“Look, Cole, I never…,” I start to protest but he cuts me off.
“No, man. Listen, don’t worry about it. I’m trying to apologize here. I was so busy thinking about myself I didn’t realize I was taking the girl you always cared about. So, can we still be friends? Do you forgive me?”
His expression is pleading. I shake my head and stand, leaning down to pat him on the back as I hug him like the brother he truly is.
“We both fucked up. Nothing to forgive. We’re good, man.” He hugs me back and I sit back down.
“Thanks, man. So now, I think the question is, and I think I know the answer, do you still love her?” He puts his palms down on the table, looking at me intently.
I look out the restaurant window for a minute then turn back to him, and slowly nod my head up and down.
“Then, dude…,” he tips his head back and chuckles. “Don’t wait for somebody else to swoop in. Go get her.”
.-- --- -. -.. . .-.
Over the next few days, I somehow manage to resist the temptation to call Clair. I’ve driven by her place a couple of times and she hasn’t been home. I don’t know what I would’ve done if she had been, but I know giving her some space to sort things out is the right thing to do.
Brian invites me to come over to cook out with him and Anna, and since I’m trying to avoid becoming a total hermit, I take him up on the offer. When I knock on the door, Anna answers.
“Good to see you, Anna,” I hug her loosely with one arm.
“Hi, Dexter. I haven’t seen you around in ages. “Not since…you know,” she shrugs and I’m sure she’s referring to Cole and Clair’s breakup.
“I’ve been pretty busy at work, I reply. How are you?” I delay the question I really want to know the answer to.
“Good! Come on in, Brian is out back,” she leads me inside.
She pauses on the way to the deck to sit on the arm of the sofa in the living room. “So, have you talked to her?”
“No, I haven’t. I thought she probably wanted some space. She knows I’m here for her if she needs me. I won’t bother her until she’s ready to talk.” I look at her and she scans my face.
“Are you in love with her?” She crosses her arms.
I recline against the back of the sofa and consider the question for a moment before answering. I don’t even have the will to deny it anymore.
“What does it matter?”
“It matters because I love my friend and I’ve never seen her more miserable. She’s the one who broke things off with Cole, so I suspect there’s something else bothering her, but she won’t tell me what.” She shakes her head.
“I haven’t heard a word from her, Anna. I wish I would.”
Brian joins us, and we all head outside to hang out while he grills up some steaks.
“These mosquitos are the size of pterodactyls,” Anna complains. “I’m going in to grab some candles to get rid of them.”
“I’m really glad the approvals came through,” Brian talks about the hearing device which is finally ready to go to market. “This is going to help a lot of people.”
“It will. All the hard work has been worth it. Thanks for your input. We couldn’t have done it without you.” I clink my glass to his.
“Look who stopped by.” I turn to follow Anna’s voice.
I’m mid-swig on my beer, and when I take the bottle down from obstructing my view, I nearly drop it.
Clair is standing in the doorway to the deck, staring at me, her eyes blinking as if she doesn’t believe I’m really here in front of her.
The sun glints off her hair as it cascades over her shoulders. Her blue eyes sparkle in the light, and her face is bare except for a splash of pale pink across her lips. The sundress she’s wearing is covered in pink and purple flowers, but the strap around her neck leaves her arms and shoulders bare. It’s simultaneously the sweetest and dirtiest thing I’ve ever seen her wear.
“Hello, Clair,” I manage to get out.
She just continues to stare for a long moment and finally manages to eke a greeting out.
“Come on, Brian,” Anna takes his hand.
“Come on where? Our dinner is almost ready,” he looks between us, confused.
“We need to give them some privacy.”
“But…my steaks…,” he looks longingly at the grill.
“No, you guys stay. But if you don’t mind me taking a raincheck, I think Sinclair and I need to go somewhere and talk…if that’s okay with you, Clair?”
Her eyes are filled with worry as she stands before me. I know my expression is pleading as I look at her but I don’t care.
Talk to me, Clair. Tell me what’s going on in that complicated brain. Tell me I haven’t lost you.
She opens her mouth to say something, then doesn’t and instead just nods her agreement.
“Sorry, Brian,” I say, patting his shoulder as I put down my beer and walk toward Clair.
“Thanks, Anna,” I nod her direction as I take Clair’s elbow and lead her back out to my car.
CHAPTER 31
Sinclair
“WHERE ARE WE GOING?” I ask as the Tesla swerves it’s way through traffic.
“To one of the places that we’ve always had good times together. We’ll eat. We’ll talk. Then, we’ll go from there, okay?”
“Okay.” My reply is subtle acquiescence.
A few minutes later, we’re pulling up to my favorite taco place.
I steal a glance in his direction and he winks and gives me a wry smile.
God, he looks gorgeous. Has he always looked this amazing, or am I just starved for the sight of him?
Inside, he cajoles, and probably bribes, the hostess into giving us a back corner booth in a closed section of the restaurant.
“You talked to Cole?”
Dex nods his head. “But I want to hear what you have to say. Tell me why, Clair. The real why.”
Mercifully, the server comes to take our order, buying me some time. After she drops off Dex’s beer and my daquiri, I take a long gulp of the liquid courage and begin.
“I realized…what I felt for Cole was attraction. I cared for him. I loved him, even, and still do, in a way. He wasn’t the guy I wanted to spend my life with, though.” I shake my head and look down at my drink.
“Look at me, Clair,” Dex commands, but I don’t listen. He moves his hand forward to pull my chin up, but I shrink back from it.
“I can only imagine what he must think of me…what he must’ve said about me.” I’m still unable to look Dex in the eye.
“He said…,” Dex clears his throat. “That you deserve to be happy.”
I look up at him, my brow wrinkled. “He…did?”
“He did. Cole did a lot of thinking on the road the past few weeks. He said he rushed things with you, and he shouldn’t have. He also apologized,” Dex continues, his eyes dancing despite his serious expression.
“What in the world does he have to apologize for?” I’m stunned at the idea he would think he did something wrong.
“Because he said he should’ve realized earlier and he was sorry he didn’t.” His grin is pronounced, now, as he shoves his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.
“Realized…what, exactly?”
“That he was stealing my girl.” He staring me dead in the eye now, one brow cocked above his glasses.
“What?!”
“He said he’s been thinking about everything, and he asked me, when he first asked you out, if I liked you—if I was going to make a move.” He stretches his hand across the table and takes my palm firmly in his.
“I just said we were friends. He said he realized that I was in love with you because I left so quickly after he proposed…I never even congratulated you. He put two and two together, I guess and he realized I loved you the whole time. He said he felt like he swooped in and stole you away.”
He’s stroking my palm with his big strong hand, and the move is absolutely melting me. It feels so
intimate, so commanding yet soft, too.
“I’m not an object, Dex. I’m not some prize that belongs to anyone.” I try to stay strong, but my resolve is so weak and I know he can feel me beginning to yield.
“I know you’re not. The fact that you don’t need anyone tells me that anyone you choose to have in your life is there strictly because you want them to be. You’re strong. Independent,” he leans forward, sliding his hand along my wrist and up my forearm. “You’re intelligent. Creative. Caring. Beautiful inside and out.” His hand creeps up my arm.
His fingers caress the back of my shoulder and graze my neck, leaving a fiery trail behind them. “You’re a rare, exquisite creature, and you don’t belong to anyone.” His fingers trace my jaw. “The thing is, though, that I belong to you. I’m yours completely, Clair. Body and soul. I always have been.”
His eyes narrow and his gaze is filled with heat. His thumb traces my lower lip and my body vibrates with need. “So, Sinclair, the question is…now that I’ve made myself very, very clear…what are you going to do about it?”
“I,” I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the lump that has formed in it. “I’d like to leave.”
Dexter stands up and takes a hundred dollar bill from his wallet, tossing it on the table for the twenty dollar tab and takes my hand firmly in his, guiding me outside. He walks me to my side of his car, but instead of opening the door, he backs me up against it. He puts his hands on top of the car and leans forward, caging me against it. My breathing is so heavy, I’m almost panting. My heart is pounding. My skin is a sea of goosebumps.
Dex leans forward and the muscles of his arms flex, making him somehow even sexier, which I didn’t think was even possible. “Where are we going, Clair?” His voice is a low rumble.
I try to speak but words won’t come. I put my palm up to his jaw and the stubble against my skin dampens my panties even more than they already were. I move my other hand to his face, and run my fingers over his cheeks then trace his lips. When my thumb runs along his bottom lip, he opens his mouth, just a little, and pulls his bottom lip up against my thumb as his eyes burn through me.
I can’t take any more.
I slide my fingers around the nape of his neck, tangling them in his hair and pull him close. I move my lips forward so they almost touch his and take a breath.
“No going back, Clair.” His voice is hungry and low.
My eyes move to his, my brow furrowed, my pulse throbbing wildly in my neck. My eyes slide to his lips, then back as my fingers dig into the back of his neck.
“No going back,” I whisper my agreement.
I tilt my head ever so slightly and suck in a breath, consuming the air between us. My fingers squeeze, urging him closer. His arms slide around me, and suddenly, his lips are on mine.
He purses his lips and tugs on mine, pulling and sucking as I melt into him. When he draws my lower lip between his and grazes it with his teeth I can’t breathe—can barely think.
This kiss is everything. It’s as innocent as the first kiss in childhood, and as filthy as sin incarnate. It’s a lifetime of emotion, and a future of endless promise. It is sweet, dirty, tender, and ravenous and I never want it to end.
He pulls his lips back, and I nuzzle against his cheek as I press my body tightly against his.
“Mine,” I whisper the word against the corner of his mouth. “You belong to me.”
“I do.” There’s a sexy grin on his lips and hunger in his eyes.
I slide my palms around to his chest and push him away. “Your place,” I say, my voice a husky whisper.
He brushes his fingers across my cheek and opens my door.
As we drive to his place, he looks dead ahead, one hand gripping the wheel, the other gripping mine.
Once we’re inside his house, I take his hand and pull him into the guest room. As we pass his bedroom door, he looks at me, his eyes narrowing for a moment, his brow furrowed in question.
Inside the guest room, I turn to him. “You’ve never had sex with anyone in here, have you?”
His eyes tip up and back with understanding. “No, I haven’t.”
“You’re about to.”
I step forward and clutch at the fabric of his shirt, wrenching it up. He takes off his glasses and sets them on the nightstand, then peels his polo shirt off over his head.
My fingers gravitate toward his rippled torso then skim up his defined chest and over his broad shoulders. When my eyes meet his, I see vulnerability there, and I push it aside.
I press my lips to the center of his chest.
“So fucking hot,” I sigh against his skin. My lips slide down his belly until he slides his fingers through my hair and pulls my mouth back to his, devouring it.
“I need you naked,” he growls against my lips and the words make my body hum.
I like this sexy, commanding guy who knows what he wants and doesn’t hesitate to say so.
I step back and pull my sundress over my head. Dex crosses his arms over his chest and moves his hand to his chin as he watches me. His gaze is intense—so much so that, from anyone else it would be intimidating.
This isn’t just any man, though. This is the man I’ve loved for years. The man who loves me back. The man who belongs to me.
My hair is cascading down, obscuring chest. He steps forward, brushing my hair back behind one shoulder then the other. He looks appreciatively at my curves, cupping my breast in his broad palm. His brows are furrowed as he stares down at me.
“Say something, Dex,” I beg, feeling suddenly self-conscious.
“Sorry,” he whispers. “It’s just…you took my breath away.”
I tug at him, desperate for his mouth on mine, and he obliges, walking me backward through our kiss until I’m on the edge of the bed. He steps backward unbuttons his jeans, letting them drop to the floor. When he slides down his shorts, the tip of his thick cock glistens with precum. I didn’t expect his size, and the sight of him is fuel on the fire already burning inside of me.
I lean back, and he pulls down my panties, smiling, chasing me as I back across the bed to the middle.
He bends forward and kisses up the inside of my thighs, shooting pleasure and anticipation through my body with his touch. When his lips graze my sex, I’m already begging for him. His tongue flattens against me, moving from bottom to top, pressing firmly against me. As I start to grind against him, he closes his mouth over me, pressing his tongue to my clit as he sucks, sending me soaring. My hands clutch at the bedsheets, clawing and grabbing as my body begs for mercy and at the same time, I never want this exquisite tempest to end.
As I begin to come down, he trails kisses up my body, his tongue circling the stiff peak of my breast before finding my neck, my jaw, my lips.
“Please tell me you’re on birth control,” he pants as he hovers over me. “Because if I have to leave you long enough to go get a condom, I’ll die.”
“I am,” I giggle. “And I’m healthy,” I reply as I crook my leg around his hips, begging him closer. “You?”
“Healthy. So…?”
“Tell me,” I say as I slide my hips up until I can feel his tip at my entrance. “Tell me you love me…tell me you want me.”
“I’ve loved you forever…I’ve wanted you since the day we met, and I need you now more than I need my next breath.” He brushes a kiss to my lips. “Tell me, Sinclair.”
“I love you, Dex,” with my words he slides forward achingly slowly. He stretches me, filling me and the sensation is so intense, I can barely think.
“I wanted you when we first met, but now…,” with my words he slides deeper inside of me, my pleasure growing with every inch he claims. “Now, I need you…all of you.”
He thrusts his hips and slides deeper until he’s fully seated, holding me there for a moment before sliding out and back, owning my pleasure with every deep, powerful stroke. Our hearts pound, our skin alight as we move together, hips thrusting to meet each other, his pelvis grinding
against me, pressing into my clit, sending me higher.
My mind whirs as he plays my body like an instrument of his own invention. He is so thick that he claims me completely, pressing forward to find pleasure in places I didn’t know could. I wonder how I can feel so completely consumed.
How can anything feel this good?
“Please, baby…give me everything,” I beg as my mind goes numb with delectation.
“I’m yours, Clair…you fucking own me, body, heart, soul…everything.” He stares at me so intently, then presses forward, taking me over the edge as he groans out his release.
As we lie together, sliding down from the crest of pleasure, he holds me so tightly, and my heart feels so full it could burst.
“In my thousands of fantasies of being with you, nothing could compare…nothing could ever come close to the reality.” He kisses me softly.
“I probably fantasized about you too, but right now, I can’t remember any of that. I feel like the world didn’t exist until tonight. Please tell me we get to do that any time we want now.”
“Anytime…all the time. In fact, give me a minute to rehydrate, and we can start right now.” He laughs and playfully nips at my shoulder, wriggling his eyebrows.
I press my palms to his cheeks and look deep into his eyes. “I seriously love you more than I think my heart can take.”
CHAPTER 32
Sinclair
DEX IS DOZING IN the guest room after hours spent pleasing each other. I know it may seem silly, insisting our first time be in the guest bed. I just wanted to make sure we were untethered by any ghosts. So much has happened over the past months, I wanted us to start this new chapter together off right.
That’s what it is, too. It’s a new chapter for him and me. There’s no fear—no hesitation. There’s no one and nothing in our way anymore, and we can finally be right where we should’ve been all along—together.
I slip into the bathroom to take a shower, but there’s no towels in the guest bathroom. I don’t see any in the closet, so I walk, naked, through his house to the laundry room to look for a one. I see one on top of the dryer and grab it. When I turn to walk out, I bump into a hamper, toppling it over and spilling all the dirty clothes all over the ground.
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