by Tammy Walsh
Ettana grinned, took my hand, and led me to the bar. She ordered multiple shots and lined them up. I knocked them back one after another.
“I was supposed to have half!” Ettana said.
She ordered more and reached into my pocket to pay for it.
I didn’t care.
The only thing that mattered was wiping the past ten days from my memory. Memories that’d seemed so magical, so important at the time, were now a splinter I wanted to remove from my mind.
There were companies that could carry out the procedure but they were known to accidentally cause brain damage too.
Still, it might be worth it.
At least then thinking about her wouldn’t be so painful.
I picked up the next shot and threw it back. Until then, alcohol would have to do the job.
I don’t know when I passed the point of no return.
My memory cut out like a holographic movie missing its final act. Fragments floated like flotsam on a powerful river.
I danced more. There were many shots and bottles of alcohol. They turned skyward and I half-choked beneath the deluge.
And a fight. There was a fight out in the street.
Was I involved?
Yes.
Someone shoved me and I fell to the ground. A figure stood over me, angry and belligerent.
I welcomed it.
The sooner he knocked me out, the sooner I would be free from my torment.
Then Ettana was there, shoving the other fighter back. She shouted at the aggressor and helped me to my feet.
Then we were in my apartment.
The door opened wide and dozens of unknown people flooded inside.
Ettana helped me into the master bedroom and shut the door behind us. She removed her jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. She ran her hands through her hair and let the multicolored strands hang loose about her shoulders.
She climbed on top of me, straddling me with those long legs of hers. She bent down and kissed me on the lips.
The entire time, all I could think of was Vicky.
I jolted awake sometime later.
How much time?
I don’t know. But it was still dark outside.
I reached over for the clock on my bedside table and knocked it over. It tumbled and clattered to the floor. It said it was two in the morning.
Only two in the morning?
Everything that I recalled—in fragments—had only taken a few hours?
I guess when you lived life fast, events happened just as quickly.
I lay in bed. Shirtless.
I pulled the blanket up over myself and rolled onto an elbow. Across from me lay a figure with her back to me. Her hair was dark, and although it wasn’t as long as it should have been, it was close enough for me to believe it was Vicky.
I rolled up behind her, spooning her.
She groaned and I felt myself stiffen. I pressed it into her back so she could feel it.
She groaned again but still didn’t wake.
I nibbled at her earlobe.
She reached down with her hand and gripped my cock. She peered back at me, eyes still groggy with sleep.
I froze.
It wasn’t Vicky. It was Ettana.
Of course it was. She’d been with me all night.
Now she was in my bed. And I was beside her, shirtless.
My final few moments of consciousness fluttered through my mind.
No…
Had we slept together?
Did we bump uglies while I was half cut? It wouldn’t be the first time.
Ettana’s smile faded from her face. She reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. Her clothes lay scattered across the floor. She was naked beneath the blankets.
I gulped, feeling sick.
“What’s wrong?” she said.
You. You’re not her.
But it wasn’t her fault. There’s no need to make her feel crappy.
“Nothing,” I said.
I turned away and swung my legs over the side. The world swung with me as if it were attached to a thread.
Ettana moved up behind me and wrapped her legs around me. She worked at the tense muscles in my shoulders.
“Does that feel better?” she said.
“Yes,” I said. “That’s much better…”
Only, it wasn’t her massaging me. Once again, it was Vicky.
I bolted up onto my feet and turned to her.
“What’s wrong with you?” Ettana said. “You’ve been acting strange all night.”
“Sorry,” I said. “The past few days… They’ve been a bit… stressful.”
“Is it about your inheritance? I remember that was what your mom wanted to talk with you about when I was last here.”
She lounged on the bed and braced her head on an arm. Her large breasts were firm and stayed in place. Any sane guy in the empire would give his left nut to be with her…
But not me. Not any longer.
“Sort of,” I said. “It’s… complicated.”
“That’s why you like me,” Ettana said. “I’m definitely not complicated. I’m very, very simple. And you know what else is very, very simple?”
She kept her eyes on me as she slid off the bed and onto her knees before me. She reached for my pants and began to unzip them.
It was what I needed…
But not from her.
I backed away.
Ettana sat on the floor, folded her legs, and stared into space.
“A man never turns that down,” she said. “The problem isn’t your inheritance. It’s me, isn’t it?”
“No, not at all,” I said.
But the lie stung on my lips.
“Yes, it is,” Ettana said. “When we came to your room tonight, I gave you everything. I kissed you the way you like, touched you the way you like… but there was no waking up the little guy. He didn’t want to come out to play.”
“The little guy?”
She nodded to my crotch.
“Nothing?” I said.
“Nothing,” she said. “I’ve never known anyone to be so reliable as you. Kiss you, touch you, and you’re ready for action. But tonight… not a single peep.”
I felt like a detective piecing together a crime.
“So, you and me…” I said. “We didn’t…”
She shook her head.
“No,” she said. “For the first time ever.”
I couldn’t hide my relief. Vicky might have left to return to her homeworld but in my mind, she was still part of me. The idea of sleeping with someone else made my stomach turn. Even with someone as nice and lovely as Ettana.
“She must have been something special,” Ettana said.
Her eyes fluttered up to mine and then away again.
“Who?” I said.
“Whoever this girl you fell in love with is.”
How could she have known about her? She’d never met her and had only heard her singing. By her crooning voice and the bum notes she was striking left, right, and center, it couldn’t have painted a very attractive picture.
“You’re in love with her,” Ettana said. “I know, because I’ve seen that look before.”
I couldn’t deny it. How could I? I’d never felt that way about anyone.
“Do you know the tragic thing?” Ettana said.
Take your pick, I thought. I had a lot of tragedy in my life recently.
“I was waiting for you to fall in love with me,” she said.
She wrapped her arms around her knees and suddenly looked very shy and timid. I imagined it was how she must’ve looked when she was very young.
She smiled, but it was sad.
“What a joke, huh?” she said. “For you to love someone like me.”
I joined her on the floor
“No,” I said. “There’s nothing funny about that. Why should it be funny?”
“Because we’ve been seeing each other for the past few months and you never looke
d at me the way you do when you think about her. She was with us tonight, wasn’t she? I mean, in your mind?”
I couldn’t lie to her.
“Yes.”
She nodded her head in understanding.
“You’re there too, sometimes, when I’m at work or in the club alone,” she said. “I haven’t seen anyone else since we started meeting up. I was sort of hoping it would become a permanent thing.”
She loved me the same way I loved Vicky. I sighed and took her by the hand. I brushed the hair out of her face.
She pressed her hand to my palm.
“Love is a bitch, isn’t it?” I said.
“The worst,” she said.
She loved me, but I couldn’t reciprocate. We were never meant to fall in love. It’d always been for fun. She knew that. But at some point, the tide had turned against her.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Ettana said. “We both knew what this relationship was when we began it. I guess I was hoping for the impossible.”
“There’s nothing wrong about hoping to find love,” I said. “I do love you, but as a friend.”
She nodded.
“I understand,” she said. “I’m glad you’re still my friend after what I did to you. It wasn’t to hurt you. I just thought we still had a chance at being together.”
“Did what?” I said.
Her eyes searched mine. She looked away, chastened.
“I thought you knew…” she said. “I thought that was why you were acting strange tonight.”
I shook my head.
“What is it?” I said.
She shook her head and cursed herself for having revealed too much.
“Forget it,” she said. “I’m being silly.”
I placed my hand on her arm.
“What is it?” I said.
She squeezed my fingers and smiled sadly. She opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come.
“I… I was the one who spoke to your mom,” she said. “I told her what you’d been up to.”
The floor collapsed beneath my feet.
“You?” I said. “But how? You didn’t even know what my plan was.”
“No,” she said. “But I knew Zyod would know. So, I paid him a visit. I convinced him to tell me everything.”
Zyod told her everything? That could only mean one thing…
“He wouldn’t have told you everything, not unless you gave him something,” I said.
“Okay, so when I said I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you, that wasn’t completely true,” she said.
I snorted half in surprise, half in total non-surprise.
“You know he has a girlfriend?” I said.
Ettana shrugged.
“That’s his decision to make,” she said. “I needed information and I know how to get it. Men are very, very simple.”
It was all I needed to hear.
It was all I needed to know.
She got the information and then passed it on to my mom.
It was her fault Vicky left.
“Please don’t hate me,” Ettana said. “I did it for us. I thought… I don’t know what I thought…”
“I’m not mad at you,” I said. “But you know, nothing can ever happen between us. I’m already in love with someone else.”
And there it was. The words I struggled to admit to myself this whole time.
I loved Vicky.
There wasn’t a shred of doubt or regret about it. I loved her with every fiber of my being. I loved her even now, after she left me. And even if she refused to stay with me, I would carry on loving her forever.
“Is it too late to get her back?” Ettana said.
“She’s already on a ship heading to her homeworld,” I said.
“Is it far away?”
“Very.”
“I’m sorry. But you know, it’s never really over. Not even when it is. I never accepted we were just friends but I tried to keep you anyway.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you should go to her. Maybe there’s a chance she hasn’t left yet. Or maybe she’s on that ship right now, wondering where you are, and whether or not you’re going to run after her. I know I would be.”
Vicky wasn’t like Ettana. Would she think the same way? Would she forgive me for all the lies I told? Would she accept me for who I truly am? Even penniless and without my stake in the company?
I knew deep in my gut, money was never the issue with her. Even if she didn’t want to see me ever again, the least I could do was let her know how much I loved her.
I had to tell her. My life and my love were in her hands. It was up to her whether or not she gave us another chance.
Please, give me another chance.
I pulled the bedside table drawer open, reached in, and felt for a small bottle of pills. It was almost past its use-by-date. I took two and downed it with a mouthful of water.
They were called Joy-Kills, a brand of medicine that removed all side effects from drinking too much alcohol. It took about five minutes to pass through the entire system.
Then, I would be sober.
“Are you going to do it?” Ettana said. “Are you going to chase after her and declare your love?”
“I can give it a try.”
I lowered my hand to Ettana, who took it. I raised her onto her feet.
“Listen to me,” I said. “I love you as a friend, and that isn’t the kind of love you should ever settle for. You have to forget about me, move on, and find someone else, someone who will love you the same in return. You’re beautiful and smart. You can have any guy you want. Just make sure he loves you back.”
Ettana had tears in her eyes.
“You really think I’m smart?” she said.
“And cunning,” I said. “I would never have suspected it was you that informed my mom.”
Ettana hugged me and then leaned forward to kiss me on the lips.
I pulled back.
“Friends, remember?” I said.
“Oh, right,” she said. “Sorry. Old habits and all that.”
She kissed me on the cheek instead.
I approached the door. My legs were no longer wobbly and the world no longer tilted on its axis. I was sober as a high priest on Sundays.
For the first time in my life, it felt wonderful.
I hit the queue of traffic. At this time of night, it was dead quiet. The only trouble was, city driving speeds were always uniform. It didn’t matter if it was day or night, the traffic always moved the same.
They said it was done for safety reasons but it never made much sense to me. If the roads were empty, surely we should be able to go faster?
I placed my hand over the button that would activate the chip buried deep inside the engine cavity. It meant I could override the system and drive as fast as I wanted.
If there was ever a time when I needed to take advantage of that technology, it was now.
I prepared to mash the button beneath my hand but hesitated. It had to be my final option. Once I pressed that button, there was no going back.
I took a deep breath and took stock of my situation.
I was heading to the spaceport.
Was she still there?
Had she even boarded the ship?
Had she even purchased a ticket?
Was there even a pod available to take her home?
I scooped up my communicator and searched for my most recent purchases. I slammed my fist on the steering wheel and groaned at the sight of the payment that’d already been made.
3500 credits. A one-way ticket to Earth. Flight number ZX 193. Departure Time…
The departure time.
I sat up in my seat and glanced at the clock on the dashboard. The launch time was just twenty minutes ago.
Earth was not a common destination. She must have taken the first one she could get. It always took time for the ships to break out of the atmosphere before approaching the gate. From t
here, the ship could jump into hyperspace.
But how long did it take?
I had taken long haul flights before, but not often.
I needed a source.
Someone who knew these sorts of intricate details.
I racked my brain for someone who might know that sort of thing.
None of my friends sprang to mind. Or any of my acquaintances.
And then it hit me.
The one person who might know this stuff.
The one person who might actually help me.
Uncle Brislax.
He didn’t work in the travel industry but he liaised closely with it as an executive at our logistics company. He would know this stuff, and even if he didn’t, he would know someone who did.
I tapped his number into my communicator and waited for him to answer. It was late and I wondered if he would actually answer the call.
It rang for what felt like an eternity before it was picked up. I waited to see if there was an annoying answer machine message like Ettana had before I spoke.
He sounded groggy with sleep.
It was a good sign.
“Uncle Brislax!” I said.
“Ngh?” he said.
There was a rustling sound as he drew his legs out of bed, yawned, and staggered out of his bedroom. He wouldn’t want to wake his wife. She was even grouchier than usual if she was woken up.
“Dyrel?” Brislax said. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
“I know exactly what time it is,” I said. “Sorry about that.”
“What’s the problem?”
I took a deep breath.
“I need your help with something,” I said.
Brislax was quiet on the other end of the line.
“Hear me out before hanging up,” I said. “Do you remember that girl I brought to dinner tonight?”
“How could I forget?” Brislax said.
“Well, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. I have been ever since I met her. She left me earlier and I want to get her back.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. It’s all well and good for your mom to want you to find someone to settle down with, but take it from me, marriage isn’t for everyone. I know I have second thoughts sometimes.”
“I’m not talking about marriage,” I said. “I’m talking about not losing my fated mate.”
“Fated mate? You really think she’s the one?”
“Yes. I know she is. I need your help.”
“Your mom forbade us to lend you money—”