The evenings were the most difficult for him, when they sat on his sofa to watch television and all he could think about was the kiss they had shared and how much he wanted to kiss her again.
She made him laugh and she made him feel more alive than he had in years. She was so easy to talk to. They had spent one evening talking about their childhoods and he’d told her more than he’d ever told anyone about the struggles he and Suzanna had encountered as children of addicts.
He had told her about living in squalor and never having enough to eat. There had been endless seedy motels and even seedier men lurking around.
Child Protective Services had never gotten involved, probably because they were never in one place long enough.
He confessed to her that the times when their mother cleaned up were the scariest times of all, because he and Suzanna had known it wouldn’t last. They both knew not to believe or trust that their home life might really get better because it never really did.
Monica made him forget every other woman he had ever dated in his life. Being around her was intoxicating and he was desperately trying to stay sober. The problem was that more and more, she seemed to be attempting to seduce him.
She sat too close to him on the sofa and she touched him often...light and simple touches that nevertheless kept a coil of tension twisted tight in his stomach.
He often felt her gaze lingering on him. He was afraid to return the gaze, feeling as if he’d fall into the depths of her blue eyes and do something really stupid.
This evening was no different, except the tension inside him was at an all-time high. Once again they were seated on the sofa after having eaten a pizza he’d had delivered.
Monica sat close enough to him that he could feel her body heat as her scent filled his head. She’d been quiet all evening, which was unusual.
“Have you spoken with your father today?” he asked to break the silence that had become heavy between them.
“No, why?”
“You’ve just been really quiet, and I wondered if maybe you’d spoken with him and he depressed you.”
“No, I didn’t talk with him today,” she replied. She looked back at the television, which was playing some inane comedy show that she hadn’t been paying attention to.
She watched television for several minutes and then turned back to face him. “You know what’s really bothering me tonight?”
“What?”
Her cheeks took on a pink hue. “Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.”
“What is it? You know you can say anything to me.”
“Forget it,” she said, and looked back at the television.
“Monica, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong.” She looked down at her hands in her lap and then gazed back at him. There was a bold look in her eyes. “It’s just...I can’t stop thinking about the kiss we shared.”
He stared at her and his breath caught in the back of his throat. “Have you been thinking about it at all?” she asked.
He swallowed hard. “It’s crossed my mind a time or two.”
“Then why haven’t you tried to kiss me again?”
God, she was killing him. He raked his hands through his hair and drew in several deep, steadying breaths. “Because it wouldn’t be fair to you.”
She leaned closer to him. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t it be fair?”
He felt as if he was being strangled with his desire for her and she was helping him tighten the noose. “Because I told you before that I don’t want a relationship with anyone.”
She frowned and didn’t take her gaze off him. “But what if we were both on the same page about that? What if I don’t want a relationship with anyone, either, and I just want you to kiss me again?”
He tried to look away from her. He desperately fought for self-control. One of them had to be the smarter one in this situation.
Her frown deepened. “Maybe the truth is I’m a bad kisser. Maybe the real problem is you just really don’t want to kiss me again.”
“Oh, woman, you have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to kiss you again,” he half growled.
She moved so close to him on the sofa she was practically sitting in his lap. “Then kiss me, Jake. I desperately need you to kiss me again right now.”
He had the single thought that he was an absolute fool, that they were both complete fools, before his mouth captured hers. Instantly fire leaped into his veins as he tasted her soft, pillowy lips.
She moaned deep in the back of her throat as she allowed him to deepen the kiss. Her arms rose and her hands moved to the back of his head as she moved closer and closer still to him.
She was so warm and her breasts pressed against him as if to torment him further. Someplace in the back of his mind he knew he should stop this, that he should pull away from her and halt the sweet rush of adrenaline that filled his veins. However, that voice was just a whisper beneath the shout of his desire for her.
She certainly didn’t seem inclined to stop the kiss. She moved her hands from the back of his head to his shoulders and actually continued to pull him closer.
He was lost to her, in her.
He couldn’t think rationally when he was kissing her. When she was in his arms his brain froze and he was nothing more than his need and want of her.
Finally she pulled back from him. Her eyes appeared to blaze a blue he’d never seen before. He took a moment to breathe.
“Jake, I want you to make love to me.”
Her words punched him square in the gut and all the air left his body. All he could think about was having her naked and in his arms. Right or wrong, foolish or not, he didn’t want to think anymore.
“Please, Jake.” She got up from the sofa and held her hand out to him. “Take me to your bed and make love to me.”
He stumbled to his feet and took her hand. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Her certainty shone from her eyes and filled her voice.
There were a dozen steps or so where either one of them could have changed their mind about what was about to happen. But neither of them spoke a word as they headed down the hallway toward his master bedroom.
* * *
MONICA HAD FOUGHT her growing desire for Jake for what seemed like forever. Kissing him again had only made her want him more. Over the last couple of days the sexual tension between them had been off the charts. And tonight she decided to follow through on that desire.
They entered his large bedroom and the butterflies that danced in her chest had her half-breathless. The only light in the room was the soft illumination that shone from a lamp on his nightstand.
He immediately pulled her back in his arms and took her lips with his once again. His mouth was hot and demanding as his hands tangled in the length of her hair and he held her so close she could tell he was fully aroused.
His mouth left hers and he trailed kisses behind her ear and down the side of her throat. A shiver shot down her spine at the hot sensations he evoked in her. Then once again his lips returned to hers.
It had been a long time since she’d allowed herself to be this vulnerable with any man, and yet something about Jake made her feel safe...safe to explore an intimate moment with him.
She ended the kiss and stepped back from him. Holding his gaze, she unfastened her shorts and stepped out of them, leaving her in the wispy pink silk underpants she’d put on that morning.
She heard his breath catch as his gaze swept down the length of her bare legs. He yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor.
He had a beautiful chest with well-defined muscles and skin that looked so warm and touchable. His eyes burned with a wildness that only excited her more.
He walked over to her and began to unfasten the buttons on her blouse. She held her bre
ath as he caressed and then kissed each inch of skin that was revealed. When he finished with the last button, he gently pushed the blouse off her shoulders. It fell to the floor behind her.
She watched breathlessly as he stepped back from her and took off his jeans. He had a beautiful body. His stomach was flat and his hips were lean and his long legs were perfectly shaped.
They got into the bed and instantly their legs entwined as they kissed once again. It was another hot kiss that stirred her desire for him to a new level.
He stroked up and down her back with hands that felt fevered against her skin and she did the same, loving the play of his back muscles beneath her fingers.
His lips slid off hers and once again he trailed nipping, teasing kisses down the side of her neck. At the same time his fingers unfastened her bra. He plucked it from her and tossed it away.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered in her ear. “And I feel like I’ve wanted you since the moment you barged into my life.”
“I feel the same way about you,” she said breathlessly, and then gasped as his hands moved to caress her breasts. Then his mouth was there, licking and sucking first one taut nipple and then the other. Electric currents ran through her and her need for him grew.
Within minutes they were both naked and exploring each other’s bodies with kisses and touches meant to bring the most pleasure.
It was beyond pleasurable. She was lost in a haze of sweet sensations. As his hand moved down her stomach to touch at the very core of her, she thought she might explode.
Gently at first, his fingers moved against her in a rhythm that had her gasping. She arched up, needing...demanding more from him. He increased the pressure of his touch and quickened and suddenly she was there, falling over a cliff as wave after wave of pleasure washed through her.
“Yes...oh yes,” she cried breathlessly.
For a moment she was limp, boneless in his arms as she attempted to catch her breath. He leaned down and kissed her, the kiss filled with his own hunger.
She reached down and took hold of him. He was fully aroused and he released a deep moan at her touch. Just that quickly she wanted more of him. She wanted all of him.
She stroked his velvety length slowly at first and then more quickly. He moaned again and grabbed her hand to stop her.
He disentangled from her and rolled over to the nightstand. He opened the top drawer and withdrew a condom. She took it from him, ripped the foil and then rolled the condom onto him. For a long moment their gazes locked. She lay back and silently invited him onto her, into her.
He eased into her with a deep sigh and she closed her eyes as new waves of pleasure shuddered through her. Slowly he began to stroke into her as she gripped his taut buttocks.
She thrust her hips up to meet him, half-wild and out of control. It didn’t take long for him to start to stroke faster...deeper, and then she was there again, her climax making her cry out his name.
He stiffened against her and groaned as his own climax gripped him. Neither of them moved; the only sound in the room was their panting breaths slowing to a more normal rhythm.
Languidly she stroked a hand up and down his back. “That was wonderful,” she said.
“It was better than wonderful.” He kissed her gently on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.” He rolled off her and then disappeared into the master bathroom.
She stared up at the ceiling and released a deep sigh. She’d half hoped that he sucked in bed, that he would be a selfish or lazy lover. If that had been the case then she’d be over him and she would have easily gotten him out of her head.
But he hadn’t been any of those things. He’d been tender and giving and more than wonderful as a lover. Right at this moment, with her body sated and the scent of him lingering on her skin, she knew it was going to be very hard to get him out of her head.
She’d like to stay in bed and cuddle with him, remain in his arms and talk about dreams and hopes and the kind of afterglow conversation most couples indulged in after making love. And that’s why she got up.
She was half-dressed when he came out of the bathroom wearing a black robe. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at her thoughtfully. “Uh...maybe we should talk about things?” he said tentatively.
“There’s really nothing to talk about.” She pulled her blouse on and began to button it. “Neither one of us wants any kind of a romantic relationship and nothing about what just happened between us changes that.”
She finger-combed her hair and smiled at him. “Let’s not make this complicated, Jake. We desired each other, we acted on that desire, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re both single adults. Look at it this way, we’re friends with benefits, right?”
He looked relieved. “Okay, then I’ll just get dressed and we can go back to television watching until it’s time to sit on Adam’s house.”
“Perfect,” she replied, and left him alone in his bedroom. She returned to the family room and sank down on the sofa. She’d talked a good game with Jake just now, but the truth was her heart was starting to get involved with him.
They definitely needed to identify the killer soon so she could get back to her own life and try to forget about Jake Lamont. In the meantime, she definitely needed to hang on to her heart.
Minutes later he rejoined her in the family room but instead of sitting next to her on the sofa, he sank down in his recliner.
“I was just thinking I’ve been very lax,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow. “I would definitely dispute that statement, especially given this evening’s uh...activities.”
Warmth leaped into her cheeks. “I wasn’t talking about this evening. I’m talking about since I’ve been here. I haven’t even called a glass company to get my front window fixed.”
“There’s no real hurry on that,” he replied. “Surely you’re not thinking about going back to your house anytime soon?”
“Jake, I need to go home eventually. I’m going to call first thing in the morning and set something up. Would you mind taking me there sometime tomorrow so I can get it done?”
“Just let me know what time and of course I’ll take you there,” he replied.
They made small talk and watched television until eleven and then drove to Adam’s house and parked across the street. Despite the fact that he had just had her in his bed, she was acutely aware of him. His scent...the memory of his touches, just his very presence in the small confines of the car ignited a new flame of desire in the pit of her stomach.
The sex had been amazing, but her desire for him went beyond the actual physical act of lovemaking. She wanted his arms wrapped around her. She wanted to cuddle with him and press her face in the hollow of his neck where she knew she’d smell his scent. She wanted to gaze into his beautiful eyes and talk about their innermost hopes and fears.
What was wrong with her? The last thing she wanted was an emotional connection with him. Sex was fine, but anything deeper or more profound than that was out of the question.
Their surveillance that night passed uneventfully. He was unusually quiet and she filled the silence chattering about her desire to get a little black schnauzer when this was all over.
The next morning she called the glass company to set up an appointment. “He can’t meet us until four thirty this afternoon,” she told Jake as they sat at the table drinking coffee.
“We’ll be there,” he replied.
He’d been a bit distant all morning... quiet and withdrawn. Was it because of their lovemaking? Or was he just tired of having her as a houseguest?
Maybe it was time she really thought about moving back home. While the gunfire that had nearly killed them was still fresh in her mind and the idea of being there all alone was daunting, perhaps she had worn out her welcome here.
They could still do their nightly surveillance, bu
t during the days they’d have their distance from each other.
“I guess the police didn’t figure anything out about who shot at us since nobody has called us with any follow-up information,” she said, breaking the silence that had built up to be oppressive between them.
“I didn’t expect them to have anything for us,” he replied. “Drive-by shootings have got to be one of those crimes that are difficult to solve.”
“Along with crazy serial killers,” she added.
He frowned into his coffee cup and then looked back at her. “I keep thinking there’s got to be a more efficient way to out the killer, but damned if I can come up with anything.” His frustration was rife in his voice.
She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “We’re doing the best we can, Jake.”
“I can’t go to the police with my gut instincts and without any kind of evidence.” He pulled his hand from hers. “I need to stop him before he kills another person.”
“So, if it’s Adam, then you intend to call the police when he leaves his house in the middle of the night?”
“Monica, it isn’t against the law to leave your house no matter what time it is. I intend to follow him to his victim’s house and wait until he breaks in, then I’ll take him down and call the police.”
She stared at him. “Jake, that’s way too dangerous,” she said softly.
“I told you before I intended to do that,” he replied.
“I guess it didn’t compute in my brain before. I don’t want you to put yourself in that kind of situation.”
His eyes were dark. “It’s the only way to take down a killer I helped create.”
“Jake, you can’t take credit for creating a monster. Whether this is Adam or somebody else, they had more than a little bit of monster already inside them before you six got together.”
Desperate Measures (Harlequin Intrigue) Page 10