by H. Hayek
None of us kids spoke. There was silence except for Huda’s gulp.
‘I have tried to help you be the very best you can be. I have tried to show you that you are capable of reaching the stars.’ Aunt Amel sniffed and looked at the carpet.
Huda stepped forward.
‘You’ve used us so you can have a holiday! You’ve treated us like servants!’
I couldn’t believe my little sister had said that. I couldn’t believe she’d stood up to Aunt Amel.
Aunt Amel snivelled and closed her eyes – almost like she was blocking out what she was hearing.
‘Well, Huda,’ she said after a lengthy pause, ‘since you haven’t shown any appreciation for the time I’ve taken to be here, or for any of the skills and responsibility I’ve tried to instil in you …’
Aunt Amel was thinking. Then she opened her eyes.
‘… you will be no longer be allowed to speak to anyone in this home. Nor they to you. You are the cause of all this nonsense.’
‘I am not!’ Huda exploded. ‘I’ve done everything you’ve told me to!’
Tears tracked down my little sister’s cheeks, but Aunt Amel ignored her. ‘The phone. Give it to me.’
Layla scrambled to give her the phone, and Raheed stirred as Aunt Amel fumbled to reach for it. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Seeing him made me realise just how much I wished I could hold him. And he must have missed me as much as I missed him – because he arched his back and let out a howl. Then he squirmed, twisting to try to wriggle out of Aunt Amel’s arms.
‘Now look – you’ve upset your brother.’
Aunt Amel was only looking at Huda. She snatched the phone from Layla’s hand and tossed Raheed over her shoulder.
‘Little Huda, you need to remember your adab and manners. Your mother raised you better than to speak back to your elders. Now get back to your tasks. All of you.’
Raheed’s wails were growing and growing, and Aunt Amel was almost shrieking now herself, trying to shout above the sound. She glared at my little sister before dashing away down the hallway. We watched Raheed reach for us over her shoulder, his face red and wet. But Aunt Amel disappeared into my parents’ bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her.
We all just stood there for a moment in the aftermath of Raheed’s screams, stunned and quiet. But we knew Aunt Amel would be back soon, and none of us knew what she’d do next.
‘C’mon, Layla, we have to make those Anzac biscuits before she asks for her next tea,’ Suha whispered to her twin. They walked out of my bedroom.
Kholoud and Omar glanced at Huda, then at me, and followed the twins down the hallway.
Huda alone remained, in the middle of my room, silent. I could see her hands shaking.
‘Meet me outside in ten minutes, Akeal. Please.’
Huda stood on the patio with her arms crossed. Her face was still puffy, but there were no more tears.
She yanked me into some bushes so we couldn’t be seen. Azalea flowers and bits of twig scratched my face as she yanked me down next to her. A sharp branch dug into my back. Bits of leaves caught in her knotted, messy hair.
‘We’re getting out of here, Akeal.’ She’d used my name. Properly. She was serious.
‘Listen, we can’t just—’
‘I have a plan. A good one. I know where the money is, and I know where Dad stashed our passports. I’ve been on the aeroplane websites. I watched a show last year where some kids ran away from home. We can do it.’
She was talking really fast, trying to get all the words and information out. She swatted away a leafy branch that hung between our heads.
I sat there, unable to believe what I was hearing. How did she think she could pull it off?
She nodded like she could read my thoughts and then leaned in even closer towards me. ‘Trust me, Akeal.’
‘Huda, we could get in some serious trouble.’
‘Not if we do it perfectly.’
‘But we’re just kids! No one is going to let us on a plane. All we know about Lebanon is from the cultural projects we had to do in Grade 2! We don’t even know where Mum and Dad are in Lebanon!’
‘Calm down, calm down. Dad wrote the address on the purple notepad and left it on top of the fridge. I heard him tell Aunt Amel. And guess what?’ My sister pulled a torn bit of paper out of her sleeve and giggled. ‘I have it right here!’
I felt my eye twitch, but she didn’t notice.
‘Tell me,’ she went on, ‘do you want to stay here working like a dog for Aunty Pineapple Head?’
‘No, of course—’
‘Do you enjoy scooping chicken poo every morning in the freezing cold?’
‘No, I don’t—’
‘Do you want to be back with Mum and Dad and away from that horrible fruit brain?’
‘Yes, I hate—’
‘Well, what are you sooking about?’
I had no answer.
She patted me on the shoulder reassuringly. ‘I know you’re scared. I know you’re worried we might get caught. I am too. But what’s the worst thing they can do to us? Like you said, Akeal, we’re just kids.’
I swallowed. Hard.
‘Okay, so let’s pretend for a second that we do go ahead with your plan. You know we don’t just buy the tickets at the Sunday market, right? Plus we haven’t fixed the computer screen since you knocked it off the table.’
My sister had thrown a potato at me more than a month ago. She’d missed and hit the monitor.
Huda snorted. ‘Oh, brother, I might look stupid, but I’m not. I saw how Dad booked his tickets for him and Mum. On the website when we went to the library. And …’
She paused. She was smiling. I hadn’t seen her smile like that since before Mum and Dad had left.
‘And what?’
‘And I know where Aunt Amel hides her handbag. I’m going to use that old avocado’s credit card to do it.’
Huda was scary when she was on a mission. I hadn’t seen this extreme side to her before.
‘So, what do you say? Are you in? Or are you going to stay here and slave away like an animal?’
I wasn’t convinced we could pull it off.
‘Look, I think it’s a good plan, but—’
This was the fifth time she’d cut me off mid-sentence. ‘That’s good to know that you think that, because I want you to know I’m doing it whether you come or not. I also want to remind you that you’re my big brother, and if anything happens to me … you’ll be dead meat.’
My mind raced. I had no choice. If Huda went alone, she’d end up kidnapped, arrested or lost in another country. If we went together, I would be able to look out for her. And we might stand a chance of getting to Mum and Dad.
My mouth was dry. ‘Okay, fine. Let’s do it.’ I could barely believe the words had come out of my mouth.
Huda didn’t smile. Instead, she raised one eyebrow. Her black pupils gleamed, and my head felt dizzy. I could’ve sworn I could feel the earth spinning.
‘Okay, so, what do we need to do first?’ I asked weakly.
‘Steal the passports. We can’t book tickets without them,’ said Huda quickly, licking her lips.
‘Where are they? Dad always says he hides them in his special hiding place.’
Huda leaned in closer. She was like a changed person, compared to earlier. She had an energy I hadn’t seen since she ate five icy poles in a row at the sports carnival.
‘Remember when I nicked those gobstoppers from Kholoud’s bag a couple of weeks ago and she went ballistic?’ she whispered.
‘Yeh, I remember.’
‘Well, I hid under Mum and Dad’s bed and was gobbling them when Dad came in. He went into their wardrobe, and right at the back, behind all the clothes, he pulled out a black rectangle bag with a handle. I saw him open it and pull out lots of money and some papers. Then I saw him take out a bunch of passports and look at all the pictures until he found his and Mum’s.’
Huda must mean Dad’s briefcase. I
’d seen him with it when he went to important places like the bank. I’d also seen him put money in it after he’d come home from work at the shop. But I didn’t know where he hid it. None of us did, before now, but then again none of us had ever thought we needed to know.
‘I saw heaps of green money in there, Akeal. Enough for a taxi to the airport, enough to buy snacks, enough to get us to Lebanon and even back again if we needed. Enough for anything we want!’
Huda giggled. She was rubbing her hands together.
‘Hang on, we can’t steal – especially not from our own parents.’
‘We’re not stealing. We’re borrowing, to get out of here. Are you telling me Mum and Dad would want us to stay and be treated this way?’ There was attitude in my littles sister’s voice now.
‘Well, no, but we can’t just blow their money.’
‘Don’t worry, we won’t.’ And Huda quickly changed the subject. ‘So, listen, we need to pretend to go to school and then get back inside the house to grab what we need.’
I had to give my sister credit – she had really thought about this.
Huda slapped me roughly on the back a couple of times, as if to say toughen up, and rolled out of the bushes like she was some type of superhero. She picked bits of twig off her red jumper as she walked towards the house and stepped up onto the patio. Before she reached the last step, she turned and winked at me.
Turbulence
I don’t have the stomach to finish watching my alien versus zombies movie. There’s a pain in my belly that keeps coming and going. Every now and then it moves into my chest. When it does, I feel like I can’t breathe.
I glance over at Huda. She’s still wearing her fancy hijab.
‘You don’t want to take it off?’ I ask my sister.
‘Why would I do that?’ She scrunches up her nose and tilts her head to the side.
The pain comes back sharper and I cross my arms over my belly.
‘Your guts still hurt?’
‘A bit.’
‘Have some lollies. They’re like medicine.’ She passes me the last of her jellybeans, but I shake my head. She shrugs and stuffs them into her pocket.
Mum always knows what to do, no matter what pain I’m in. The last time I had a sore belly she filled up a bucket of hot water and helped me put my feet in. I felt the warmth of the water travel through my toes and then up my legs until it reached my tummy. It made my insides feel snug.
‘What do you think Mum and Dad are going to say when we get there?’ I ask my sister, who’s gazing out the window.
When she turns back to me, I realise just how tired she looks. Her eyes are bloodshot. ‘They’ll be happy.’
‘Reckon they’ll believe us when we tell them what Aunt Amel did?’
‘Yeh, course they will.’ My sister yawns. She doesn’t cover her mouth.
‘They think Aunt Amel’s great, though. Why would they believe us?’
‘Coz we’re their kids, silly.’
My sister yawns again and stretches out her arms, knocking me in the head.
‘Don’t worry, Akeal. It’s gonna be good. Lebanon is going be so fun. We’re gonna see Mum and Dad, plus all the cool stuff we’ve seen in the photos.’
I’m not sure my sister is right. I’m not sure what will happen when we arrive. I think back to the old photos of Mum and Dad in Lebanon and I just know they’re happy like that now. They belong in Lebanon. That’s where they’re from. But I don’t know anything about being Lebanese, other than a few words and some food. I’m fake. Like a try-hard, trying to pretend I’m Lebanese. I don’t even know when the right time to serve the coffee is if people come over, or how to have a proper conversation in Arabic without stuttering.
We should’ve stayed in Melbourne. At home. With our brothers and sisters. Pain stabs through my stomach again. It’s hard to breathe.
‘Should I ask Martin to get you some warm milk or something?’
I shake my head.
We left them, I think. We left them there with her. The thought of my siblings still suffering with Aunt Amel feels like a knife in my guts.
I start to pray. I make a special dua that my brothers and sisters are safe; that they’ve covered for us somehow, so Aunt Amel hasn’t even realised we’re missing; and that we’ll get through Beirut Airport and make it to Mum and Dad. By the time I’m finished, Huda has fallen asleep. She’s sprawled across her tray-table. I pat her head, even though I know she can’t feel it.
‘I’m sorry, Buds.’
I close my eyes and try to sleep but all I can see are my brothers’ and sisters’ faces, so instead I stare ahead at the blank screen in front of me.
I’m not sure whether two minutes or two hours go by, but the sound of the pilot clearing her throat over the speaker stirs me.
‘We will be experiencing some unexpected turbulence. Please buckle your seatbelts and remain seated.’ The pilot’s voice sounds twitchy. Huda shifts and opens her eyes.
Martin rushes towards us to make sure we’re strapped in and then checks on the other passengers. He isn’t smiling, so I know this is serious. He hurries to his spot in the middle of the plane and I see him strap himself in.
Huda’s in her own world. I can tell the last week has finally caught up with her. She calmly puts on her earphones and starts browsing for another movie to watch. She pulls her remaining jellybeans out of her pocket and pops several of them into her mouth. I don’t think even sugar can help her now.
The plane sails along smoothly, and I’m not sure what the fuss was about. Everyone on the plane carries on chitchatting and everything feels and looks the same – except for the flashing seatbelt sign. Then the plane jerks a bit and everyone goes silent.
‘Whoa!’ some man calls out. People think that’s funny and laugh. I don’t think it’s funny, and Huda doesn’t care.
Most passengers think the worst is over and keep chatting. A woman unclips her seatbelt and stands up to go to the toilet, but Martin spots her and calls out for her to take her seat. She mumbles something and sits.
I’m not sure if the woman’s even done up her seatbelt when the plane jerks a second time. It grumbles hard and shakes like we’re in a can of fizzy drink. My head feels light, but I’m still not too worried. Huda isn’t either, even though some of her jellybeans have rolled off her tray-table onto the floor. She looks at them, then at me, sticks out her tongue and keeps watching her movie.
Then everything goes into slow motion. The plane almost stops. It drops from the sky and quickly pulls itself back up. I grip my hands to the armrests as the feeling of being on a rollercoaster sweeps over me. My stomach wants to jump out of my mouth, but I tense up to keep all my insides in.
The cabin lights go out and everything goes dark. I tighten my grip on the armrest and in the gloom, Huda looks at me again. But this time I see fear. Her eyes are wide open now. She grabs my hand. The plane drops again, even harder, and shakes wildly from side to side. The overhead lockers burst open and bags and suitcases fall into the aisles. Books and papers and food drop from tray-tables and the laps of passengers. Babies cry and little kids scream. I close my eyes.
This is it. We ran away, and now we won’t make it to our parents. Our photo will be on the news. This is what happens when you steal and lie and wag school. Even though Aunt Amel treated us like dirt, we should’ve just put up with it until Mum and Dad came back. I mean, was it even really that bad? What’s wrong with scooping a bit of chicken poo and making a few beds? Now we’re going to end up in a million tiny skeleton pieces on some mountain somewhere.
The plane keeps shaking from side to side. It’s worse than the scariest theme-park ride imaginable. My head hurts, my necks hurts. I open my eyes and watch as the passengers ahead of me wibble and wobble like jelly. It feels like the plane will tear apart in the sky.
‘Akeal.’ Huda’s voice is low. It’s a voice I haven’t heard before, because my sister isn’t usually scared of anything. I know she’s not saying my
name because she wants anything. She’s saying it because I’m all she has now.
The plane jolts forward again forcefully, and I feel the pressure of being pushed into my seat. No one is talking. No one is laughing. We’re all preparing for the worst. Everything is silent except for the rumble of the struggling engines. I hold my breath.
Huda’s looking at me. Tears run down her fat cheeks. Snot drips from her runny nose.
‘I’m sorry for being a bad sister. You’ve been the best brother in the world. I hope we can be together in Jannah.’ If the plane doesn’t kill me, the pain in my heart will. I wrap my arm around her.
‘I won’t let you go no matter what,’ I say. ‘We’re strong, Huda. We’ve been strong since the day we were born. We’re gonna be okay.’
My sister lets go of her armrest and grabs me. She’s trembling almost as much as the cabin.
‘You’re the strong one, Akeal. You’ve always been the bravest.’ She tucks herself into my chest and squeezes me.
My heart is about to rip in half when the cabin lights flicker and then turn on. The shaking stops and the plane sails through the sky smoothly once again. Aside from the mess in the cabin and the fear on people’s faces, everything has gone back to how it was a few minutes ago. Huda lets go of me.
The pilot clears her throat.
‘We apologise for the unexpected turbulence. You may now move about the cabin. Please prepare for the final rubbish collection before landing.’
I turn and look at my sister. She’s already wiped her nose and eyes on her sleeve. I can tell because the wet snot is obvious on her jumper. She pushes my arm off her shoulder and elbows me.
‘I bet ya thought we were gonna die! You looked like a scared little prawn on a barbecue!’ Huda laughs and starts to shake, pretending she’s me.
There’s a lot I could say, but I bite my tongue. ‘Pick your grubby lollies up off the floor so they don’t think we’re pigs,’ I say instead.
Huda leans over and grabs the jellybeans around her feet.
‘Don’t eat them,’ I say.
Huda grins. ‘I won’t.’
She flicks her hijab and turns towards the window. I bet she will.