‘Just wanted to see Gem,’ I say.
‘You can see her from the other side of the counter,’ Esi says.
Gem glares at Esi, then gives me a sheepish look. ‘Actually …’ she starts.
‘I’m going, I’m going,’ I say, hands up. ‘Sorry. I don’t want to get anyone into trouble,’ I say, as nicely as I can, in Esi’s direction. Then I look at Gem. ‘I’ll come back later,’ I say as I reach the other side of the counter.
‘No! I’ll get you a coffee,’ Gem says quickly. ‘Stay there. I won’t be a minute.’
I sit next to Rachael, who starts chatting about college stuff, but I’m only half listening because I’m watching Esi’s body language. The way her arms are folded as she glares at Gem’s back. I think I’m starting to understand Esi. Cherine had a best friend just like her: jealous, petty, and didn’t I know it when things went wrong between us. It’s one of the reasons why things went wrong between us.
I’m not going to let that happen again, not with Gem.
Chapter Fifteen
Gemma
‘Here.’ I hand a large mug of coffee over. ‘I can’t believe she wouldn’t let me give it to you for free.’
‘Fear not, fair maiden, for I am with money,’ Aaron says, then gives me a puzzled look. ‘Actually, that sounds slightly dodgy.’
‘Well as long as you’re not with child,’ I say drily. Aaron clutches his stomach in mock concern. ‘It’s on me, don’t worry.’ I grin. ‘I’ll put it through as a small.’ I’m trying to pretend I’m totally cool about the whole ‘As You Wish’ – or AYW as I’m now calling it in my head – thing, but it’s kind of tricky because my heart’s going so hard.
Rachael coughs and says, ‘We-e-e-elll, you two are making me want to puke. I’m off.’ She gives Esi a quick hug, then me, and saunters out of the cafe, turning at the last minute to pull a face at me while fanning herself. I giggle.
The next moment Aaron’s getting out his wallet, pressing a note into my hand and closing my fingers around it.
‘Here. I don’t want you spending your money on me. That’s my job.’
‘Seriously?’ I make a show of looking about me, eyes wide. And also because I’m a wee bit nervous of what Esi might say if she overhears that. ‘We are still in the twenty-first century, right?’
Aaron laughs. ‘Keep it. I earn more money than you. Why don’t you get some cake? Get some for Esi too.’
I take the money up to the counter and start ringing up the price of Aaron’s coffee on the till. I sense Esi a few paces away from the rays of disapproval lasering my back. I don’t get it – why can’t she just be happy for me?
‘You want some cake? Aaron’s treat,’ I say, turning with the note still in my hand.
Esi glances at Aaron, who smiles at her, then back to me.
‘I’ll have lemon drizzle,’ she says with a sigh, picking up a knife. ‘Shall I cut one for you?’
I’m about to say yes when I remember my dress for the audition is a tad on the tight side. I shake my head. ‘I’m on a diet,’ I say, even though I know full well this is guaranteed to set Esi off into a long rant featuring words like ‘patriarchy’ and ‘beauty standards’. I’m kind of wanting it, right now, because the air feels wrong between us, but she simply moves the knife over and cuts herself a piece big enough for the two of us and starts eating.
I ring up the price of a single slice of cake anyway – I’m calling some waitress/general dogsbody privileges – and grab some change, then take it over to Aaron.
‘You’re not having cake?’ he says.
‘I’ll have one later,’ I say.
‘You should have one.’
‘Ah, I would, but I need to fit into my audition outfit, so …’ I do one of those apologetic half-smiles while I pat my stomach – just like Mum does, I realise with horror.
Aaron laughs. ‘You’d look beautiful whatever you wore, and anyway, I like it.’
‘Like what?’ It’s Esi, materialising next to us.
It’s so nice to hear Aaron say I’m beautiful. I’m not the sort of girl who goes fishing for compliments, or who thinks her perfectly-in-proportion ears stick out too much or anything like that. I know my good points and I work with what I’ve got. And I definitely agree with Esi; I’m not dieting for anyone. But I really, really want to wear that dress to the audition. That’s another thing I argue with Esi about – yeah, it shouldn’t matter what you wear or how you look, but in the music industry, image is everything, right?
I’m thinking all this with only half my mind on the scene in front of me – which is a bad idea as I tune back in to hear Esi say, ‘… next thing you’ll be saying you “like your women with a bit of meat on them”. That’s a bit on the dinosaur side, isn’t it?’
Aaron’s mouth is hanging open, just a tiny bit. Then he starts to reply but I cut across him.
‘Ohmigod I’ve just remembered!’
‘Remembered what?’ Esi says.
‘Uhh …’ I think fast. ‘That dress. It’s, um, got a stain. What am I going to do for the audition?’ I pull a tragic face, which Esi sees straight through, obviously.
But Aaron puts his arm around me and squeezes. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take you shopping and buy you a new one,’ he says, his lips almost brushing my ear.
‘Really?’
Aaron grins.
Esi doesn’t.
The rest of our shift is kind of painful. Aaron stays, doing the rounds of the cafe, chatting to the customers, charming all the old ladies who basically want to adopt him and feed him cake and tea forever. He takes cups back up to the counter, pulls more than one tray out of my arms and carries it to the customer’s table for me, and when things get quieter, leans up on the right side of the counter and tells jokes or listens while I talk about the audition.
The more he helps, though, the quieter Esi gets, until just before it’s time to lock up, she says, ‘I can finish this on my own. Why don’t you two get out of here?’
‘Really? You’re a babe, Esi,’ Aaron says while I try not to laugh. Calling her a ‘babe’ is not going to go down well.
To my surprise though, she simply grimaces slightly, then says in about the friendliest voice she’s managed all afternoon, ‘See you later then.’
As I go to follow Aaron out, she takes my arm. ‘Just … slow it up. You don’t have to rush into anything you don’t want to,’ she says quietly. And now her eyes look more worried than annoyed.
It’s tempting to ask her what experience this ‘go slow’ advice is actually based on, but that would be too bitchy so I simply say, ‘It’s all good.’
I start to leave and suddenly she’s calling out, ‘Hey!’ I turn back and Esi gives me a smile that says she’s offering an olive branch. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!’
I return her smile. ‘As if I would,’ I say. Then I’m off after Aaron, but I feel her gaze on me the whole way up the cafe.
‘Do you want to try in here?’
I really should be home by now, but Aaron’s driven us along the coast to a very posh harbour, full of silky people who own the yachts moored at the marina and shop in places I could usually only drool at. We’re talking all the designer labels. I felt a bit Pretty Woman in the first shop, but Aaron kept pulling stuff out for me to try and charming the sales assistants and now we’re somehow in the third and I barely feel out of place at all.
Aaron picks up something I’d never usually go for; too short and clingy in the butt area for starters. It’s also this unbelievably unflattering shade of green. ‘What about this one?’
‘You are kidding, right?’ I say.
‘What? I think it’s nice.’
I start to laugh and shake my head, giving him mock-tragic eyes. ‘Oh, poor sweet boy. You know so little.’
Aaron puts one hand up to his chest. ‘You cut me deep,’ he says in an American accent.
‘Shrek?’ I say.
He grins. ‘What about this one then?’ He’s grabbed
another dress at random. This one’s day-glo yellow. We collapse, me letting out an accidental and super-unattractive snort. The sales assistant’s trying to kill me with her gaze. She also clearly thinks he’s way too hot to be with me.
‘We’re closing in fifteen minutes,’ she says, sounding bored.
I’m just about to suggest we try another shop quickly when I spot it. It’s this belted black dress which would go amazingly with a pair of ankle boots I’ve got in my wardrobe, just waiting for a chance to be worn. It reminds me of the dress Tara from The Greenwoods wore on their first album cover. With a cowboy hat and my hair curled it would look almost as good as Tara’s outfit. I run my fingers down the fabric.
‘Try it on,’ Aaron says, making me jump. For a split second, I’d forgotten he was there.
I go into the changing room and wriggle into the dress. It’s perfect. I turn around again and again and I just know, this is it. The dress. There’s no price tag though. I squint at the mirror again. I need another layer of mascara on … I grab some out of my bag.
‘Are you ready?’ Aaron calls.
‘Almost!’
I need some lipstick too.
‘Come on-n-n-n,’ Aaron says in a way I think is meant to be teasing. I drop the lipstick into my bag, mash my lips together a couple of times and pull my shoulders back ready for my big entrance.
The sales assistant is standing seriously close to Aaron. He steps away from her as I emerge and says, ‘You look stunning.’
I mean to say, ‘Hell yeah I do,’ or something like that, but Confident Gemma suddenly morphs unexpectedly into Reassure Me Gemma, mainly due to the sales assistant’s smirk. ‘You think?’ I say instead.
Aaron slips into what I’m thinking of as ‘Stately Home mode’. ‘My lady, thou art the fairest creature I ever beheld.’
It’s exactly the right thing to say. All my confidence comes surging back, especially when the sales assistant looks between us, clearly thinking we’re mad. I do a little curtsy. ‘Why thank you, kind sir,’ I say, trying not to giggle. Aaron’s eyes are dancing with amusement.
I take the dress back off and hand it over to be wrapped. But when the shop assistant says the price, I nearly fall over.
‘That’s way too much, Aaron …’ I begin, but he makes this gesture which if I didn’t know better could be a ‘Shut up’ sort of one, giving me a brief frown as he whips out his credit card. A platinum one.
A trickle of unease begins to work its way up the base of my spine, but the next moment he’s turning to me with such a sweet smile, I have to wonder if I really saw the look on his face a moment ago. ‘This will blow them all away at your audition,’ he says.
And I’ve got to admit, having the wrapped dress in its exclusive bag feels pretty amazing. In the car, Aaron won’t stop talking about how beautiful I looked, how he wanted to treat me, how he’s just had a big payout on one of his apps. And slowly, any uneasy feelings I might have had melt away into the leather interior of his car.
He’s got money, why not let him spend it on me?
Chapter Sixteen
Gemma
Sunday morning it turns colder just in time for Michael’s next away game. I was hoping not to go, but Dad’s insisted and there’s no arguing with him. So I sit on a folding chair with a jacket on, texting Aaron and trying not to think about what he said the other day. How everyone watches Michael, never me.
Gemma: I think autumn might be here. I’m wearing my coat
Aaron: I could come down there, keep you warm?
Gemma:
Aaron: Hey, did you see this?
I click on the link and find Janie Wynell has just announced she’s working on a new album.
I text Aaron back: YAAAAYYY!
Aaron: I’ll take you to see her.
‘Yes! Go on!’ Dad roars beside me. I look up in time to catch Michael making a run down the left side of the pitch. He shoots, but is off target. Dad lets out a long groan. Mum rubs his arm soothingly as he mutters, ‘He needs to have a word with himself. What’s he playing at, spooning that?’
‘He’s doing OK,’ Mum says, but she sounds worried. I tune in to the match for a bit and my heart sinks. Michael’s not playing well. It happens like this sometimes, as though something gets him rattled and then he starts missing shots, or passing badly.
The coach takes him off with twenty minutes to go. Dad swears, but before he can shout at the coach – another potential banning offence – Mum’s there again, talking in his ear, doing that thing she does so well. Like she’s managing him.
When the whistle goes for full time, Dad stalks off angrily to the car without waiting for us. I fold up my chair, a sudden sense of weariness coming over me. It feels like I’ve been here so many times before, riding the football roller coaster.
‘He got some good passes in?’ Mum says it like a question as we get to the car, all timid. I shrug. Dad’s already got the engine running. He doesn’t get out to help me pack away the chair into the boot and the second I’ve shut my door, he reverses out so hard the tyres screech. Mum grips the sides of her chair but doesn’t say anything.
‘But he passed well,’ Mum tries again when we’ve been going for a bit.
‘Some of the time,’ Dad says, and I can hear the disappointment and frustration in his voice.
‘And that shot just before half-time was on target, the goalie did a good job to save it,’ Mum says.
‘Yeah …’ Dad’s voice softens a tiny amount. Mum keeps up the encouragement, then when she runs out of good things to say, turns to me. ‘Gemma thought he did well. Didn’t you? Gemma?’
‘What?’ I look up from my phone to meet Dad’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. He looks back to the road.
‘She was on that bloody thing the whole time. You needn’t bother coming if you’re not going to support your brother,’ he yells.
It makes me jump. Mum doesn’t say anything.
‘Sorry,’ I mutter after a bit. I wonder whether to say it was about the audition, which is now only a week away. It would be better than telling them I was texting my boyfriend …
Is he my boyfriend? I mean, I guess so. We’ve already said the AYW thing, so I guess he is? Oh God, this is the sort of thing I used to worry about in Year 8.
Anyway, Dad doesn’t really care much about singing, so I keep my mouth shut.
Dad’s crazy driving back to the training centre means we beat the coach by a good twenty minutes. I text with Aaron the whole time. I’m supposed to be going to meet Cal at his house so we can practise, and Aaron’s offered to pick me up from the training centre, but I’m not sure how to work that one so Mum and Dad don’t see.
Obviously, I use Esi.
‘Oh, I was going to walk down towards town and meet Esi if that’s OK?’ I say casually as we pull into the car park.
‘That’s fine,’ Mum says absently. Dad’s still stewing over the match.
‘We want you home for dinner,’ he says, a gruff edge to his voice.
Of course. The post-match analysis. Which is basically going to suck tonight. I hesitate, wondering if I can manufacture a homework-related excuse to get out of it, but football trumps, well, pretty much everything, so I just say, ‘Yep, be back before six.’
That’ll only give us an hour to rehearse, but it’s better than nothing.
Once I’m up the road and out of sight, I text Aaron and a moment later he comes roaring down the street and pulls up beside me.
‘What’s a nice girl like you doin’ in a place like this,’ he drawls in this Scots accent.
I grin, then straighten my face. ‘You’re using bad pickup lines on me?’
‘Bad lines? It’s Sean Connery.’
I look blank.
‘You Only Live Twice? One of the greatest Bond movies?’
‘What, like the spy? I think my Dad watches those,’ I deadpan.
‘Ouch. You need educating. Badly.’
‘Yeah?’ I meet his eyes and there’s so much ele
ctricity between us suddenly it’s like my body’s crackling. I can tell Aaron feels it too because the look goes intense. I slide into the car and he yanks me towards him immediately, kissing me so hard I’m out of breath. The door’s still hanging open.
After an age, I pull back and get the door shut. My mouth feels almost bruised, my body hot in the places his hands touched me. And for the first time, I’m totally sure I’m ready to do more, to take the next step.
Aaron’s looking at me, his face tender, his eyes dark and warm. And suddenly everything else goes out of my head: Cal, the audition, football.
‘I …’ I’m having trouble finding the words.
So’s Aaron, it seems. It takes him a long moment of gazing at me, before he puts one hand up to my hair. The other is on my thigh and he’s making circles with his thumb on my leg, which is sending shock waves right through me. ‘Do you want to come home with me?’ he says, and I know what he’s asking.
I open my mouth, about to say yes, to say I’m ready, that I know this is right. It feels right.
And then my phone starts ringing.
‘Ignore it,’ Aaron whispers, but I’m like that dog we studied in Psychology who salivates at the sound of a bell. Can’t ignore a ringing phone.
It’s Cal.
‘Oh crap, I’d better pick this up,’ I say. Aaron looks annoyed for a moment, then smiles.
‘Go on then.’
I answer, my voice coming out a little breathless still. ‘Hey, what’s up?’
‘Just checking you’re still on for tonight?’
‘Yeah, we’re on our way, be there in ten,’ I say.
There’s a tiny pause, then, ‘We?’
‘Oh, Aaron’s bringing me. That’s all right, isn’t it?’
‘Course, yeah, no problem. The more the merrier, ha ha,’ Cal says in a rush.
‘OK then, bye.’
I hang up. ‘He sounded weird,’ I mutter, half to myself.
Aaron has a look on his face, like he’s thinking hard.
‘I think we’d better go. Don’t want to arse up the audition,’ I say. Aaron looks disappointed for a moment, which, well I guess you can’t blame him for, seeing as we were basically just about to go back to his and … I start getting hot in the face, which is too ridiculous. I’m nearly seventeen. This is not a huge deal.
I Hold Your Heart Page 9