“A couple of months ago.” I grabbed for another tomato, but Gran slapped my hand away. “So, what have you been up to now that you aren’t working at the diner nearly every day?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. If not, Gran would figure out why I’d started working out and lecture me on the importance of shifting and taking care of my bear. She’d done so more times than I could count in the last year, and I didn’t want to hear it again.
“Everything I’ve always wanted to do,” she insisted.
“Like?” I pressed, hoping to keep the conversation rolling.
Gran flipped the omelet she was cooking like a pro. “Spending time in my garden, reading, sitting on the porch and watching the mountains, fishing, tubing.” She grabbed two plates from the cabinet and sliced the omelet in half with her spatula before sliding half on each. “Living.”
I watched as she made her way to the fridge. She grabbed a large bowl of fruit out and set it on the counter before spooning some onto both plates. When she was finished, she held one of the plates out to me.
“You went tubing?” I asked as I took the plate from her. “No way.”
Tubing down the creek wasn’t something I imagined Gran would ever feel comfortable doing. Heck, I’d tried to talk her into it so many times over the years. She always said no. I knew it was because when she was a kid, she went tubing with her best friend and her friend got lost. She was supposed to get out at the bridge but didn’t. Gran looked for her down the creek but wasn’t able to find her. By the time she gave up and found an adult to help, her friend had been gone for nearly an hour. They found the poor girl later that night, miles aways from where she should have been.
Since then, Gran hadn’t stepped foot in the creek.
“I did,” Gran said. “Rayna and Tobin, along with some others, invited me to go the other day.”
“I’ve tried to get you to go for years. You always told me no.”
Gran shifted her eyes from mine. “Things are different now.”
My stomach dipped. I didn’t want to think about why things were different. I didn’t need the reminder.
“And did you have fun?” I asked instead, trying to keep the conversation light.
“More than I thought I would.” Gran grinned. Light entered her eyes for the first time all morning, and my smirk widened.
I’d have to thank Rayna for inviting her.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked as I popped a blueberry into my mouth.
“I have some work to do in the garden.”
“Need any help?” I asked. Working in the garden didn’t rank high on the list of things I’d like to do today, but spending time with Gran did. If being in her garden was where she wanted to be, then it was where I would be too.
“Of course. There’s always plenty to do.” A secretive smile twisted the corner of her lips, and I knew she was getting ready to drop a bomb on me. That smirk was her telltale sign, and my stomach clenched as I waited for whatever she said next. “Nash normally helps me, but I guess you’ll do.”
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name.
“He does?” I asked, without meaning to. Genuine shock had fried my brain. Gran’s smirk widened, and I knew she’d expected to throw me off guard with her admittance.
She was a sneaky little devil.
“Nearly every day.”
I blinked and swallowed hard. “You never mentioned it before.” In fact, she’d rarely mentioned Nash at all this past year.
“Because I knew he was a sore subject with you.”
He still was, but I didn’t say so. Instead, I shifted in my seat and speared at another blueberry, this time harder than was necessary.
“Don’t get all defensive and irritated with me. I’m only mentioning him now because you’re here, and so is he. You’ll bump into him sooner or later, which means you’re going to have to face that past you ran away from so quickly. You know you can’t keep running from it forever,” Gran insisted. I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn’t meet her gaze.
I couldn’t because I knew she was right, even though I hated to admit it.
I plucked the blueberry from my fork with my teeth and then sliced into my omelet. Gran didn’t say anything more on the subject of Nash, and I was thankful. Instead, we ate breakfast while chatting about random things like we always used to when I still lived here. When we were finished, I stood to wash the dishes like I used to.
“Nope, you leave those for me,” Gran insisted, surprising me. “You get your bottom outside and bring those plants of yours in before they get too hot from the sun and wither.”
My plants! I’d forgotten about them.
“Do you mind if I set them on the porch in the sun?”
“Why would I? Lord knows I don’t have enough room in here.” Gran motioned to the cabin. “Between your plants and mine, we wouldn’t be able to walk. It would be a jungle.”
“Nothing wrong with that. It’s actually my end goal,” I said with a chuckle before stepping to the door and slipping on a pair of sandals.
I swung the front door open, and sticky morning heat rippled across my skin. The storm and rain last night had increased the humidity level tenfold, and I felt as though I were cutting through the air as I walked to my vehicle. My plants didn’t look wilted or withered when I opened the back up. In fact, they were still vibrant and green as ever.
“You guys are gonna love it here,” I said to them as I gathered a few of the smaller ones in my arms. “You’re going to soak up so much sun. You’re bound to love the humidity in the air today too.”
My bear chuckled. She always thought I was crazy for talking to my plants. I ignored her and continued to the porch. When I was halfway there, a familiar sound in the distance captured my attention and I froze.
A golf cart.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping and praying it wasn’t Nash making his morning rounds. Any of the brothers could be doing it now. Heck, in the year I’d been gone, Liam could have hired someone who did only that.
My bear huffed, and I knew I was wrong. She knew as well as I did Nash had always been an early riser. The chances of it not being him were slim to none because of it.
Shit.
I didn’t want to see him yet. I wasn’t ready. My gaze dipped to glance at what I was wearing—purple sleep shorts, a thin tank, and Gran’s bejeweled sandals. I was sure my hair was a mess too. Heck, I probably had mascara swiped beneath my eyes and fruit seeds in my teeth.
Awesome.
As my panic switched over to pure adrenaline, I made my way to the porch to deposit my plants and then head inside to hide. When I was steps away from the door, I spotted Gran staring at me through the living room windows. There was a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her. She’d known Nash would be out making his rounds, and this was her way of stepping in to make sure I didn’t avoid him altogether. Chances were, if I took another step to the door, she’d lock me out.
My stomach hardened as a thought occurred to me—was Nash coming here?
Gran had said he helped her with her garden nearly every day. Maybe he came first thing in the morning since both of them were early risers.
My palms grew sweaty as the sound of the golf cart grew closer. My bear paced, but it stemmed from a place of excitement, not nervousness. I frowned, feeling like Gran and my bear had betrayed me. I didn’t want to see Nash. If it were up to me, I’d avoid him the entire time I was here.
Gran knew this, though. My stubborn side came from her.
The golf cart was closer now. In seconds I’d feel Nash’s presence. The desire to slink inside and hide became overwhelming, but I didn’t give in. Gran wouldn’t let me even if I tried. The smirk on her face made that much clear.
Pressing my lips together, I pulled in a deep breath and turned to continue unloading my plants from my vehicle. Maybe it wasn’t Nash, and even if it were, maybe he wouldn’t stop. Maybe he would feel a need to avoid me, s
ame as I wanted to do to him.
The golf cart rounded the corner. I glanced in its direction, and there he was—Nash, in all his broody, sexy glory.
My pulse hammered in my ears, and my mouth grew dry at the sight of him. Butterflies erupted in the pit of my stomach, and my bear made a satisfied noise. She was ecstatic with the reaction I was having to seeing him again after all this time. It sent irritation sparking through me. I was ticked at her, and I was ticked at myself. I didn’t want to feel anything when I looked at Nash because he didn’t deserve it.
I stepped to my vehicle and grabbed a few more plants, vowing to not look in his direction again.
Why had I brought so many damn plants?
When I spun around to head back to the porch, Nash was just a few yards away in his golf cart. My pulse hammered in my ears as I tried not to look at him again. I kept tabs on him from the corner of my eye instead.
Please keep going. Don’t stop. And for the love of God, don’t talk to me.
I held my breath while I walked at a pace I hoped looked normal to the steps. My bear nipped at me for refusing to look at him again. She wanted me to not only look at him but to say something, to acknowledge his presence so he’d do the same to us. I couldn’t, though.
So, I didn’t.
Instead, I kept my head down and deposited my plants next to the others where they would get sun. Nash passed by without so much as a hello. His eyes were on me, I could feel them, but I didn’t glance his way and return his stare.
I was proud of myself. My bear, not so much. She was ticked.
I exhaled the breath I’d been holding and felt my body buzz with fading adrenaline. My first encounter with Nash had been a success. Maybe not to my bear or Gran, but it had been to me. I hadn’t cried or screamed at him like I’d thought I might. Instead, I hadn’t even spoken to him or acknowledged him.
I’d handled the situation well, I thought.
The sound of Nash’s golf cart backing up had my stomach dipping.
I glanced in his direction, wondering what he was doing. He pulled up beside my vehicle and stared at me, his jaw hard set.
“I was going to keep moving and act like I didn’t see you,” he said, his rough voice causing me to feel a million things all at once.
How long had it been since I’d heard his voice?
I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed the sound of it until now. My knees grew weak, and I hated my body for its reaction, but it was my bear’s response to him that nearly did me in.
She was beyond ecstatic that he’d stopped. Her heart skipped a beat, but for an entirely different reason than my own—her’s skipped because she’d never stopped loving him.
Had I? The question came at me from out of left field.
“Why didn’t you?” I asked, my tone harsh, guarded, and cold. Nash flinched, and satisfaction slithered through me because now he knew that I wasn’t the girl he knew anymore.
I’d changed.
The old me would have never asked something like that, and she would never have used such a harsh tone.
“Because,” Nash said as though it were answer enough.
It was, but it wasn’t.
Silence built between us. It was thick and heavy. I didn’t know what to say, and apparently neither did he.
“Can I help?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
I had no idea what he was talking about. “With what?”
He nodded to the remaining plants in my trunk. “Those.”
Nash had always been a man of few words. It was something I used to love about him. Now, all it did was irritate me. I hated the way he hardly ever said a full sentence.
“I’ve got it,” I said, hoping he’d take a hint.
He didn’t, but I knew he wouldn’t. Nash never listened to me when it came to things like that.
Instead, he stepped to my vehicle and grabbed the remaining plants. A leaf snapped off one of them when he grabbed its pot with his large hands, and he froze.
“Shit,” he mumbled as an expression of pure horror twisted across his face.
I laughed. I hadn’t wanted to. I’d wanted to remain cold and standoffish while in his presence, but the expression on his face was one of comedic gold.
Nash glanced at me, flashing me a sexy lopsided grin that did things to me I wished it didn’t.
“What are you laughing at?” He asked in that deep, gruff voice of his. The corner of his lips lifted higher, and the tension in his body seemed to melt away.
“You,” I said, shaking my head and chuckling. “You should’ve seen your face when that leaf snapped off.”
“Well, maybe it’s because I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with you,” he said without a trace of anger or resentment in his tone. Somehow, he managed to weave amusement in instead.
No. No. No. Don’t let him in again. You’ve built up walls and turned your heart black because of this man. Don’t give him the power to hurt you all over again.
My bear snapped at me, disagreeing with my thoughts wholeheartedly. I ignored her and moved to slam the trunk of my SUV closed.
“Shouldn’t you be?” I whispered as I walked past him, up the stairs of the porch, and to the front door. My words would hurt, they’d sting, but I didn’t care. I hoped they did both. “You can leave those with the others,” I said before opening the door and disappearing inside. Thank goodness Gran hadn’t locked me out.
I leaned against the doorframe, struggling to catch my breath and calm my racing heart. Memories of another time the term walking on eggshells had been mentioned between us flooded my mind. The emotions attached to it squeezed my lungs tight, making it harder for me to breathe. My bear paced. She didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole, but it was unavoidable. Fat tears fell from my eyes as I remembered how Nash used to be my everything—until he wasn’t.
Chapter Four
A phone ringing jolted us both awake. We scrambled to find it and silence the harsh sound disrupting the peace of our spot. It was pitch black out. Whoever was calling was most likely wondering where the heck we were. We were both supposed to have been home hours ago.
“It’s Liam,” Nash muttered, staring at the screen. The blue glow lit his face, allowing me to see his wrinkled brow perfectly.
“Maybe he’s trying to warn you before you get into too much trouble. We were supposed to be home hours ago. Gran is going to disown me,” I said as I pulled on my panties and then reached for my bra. “I can’t believe we fell asleep.”
Nash smoothed a hand over his face. “I know me either.”
His phone continued to ring. It had to be seconds from going to voicemail. “Well, aren’t you going to answer it?”
Nash ran a hand through his hair. “Ugh. He’s probably just calling to tell me how much trouble I’m in with Dad.”
“We’ll both be in trouble,” I said as I leaned over and placed a kiss to his cheek. “It was worth it, though.”
He squeezed my thigh and shifted to face me, a crooked smirk twisting his lips. Electricity sparked beneath my skin at the feel of his touch, and I leaned forward to kiss him again. It was tender at first but soon it filled with more passion than even I knew what to do with. His cell went to voicemail, and the sudden silence had him pulling away from me.
“You consume me, Samantha Mathers.” Nash grinned and shook his head. “You always have.”
“And I always will,” I insisted as I leaned in and nibbled his ear.
He playfully swatted me away and then tapped around on his phone, calling Liam back. It rang only once before he answered. My heart dropped to my stomach because I knew something was wrong by how quickly he’d answered.
“Hey. I know Dad’s probably about to have a cow because I’m not—”
Nash’s words were cut off. I could hear what Liam said, and it made my heart skip a beat as an icy chill slipped down my spine.
“She’s gone,” Liam repeated, his voice thick with emotion. “Mom’s gone.”
Silence spread from the phone line outward, surrounding us and weaving through the woods. Even the sound of the rushing waterfall was blocked by it. I placed a hand on Nash’s shoulder, and he shook my touch away. The gesture stung, but I let it go because I knew he was hurting.
He was in pain.
“No. She’s not gone. She can’t be. I just talked to her. Earlier. Like, hours ago.” Nash’s words were frantic. His expression twisted into one of confusion, and his eyes blazed bright with his bear. I knew it was because neither of them could process what Liam had said.
Neither of them wanted to believe.
I placed my hand on his shoulder again, wanting to let him know I was here with him. That he wasn’t alone. Again, he shook off my touch. This time when he looked at me, anger burned through his eyes. It stung because I could tell it was directed at me. It seared deep into my soul and my breath caught in my throat as I pulled my hand away.
Nash had never looked at me like that before.
I knew then that this was something neither of us were ready to go through, that it was something I wasn’t exactly sure our relationship would survive. Call it a premonition or basic gut instinct, but I knew right then that this would be the beginning of our end.
Nash would always look at me differently from here on out. He wouldn’t remember the beauty of the moment we’d shared before his world fell apart. Instead, all he would remember was the pain of losing his mom.
It would overshadow everything. It would overshadow us.
I slid my shirt over my head as Nash hung up with Liam. He remained where he was, frozen and unblinking. I could see that his life had split in half right before me. He would never be able to go back to who he’d been before that phone call, but he couldn’t handle who he was after either.
I pulled my knees to my chest and stared at him, wondering what I should do—what I should say—to comfort him. It was all I could think about—it was all my bear could think about.
Consumed (Gem Creek Bears Book 7) Page 3