Rafe placed a hand over his heart and pretended her words hurt him. “I practically live outdoors. I don’t know how you survive in that concrete jungle of a city.”
Karen shifted to look at him, a small smirk twisting her lips. She shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know. It’s just what I’ve always known. I grew up there. City life—the hustle and bustle, the daily grind—it’s what I live for. Coffee in hand.” She shifted her attention to me, eyes wide. “Speaking of, think I could get a cup to-go?”
I wrinkled my nose. “After eating a burger?”
“Caffeine is life.” She winked.
“Sure.” I motioned to the machine in the kitchen. “Feel free to make yourself a cup.”
“Okay, I should get back to work,” Liam insisted before pecking Tris on the lips. He eyed his brothers next. “We all should. It was nice having lunch together, though. I think this is something we should do more often.”
Everyone seemed to agree as they dumped their trash and then filed out of the cabin after saying goodbye.
“You didn’t eat much,” I said to Gran as I moved to take her plate. She hadn’t eaten much all day.
“I wasn’t hungry. I’m just tired,” she said, her voice sounding so low and soft it almost didn’t sound like her own. “I think I’m gonna go lie down and take a nap.”
“Do you need any help?” I asked, feeling worry prickle along my spine. She didn’t look too good.
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. You enjoy the rest of your afternoon.” She patted Karen’s shoulder in passing. “Have a safe trip home. I’m glad you were able to visit. It was nice seeing you again.”
Karen pulled her into a hug. “Thank you. It was nice seeing you again too,” she insisted. Her lips clamped together afterward, and I knew it was because she didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t as though she couldn’t say to take care or I’ll see you soon. Gran was dying. “Get some rest.”
After Gran disappeared down the hall to her room, Karen went to the kitchen to make her coffee. I could tell from the tightness of her shoulders she wasn’t okay and followed to pull her in for a hug.
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to say,” she admitted. “I didn’t know how to say goodbye.”
Tears filled my eyes when she looked at me and I saw hers. “What you said was perfect. She needs to rest, and I’m sure she knows what you meant.”
“If you need anything—anything at all—please don’t hesitate to call me, okay? I’ll be here in a flash to help with whatever I can.”
“I know. Thank you for being such a good friend.” I squeezed her tighter before releasing her, hoping she knew how much I meant what I’d said.
“Why do I feel like this is goodbye?” Karen asked, her brows pinching together. “You’re not coming back to Denton, are you?”
“I will. I mean, I have to.” I tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ear. “All my stuff is there.”
“But you won’t be staying in Denton because your heart.” She paused and nodded to Nash through the window behind me. He stood on the porch, cleaning the grill. “It’s here with him. With all of them. Isn’t it?”
I licked my lips and nodded. “Yeah, it is. I don’t think it ever left.”
“I’m happy for you.” She squeezed my hand and smiled. “And, I mean it. If you need anything, just let me know. I’m a phone call away.”
After she’d made herself a cup of coffee for the road and gathered her things, I walked her to her car. Once we’d said goodbye and she pulled away, I moved to stand on the porch next to Nash.
“What now?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I guess I’ll clean up the kitchen for Gran. After that, I don’t know.”
“No, I mean what’s your next move? After, I mean?” His voice was low and uncertain, but his eyes weren’t. They never wavered from mine.
I swallowed hard, knowing what he was asking. “I think I’ll probably move back.”
He flashed me a crooked grin, the one I’d always adored. “I think that’s a good idea. In fact, it was what I was hoping you’d say.” He set the scraper he’d been using in the grill down and wiped his hands on his shorts before erasing the little bit of space between us and crushing his lips to mine.
Time crept away as his mouth explored mine. Electricity sparked beneath my skin everywhere he touched. It was a sensation I’d missed more than I knew.
I wanted him. I wanted all of him. And so did my bear.
“Not here. Not on the porch and not inside with Gran in the next room,” I insisted, pressing pause before we reached the point of no return.
A devilish grin twisted Nash’s lips as he pressed his forehead to mine, struggling to catch his breath and gain control over his need for me. “Let’s head to my place then.”
My teeth sank into my bottom lip, and I took his hand in mine. “Okay.”
We climbed into his golf cart, and Nash pushed the little engine as fast as it would go. He was just as eager as I was to pick up where we’d left off. When we reached his cabin, our lips fused together before we even made it to the door. Somehow we still managed to make our way inside to his bedroom. The instant his mattress pressed against the backs of my knees, I reached for the edge of his t-shirt and peeled it off. We stripped each other down, discarding articles of clothing like they were suffocating our need for air. Then we fell onto the mattress, eager to connect in a way we hadn’t in far too long. Fissures spidering through the walls I’d built around my heart widened and spread to the point of crumbling. Warmth filled me, and I swore Nash’s kisses and his tender touch healed me. I was right where I needed to be.
Chapter Thirteen
The sun had already started to set. Nash dropped me back at Gran’s cabin hours ago so he could get back to work, but all I could think about was him and what it had felt like to be with him again.
“You’re happy,” Gran said, tossing me a sideways glance. We were sitting on the back porch, watching streaks of color slice through the sky.
Warmth filled me as I shifted to glance at her. “I am.” I took a sip from my lemonade. “I’m planning on moving back here too.”
“Good,” she said with an air of knowing.
“I’m sorry I ever left.”
“Don’t apologize for that,” Gran insisted, her eyes narrowing. “That was your path, honey. You had to leave to learn how much you’d miss this place. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
My heart contracted and then expanded. Every second with her felt as though it was my last. I would miss her wise way with words and views on life.
I would miss her.
“I love you, Samantha, and I’m so proud of the woman you’ve grown into.”
“I love you too,” I whispered. “And I am who I am because of you, so thank you.”
She coughed and then nodded to her empty glass. “Can I get a refill?”
“Sure.” I took the glass from her and headed inside.
Once I’d gotten her a refill, I made my way outside again and set it on the table between our chairs. Gran’s eyes were closed and her lips were twisted into a tiny smile. She looked more peaceful than I’d ever seen her.
“Gran?” I called to her, lightly touching her arm. “Gran, let’s get you inside so you can rest.”
My body froze when she didn’t stir. My bear picked up on the stillness of her and released a loud growl, realizing before I could that she was gone. The porch swayed beneath me as the knowledge settled in. My lungs burned for air, but I’d forgotten how to breathe. Tears filled my eyes.
Even though I’d known this moment would come, it didn’t make it hurt any less.
My fingers fumbled for my cell in my back pocket, and I dialed Nash’s number. It rang once before he answered, almost as though he knew Gran would pass tonight.
“Hey. Is everything all right?” He asked. I couldn’t find my voice to answer him. “Sam?”
I swallowed hard and then pulled in a breath. “No.
It’s Gran.” The words fell from my quivering lips twisted within a sob. I couldn’t say that she was gone, but I knew that I didn’t need to. Nash would understand. He would know.
“Shit. I’ll be right there.” He hung up, and the silence that echoed around me was deafening.
My gaze drifted back to Gran. I focused on how peaceful she looked, thinking she almost looked as though she was sleeping. While my heart ached because she was gone, I found solace in her slight smile. It had hope blooming through me that her passing might have been peaceful.
I clung to that thought.
I didn’t know how long I stood there, locked inside my head, but soon strong hands slid along my shoulders and turned me to face a solid chest.
Nash.
I melted against him and the flood gate that had been keeping my tears at bay lifted. My tears drenched Nash’s gray t-shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he squeezed me tighter, tucking my head beneath his chin and holding me close.
“I’m so sorry, Sam,” he whispered, and I knew he meant what he said because he felt the loss of Gran as deeply as I did.
“I think she’s in a better place,” I said, my voice shaky and soft. “I think she went peacefully.”
“Yeah, me too.”
My tears flowed harder.
“Tell me what you need,” Nash insisted. He wanted to comfort me, and for that, I was thankful. “Tell me what I can do.”
“Just hold me. Stay with me.”
“For as long as you want.” He placed a soft kiss to the top of my head. “And always.”
I buried my face into his chest and let myself fall apart.
When I wasn’t able to produce any more tears, I untangled myself from Nash and took a step back.
“We should call the others. Everyone needs to know that she passed,” I said, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
“I’ll call them.”
Nash pulled out his cell and began tapping around, the blue glow of its screen illuminating his face. His brows pulled together, and sadness swirled through his eyes. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried not to look at Gran as I headed inside for a sip of water. Nash’s voice was muffled as he talked. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, and I didn’t want to. Instead, I grabbed a cup from the cabinet by the sink and tried to think of the last thing I’d said to Gran.
Sure. My last words to her had been sure.
I knew I’d just told her that I loved her right before that, but I wished I’d been able to tell her one more time—to reiterate how much I loved her.
“I called Liam,” Nash said, startling me. I hadn’t heard him come inside. He crossed to where I stood at the sink and turned the faucet off. I smoothed a hand over my face. I hadn’t realized I’d left the tap on. “He’s going to tell the others. Are you okay?”
I locked eyes with him. Tears built even though I didn’t think it was possible. They fell from my eyes in large drops that tracked down my cheeks. I shook my head, my face twisting into an ugly expression while I continued to cry. “No. I’m not okay.”
Nash pulled me to him again. “I’m here with you. We’ll get through this together,” he said. “I promise.”
A knock sounded at the door.
Nash filled my glass with tap water and handed it to me before answering the door. His gesture was sweet, but it made me cry even harder because I was so thankful that he was sticking to his word.
He was here. Nash was with me. And we were going to get through this together.
“Hey, I came as soon as I heard. I wanted to see how Sam is doing.” Tris’s voice floated through the cabin to my ears.
“She’s hurting, and pretty shook up, but she’ll be okay,” Nash replied. “I’m seeing to it.”
I stepped into the living room. The moment Tris saw me, tears immediately burst from her eyes. She crossed to where I stood and pulled me in for a hug.
“I’m so sorry,” she insisted. “Your Gran was such an amazing woman. She’s the reason I’m here. I owe her so much for telling me to come to this place.”
“I didn’t know that,” I whispered, shocked as she released me.
Gran mentioned Tris multiple times, but mainly about her being Liam’s mate as well as the clan’s Mystic.
“Yeah, I stopped to eat at Earl’s Diner the night I was fleeing my ex. She bought my meal and told me about this place. She said I could rent an RV for the night or for as long as I needed,” Tris said with a slight smile. “She showed me kindness in a moment when I needed it so badly, and I’ll forever be thankful to her because of it.”
“That sounds like Gran. She always did try to help others.” I wiped at my tears. “I remember one summer there was a couple who came through the campground that were foster parents. They had three four-year-old girls they were fostering at the time, and they also had two biological children of their own close to the same age. When Gran found out they were foster parents, she made a point to thank them for what they were doing and then went to the dollar store that afternoon to buy each kid something small. I’ll never forget the look on the parent’s faces, but mostly I think I’ll always remember the look on Gran’s face that day. You would’ve thought she’d won the lottery; she was so happy.” I laughed.
“As I said, she was an amazing woman,” Tris insisted, wiping tears from her eyes. “She’s going to be missed.”
My throat pinched tight. “I know.”
Another knock sounded at the door, and this time when Nash answered it, the cabin filled with members of the clan. Their hugs and gentle touches not only comforted me, but they settled my bear, giving us the sense of family and support we needed.
The sense of home.
Epilogue
Grief looks different for everyone. For me, it was filled with nearly overwhelming amounts of sadness, laughter at old stories, cravings for the support of my clan, clinging to Nash, and exhaustion so deep it penetrated my bones, making them ache.
Grief for me also looked like not stepping foot inside Gran’s cabin in four weeks because the pain was too much.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Nash asked from where he stood, leaning against the doorframe of his master bedroom.
I’d spent the last four weeks at his cabin, avoiding Gran’s place like the plague. Now, I was ready to go back. I was ready to feel close to her again.
“Yeah,” I said as I tucked my hair behind my ear and then zipped up my suitcase. “I need to clear out some of her things, so there’s space for mine. The movers will be here in two days.”
I’d only made one trip back to Denton since Gran’s passing, and it was only to box up my things with Karen and Nash’s help and hire a moving company to ship everything from Denton to Gem Creek. The moving company had been a gift from Karen. I hadn’t turned her gift away. It saved me from having to rent a box truck, and I loved that she was so generous.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Nash asked.
I glanced at him, noticing when he rubbed the back of his neck. It was one of his telltale signs that he was nervous. We’d been inseparable since Gran’s passing. I knew he wanted to help me go through her things—to be there for me—but I felt like this was something I needed to do on my own.
“I’m sure,” I said in a soft tone. “I’ll call you if it gets to be too much.”
“Promise?” Nash asked.
“Promise.”
He nodded, even though I could tell from the way his jaw tensed that he wanted to press the issue. I hauled my suitcase off the bed and stacked it in the corner with the boxes we’d filled last night of Nash’s things.
I wanted to move back into Gran’s cabin, and he’d decided to come with me.
It was the only option. There was no way Nash and I could live apart. Our bears would rebel too much, but I like to think neither of us would be able to hack it either. Nash had already talked to Liam about putting his cabin back on the website as a rental to increase the income of the c
ampground and he’d agreed.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later then,” Nash said.
I flashed him a smile before heading out the door.
My heart raced as I walked to Gran’s cabin. I didn’t know how I’d feel when I started up the front steps, but it was what I’d feel when I stepped inside that scared me most. I didn’t want to break apart again, or to feel the intense pain I had the day she passed again. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it a second time. However, I didn’t want to run from it anymore either.
The aroma of hot dogs cooking on a grill hung heavily in the air as I passed by some campers. Nausea rolled through my stomach, and I thought I might be sick.
My nerves were getting the best of me.
I pulled in a deep breath through my nose and then exhaled through my mouth. When the cabin came into view, I felt my heart skip a few beats. It still looked the same.
How was that even possible?
It shouldn’t be. There should be some subtle differences, some sort of sadness oozing from the cabin because it missed her.
Yet, there was nothing.
I wiped beads of sweat from my forehead and placed one foot in front of the other as I made my way to the door. My hand shook when I reached for the knob. For a fleeting moment, I imagined she’d be there, sitting in her recliner with her feet propped up and whatever paperback she was currently reading clutched in her hands.
She wasn’t.
When I opened the door, the space was entirely devoid of her presence. The air had grown stale inside, and so had the energy of the place. It was no longer charged with the vibrant life of Gran.
My heart ached, and the same exhaustion I always seemed to feel these days weighed down on me, making my limbs feel heavy. I glanced at the cardboard boxes Tris and Liam had gathered from the diner and stacked in the corner of the living room for me. There were six of them, and I found myself wondering if that was too many or if it wouldn’t be enough.
Consumed (Gem Creek Bears Book 7) Page 10