t know the woman, not now or before. So she wasn’t even sure how much of what she said was true. Or accurate. There could be things the woman thought she knew and didn’t.
She needed to ask more things. Questions. Mercy had been given the gist and this guy would give her the rest. She felt like a puny human asking Nimrod the details.
“Is it okay if I sit?” he asked.
His voice made her stomach flip. She remembered nodding meant yes, and gave a small one. She watched his every move. Especially the ripple of muscles in his arms and shoulders, promising strength she didn’t want to see in action. The clingy black muscle shirt left nothing to the imagination, and between his body and the tattoos covering it, she was riveted.
She glanced at his face and found his eyes locked on her, making her jump inside. His eyes were gray and bright. Maybe silver flecks in them. She wanted to glance away but needed to stare longer. Study. That’s what it was called. She was gaining word memory at least. But so much was still just… blank. It was really, really strange.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said.
Again his voice spoke to her body in ways she didn’t like. She clutched the pillow tighter in her lap and remembered she was supposed to answer him. “I’m sorry… I don’t remember.”
Concern marked his brow. “You don’t remember the incident?”
It was her turn to be confused. “Incident?” She shook her head not remembering what that word meant. “What’s… a fucking incident?”
“It just means something that happened,” he said cautiously. “It’s okay that you don’t remember. It’ll return any minute.”
“I meant… I’m sorry I don’t remember you. I know that I should. She did say it’ll come back.”
“Yes, it will.”
Her gaze got stuck on his mouth. Something about it. She waited for a memory, but she felt like it wouldn’t be a good one, by the way her body felt. Erratic. Confused. The tip of his tongue swept over his lower lip and she gasped from the surge of feelings it gave her.
“So I was thinking…” he said.
She looked into his eyes now.
“Maybe… I can help you remember.”
“How?” she barely managed, afraid of his answer.
“If you… let me touch you.”
Her head shook of its own accord before she could even think.
“Okay,” he hurried. “No rush. She just said touch might help.”
“My body… is…” She swallowed, searching for the right words that matched what she felt. “Is not… connecting you in a… good way.” And the fuck word seemed to spring to mind a lot. Was she a foul-mouthed person before?
His gaze narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I just…” Her heart raced at the hardening of his tone. “… you…”
Somebody knocked on the door and she jerked her head to it.
“Who is it?” Sade called. The bite in his voice made her stomach race with energy.
“Bo.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “Come in.”
The door slowly opened and he came through in a wheelchair. “Mercy!” he smiled brightly. “You’re awake. It’s about time.”
She stared at him. She obviously knew him and yet didn’t. Fear and disappointment slithered through her at how much she didn’t remember.
“It’s okay if you don’t remember me,” he said, seeming happy to see her. “I’m sure you will, in like five minutes after you see how awesome I am. I’m Sade’s brother.”
He stopped next to Sade and she was aware of those intense gray eyes on her, watching her reaction. “Bo,” she said, wishing something would come. “I feel like… we were friends.”
He gasped a happy laugh and pushed on Sade’s shoulder. “She remembers me!”
Mercy was sure it was a joke, but the way Sade lowered his head said he either didn’t get it or didn’t find it funny.
“I’m sorry,” she said, but wasn’t sure why, only felt it. For something.
He raised his gaze to hers and shook his head barely. “Nothing to be sorry for, Angel.”
Her heart pounded her chest at the angel term and how it made her feel… weird. Scared? Out of breath.
“I think you… scare me.” She was immediately sorry she said it, remembering some things shouldn’t be said out loud. “I’m… I’m having trouble knowing what things are okay to say and what to call them. I feel them but I don’t know exactly what it is and why. How long have we been together?” she asked, wishing she could make her mouth stop.
He sat forward with that. “About… a month. Give or take a few days.”
Alarm hit her with that. “A fucking month?” That’s it?”
He suddenly looked like somebody who didn’t get a joke. “It doesn’t sound like a long time but… it was a good month. A lot happened.”
A month? She couldn’t get over the short time. How could intimacy possibly develop so soon? “Maybe… you can tell me about it.”
“How’s our sleeping beauty?” The lady called Liberty came in with a tray of food.
“I fe
el good.”
“She looks fucking amazing,” Sade muttered.
Mercy looked at Sade, her stomach jerking hard at the way he said fucking. Like she’d heard it before during… something that made her feel light headed. She parted her lips to get more air, not liking the way he made her feel. Something had happened. Something not good, she was sure. A month and they were intimate? Not possible. No way.
Liberty set the tray on the bed and picked up the notebook on the table. “You still adding to the list of everything you remember?”
She chanced a look at Sade, feeling him staring. “Yes.” His eyes were burning into her. She looked at Bo and he gave her a half grin that made her insides relax a little. He was nice. She felt that. Her body seemed to remember him, just not her mind. Same with Sade. Her body remembered just not her mind. Yet.
“Oh, nice. You remember most of your childhood, I see.”
Mercy looked at her. Most? She only recalled from thirteen to her early twenties and stopped at her going to nursing school. She couldn’t remember anything else. Did she have a family? Sisters? Brothers? Aunts, uncles? Mother, father, grandparents? Her stomach knotted at all the possible things she didn’t remember. She flicked her eyes toward Sade, only letting him in her peripheral vision. One month. Give or take. No wonder she didn’t fucking remember shit.
“How do you know me again?” she asked the woman.
“It’s my job to know you.”
The odd answer made her feel more lost and scared. “I never did find out what that job was?”
“To watch over you.”
“Why?”
“To keep you safe.”
“From… from what? Do I live here? And where is here, did you tell me that? I don’t remember if you did. Is-is my memory getting worse or better, can you tell yet?”
“Whoa missy. Some questions aren’t for me to answer.”
“You’re not allowed to answer some? Am I in trouble or something?” She looked at Sade, her fears raising. “Have I done something bad?”
But all she got from him was that pensive look that made her need to ask him to leave the room.
“Is this normal?” Sade asked Liberty now. “She remembers, she forgets, she remembers?”
Emotion slammed Mercy until tears stung her eyes. “I’m fucking trying,” she gasped.
He jerked to her, concern on his face. “Baby, I’m not saying you’re not trying,” he said softly. It was like he’d walked over and touched her inappropriately. Jesus she didn’t understand this.
“I don’t….” she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “I feel things and… I don’t like them. They make me feel bad.”
“Like what?” The lady asked.
“Can I… can I talk to you?” She looked at the woman with silent pleading. “Alone?”
“You heard her guys. Out. Girl talk.”
When they were finally alone, the woman sat on her bed. “Talk to me.”
“He scares me,” she whispered, feeling like she needed to be quick.
“Sade?”
Mercy nodded. “How do you know we were intimate?”
She seemed to think about that and sighed. “Listen, I can’t answer a lot of your questions right now but don’t worry, they’re not bad answers. Just not answers I can give.”
“I don’t care about that so much, I care about him,” she glanced at the door. “Every time he’s around me, I get… scared.”
“Sweetheart, listen. There’s a lot going on with your body and mind, remembering connections while forming new ones. I wouldn’t put too much trust in how you feel at this point. Sade is a good guy, he’d never hurt you.” She put her hand on Mercy’s arm, reassuring. “You’re safe here, I know that. Ask him whatever you want. If he’s a problem, I’ll deal with it. But he’s not.”
“You’ll deal with him?” She flicked a thumb at the door. “Did you see him? He’s Goliath.”
After a few contemplative moments she said, “I tell you what.” Her dark eyes darted to the door then back to her. “You keep notes on all those feelings. You remember anything you think I need to know about, let me know on the down-low, okay? But until then, I want you to trust me.”
Would be hard when she didn’t even know her.
“How do you feel about Bo?”
“I like him, I think he’s good.”
“Then maybe you can talk to him about memories?”
She nodded, biting her thumbnail. “You think he would?”
“He does seem to dig you.”
“Can you ask him to come in?” She grabbed Liberty’s arm. “Don’t… don’t tell Sade what we talked about. Until I can sort through everything. I don’t want to upset him if I’m wrong.” That wasn’t entirely true. She didn’t want him knowing, in case her hunch was right about him and he might go whacko on her.
“You got it.” She got up and left the room and soon after, Bo came in.
“Heyyyy Mercy,” Bo said happily, rolling himself in.
She waited till he stopped and looked him over, taking more time than she did before, now that Sade wasn’t there to distract her. Dear God, what fucking happened to him? Despite the large bandage on his cheek and the cuts down both sides of his face, he was very handsome. The easy kind of handsome that made you happy and want to smile. Not like Sade. He had the kind of look that sucked you in so hard, you forget how to breathe and think, forgot what words ever meant.
“You remember everything?” she asked.
He gave a slow smile like he was getting her unintended pun. “I have all my memory, why?”
“What do you know about… Sade?”
His brows shot up with a kind of surprised joy. “Everything pretty much.”
“What about… me and him?”
He gave a chuckle. “Aw man, he loves you. A lot.”
She waited for the words to do something good, but they didn’t, they only gave her all those feelings that made her scared. And confused. How could he love her in one month? “How did we meet?”
“You and Sade?”
“Yes.”
It was his turn to furrow his brows and glance at the door. “Well… you stopped Jay from beating him up.”
“Who is that? Where?”
“Just a friend. It was at the Black Velvet, a nightclub Sade’s father owns.”
Nightclub. What was she doing at a nightclub? “So he was glad I saved him?”
Bo grinned. “No. He was pissed at you.”
Pissed? “Why?”
Again he looked back at the door and rolled closer to the bed. Mercy was glad no alarm bells went off with the close proximity. “See, every year he makes one of us beat him up. On the anniversary of his mother’s birthday,” he whispered. “She died when he was four and for some reason that none of us really know, he blames himself. Well that’s my theory. Why else would he do that?”
She suddenly felt like she was crossing lines. “Are you supposed to be telling me this?”
He shook his head with wide eyes and Mercy glanced at the door again before barely whispering, “What else?”
His face softened as he went on. “Sade’s had a really bad life. After he lost his mother, his father was a ruthless motherfucker to him, raised him to fight and kill. Sade isn’t your average man, he’s… well he’s sadistic.”
She drew back, trying to remember that term. “Sadistic… he likes hurting people?” Her heart raced into her stomach. Something about that jogged her memory, her body’s memory at least.
“I can’t say he likes it, he just does it. He also likes getting hurt.” Another quick glance at the door before he leaned in. “Anyway, after that incident behind the Black Velvet, you showed up at his tattoo parlor.”
“He does tattoos?”
“Yeah, and so you came in to have a tattoo done.”
“I did? Where?” She looked down on herself.
“You never got it. I found out you were the one who had stopped him from getting beat up and so w
e thought you were an undercover cop.”
She stared at him amazed and confused, waiting for memory. “Am I?”
He shook his head with a smile that said the event had been humorous to him. “Not, hardly.”
“Then what was I doing? Did I actually like him?” She couldn’t believe she’d do something like that, even if she did like him. Had to be a legitimate reason. She was pretty sure she wasn’t that kind of person, judging by the memories she did have.
A loud knock on the door made them jump. “Bo, can I talk to you?”
“Shit,” he whispered, wheeling in reverse.
“Are you scared of him?” Mercy asked.
“Uh, kinda, yeah.”
“Why?”
“Coming,” he called before looking at her. “He’s killed a lot of people—”
“He has?” she gasped alarmed. He’d said that, but she hadn’t taken it literally.
“I gotta go. Ask Sade what you want to know, he’ll tell you anything, I’m sure. He loves you, I know that much.”
He gave her a wink and rolled out while Mercy drew her legs up and held them tight to her chest, willing the vomit down. The giant came in then. Even on crutches he was scary. My God, killed people? She believed that. Easy. What the hell had she gotten herself into with this man? She tried to remember if she’d been on drugs or something. She suddenly froze, her spine turning ramrod. “Oh my God,” she whispered.
He stilled a few feet near the bed. “What?”
“My dad! My dad died!” Her mouth hung open and she gasped several times as the horrific memory avalanched through her. Tears filled her eyes as dense pain stole her breath. She grabbed her chest with both hands when the pain became unbearable, then jerked back when Sade attempted to sit next to her.
He held up both hands. “I just want to hug you,” he said, sounding desperate.
She shook her head and covered her mouth. “Sorry, I can’t. Yet.”
He moved to the chair and sat. “Don’t apologize, take your time.”
“Ohhh my God,” she gasped. “I can’t fucking believe this. I can’t believe this.” She looked at him and nodded. “And I’m crying over a fucking death I already fucking mourned like I never mourned it before, this is fucking crazy!”