by Tabatha Kiss
“I’ve never known anybody who was actually happier after marriage,” she says. “I mean, my parents’ marriage was a gigantic mess. Papa ‘Gento cheated on Trix’s mom with her step-mother and then cheated on her, too. And don’t even get me started on you and Mel.”
Melanie’s head pokes out from the bedroom doorway again.
I clear my throat. “Yeah. You know, we don’t have to talk about me and her right now…”
“It’s the best example I have in my life for modern marriage,” she continues anyway. “It’s hot at first and fun as hell, but it doesn’t last. Nothing but stupid fights that go on for days. And you know, just between us, I always thought Melanie was a real dumbass for how she treated you.”
Melanie’s jaw drops.
I pause. “What do you mean?”
“Divorcing you like that,” she answers. “Instead of staying with you when all you needed was a little help. It was pretty selfish.”
Melanie disappears from the doorway again.
“The divorce was my idea, actually,” I say, defending my wife.
Nora shifts back, surprised. “It was?”
“She wanted to stay. She wanted to help me, but I saw what my addiction was doing to her so I made the call. Not her.”
“Why?”
“Because I was determined to destroy myself and I loved her enough to let her go before I took her down with me.”
Nora’s eyes fall.
“You’re right, Nor,” I say. “Marriage isn’t happily ever after. It’s just the start of all your troubles and if not, it sure as shit ain’t fixing any of them, either.”
“Then, what do I do?” she asks.
“You get married anyway,” I answer, “because it just might work out.”
“But what if it doesn’t?”
I smile. “Ah, but what if it does?”
I expect her to parry it back a few more times, but Nora goes quiet instead and sighs.
“Well, if he is going to propose, then I need to think of a better Christmas gift,” she says as she hops off her stool. “Mine just seems dumb now.”
I stand up. “Sleep on that, I think. Personally, I’d let him have this one. Don’t start your engagement with a competition.”
Nora grins. “But my punishment will be extra special if I do...”
I shake my head. “Sorry, Bubbles. Not my kink.”
“Prude,” she teases as she pops up and kisses my cheek. “Thanks, Robbie.”
“Any time.”
“See you at the Rose party tomorrow night?” she asks by the door.
I nod. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Nora waves. “Bye.”
“Bye, Nor.”
“Oh, hey!” She spins back around and walks up to me again. “Speaking of par-tay, what are you doing on December 23rd?”
“Nora, I don’t know what I’m doing two days from now, let alone two days before Christmas.”
She narrows her little eyes, disappointed. “Well, I know who’s getting a daily planner from me in his stocking this year.” She reaches into her handbag and pulls out a bright pink flier. “I am holding an event to help promote my new app. You should go. That way I know that at least… one person will be there.”
I take the flier. “Instantly Fall in Love this Christmas! Little Black Book presents Love in Sixty Seconds,” I read aloud. Then I cringe. “You’re hosting a speed-dating night?”
She points a stiff finger. “There are no bad ideas when it comes to marketing to horny people.”
“Hey, you’re the expert.”
“It was Clive’s idea, actually,” she says with a smile. “Not sure how he came up with it.”
I smirk. “He’s a man of mystery, that one.” I scan the rest of the flier and groan. “In the Botsford Plaza ballroom?”
“What’s wrong with the Plaza?”
“I’m going to smell like Cognac and body glitter all night.”
She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, I’m having a celebratory end of the year office party with my staff afterward. You can come to that, too. Trix and Lance will be there. Melanie, too! But don’t tell her I invited you or she’ll kill me.”
I chuckle. “Oh, I won’t.”
“So…” She bats those damn baby blue eyes. “You’ll go? Yes? Please?”
I place the flier on the counter. “I’ll have to check my planner,” I tease.
“Thanks, Robbie!” She slaps my arm as she turns on her heel. “I really appreciate it.”
“That wasn’t a yes!”
“Love you, byeeee!”
She leaves and I discreetly lock the door behind her to keep her from busting back inside.
When I turn around, I find Melanie standing in the bedroom doorway, still clinging to the blanket wrapped around her.She looks at me, her eyes dark and heavy, but she doesn’t seem angry at me for digging up our past.
“Thanks for lying,” she says.
“It wasn’t a lie,” I say.
She doubts. “I was the one who called the lawyer…”
I walk toward her and she goes quiet as I stop in front of her. “How about you let me have this one?” I say.
I wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her in close enough to kiss, but I wait until she tilts her head up. I wait until she closes the gap between us, wanting it as badly as I do.
I kiss her, and she lets the blanket fall.
Seventeen
Melanie
I tiptoe through Robbie’s apartment, searching for a pair of panties I haven’t seen in two days and wondering what the fuck I was thinking.
Sex good.
That’s it. That’s all I was thinking.
I didn’t even allow myself to finish thinking about the second part.
Sex good. Robbie bad.
Sex with Robbie good.
But Robbie bad.
I knew this. I’ve always known this, and yet, here I am on my hands and knees in search of my underwear because I apparently don’t have a modicum of self fucking control.
But it’s fine.
This is fine.
This is just a little temporary insanity, just like we said before. Just two crazy people whose bodies do crazy things when interlocked together, and the rest is history.
I swipe something cotton and I pull it out from beneath the sofa. “Finally,” I say to my panties.
I stand up and slide them on.
Now, jeans.
I had jeans.
Kitchen! I had jeans last in the kitchen.
Or was it the hallway?
I shuffle across the room, eyes squinting to find them in the dark. The sun is barely up, but I can already see that the sky and streets are clear. We’re not snowed-in anymore. It was a fun excuse while it lasted.
But it’s time for sanity to reign again.
A loud pop song breaks the silence.
My phone!
Shit…
At least I know where my jeans are now.
I lunge for them on the hallway floor, reaching for the phone in the pocket to shut it up. A photo of me and Nora illuminates the screen and I quickly answer it.
“Hi, Nora,” I whisper. “What’s up?”
“Hey,” she says. “Why are we whispering?”
I back away from the bedroom doorway. “Whispering? I’m not whispering.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I just… have a cold,” I lie, clearing my throat. “Winter always plays hell on my tonsils.”
“Are you too sick to do lunch today?” she asks. “I’m stuck in the office for the third Saturday in a row getting PK launch-ready, but mostly I miss you and I could use some therapeutic Melanie time.”
“And the free food that usually comes along with it?”
“You saw right through that, huh?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, we can do lunch. I’ll be there…” I glance around for a clock. “Wait, what time it is?”
“Ten-thirty,” she answers, laughing. “Were you up all night w
riting?”
“… Yeah,” I lie.
“Good! I love me some groggy workaholic Melanie.”
“You do?” I ask.
“You always seem happier when you’re getting shit done. What can I say? I like my friends as happy as me!”
I glance toward the bedroom behind me. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
“So, I’ll see you at noon?” she asks.
I nod. “I can do noon.”
“Sharp.”
“I can do noon-ish.”
She scoffs, amused. “See you then.”
“Bye.”
I hang up, quickly glancing toward the bedroom again. The lump in the bed hasn’t moved, thankfully. I could probably slip out without waking him, and part of me would love to do just that, but the other part knows how much of a dick move that would be. The last few nights were... not insignificant.
Closure, that’s the word.
We finally have some closure. Me and Robbie and all our baggage. We opened it up, laid it all out on the bed, folded it up, and put it away for good. It feels… as good as closure can feel and I want to keep it that way. I don’t want to leave here without the two of us being on the same page about where we go from here.
I scoop up my shoes and socks and purposefully plop down on my side of the bed. It rocks the mattress enough to stir any normal person, but Robbie still lies there like a log. I smile. So much of him has changed, but not that?
I bounce once. Still nothing.
I slide my socks on. I drop my feet to the floor with two loud thumps. I accidentally knock a shoe off the bed.
Robbie doesn’t move.
Is he dead?
Did my vagina kill him?
As I tie off my laces, I clear my throat. I let out a little cough. Then a louder one.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“Robbie?” I say.
“What?” he answers, his eyes still closed.
I scoff. “How long have you been awake?”
“How’s Nora?”
I grunt with frustration as his smile curls. “She’s fine. I’m heading to her office for lunch.”
Finally, he opens his eyes and looks me up and down.
“So, you’re leaving,” he says.
“I’ve got some words to write by Monday, so...” I shrug. “Time to get back to reality.”
He folds his arms beneath his head. “I guess that’s that,” he says.
“Yeah.” My eyes drift down his abs and my gut clenches. “That’s that.”
Robbie’s smirk curls a little deeper. He says nothing. Not out loud, anyway. His eyes speak volumes, though.
You’ll be back.
Bud. Nip.
Now.
“Look, Robbie, before I leave, I just want the two of us to... you know, walk away from this on the same page. You know what I mean?”
“Completely,” he says.
I stand up. “Okay, then... we’re cool?”
He nods. “Very cool.”
“Cool.” I take a step toward the door, but pause. “And that book is...?”
“What book?” he asks.
“The book we’re on the same page of.”
He props himself up onto his elbows. “Um...”
“Because I think that book should be something more along the lines of My Friend Flicka and not... the Kama Sutra, if you know what I mean.”
Robbie chuckles. “Flicka?”
“Not that the Kama Sutra isn’t great or anything. It came in handy last night.”
“Yes, it did.”
“But I think now would be a good chance for us to agree on a new book going forward.”
He thinks for a moment. “Blood Meridian?”
I sigh. “Thank you so much for taking this seriously.”
“Well, I don’t own a horse, so I’m not sure Flicka is the best path forward for us.”
“But you feel a 19th century gang—” I shut my mouth, throwing up my hands. “You know what? Never mind. Not worth it.”
“This is fun.” Robbie grins. “Isn’t this fun?”
I exhale hard. “Rob.”
“Melanie, I get it,” he says, sitting up. “I do.”
“You do?”
“You want to go back to business as usual, and I agree.”
“You do?”
“Sure. Why not? I had fun. You had fun. You had fun, right?”
“I had fun.”
“We had fun,” he says. “If that’s all it was, then that’s all it’ll be.”
“Okay.” I nod repeatedly. “Good. Great. This is... thanks for being so understanding. I appreciate it.”
“Any time.”
I step backward. “So, tonight at my parents’ party, you’re going to be cool. Right?”
“I am the definition of cool,” he says.
“Good.” I nod. “Okay, well, I’m going to leave now. Go meet Nora.”
“Say hi for me,” he says.
I nod again, though I definitely will not be doing that. She’ll only ask questions. “Thanks again. I had a nice weekend.”
“Me, too.”
I take a swift stride toward the door to get the hell out of here before—
“However...” he begins.
— that.
I bite down as I slowly turn back around.
Robbie stands up off the bed, still naked from head-to-toe. “You realize that no one wants to read a book about two people having bed-breaking sex... and then stopping?”
“Oh, please. That’s not true,” I say. “There are loads of books like that.”
“Name one.”
I open my mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. “I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll think of tons of them once I get some coffee.”
“Please keep me updated,” he says. “While you’re doing that, I’ll make a list of all the books that prove you wrong.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m leaving now.”
“Soulmates in Sixty Seconds,” he lists. “On His Knees. Oh, Three Nights in Rome! Can’t forget that one.”
I spin around to face him. “Oh, those don’t count! I wrote those.”
“Then, you know as well as anyone that you’ll—”
“No,” I say.
“— be—”
“Don’t you say it.”
“— back.”
I release a grunt and throw open the door. “Bye, Robbie.”
“Bye, Melanie. See you next time!”
I slam the door behind me, the sound more than a little satisfying. Damn, even our post-sex banter has gotten better, but I’ve got to stick to my guns here.
We had a fun weekend. Now it’s over.
It has to be over.
I head downstairs. The snow, which coated every inch of the world just a few hours ago, is now melting beneath the sun’s heat. So should my lust for everything Robbie, right? It shouldn’t be too difficult to go back to the way things were before.
This is my last Chicago winter.
And that was my last night with Robbie Wheeler.
Eighteen
Melanie
The lone security officer gives me a wave as I pass by his desk. Nora usually gives him notice when I’m planning on swinging by, but he’s seen me plenty of times before so he doesn’t bother stopping me. I smile, offering him a quick salute before heading toward the elevator.
I ride the car up to the fifteenth floor. While I’ve re-entered reality, it hasn’t quite entered me yet. My brain is still wrapped in a dense fog made of warm bedsheets and rough kisses…
I shake it off.
The elevator opens. The large, back-lit Little Black Book sign shines on the wall behind the empty receptionist desk. Nora treats her employees well, so I imagine she’s allowing them to work remotely through the storm if they’re needed, but she’s more of an in-office all-the-time kind of gal. The only lights on the floor come from her office. I spot her through the doorway, her blonde hair tied up in a messy ponytail as she pores o
ver a pile of paperwork at her desk.
I make my way around the cubicles, eager to take another step back into the real world again. “Hey, Nora,” I say as I pass through her office doorway. “What are you in the mood for today? Soup and sandwiches? Chicken wings? Oh—” There’s a brown bag on her desk which I instantly recognize from her favorite Japanese takeout joint. “Sushi? I’m in.”
She launches out of her office chair. “Now!” she shouts.
The door slams behind me. I jump in surprise, spinning around to find Trix hiding there.
I blink. “What the what?”
They rush toward me, each taking me by an arm and pulling me toward the chair in front of Nora’s desk.
“We got her!”
“Sit her down!”
“We’re sorry, Mel.”
“Very super sorry!”
I don’t fight them. I sit down, awkwardly twisting my arms back as Nora pulls a pair of handcuffs from her blazer.
“O-kay...” I say. “This is a thing we’re doing now?”
Trix cuffs my hands together. “Is that right?”
“No,” Nora says, taking charge, “they have to be tighter or she’ll slip out.”
“What are you — ow!” I flinch as Nora tightens the cuffs, pinching the skin around my wrists. “This is very unpleasant.”
“I know it hurts, but really and truly, this is for your own good,” Nora says, standing in front of me.
“And what exactly is for my own good?”
Trix stands beside her. They both cross their arms and straighten their faces, looking far more serious than the situation requires.
“Melanie, honey,” Nora says with the voice of primary school teacher, “as we all know, tonight is your parents’ annual holiday party.”
“Right.” I nod, waiting for more. “And?”
“And the holidays, while a season of joy for most people, can be... harder for others, and we just want to make sure you will not do something... that you’ll regret.”
“Something… like?”
Trix clears her throat. “Well, you know, it’s the holidays and all.”
I squint, confused.
“They can drudge up old feelings,” she says. “Feelings for certain… ex-husbands, for example.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Is this an intervention?”