by Lish McBride
Tevin wrapped his arms around himself, like he could hold the queasiness in. “Please stop.”
Val put down her cards. “No, my second-dearest cousin, I will not. You’re losing, and from all accounts, DuMonts do not lose. You may cheat, but you still win. You’re sullying the family name.”
“Second-dearest?”
“I’m currently the dearest because I didn’t get us kicked out of posh living, plus Kate’s not here,” Amaury said as he hailed a passing food cart, purchasing a thermos of coffee and several small tarts.
“And he’s going to give me one of those tarts,” Val added.
Amaury handed her the lemon one. “And I’m going to give her one of my tarts.”
“What will you do when we get home?” Val bit into the flaky crust. Amaury shoved a raspberry tart into his mouth whole. Tevin wasn’t sure if he wasn’t getting one because he was in trouble or because he would likely cast up his accounts all over the nice train floor.
“I don’t know.”
Val crossed her arms, her face pinched up in annoyance. “Are we not even going to discuss the fact that you care for her? That you’re not even attempting to fight for your girl?”
This time the heavy feeling in his stomach wasn’t due to the train. “She doesn’t want me to fight for her, Val. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.” He would not throw up. “Merit has her happily-ever-after, and I’m not it. She’s got her fiancé, who will break her curse and give her little fairy-blood babies with tails. She made her choice, and I will respect it. I can live with her hating me as long as she’s happy.”
Val threw her hands in the air and flopped back in her seat. “City boys. You’re all useless.”
“I’m not arguing.” Amaury settled into his seat, curling into it with feline grace and attitude.
“Too right.” Val’s tone bit at him. “Because if I had a second chance with the woman I love, I can’t say I wouldn’t be doing everything in my power to win her.”
“And what, doom her to being a beast? How could I win her, Val? I’m not the one she needs. Latimer will break her curse.”
“You could break the curse if you were in love with her, right?” Val asked. “Wasn’t that one of the things?” When Amaury nodded, Val grinned. “See? No problem. You catch a train, tell her you love her, she swoons into your arms, the end.”
“Merit doesn’t swoon,” Tevin said. “And she certainly doesn’t love me. She chose Latimer. End of story.”
Val snorted. “I’m not sure I agree with that, Tev. You don’t throw a table full of crockery at someone if you don’t love them.”
“I don’t think that’s an actual indicator of affection,” Amaury said, his eyes heavy-lidded and drowsy.
Tevin gave up arguing with them. “Fine, I’m not selfless at all, I’m just a big coward.”
“It’s funny how similar those things can be,” Val said.
CHAPTER 25
ENTER THE IN-LAWS
Lady Zarla took the news of Merit’s engagement with a combination of excited joy and focused pragmatism. It felt good to make her mother happy, to finally please her, but it felt even better to see her mother approach the wedding planning. Merit had seen her mother’s to-do list and thought that this would be less of a joining of families and more of a ruthless negotiation. This was why Merit was traveling alone to Huldre. Lady Zarla would arrive a few days later with a small battalion of solicitors with which to lay siege to the king and queen of Huldre. Some people showed love with kind words. Merit’s mother showed hers with lawyers.
That didn’t mean Merit was going to get everything she wanted. She made her first concession before they even boarded the train. Merit would be traveling to Huldre with Latimer, and she would be doing it alone. If she brought Kaiya, Latimer said, it implied that Merit needed a guard from his family. It showed bad faith. After all, he had arrived without a guard, hadn’t he? Merit didn’t like it, but she didn’t want his family to think she was weak, either. His family also had their own healers, so bringing Ellery would be an insult to them and his parents. Her mother hesitated but agreed. Merit understood the reasoning all around, even agreed with some of it, but it still allowed a sliver of unease to lodge into her heart.
A day after they announced their engagement, Latimer bundled Merit up in her shawl and they boarded the first-class car of the train. Lady Zarla had insisted on paying for their travel, getting them their own private car so Merit wouldn’t have to worry about people looking at her. The thoughtful gesture warmed Merit, and she finally felt hopeful that the fracture between her and her mother could be mended. She was relieved that she wouldn’t have to take any more bloom today, or even tomorrow. She had overdone it, and the last thing she wanted was to meet Latimer’s parents and go into a mindless, ravening episode where she chewed up their favorite couch like a family dog.
Merit had always loved the smooth glide and gentle swish of the train as it ate away at the miles. She sat by the window, watching the countryside go by. Latimer sat next to her, reading the newspaper he’d bought at the station.
“I used to bring needlework on the train,” Merit said. “In case I didn’t want to read. I like making dolls for the children at our country house.”
Latimer looked up over his paper. “Wouldn’t it be easier to buy them a doll?”
“Perhaps,” Merit said. “But I liked doing it myself. That way I could make it special for each child. Maybe it won’t be as professional as a fancy one from a city shop, but the child would still play with her, love her, and know that someone cares about them enough to make them a doll.”
Latimer stared at Merit in surprise.
“Didn’t anyone ever make you anything?” Merit asked.
Latimer shook his head and went back to his paper. “Seems like a waste of time to me, but if it makes you happy, you can make whatever you want after your curse is broken.”
The train was a slower one, frequently stopping to let people on or off, or switching out the mages who made the train move. The buttery-soft leather of the seats stayed warm and inviting, and Latimer would get anything they needed from the staff so Merit didn’t have to interact with them. When they crossed the border into the kingdom, a conductor went around checking everyone’s papers, making sure everything was in order for them to enter another country. The conductor skipped their car—there were some definite upsides to Latimer’s nobility. Merit napped in her reclined seat, a soft blanket covering her. The beast in her slept as well, curled up and quiet for now.
The train chugged around hilly lands and cut through fields, coming closer to Huldre’s holdings. Latimer wrapped her up and they exited the train, and Merit saw his homelands for the first time. They were pretty enough, but for some reason a wave of homesickness swamped her. What if they decided to live here? Not that there seemed to be anything wrong with it, but it wasn’t home.
After they disembarked and their luggage had been dropped off, Latimer hired a hack to take her and their belongings up to the barony seat. He rode his own horse, Prince, leaving the entire hack for Merit to enjoy. The carriage was plain but well made, the creatures pulling it fashioned into the sturdy outline of horses. Latimer had chosen it because it was open on the top. The weather was fine, and he wanted her to be able to see his lands as they traveled. She stayed wrapped in her shawl, nestled far enough back in the fabric that her face would be difficult to see from the road.
Latimer made sure to point out the sights on the way to his house—his favorite hunting spot, the cottages that his people lived in, which were in various states of repair. Some of them were quite run-down. Merit looked at Latimer to see if he noticed. It wasn’t his job to take care of such things now, but when he inherited, it would be. Latimer was smiling and merry. If he saw anything that caused him concern, he didn’t show it.
The land itself was fairly pretty. Old, gnarled oak
s and thick pines competed for the craggy soil. They passed several vineyards, long rows of grapevines clinging to wooden slats. His people didn’t look particularly well clothed or fed. Much of the fencing needed replacing. When she started pointing these things out to Latimer, he made vague comments about his father’s plans. Merit couldn’t tell if Latimer just didn’t know what his father had in mind or didn’t really care. It wasn’t unusual. Freddie or Cedric would have been the same way, but Merit wasn’t marrying them.
She kept her shawl up as they traveled. Though none of the locals came up to say hello, she still didn’t want to frighten them. Merit grew more and more nervous with each step. Meeting Latimer’s parents would make everything feel real, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. With each passing mile, the roiling knot of unease in her stomach grew.
The hack rounded a bend, and suddenly visible up on the ridge were the Huldre family holdings.
“What do you think?” Latimer asked.
Merit had never seen anything like it outside history books. The structure looked like the angry child of an ancient castle and a frontier outpost.
“It’s very forbidding,” Merit said. “Powerful-looking. Like an old castle.” This response seemed to please Latimer. It was clear he was very proud of his home. They made the long trek up, the creatures pulling the hacks picking their way through the rocky trail as Latimer’s horse easily ambled up. Once at the top, they were let in through a towering gate. Inside, the road was paved in cobblestones all the way up to the marble steps leading into the castle. A tasteful fountain stood off to the left, the stables off to the right.
“You can’t see from here,” Latimer said with a smile, “but on the other side of the castle there’s an orchard and a lake. I’ll give you a tour later.”
“That sounds wonderful.” And it did, but nerves were getting the better of her, so Merit had to force cheer into her voice. “I’d love to see your home.”
Latimer turned away, his gaze lingering on the fountain. “It’s your home now, too.”
Once they were close to the steps, the hack rolled to a stop, and Merit climbed out. Latimer handed off his reins to a waiting groom. Then he offered her his arm and escorted her up the steps. At the top they were greeted by a large, imposing man that Merit assumed was Latimer’s father. Merit could see Latimer in him when it came to height, coloring, and the shape of his forehead, but Latimer mostly took after his mother. She stood next to her husband, a wide smile lighting up her exquisite face. Her pale hair was swept up into a complicated mass of braids that complemented the simple silver gown she was wearing.
The king held his arms out as he beamed at Latimer. “My son! Welcome home.” He hugged Latimer, kissing each cheek. Then his eyes zeroed in on Merit. She suddenly felt shabby and small by comparison. Beastly.
“Can this be my new daughter?” His mother stepped forward, taking Merit’s clawed hands in her own. Though her smile was warm and welcoming, her hands were cold.
“We’re not married yet, Mother,” Latimer said, stealing one of Merit’s hands back from her, causing her to drop the other to keep it from getting awkward. Too late, Merit thought. She already felt awkward. “Lady Merit, may I present my father and mother, Henrich and Angelique, the king and queen of Huldre?”
Merit curtseyed. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Of course,” Lady Angelique said, and put her arm around Merit, drawing her into the house and away from Latimer. The queen led her into an entryway, their steps echoing on the marble floor. Two grand staircases swept up to the second floor, drawing the eye to a large crystal chandelier. Merit was surprised to see that it was lit by mage light, not candles. Latimer’s parents struck her as old-fashioned, so it was a pleasant surprise to see they weren’t.
Lady Angelique squeezed Merit to her in a one-armed hug, the pressure quick and unsatisfying, before she let go, leaving Merit the impression of too much perfume and little else. “This is your home now, and we are your family. I’m so pleased you’re here.”
Merit smiled, trying to show that she was pleased, too, when really she felt more and more like she’d made a mistake.
CHAPTER 26
RISE OF THE BEAST
Merit shouldn’t have had a lot of time to question her choices over the next few days before her mother arrived, but she somehow found it. While standing still for the dress fitting, during dinner with Latimer’s family and local fairy nobility, even when she dreamed, Merit struggled to stay positive. She tried to picture her future, Latimer by her side, a happy marriage for them both.
It didn’t work.
The dreams were the worst. Her mind stitched together pain past and present, an endless quilt of nightmares. Her nights passed with images of the beast, deep in the forest, calling out with an eerie howl. It would be here, soon, and then it would stay. The beast paced inside her, rage powering every rolling step, every rolling growl.
Though the beast haunted her dreams, Tevin haunted her waking hours. She missed him, even though she was mad at him, and confused, and so very lost over the whole thing. The ghost of their kiss followed her everywhere. What did he mean by it? Could someone kiss like that on a whim, a tactic to . . . what? Marry him instead of Latimer? She couldn’t marry Tevin. She’d remain a beast, and no matter how mixed up she was, she knew he didn’t want that for her. He couldn’t possibly love her, could he? Love had to be a gift freely given, something unknowable to someone who only calculated the cost of things. What did she mean by the kiss? She wasn’t sure, but she knew that the dreams where Tevin walked by her side into the days ahead left her aching. Only the idea of reaching out, of discovering he really was just like Jasper, froze her in place.
Her spinning thoughts exhausted her, leaving her short-tempered, though she tried to hide it.
Despite all the wedding preparations, Latimer took time to keep her company. He walked with her through the orchards or down by the lake, talking for hours. Latimer was a good listener, though he shared few of his own stories. Oh, he talked. He told her things, but nothing that one wouldn’t share with a new acquaintance on a train. He didn’t tell her anything that really mattered. Merit hoped he would open up as they grew to know each other better.
Today they were walking along the lake. It was one of his favorite places, and Merit could easily see why. The glassy blue water reflected snowcapped mountains, trees, and sky, the sight almost taking her breath away. After an hour holding still for her dress fitting, she was happy to be outside, and as herself—she’d taken a dose of tincture before the dressmaker arrived.
“You should see it in the early spring.” Latimer was dressed casually, his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. “There’s a little purple flower called lover’s tears that pops up, completely covering the lakeside. Makes the place look magical.”
“Lover’s tears? What a name for a flower.”
“It’s a pretty flower, but also quite poisonous.” Latimer reached up, fingertips touching the green leaves of a tree they walked under. “We’ll walk here in the spring, and I’ll show you.”
“I’d like that.” She smiled at him, enjoying the sunshine off the water. Grateful to be lakeside in an eyelet dress instead of as the beast, covered and veiled.
“Are you excited to break your curse?” Latimer asked. “Less than a week left. Assuming negotiations between our parents go well.” As heirs, their wedding could never be a simple meeting of two hearts. It was more akin to a business deal, both sides making demands and concessions until an agreement was reached.
“I admit I’m looking forward to it,” Merit said, stopping to pick up a flat stone. She tried to skip it across the water, but it didn’t go far. “The man I was originally betrothed to when I was cursed died a year later, did you know? Fell off a horse. If I’d gone along with the betrothal, I would never have gotten married. My fight with Mother, the curse, it was all for naught. I lo
st everything and gained nothing.” Merit gave up trying to skip and instead threw her rock as far as she could. It curved up in a graceful arc before splashing into the lake.
“I’m sorry, Merit.” Latimer pulled her close. She wished—oh, how she wished—she felt anything more than friendly affection for him. She knew her smile was a little watery.
Latimer rubbed his hands along her arms, soothing. “You miss your friends, don’t you? Kaiya? Your healer friend? The other one, the one with the snakes?” When she didn’t answer, Latimer frowned. “Is it DuMont?”
To her complete mortification, Merit started crying. A stranger at Latimer’s castle, she had no one to turn to, and though she felt bad that her fiancé of all people had to hear it, she was relieved, too. After all the time they’d spent this week, she’d begun to trust Latimer. She genuinely liked him and considered him a friend. They would soon be married, after all—she needed to get used to leaning on him.
Once she was all cried out, Latimer kissed her forehead and leaned back, his hands cupping her face. “It’s okay, Merit. It’s common to have doubts before a wedding, and DuMont has you all twisted around, just like that Jasper person you told me about.” He wiped away an errant tear with his thumb before letting her go. He glanced toward the water, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “What if I track him down, find his mirror location so you can talk to him?”
Surprise shot through her. “You would do that for me? You’re not angry?”
Latimer gave her a close-lipped smile. “Consider it a wedding gift—I want no doubts in your mind when you walk down the aisle.” He took her hand, resuming their walk. “And no, I’m not angry. DuMont is a consummate liar, but you consider him to be a friend. Sometimes in absence, we forget people’s bad qualities and only remember the good. Perhaps you need a reminder of who Tevin DuMont really is—and I’ll let him do that. I have no doubts that in comparison, I’ll come out on top again.”