He laughed. “Afraid not.” In the moonlight that spilled down, his features were visible. His smile fell away, and he reached out to shove a strand of her hair away from the side of her face.
There it was... She could swear it was love pouring from his eyes, in his gentle touch. She leaned toward him but he dropped his hand to his side and stepped back.
“You know, we don’t have to do this. We can just go back home and call it a night,” he said, as if he’d accurately identified the faint fear that whispered through her as she thought of going up on the beams.
“No, I want to do this, but I will admit I have this little thing about heights. As long as you promise me I won’t fall, then I’ll be fine.”
“I promise you’ll be fine,” he assured her. He took her hand in his and led her to the cage that would take them up. Before they started the ascent, he helped her with putting on a safety harness and then he put one on himself. “I also promise this will be a wonderful experience for you.”
As the cage began to take them up, he pulled her close to him. “Can you hear my heartbeat?” she asked.
He smiled at her. “No, I can’t hear it. Is it racing?”
“Like a horse at the Kentucky Derby.”
“You just tell me if and when you want to go back down and we will.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine once I get up there,” she replied. As they continued upward she kept her gaze on him, refusing to look down to the ground below.
Just looking at him and feeling his arm around her eased most of her fear. This was a man who had saved her life when bullets had flown through her front window. He’d tried to talk her out of partnering with him a dozen times because he was trying to keep her safe.
If he thought this was dangerous then they wouldn’t be doing it. He would have never put his sister in danger, either. Monica knew without doubt that he would never willingly put her at risk. Knowing this took away any lingering fear she might have entertained.
When they reached the sixteenth floor they stopped, and before she stepped out of the cage, he hooked her harness onto a safety line that ran waist-high across the beam. He then did the same for himself.
“Ready?” he asked. He pulled a flashlight out of his coat pocket, hooked it onto his belt loop and clicked it on.
“I think so.”
“I’ll go first and if you want to hang on to my shirt or whatever, then you can. We’ll take it slow and easy and then stop when we get about midway across.”
Midway looked like a long ways away as she stared across the narrow steel beam. “And you swear this safety line will hold me if the worst thing happens and I misstep and fall? You know I’ve put on a few pounds since I’ve been staying with you.”
A low rumble of laughter escaped him. “Honey, these safety lines work for men three times your size, even if you have put on a few pounds. You ready?”
“Yes, I’m ready.” She drew in a deep, steadying breath.
As he began to walk across the beam, she followed right behind him, her hand holding on to the back of his shirt. Thankfully he took small steps.
When they reached about the halfway mark, he turned toward her. “I’ll help you sit.”
He steadied her while she sat, her legs dangling into dark nothingness. When he sank down next to her, she immediately placed a hand on his thigh, needing to touch him in order to stay grounded.
There was a bit of a breeze that smelled clean and fresh, but held a faint scent of approaching rain. Up here the skies looked different than they did on the ground. The stars looked so much bigger and brighter without the effect of city lights dulling their brilliance.
“Whatever possessed you and Suzanna to do this in the first place?” she asked.
“It was actually Suzanna’s idea. She wanted to be closer to the stars and so she talked me into going up in a building we were working on at the time.”
Monica looked out and up. “I definitely feel closer to the stars up here. It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, but I see a few clouds creeping in.”
“Hopefully we’ll have plenty of time for you to point out all of Suzanna’s favorite stars to me before any storm moves in,” she replied.
“I’m not sure she had a favorite.” He pointed. “Can you see the Big Dipper there?”
She followed his finger and spied the constellation. “I see it.”
“Suzanna used to say the Big Dipper held all the rainbows and occasionally those rainbows would spill over and fall to the earth.”
“That’s beautiful,” Monica said. She couldn’t help it, she felt so close to him at this moment she grabbed his hand in hers. “I think I would have liked your sister.”
“I think she would have liked you, too,” he replied. “You probably would have been good friends.”
“I don’t have many friends right now. I’ve been so focused on my work I’ve kind of neglected all the friends I once had.”
“Maybe it’s time you rectify that,” he replied.
“Maybe. What about you? Do you have friends?” During the time she’d stayed with him, she didn’t think he’d received any calls except business ones.
“No. All the friends I once had went away while I was going through my grief and rage period. I pushed them all away.”
“Maybe it’s time you rectify that.” She echoed his words back to him.
“I really don’t want to rectify it. I’m good alone.”
Once again her heart broke for the wonderful man seated next to her. He was a man who laughed easily, a man who appeared to love life, and yet he intended to live only half a life.
For several moments they both gazed up. “Oh, did you see that?” she exclaimed. “A shooting star.”
“I saw it.” His voice was soft. “Suzanna used to say that shooting stars were the souls of people who have been released from purgatory and are now on their ascent to heaven.”
She squeezed his hand as she heard the deep emotion in his voice. She had a feeling for some reason Jake was trapped in his own purgatory. She just wished if that was the case, that he’d find his way out before she was forced to walk out of his life in the morning.
Chapter Ten
For the next half an hour Jake continued to point out the various constellations in the sky. He was vaguely surprised by how many he remembered Suzanna teaching him about.
He was also surprised that thoughts of Suzanna didn’t evoke the piercing, agonizing grief anymore, but instead just brought up a deep and profound sadness that he would never be able to spend time with her again.
Even though he was sharing Suzanna’s stars, most of his thoughts up here belonged to the woman who sat next to him and held his hand.
If things were different he could have easily imagined a life with Monica. She enchanted him with her humor. She challenged him with her intellect and she humbled him with the love he felt radiating from her to him.
It was possible she might be brokenhearted when she left his house in the morning, but she’d get over him. Even though he’d jokingly told her he had no skeletons in his closet, he had lied.
Eventually she would find a good man who truly had no skeletons, a man who could love her with open arms and an open heart. But that man wasn’t him.
“Was Suzanna always into the stars, or was it an interest she developed as an adult?” Monica asked.
“I think it all started when she was about ten and I bought her a poster that showed all the constellations. I tacked the poster on the ceiling above where she slept. Whenever we moved I made sure the poster always came with us.”
He paused thoughtfully. “We never knew where we would live or when we’d get our next meal. Sometimes we were awakened in the middle of the night to sneak away from a landlord my parents owed money to. With all the chaos of our childhood, me and the stars were the
only real constants in her life.”
“You shame me,” she replied.
“How so?”
“I complain that my father doesn’t respect my work and I don’t believe he loves me as much as I’d like, but I always had a beautiful bedroom and woke up in the same house every morning. I always had food and heat and water and I can’t imagine what horror you and your sister went through as children.”
“Unfortunately we don’t get to pick our parents,” he replied.
She squeezed his hand. “I would have picked far better parents for you and your sister.”
“Thanks. But that all seems like a lifetime ago.”
“So, are you already dreaming of the next building you’d like to see or have you been commissioned by somebody to build another one?”
“I’ve had a developer contact me about another project, but we’re just in the talking stage. It’s a smaller office building up north. I’m sure in the back of your brain you’re always working on a story for your podcast.”
“I thought I had my big story, but that’s all fizzled away. I know there will always be another story.”
“I still find it hard to believe this man turned himself in. It just doesn’t seem to be characteristic of that particular killer.”
“I can’t imagine the police doing that press conference without having corroborating evidence,” she replied. “But I don’t want to talk about killers, I want more talk about stars and hopes and dreams.”
And that’s what they did. He talked to her about his ideas for buildings that would transform the modest skyline of Kansas City into something magical. “We’re never going to be a New York or San Francisco, but there’s no reason why we can’t make the skyline here something people talk about,” he said.
She then talked about wanting to be the reporter Kansas City looked to for local stories and news they could trust. “I like going beyond the stories and talking to the people who are affected by crimes. That’s why initially I wanted you on my podcast.”
He chuckled. “You were rather tenacious. I couldn’t believe it when you turned up at my house.”
“I’m not sure I would have done that if I hadn’t gotten the information about you attending those meetings.”
They fell silent for several minutes. The breeze had picked up a bit and cooled off. Thoughts of his sister flitted through his head. He was confident Suzanna would have approved of him bringing Monica up here to see the stars.
Yes, he was certain Monica and Suzanna would have been great friends. They both shared a zest for life and a great sense of humor.
“Have you ever thought about living someplace else?” she asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“Never,” he replied easily. “This is my hometown and I love it here. What about you?”
“Same. I think this is a great city to live in and I’ve never wanted to live anyplace else. It’s not only a great place to live but I think it’s a great place to raise children.”
There was part of him that never wanted this time...these moments with her to end. Unfortunately the clouds had begun to thicken, the cooler breeze had begun to blow, and he thought he heard a distant rumble of thunder.
“I think it’s time for us to head down,” he said reluctantly. “It looks like a storm is moving closer and this is the last place we want to be if it starts to lightning.”
“Okay, but there’s just one more thing I need to say to you,” she replied.
A new tension wafted from her and he knew instinctively he didn’t want to hear what she was about to say. What little moonlight was left shone on her face and bathed her features in a silvery glow as she gazed at him.
“I’m in love with you, Jake.”
He stared at her in dismay, wanting her to take back the words that had just fallen out of her mouth. From the corner of his eye he caught a movement. He gazed past her and froze.
Matt Harrison stepped out of the cage, a gun in his hand. And there was only one reason he would be here. The police had gotten things wrong.
Adrenaline spiked through Jake’s body. In an instant he made a decision... He shoved Monica off the beam. She screamed with terror as she went flying down below the beam and into the darkness.
Jake got to his feet and grabbed his gun. With the other hand he clicked off his flashlight, knowing that it would make him more of a visible target if it was on.
“Matt, what are you doing here?” he yelled above Monica’s panicked screams. Jake was sorry about what he’d just done to her, but at least with her dangling in the air below the beam and not between the two men, she wasn’t an immediate and easy target.
“You know why I’m here. You’re weak, Jake,” Matt yelled back.
Monica finally grew silent and he wondered if she’d passed out with fear. “What are you talking about?” Jake asked.
“You know what I’m talking about. You broke the rules by working with that reporter. Have you told her everything? Is she going to break a big story and out me? Have you told her about our murder pact?”
“What murder pact?” Monica screamed from out of the darkness. “Nobody told me anything about a murder pact.” Jake drew a breath of relief, knowing she was okay. “Jake is my boyfriend and I don’t have any idea who you are or why you’re bothering us.”
Jake’s hand tightened on his gun as a flight-or-fight tension overtook him. Only there would be no flight. He couldn’t run from this, especially knowing that Monica wouldn’t be safe. But he wouldn’t have run even if she wasn’t here.
This was what he’d wanted. The ability to stop the killer. It pained him that it was Matt and that the man was now here to continue a reign of terror.
“Matt, what are you doing? I thought we were good friends. Why don’t we all get down from here and go someplace where we can have a beer together and really talk?” He didn’t want to have to kill Matt. What he’d like to do was talk Matt into turning himself in.
“We were friends, Jake, but that all changed when you hooked up with that reporter. I’m not letting you take me down.”
“I don’t want to take you down. I want you to turn yourself in and get some help.” A flash of lightning split the sky, followed by a rumble of thunder. “Come on, Matt. Let’s go have a few beers and then I’ll go with you to a police station.”
“You don’t understand, Jake. I have a calling now. It’s my moral duty and job to kill all the guilty people in this city.”
“Did you shoot out Monica’s front window?” Jake inched backward on the beam.
“Yeah, that was me. You two have been a bit of a problem when it comes to killing you.” Matt didn’t move from his position. Jake suddenly realized that apparently the man had been so eager to get to them he hadn’t put on a safety harness and wasn’t tied into the safety line.
Jake continued to inch backward, so that he was next to an upward beam. “Matt, this isn’t a calling. It’s a sickness. I think something broke inside of you when your mother was killed.”
God, Jake didn’t want to shoot Matt, especially knowing even if he only wounded him the man would probably fall to his death. He didn’t want Matt dead; he wanted him arrested.
He didn’t want to be killed by Matt, either. If Matt managed to kill him then he would surely kill Monica as well, and Jake couldn’t let that happen.
“Damn straight something broke inside me,” Matt screamed, his voice filled with rage. “She was a saint, Jake. My mother was such a good, loving mother. She was a God-fearing woman who volunteered at a homeless shelter and that piece of crap beat her to death. I have nightmares about the pain and suffering she endured in those horrific moments before her death. This is my job, to rid the world of creeps, and you know what the best part is? I like it. I like it a lot and nobody is going to stop me.”
In another flash of lightning, Jake saw his inten
t. Jake jumped behind the beam as Matt fired his gun. Monica screamed once again.
Lightning once again split the sky as Jake leaned out and fired on Matt. He missed and Matt laughed. It was the hysterical laughter of a man who had lost touch with reality.
“God is speaking, Jake. Don’t you hear him in the thunder? He’s telling me that I’m his warrior on earth.” Matt fired his gun once again.
Sirens whooped in the distance. Had somebody heard the gunfire and called the police? Jake would gladly tell them his role in this if it meant getting Matt off the streets.
Still, even if the police arrived they couldn’t exactly get up here and place Matt in handcuffs. There could be a hundred cop cars parked below them and they would be no help in this situation.
Ultimately only one man was going to come down from here. It was either going to be Jake or Matt. If it was Matt who survived then he prayed Monica would be able to tell the police enough to get him arrested.
The sirens grew closer and the thunder and lightning added to the chaos of the standoff between Jake and Matt. “Matt, the police are coming. You need to turn yourself in,” Jake yelled in a final attempt to end this without anyone getting hurt.
A bullet ricocheted off the steel column behind which Jake was hiding. It was obvious to him that Matt had no intention of turning himself in.
Several more shots sounded and Monica screamed once again. Jake’s heart stopped. Matt was now firing on Monica. She screamed and then moaned and then her screams stopped, and there was nothing but the thunder and the lightning and Jake’s terrified rage. Had she been hit? Oh God, was she dead?
Not caring for his own safety, driven only by his fear for Monica, he stepped out from behind the column. Half-blinded by the rain that had begun to fall and his own tears, he fired his gun over and over again.
* * *
MONICA CAME TO SUDDENLY. Her upper arm hurt like hell and a steady rain had begun to fall. From somewhere Jake was calling her name over and over again.
Desperate Measures (Harlequin Intrigue) Page 14