He pauses each time she says something he doesn’t get, or isn’t sure what to say, and I jump in, prompting him—feeding him the words to win over the girl I spent so much of my adult life in love with.
I coach him through conversation about art and literature. A few times, I remind myself to hold back. It’s not my conversation, after all. It’s my surrogate sitting across from Clair, not me.
At the end of the night, he brings her back to her car. I turn off the lights in the lab and walk over to the window that overlooks the parking lot. I don’t want to watch…don’t want to see what happens next, but I can’t stop myself.
She leans back against her Jetta and I blink, my pulse quickening as he puts a hand up above her shoulder, boxing her in.
He asks her for another date, and I realize I’m chewing on my bottom lip as I wait for her reply.
Tell him, Clair. Thanks but no thanks. End the date. Get in your car and drive away.
But she doesn’t end the date. She doesn’t drive away.
“I’d love to go out with you again, Cole.”
I put one hand on my hip, scraping the other through my hair as I watch what happens next. It’s almost in slow motion, as if I’m watching it on a movie screen.
“Alright, then.” He dips his head forward. “It’s a date.”
My brows dip and my fingers go to my lips as he presses his mouth to hers. I see her lean into him…clutch him closer and acid burns my throat.
It takes an eternity for the kiss to break. “Are you…sure this date is over already?”
I hear Cole’s words and jerk my gaze from the window, ripping the headset from my ear and throwing it across the lab. My arms shake as my fists clench in front of me and I ululate to give my frustration an outlet.
Cole will be coming up soon, unless, and the thought makes my stomach clench, she lets him take her home. I have to get myself together.
I storm down the hallway to my office and pour myself a belt of whiskey from the paneled cabinet that conceals a small bar tray.
I just had a fantastic date with a fantastic girl, and I’m happy about that. This thing with Clair, though, I now realize is a wound that has festered for far too long. I have to figure out how to heal it, and move forward.
I down the whiskey, then a second, and head back to the lab.
I’ve watched Clair date plenty of times. Hell, I’ve even been on double dates with her before. I’ve watched her kiss other men. Over the years, I’ve supported her happiness and been her shoulder to cry on. I’ve been there through so much with her.
Tonight, was different.
Tonight, I had a front row seat for the entire date. I planned the date she loved. I arranged for her to meet the astrophysicist she fangirled over—I met him last year at a fundraiser for science in schools. I picked the restaurant she adored. I fed my friend the names of the books I know she likes, and the comments that made her laugh. I even prodded him when he had no idea she was cracking a joke.
They were all my words, but it was Cole she saw. It was him that she kissed. Worst of all, it’s him that it feels like she might starting falling for.
I thought I could handle it, but each time she talked about something for which she and I have a shared love and I had to explain it for him, it hurt. It hurt far more than I expected.
I turn the lights on in the lab, retrieve my headset from where it landed under a metal cabinet, and wait for Cole. I buzz him in a few minutes later.
“Dude!” Cole walks forward, puts both hands up and lets his knees buckle a little, as if he’s going to collapse to them. “You are the man!”
He puts his hand up to high-five me. I reluctantly raise mine to receive it.
“That was awesome! I can’t believe how great tonight went. I couldn’t have done it without you, bro!” He slaps my shoulder with his palm.
I point to the bandage, and he peels it off, handing me the transmitter. Cole pushes himself up and sits on a metal lab table as I take the transmitter out of the bandage and put it back into the case.
“I mean, she’s so fucking hot! Her face is gorgeous, but that body...I mean, shit, dude, that body, though.” He shakes his head. “Plus she’s smart—she talks about books and science and shit. She’s unbelievable.”
“That, she is,” I concur.
He pauses and smirks at me. “Fuck, dude, she’s like the hot girl version of you. Ha!”
Clair’s not meant for me—she never was. Tabitha is the kind of girl that’s meant for me. She’s the one I should be focused on. The one I will focus on.
“Did you hear?” He asks, and my stomach lurches.
I heard, alright. I heard her sigh in response to his touch. I heard the panting kiss that I helped him earn.
“We’re going out again next weekend. But I might try to get her to see me again before then. I don’t think I can wait a whole week to see her.”
“I’m glad that it worked out for you,” I say, trying to sound as supportive as I ought to be feeling.
“So what night are you free this week, man? If I want to try and go out with her again before next weekend?”
I turn to face him, leaning back against the opposite counter and folding my arms across my chest.
“This was a one-time thing, Cole. We agreed.”
“Dude, no! You gotta help me on our next date. The next one is our third date. You know, third date. You know what that could mean.” He tips his chin up and smirks.
That is more than I can take. I can’t listen in and coach him while he touches her. It’s far too much to even contemplate.
“No, Cole. I can’t. It’s not right. Clair would hate this, if she knew what we did tonight.” I shake my head. “I can’t do it again.”
Cole hops down off the table and puts his palms on my shoulders, bending forward a little to look me dead in the eye.
“Dexter, look, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. She’s not just some piece of ass I’m trying to bed. I’m really crazy about this girl. I want to get it right with her.”
He paces back and forth, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “You know my buddy Drew got married a few months ago, right?”
I nod, unsure where he’s going with this.
“When we were first drafted, we were on the same team. We were pretty wild in those days—shutting down the bars and getting different, beautiful girls every night. Thing is, since Drew met his girl, the one he’s married to now, everything has changed. He’s playing better than ever, his new contract was negotiated at a higher rate…the team brass things he’s more stable—more reliable. He just seems so happy.”
Cole walks over to the windows at the back of the lab and looks out, then turns back to me. “It makes you think, ya know? I mean, maybe he’s onto something. Maybe it’s time for me to find someone I can get serious about instead of dating the same girls who kind of slide in and out of my life like they do, ya know?”
I swallow hard and lean on the lab table with one hand. He’s talking about Clair. I didn’t want him to see her as one-night-stand material, and it sounds like he’s thinking just the opposite. He sees her as a potential girlfriend…or maybe even more.
Cole shakes his head and steps forward, clapping a palm to my shoulder. “You gotta help me. Please, man. I’d do it for you.”
Fuck. He would do it for me. I don’t doubt it for a moment. Doesn’t Clair deserve someone in her own league? He may have been a bit of a player in the past, but deep down, I know Cole’s a decent guy.
Besides, I just started dating an amazing woman. Even if it wasn’t for Tabitha, and even if Cole wasn’t in the picture, there would be nothing between Clair and me except what there’s always been. Friendship.
I look at Cole, and he seems genuine in his desire to impress her—to do what will make her happy.
“Don’t hurt my friend, Cole,” I warn.
“I won’t. I promise. Just help me get on solid ground with her, and I’ll take it from there…Pleas
e?” He raises his eyebrows expectantly.
“Okay.” I blow out a deep breath as I reluctantly agree.
“Bro!” He exclaims, and wraps me up in a one-armed hug. “You’re the best friend a guy could have, you know that?”
“Thanks, man. You, too.”
.-- --- -. -.. . .-.
On Sunday I hit the small, local bookseller that’s one of my favorite places in the city. It’s on an out-of-the-way street, in a quiet part of town, but it stocks some of the best rare, out of print, and limited run books.
Browsing the racks, I see a section dedicated to staff picks. Among the new releases, I spot a book that immediately piques my interest. It’s a new title on the evolution of linguistics and modern technology. I pick up two copies, and text Clair on my way out to see if she’s home. She says she’s unpacking, but I convince her to take a break for food and entertainment.
Half an hour later, I’m knocking on Clair’s door.
“Perfect timing! I just hopped out of the shower so I don’t stink. You’re welcome.” She grins and hugs me as she opens the door.
“So, what sort of surprise do you have for me?”
I hold up two bags. One from the bookstore, the other from an amazing Thai place in her neighborhood that I know she’ll love.
“Shit, talk about spoiled for choice! Okay.” She bounces her index finger off her lip as her eyes dart from one bag to the other. “I’ll delay the greater pleasure and choose the food bag first. Come on in.” She takes the bag and leads me into the kitchen. I pull down a couple of plates and she portions out the assortment of dishes I brought. I do the same, grab a couple of beers from the fridge and we sit in the dining room to eat.
“So, you know my second date with Cole was last night.” Between bites of food, she reminds me of what I already know all too well.
“How’d that go?” I take a sip of beer to make the lie go down easier. I know how it went. I was there. I basically planned the whole thing, after all, Cole was just the guy who happened to be present for it in person.
“Holy shit!”
For a minute, I think she’s talking about the date, but when she tips her head back and lets out a moan that sends my mind to the gutter, I know she’s talking about the food.
“Oh, you like it?” I smile.
“I mean, damn, Dex, where is this place and why didn’t I know about it? The crying tiger and sour rice is insane!” She wags her head back and forth. “Here, try it,” she grabs a fork full of beef and holds it up for me, her smile expectant.
I lean forward and steady her hand with mine, then close my lips around the fork.
I agree with her assessment, happy I brought something she loves so much.
“You always know exactly what I want—exactly what I’ll like. I should just let you make all my life choices from now on.” She winks and takes another bite of food.
“Okay, so yeah, Cole. Dex, he was…he was a totally different person last night.”
That, he was.
“He was so funny, and he’s really interesting. Oh! I nearly forgot—he introduced me to Dr. James Choate-Siebert! He was so amazing, Dex. Really nice and down-to-earth.” Shakes her head as if in disbelief of her good luck.
“How is James?” I’m unable to resist making sure she knows that Cole met James through me.
“He’s well. I thought you must know him since he said to tell you hello. Anyway, I had a good time with Cole. The goodnight kiss was pretty good too.” Her words make my jaw clench so hard I’m certain that, if I listen closely, I can hear my own molars fracturing.
“So you’re going out with him again?” I already know what her answer will be.
“I am. Next weekend, I think.” she looks down, and back up at me. “I hope the next date goes as well as the last one.”
We finish eating and I grab the bag from the bookstore and we walk into the living room.
“Okay, get ready to be amazed. I made the best find today.” I pull the books from the bag and hand her a copy.
“Ooh! I haven’t seen this one before. Very interesting.” Clair turns the book over to read the back blurb.
“It’s only a few hundred pages. I thought we could read for a couple of hours, then I’ll help you finish your unpacking.” I hold the book up, wagging it back and forth as she ponders the decision. “I’ll be your box Sherpa; my body is completely at your disposal. What do you say?”
I can’t help but notice the sexy way she pulls her teeth across that delicious bottom lip of hers.
“How could I refuse such an enticing offer?” She cocks up an eyebrow and plops down, snuggling into the corner of the plush, brown sofa.
I sit down next to her in the middle. After a few minutes, she stretches out her legs and her bare feet press into the outside of my leg. This is not remotely conducive to me keeping my mind on the girl I’ve just started dating, and off of the filthy things I’d like to do to my friend, but I power through.
We each read straight through, and in a couple of hours, we’ve both closed the covers. It’s one of the things I love about Clair. We can sit in the same room together, reading for hours, and be perfectly content to just be in each other’s company. We’re completely comfortable with each other in every way. Being with her is safe and supportive, even if we’re not doing much of anything at all.
“That was really intriguing.” Clair offers as she stands and we walk toward the stack of boxes by the bookshelf.
We exchange opinions on the book and its concepts as Clair hands me a boxcutter.
Looking up, I see the photo I gave her on the second shelf down, and it makes me smile. We unpack all the boxes of books, and I break them down and take them out to the recycling. When I come back inside, Clair is in her bedroom. I help her hang a couple of pictures, steadying the ladder as she taps in the nails, careful to divert my gaze from her ass.
We unpack clothes she hasn’t gotten to yet, and I hang items in the closet while she unpacks into a dresser. When I open one of the boxes and find lingerie on top, my throat goes dry.
“Maybe you should do this one.” I point to the contents.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” She laughs and points to the dresser. “Just put them in there.”
I stare into the box for a moment, my eyes fixed on the lace thong and half-bra set that sits on top.
“Dex, you have seen a woman’s underwear before. You’re not a virgin. I mean, how many women have you gone out with since I moved to New York?” She asks, hands on her hips.
“I don’t know. Five? Six, maybe,” I reply. “And no, I am definitely not a virgin.” I grab a handful of panties and walk to the dresser, holding them carefully at a distance as if they’re toxic. I put them in the top drawer as quickly and efficiently as possible.
“You’re going to sleep with Tabitha.” She says it nonchalantly while pulling heels from a box and putting them into a piece of furniture on the far wall.
“I might.” Then I rethink my answer. “I probably will. If she wants to, I mean.”
“She will want to. Why wouldn’t she?” She chuckles. “But, yeah, me, too.” She delivers the sucker punch right to my gut. “Not right away, obviously, but I think, maybe Cole and I could be something, ya know?”
My chest tightens and I bite the inside of my cheek. I want to tell her not to sleep with him but the idea of saying that is insane.
The Dexland fantasy of her and me is just that—a fantasy. I’m losing her, maybe not to a better man, but to a man that’s a better fit for her.
.-- --- -. -.. . .-.
I spend the next few days working with the team to acquire new, slimline components for the bone conduction technology. It will allow us to reduce the profile of the device, and will expand the application possibilities. It’s one good thing that has come out of this whole business with Cole and Clair. When I was talking to Cole in the lab and realized we could conceal the device in a bandage, that was the moment I realized the device could be implanta
ble.
In the afternoon, I get a text from Tabitha asking about the meteor shower later tonight.
TABITHA: is there someplace I can see the meteor shower?
ME: I’ve been so busy I nearly forgot about it. There will probably be a viewing party at Chelmsford Park.
I think for a moment, then realize she might be wanting to watch it together.
ME: Or you could come over and watch it with me. I have an amazing telescope. We could have dinner.
TABITHA: [smiley face emoji] I’d love to. What time?
ME: Six? Does that give you enough time? I’ll send over my address
TABITHA: Six is perfect. I’ll be there
I pick up something to grill on the way home. Once there, I shower and change into jeans and a polo, then start prepping for dinner. The bell rings just before six, and I answer the door to find Tabitha, looking adorable in a pair of jeans and a top printed with stars all over it.
“Hi,” I smile as I open the door wide to welcome her in.
When she steps inside, I pull her in for a hug, then, when she lingers, I lightly brush my lips to hers. She feels warm and soft, and I realize that being with her like this feels right. We may have only been out a couple of times, but I like her, and she’s just what I need in my life right now.
I take her hand and guide her to the kitchen where I’ve got the food prepped.
“I thought I’d do kebabs. I’ve got steak and shrimp, if that works for you. The shower starts at nine, so we have plenty of time.” I gesture to the tray on which I’ve laid out the food.
“Sounds great.” She looks around me at what I’ve prepared. Her hand is low on my back as she stands beside me, and I find myself liking how comfortable she is with this simple, affectionate touch.
Tabitha sits on one of the chaise lounges near me as I grill up the food. I’ve poured her a glass of wine, and as I close the lid to the grill and walk back over, I realize she has her arms crossed over her body.
“Are you cold?” I ask.
“A little chilly, but I’m okay.” She smiles up at me sweetly.
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