After his last bite, Requiem took a sip of water to wash it down, and then did something that Cores were well known for if they thought they could get away with speaking—being blunt. “Forgive my forwardness, but why do you care so much? Beyond official protocol, that is.”
Damion looked up, eyes wide and jaw dropped. “I ah… don’t know.”
“If you do not know, then why do so? It is illogical.” Requiem wiped his hands on a napkin before looking up at Damion, meeting his gaze.
“Life isn’t like a computer.” Damion fumbled for the correct words to explain. “I just feel the way I do, and I can’t help it.”
Requiem continued to look at him for a moment. Finally, he looked down to his empty plate, cleaning everything up so it fit on one tray, and then tipped it into the trash compactor attached to their table. “The transport is leaving in approximately thirty minutes. I advise that if we wish to arrive in time, we leave now.” His voice was cold and mechanical, his gaze on the table.
“You’re probably right there.” Damion stood, took Requiem’s clothes bag, then offered his free hand to Requiem.
Because it was as good as an order, Requiem took Damion’s hand in his own, but pretty much his whole body had gone rigid. It was as if the life had gone out of him, like he had reverted back to what he was before Damion came into his life. After all, for all intents and purposes, he was a computer. A living, breathing computer, and that was his purpose. He wasn’t supposed to feel, have emotion, or anything else that generally brought out natural humanity and life in other people. This was who he was, or at least what he was meant to be.
Chapter Eleven
Requiem
DAMION WALKED with Requiem to the waiting platform. They ignored all the odd looks people gave them. Whether it was merely the sight of a Core or of Damion holding his hand, Requiem didn’t know or care. He was not surprised to see Juni running in with 108 only seconds before the boarding bell rang.
“How can you let him be late?” Damion asked 108 jokingly.
108’s gaze flicked to Requiem before it lowered to the ground. “I informed Fighter Juni of the deadline, but he insisted that his pace was acceptable. I believe, despite my warnings, that he lost track of time.”
“Ah, don’t blame him! I was showing him the cool vids they play in the bars.” Juni laughed and nudged his Core forward as the line to the ship began to move.
Damion rolled his eyes. “You mean you were getting drunk before we left.”
“Fighter Juni consumed approximately three bottles of the high alcohol content Butterfly beer in quick succession before we left the establishment,” 108 reported as he shuffled forward.
The two Cores were again between the Fighters, with Damion in front, still holding Requiem’s stiff hand. 108 was behind Requiem and Juni was at the rear. Requiem kept his head down, letting Damion’s movements lead him.
“You’re not supposed to nark on me,” Juni bemoaned as they moved forward.
“You should know better,” Damion said. “Or at least brought me one, you bastard.”
“You know we’re not allowed to have drinks in public except in bars,” Juni said to Damion’s back. “Though these two would be fun drunk.”
“We are not allowed to consume any inhibiting substances,” 108 said quietly. Requiem had ceased all communication. 108’s words were hesitant but informative. “As for ‘narking’ on you, per se, if Cores believe that our Fighters have put themselves at less than full capacity, we are encouraged to report it for safety’s sake.”
“We’re not going anywhere to fight, nor are we expected to,” Juni answered petulantly
“I think your Core is smarter than you,” Damion teased. “Let’s just get to our cabin.”
“Yeah, and nap the rest of the way!” Juni seemed excited for a long sleep, but after eating and drinking, it wasn’t a big surprise to anyone.
They finally made it to their rooms, which were small, but big enough to hold necessities for two people to sleep.
“It is true that you are not scheduled to fight, but not everyone is here on leave and the potential threat of being attacked is 15 percent. It is wise not to drink, currently,” Requiem whispered, only loudly enough for Damion to hear as they entered their room. His eyes stayed focused on the ground, hidden by the fall of his shock of white hair, but he was still very observant even through the thin barrier.
He waited until Damion walked into the room first, letting Damion lead him by the hand.
Damion yelled out the door for Juni to keep his ass in his own room for the rest of the trip, before letting go of Requiem’s hand. “What’s wrong?”
Requiem didn’t speak for a moment, his head still down. He couldn’t lie to Damion—it was almost physically impossible—but he knew the truth would only start an argument. So he gave him truth without really telling him anything. “You will not want to hear it. It will only make you angry.” He walked over to sit on one of the beds without looking up.
Damion rubbed his hands through his hair and sat down on the small bed next to him. “Requiem, please, it’s been a long day already for both of us, and it’s not over with yet. But ever since we ate, you’ve been different.”
“Then I shall not make it longer by making you upset,” Requiem retorted quietly but coldly.
“Stop that!” Damion snapped and glared at him. “Talk normal, damn it! When you sound like that, it… it gets on my fucking nerves.”
Requiem finally looked up. “And that is the point. I do not talk in a way that you perceive normal because I am not that way. You feel, because that is who you are, how you are. I do not, because that is how I am, who I am. I am the computer that you are not. Therefore I do not understand why you feel the way you do, nor could I ever. You do not seem to understand that. Unlike others, yes, you do see me as human, as living and breathing, and you do not understand how I cannot feel or have emotions the way you do.”
He lowered his head again, breaking the hold his gaze had on Damion’s dark, warm eyes. “So perhaps you are at a disadvantage that other Fighters do not suffer from. You see me as human, and it makes you confused because you do not understand the way I am. While others treat Cores accordingly: as the computers and machines that we are.”
This could as well be one of the longest speeches Requiem had ever given.
“You’re not a computer! I treat you like a human because you are one! You do have feelings!”
Damion was probably yelling because he truly felt that his Core was a flesh and blood human being and not some tool. Damion was disgusted and angry at Requiem for not taking a stand and insisting on his own humanity.
Requiem couldn’t help but wince at the fury in Damion’s voice, and he leaned slightly away from him. “You said yourself that, for you, life is not like a computer. For me, it is. It’s all I know and all I have ever known and probably all I ever will know. The feelings I may have currently are marginal, and even I do not understand them, nor was I ever meant to. You cannot change the way I am, just as I cannot change the way you are.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right.” Damion still sounded angry, but his posture relaxed. “You’re right, we are… what we are.”
“I am sorry that I am not what you wish me to be,” Requiem replied quietly, relaxing as he realized what had cooled Damion’s fury. Even if he didn’t understand it, he could see the hurt in Damion’s eyes from Requiem’s ingrained reaction. Requiem tentatively licked his lips, lowering his head even more. “I also do not wish to hurt you or make you feel pain. I… know you will not cause me harm, Damion. My trust is something that I am working on and will try and expedite the process.”
“You’re fine. It’s not you.” Damion dry washed his face. “You’re the best. I’m only trying to force you to be something you’re not, and maybe it’s time for me to stop that.”
“I am not helping the situation either. I wish to understand you and your emotions, and perhaps that is not something I should be a
ttempting to do. You are only doing what you perceive to be the best for me, while I am looking out for both of us.” Requiem leaned forward for a moment, hesitated, and then continued until he took Damion’s hands in his own. “I belong first to the Creators and the Chrysalis Corporation. I am completely owned by them, and while my loyalty is to them, my primary loyalty is to you. This in itself is dangerous enough. I am able presently to suppress these changes. If I start to experience a full array of emotions, start to act even more different from other Cores than I already do, they will take action. Not only will you be reprimanded and ejected from service, I will more than likely be wiped and installed into the ship’s systems.”
A knock on the door interrupted anything more that Requiem might have said.
“Everything all right in there? We heard shouting, and 108 is as jumpy as an acrobatic cat on a trampoline.”
“We’re fine.” Damion patted Requiem’s hands. “Sorry. Just arguing with him about sports. Go to bed, you drunk.”
“Right. Sports,” Juni replied. And then from farther away Damion heard “Sports, my ass” as Juni left.
Requiem tentatively tried to pull his hands away, his gaze flicking to the door and then back to their hands, but knew that Damion wouldn’t give up what he had achieved.
“Requiem.” Damion said his name in a low voice. “I won’t let them kill you. It makes me a bit happy you actually worry about me, but remember I can take care of myself.”
Requiem looked straight into Damion’s eyes as he said the name Damion had given him. Requiem could see the seriousness in his eyes and he knew that Damion truly meant what he said. “I know you will not let them do anything. But they will do it nonetheless. Besides that, it is part of my function to… worry about you. As I am your responsibility, you are mine.” He paused, licking his lips unconsciously, his gaze not breaking from Damion’s. “But I do not just… worry… about you because it is my function. I wish for you to know that.”
Damion had a smile from ear to ear. “That makes me even happier to hear. Then we can just act normal the rest of the trip.”
Requiem tried to make his lips mimic Damion’s but failed. The facial motions weren’t familiar to him, so he stopped after a moment. Seeing Damion’s grin caused an odd feeling in his chest that he wasn’t familiar with. “That depends on your perception of normal. My normal seems to upset you.”
“Ah, but you’re my Core, so I don’t mind.” Damion let go of Requiem’s hands. “Now let’s rest. I think you’ll be overstimulated when we land.”
Requiem opened and closed his hands, feeling as if he had lost something for some reason, and his gaze dropped to them in puzzlement. He spoke in a low whisper. “Damion… could I request something of you? I know it is not my right, but….”
“No, it’s fine, go ahead.” Damion’s eyes were open.
Once again Requiem licked his lips. It was becoming a small nervous gesture, and while he was aware of it, he couldn’t stop doing it. He looked up, his eyes and face hidden by the fall of snowy hair. “I do not have the right to ask this, but… whatever happens, please… do not leave me and… and protect me to the best of your abilities. Please do not allow them to take me away from you. Whether the reason is my own miscalculations or a machination of their devising, protect me, and I will attempt to protect you in my own way.”
“All right. I’ll have to keep you around until I’m killed either in battle or protecting you,” Damion said with an air of happiness, but also with seriousness.
Requiem stood, going to the bag of clothing to pull out a pair of sleep pants Damion had bought him. They were very soft black cotton pants that looked stark against his pale skin. “That is the only length of time I would ask of you, for if you die, I will die as well.” He stripped out of his current clothes without any hint of modesty and folded them neatly, placing them back in the bag before pulling on the sleep pants.
“Why would you die if I die?” Damion asked.
“Because it is the truth. For example, if you die in battle, I will more than likely be with you. Therefore we will both be terminated. Another, if you perish while I am not around, no matter how valuable my knowledge may be, I am considered a liability to the Corporation. While my body may still be kept functional, my mind will more than likely be wiped and I will be connected to the ship’s main server, never to regain consciousness. So my consciousness will be terminated.” Requiem turned back to Damion, his arms relaxed at his sides.
“That doesn’t scare you at all?” Damion frowned at Requiem.
“I do not feel fear the way you do,” Requiem replied, walking back over to sit next to Damion on the small bunk. “I am not afraid, as you say, to die. I think I am more… afraid of merely existing. Existing trapped within my own mind or not having any mind at all. Of being a drone, a true computer to be used and thrown away. But death, no. Not at all.”
“What is your goal in life?” Damion threaded his fingers behind his head and lay back, looking at the metal ceiling above them.
“My goal?” Requiem parroted, blinking as he looked over at Damion. He was silent for a few minutes, thinking about it—or really thinking about how to put it into words. “To be the best and continue being so. And not… and not follow along blindly. To not be a victim because I do not know any other way of life. And continue to think independently and create, understand, and invent devices to make myself and all other Cores safer whether they know it or not.” His gaze flicked to Damion’s face nervously, gauging his reaction, wondering if he had overstepped his bounds.
Damion chuckled, rubbing his neck. “That sounds like something you would say, but it’s a lot nobler than mine. I want to survive. Isn’t that sad? I didn’t want to do the Corporation’s bitch work on my home planet, so I decided to do their dirty work instead. I guess shooting down rogues and pirates really isn’t dirty work, but I can’t say I don’t see where they’re coming from either.”
“You are a hero. You protect the planets and the colonies from rebels and would-be warlords who would exploit them and harm them. With your skills you will save many innocent lives. And you can leave once your term is up if you feel it no longer suits you. You have the freedom to do so, but when you leave, you will return to your home a hero. How is that not noble?” Requiem pointed out, lying down across the width of the bed, his feet still managing to touch the ground.
“Hero? I’m not sure about that, and where would I go if I left the Alpha Fighters? Back home? Work in the mines?” Damion shook his head. “No. Besides, if I left, I’d have to leave you too.”
“You could go anywhere with the skills you are developing and your high IQ. Many are proud and honored to have a Fighter come home and work for them. And your skill set qualifies you to make higher wages. You have many options.”
Requiem, however, did not have many options. He was born by Corporation medical advancements, lived by Corporation regulations, and expected to die as property of the Corporation. His only escape from them would be his death, but he’d already made it another goal in his life to make the most of what he had. He turned on his side, his gaze fixed on Damion’s face. “And I am not your life. You should not live it according to how it will affect me.”
“Kind of hard to think of when my life is heavily dependent on you almost every day.” Damion sighed and sat forward to pull Requiem into a hug. “You’re like a little lost brother, except unlike my real brother, you don’t steal my girlfriends.”
“I did not mean to put such a burden on you, and I apologize for making you feel as if I had. I felt as if I needed to be honest and so I was,” Requiem replied, losing his balance as he was pulled into the other man’s arms. After a moment of stiffness, he relaxed into the warmth, sighing in a previously unknown contentedness. “I would never steal anything that belongs to you. I do not know either what it means to have any siblings, so I do not know what you’re referencing.”
“You need to stop apologizing so often.” Damion gave him
a sad but warm smile. “None of this is really your fault. It’s just fate.”
Requiem opened his mouth to apologize yet again but then closed it, tucking his head under Damion’s chin and against his chest. “But it is. I chose you. If it were not for me, you would not be in this situation. I made it happen. So yes, it is my fault. But even if you wanted me to, I would not let you go. That is one order I will not follow.”
Damion chuckled. “A bit possessive? If I didn’t know you better, I’d be a little worried. We could go back and forth for at least an hour blaming each other, so let’s just rest like I suggested.”
“I am realistic, that is all. I fought for my right to choose you. If I decide to fight for something, I tend not to let it go,” Requiem said quietly, his arms wrapping around Damion’s waist awkwardly. “But rest. As you wish.”
Chapter Twelve
Saturday August 20, 454 MC
Lunar
Requiem
THEY WERE awake before the transport landed, but Damion had passed the remaining time finishing up the book he’d downloaded before they left the Zeus. Of course Juni wasn’t awake, and Damion even had to knock on the door and tell 108 to wake him up. Damion didn’t know where Juni lived and told Requiem he wasn’t about to get lost in the busy city.
While Damion read his book, Requiem had kept himself occupied on the terminal provided in the room. His gaze scanned the console quickly, reading about Juni’s satellite and the colony that they were visiting, trying to learn all he could. Despite that, he was still quiet and withdrawn when they stepped off the transport, sticking close to Damion’s side.
This particular area was known for the rich and well-to-do. A type of people that, despite Juni, were known for not being kind to those below their station and to those they didn’t deem to be proper. While they did not keep slaves because it was illegal, servants were kept for a minimum wage. People who were merely trying to make a living were seen as little more than insects under the foot of the Corporation.
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