The Woman Who Died a Lot

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The Woman Who Died a Lot Page 34

by Jasper Fforde


  “No, somewhere further, deeper—into things lost and forgotten.”

  “You want to take the last Day Player into the Dark Reading Matter, don’t you?”

  “The DRM is in trouble. God only knows what Goliath is up to in there—and besides, I need to get Pickwick back.”

  The absence of our pet dodo had confused us until Tuesday’s Encephalovision started to send back images of giant marshmallows and more scenes from The Dukes of Hazzard, interspersed with the best pictures we’d so far seen of the Dark Reading Matter. Pickwick went across the night before the shooting. The Wingco put forward the theory that an Imaginary Childhood Friend might have moved across about that time and taken Pickwick with her.

  We questioned the Wingco closely, as he seemed to know something we didn’t, but if he knew anything, he wasn’t being very forthcoming.

  “The DRM is the new frontier,” I said now. “When you’re talking human imagination, there are really no limits. I’ll take the last Day Player and be back in twenty-four hours.”

  “Well,” he said, “you’ll probably need a flashlight and a length of rope—but I won’t bother with a packed lunch.”

  We sat in silence for a while until the Skyrail car passed Aldbourne’s church, and the yew tree with the warm sunny spot beneath it, and a memorial stone.

  “Do you ever think of Jenny?” I asked, staring out the window.

  “All the time.”

  “Me, too.”

  Acknowledgments

  I am indebted once again to Penguin and Hodder for taking (once more) late delivery of manuscript with good humor. Carolyn Mays and the team at Hodder, and Josh Kendall at Penguin, whose company and assistance I have greatly enjoyed over what turned out to be an all-too-short association.

  The illustrations in the book were drawn once again by Dylan Meconis and Bill Mudron, of Portland, Oregon, whose work gets better and better each year, and whose ability to work to brief in a short time is nothing short of remarkable. More of their work can be found at their respective Web sites: www.billmudron.com and www.dylanmeconis.com. They welcome commissions.

  Back to the illustrating team after a short absence are Maggy and Stuart Roberts, and my thanks to them for designing some of the postcards. Maggy’s work can be viewed at www.thepaintednet.com.

  New to the illustrating team is Phillip Colling-Blackman, who drew “Beacons” and “Smite” at the back of the book and another illustration that will be one of the giveaway postcards. His work can be seen at www.biro-art.com, and he too will take commissions.

  My thanks also to John Wooten as Nextian science adviser, who told me that the Madeupion and “Unentanglement field theory” were closer than I realized, but that Ninjas probably won’t help science much, although they are fun.

  Finally, my thanks go to Claire and Will and Rebecca and Kirsty and Tim and Jessie at Janklow’s; my dear and extraordinarily understanding wife, Mari; our two daughters; Jordan for being a cracking big brother to them both; and Maggy and Stuart for all around support—especially for taking care of the family when I had to work through our holidays. Oops.

  I’d also like to thank the Van Allen belts for protecting us from the harmful solar wind, and the earth for being just the right distance from the sun to be conducive to life, and for the ability of water atoms to clump so efficiently, for pretty much the same reason. Finally, I’d like to thank every single one of my forebears for surviving long enough in this hostile world to procreate. Without any one of you, this book would not have been possible.

  Jasper Fforde Wales, 2012

  P.S. Regular readers of my acknowledgments will be glad to hear that we finally have a new dog. His name’s Ozzy. Thursday Next Returns in TN8: Dark Reading Matter

  Table of Contents

  1. Monday: Swindon

  2. Monday: Phoebe Smalls

  3. Monday: SpecOps

  4. Monday: Shrink to Fit

  5. Monday: Braxton Hicks

  6. Monday: TJ-Maxx

  7. Monday: Tuesday

  8. Monday: Friday

  9. Monday: The Madeupion

  10. Monday: The Wingco

  11. Monday: Evening

  12. Tuesday: Library

  13. Tuesday: Next Thursday

  14. Tuesday: I’m Back

  15. Tuesday: The Finis

  16. Tuesday: Tuesday

  17. Tuesday: The Sisterhood

  18. Tuesday: Smalls

  19. Tuesday: Home

  20. Tuesday: The Destiny Aware

  21. Wednesday: Library

  22. Wednesday: Goliath

  23. Wednesday: Adelphi

  24. Wednesday: Blyton

  25. Wednesday: Smite Solutions

  26. Wednesday: Wroughton

  27. Wednesday: Kemble Timepark

  28. Wednesday: The Manchild

  29. Wednesday: Dodo Buffer

  30. Thursday: Budget

  31. Thursday: Finisterre

  32. Thursday: MadCon2004

  33. Thursday: Gavin Watkins

  34. Thursday: Evening

  35. Thursday: Aornis

  36. Friday: Morning

  37. Friday: The Righteous Man

  38. Friday: The Smiting

  39. Friday: Destiny

  40. Monday: End

  Acknowledgments

 

 

 


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