by Kim Law
He put his mouth to her neck. “Well, I liked it. It got you back out here like this.” He nipped her just underneath her ear, and her breasts pushed into his chest.
“Rein it in, big guy,” she whispered. “We have a party to get through before any of that can happen.”
“Too bad,” he murmured. But he put two inches between them, because it would be a long night if he had to spend every remaining moment of it erect. He captured her hand, and wrapping her fingers in his, brought their hands between their bodies. “Want me to take you to the airport in the morning?”
“No need. Cord’s got a flight out, too. He has a rental, so that’ll make it easy.”
There would be absolutely nothing easy about her leaving in the morning.
The volume of the music picked up as the band neared the end of the song, and Ben took a moment to spin Dani away from him. He needed a second to breathe, and he’d never been able to do that with her so close.
When he brought her back, she tilted her face up to his.
“I love being in your arms,” she said.
He couldn’t do this. He absolutely could not do this.
He couldn’t let her get on a plane and never look back.
Once again, he closed the distance. “Dani,” he started. He could see everything he was feeling, everything he wanted, right there in her eyes. She felt it, too.
“I—”
“Dad.” Haley tugged on a belt loop, cutting off his words, and he and Dani both groaned.
Dani made a move to step away, but he tightened his grip, keeping her in his arms. His daughter had the worst timing in the world.
“Yes, Haley?” he answered, careful not to show his frustration.
“Daddy,” she said, “Leslie says her doggie is having puppies and I can have one. Can I? You told me we would get me one.”
When he didn’t answer in the first second, she asked, “Can I?” once again, and he chuckled at both her unbridled enthusiasm and his unfit state. His daughter might be the death of him. Either that or Dani.
“Can we talk about this later?” he asked.
“But I need to tell her yes or no.”
He kept him and Dani swaying together, not wanting her to forget where they’d been, and all the while looking down at his daughter. She was literally bouncing, and he couldn’t get over how different she was.
“Yes,” he told her. “You may have one.” He’d give her anything she wanted, but there would be logistics to work out. “You’ll have to wait a few weeks after they’re born to bring it home, though. Puppies need their mothers for several weeks.”
She nodded, her face a mixture of confusion and trust, then was off, heading back to shout the answer to Leslie and Jenna, along with several additional girls who’d joined the trio. He also heard her inviting every one of them to her new house to play with her dog.
Ben brought his gaze back to Dani’s. “Can you believe she claimed to only want two friends? What have I turned her into?”
“She’s the life of the party.”
“Thanks to you.” He put his cheek next to hers. “Thank you for suggesting the therapist. I think Haley’s actually going to be all right.”
And he was, too. Because he’d finally figured out what love was.
Dani pressed her cheek more firmly to his, but she didn’t say anything. Ben kept them dancing.
“How’s the house search going?” she eventually asked.
“Great. I got an email earlier today from my agent. She sent pictures of a property on the lake not far from here, and it’s gorgeous. If there are no issues, it could be the one.”
It was a place where he could picture Dani and himself.
The song stopped, and she stepped back.
“No,” he said. “You’re dancing with me for the rest of the evening. Only me,” he stressed. “I want you in my arms.”
“But there are people here I haven’t seen yet,” she said. “They came to see me.”
“I don’t care.” They’d just have to do without, because he couldn’t handle another second with her anywhere but in his arms.
When she didn’t agree, he tried the only thing he knew to use. His smile. He knew she loved his smile.
At the attempt, a curve of her own lifted the corners of her lips, and she returned to his arms. “You don’t play fair, Hollywood.” With one finger, she traced the creases that ran alongside his mouth. “You know this smile can bring women to their knees. You could get anything you want with it.”
He clasped his hands behind her back. “And what if what I want is you?”
At his serious question, her mouth flattened. Her gaze turned uncertain.
The sound of silverware tapping against an empty beer bottle pulled their attention to Gabe, who once again stood on the trailer. Michelle and Jenna were at his side.
“Can I have your attention once more?” Gabe shouted through the microphone.
After the crowd hushed, he continued. “As you know, we’ve had another successful crop this year, and it’s in no small thanks to you.”
Cheers went up, and a couple of men snagged their wives and pulled them onto their laps. These people worked hard, and they played the same way.
“I couldn’t be more proud. Thank you all for the hard work, for the great effort, and for another terrific season.” Gabe reached for Michelle’s hand. “But I also wanted to let you know that within the next few weeks, Michelle, Jenna, and I will be moving, and I’ll no longer be the man in charge.”
Shock echoed through the crowd, and Ben saw Max making his way to the trailer.
“Don’t worry.” Gabe held up his hands. “I’ll still be back for harvest next year. We all will. You can’t get rid of us that easily. But I won’t be running the day-to-day operations.” He stepped aside to make room for Max. “I trust you might recognize our new manager, though,” Gabe added. “It’s not like he hasn’t done this before.”
“Dad’s coming out of retirement?” Dani whispered in shock.
Ben was as astounded as she.
“Thanks, son,” Max said. “And as Gabe said, I, too, thank you all for your hard work, and I hope each of you will be back next year—when hopefully the crop will be bigger and better than before.” He winked at Gabe. “I can’t have this guy showing me up. But also, I hope you’re not too sorry to see me back up here.”
Choruses of disagreement sounded. Everyone loved Max.
“We’ve had a lot of changes in our family recently,” the elder Wilde continued. “Dani’s got a job in New York we’re all proud of, Gabe is going to California. And that left a hole in our family.”
He looked at Dani now, and Ben felt as if far more was being said than what the workers would hear.
“I couldn’t leave our farm without family to run it. It means too much to us.”
“He’s trying to fix things with me,” Dani said softly. She reached for Ben, and slipped her hand into his.
“And I won’t let our family down.” He swept his gaze over the crowd. “Not everything is perfect in the world, but it’s up to us to fix it when we mess up.”
A few questioning gazes passed through the crowd, but no one said anything.
Max looked at Dani again. “Don’t worry about our legacy, Dani girl. You go do what you’ve waited your life to achieve. I’ve got this. For as long as I need to.”
He didn’t say a lot more after that, but the heart of it had been said. They might be heading down different paths, but their family was still here. Their farm. The thing they could always count on.
When Max left the trailer, Ben turned to Dani and lifted a brow.
“That helps,” she confirmed. The music started, and without encouragement she returned to his arms. “Dance with me, Ben.”
And so they danced.
But a
fter three more songs, Ben couldn’t wait any longer. He brought Dani’s face up to his. “You do know that I love you, right?”
Her feet stopped moving to the song. “What?”
He urged her to continue following his lead, sliding them back in with the crowd. “I love you,” he said again. He pressed a kiss to her temple. “That can’t be a surprise.”
“Ben . . .”
“It’s a good thing, Dani.” He leaned back and looked her in the eye. “We’re good.”
“But why would you tell me that?” Her words came out blunt. “Why now? I’m catching a plane tomorrow.”
He swallowed around the fear that rose up. Putting his heart on the line, he found, was no easy feat. “I’m telling you because I don’t want it to end here, babe. Haley and I could catch a flight in a couple of weeks. We could come out with you.”
Her jaw dropped. “You want to do a long-distance thing? Won’t that be too confusing for Haley?”
“I want to do a permanent thing, Dani.”
Confusion crossed her brow.
“I’m saying that Haley and I will move to New York. For you.” She didn’t respond, so he added, “We’ll follow you. Because we love you.”
Her forehead wrinkled even more, and if he wasn’t mistaken, it was in horror. This was most definitely not going as he’d envisioned.
“Haley needs Montana,” Dani told him. “You’re buying a house.”
“Or it could be a vacation home. A place to visit. To come see your family.”
“My family isn’t even going to be here.”
“Come on, your dad isn’t going anywhere. And you know the others will come back. The house could be our chance to be here in Birch Bay when we want to, but not have to be underfoot of everyone else. It could provide you the opportunity to work on your relationship with your father. To continue being close with your brothers.”
She took a step back. “Do you even know me at all?”
“What do you mean?” He realized that they weren’t moving, and everyone else kept bumping into them. One couple even tried to dance between them.
Ben took her arm, and moved them off the dance floor.
“I need to go to New York.” Dani made the statement as though he weren’t aware of the fact.
“And I’m not asking you to do anything different.”
“By myself.”
The words seemed to echo in the night. Oh. She didn’t want him there.
“I’m too messed up,” she explained. “Don’t you see that? What if I’m like my mother?”
“You know you aren’t.”
“No, I don’t.” She inched backward. “How could I know that? I don’t even know who I am.”
“And you can’t figure that out with us around?”
“No.”
They stared at each other in silence until she added, “What if having you around causes me to fail at my new job?”
That didn’t even make sense.
“What if I become more focused on you?” she continued, her voice rising slightly. “On Haley?”
“You know me, Dani. I wouldn’t let that happen.” He was the one person who’d never tried to dump everything on her. He didn’t understand why she didn’t see that.
She shook her head again. “This is my last chance. The job is all I’ve got, and I can’t screw it up.”
The job was all she had?
Anger began to hum inside him. “And us being there would screw it up?”
“I have to focus on me,” she said. The words fell flat. “Not my family. Not you. And not Haley. I can’t take care of her right now.”
“I’m not asking you to take care of her,” he said, his voice increasing to a level above hers, and more than one couple turned to watch.
“Not in so many words, but you know I would. It’s what I do. It’s what I was taught to do. Plus, this thing between us . . . it was supposed to just be fun.” She whispered the last sentence. “You knew that all along. I told you. That’s all it could be.” Her voice shook, but she didn’t look like she thought she was saying the wrong words.
But that wasn’t all it had been. He opened his mouth to contradict her, only, he made himself stop. Had it truly been nothing to her? He found that hard to believe. But then, what did he really know about love, after all? He hadn’t even believed in it until a few days ago.
He had to pull himself back before he made an even bigger fool of himself. “My mistake,” he gritted out.
“I’m sorry, Ben.” And that quickly, she was done. She glanced around, like she was just remembering where they were. “We have guests. I need to mingle.”
In the next instant she was gone. Out of his reach.
Someone stepped beside him and Ben turned with a confused mix of shock and anger.
It was Gabe.
“I told you not to sleep with her again,” her brother said.
What the hell had just happened? “Don’t worry,” Ben assured him sarcastically. “She kicked my ass for you.”
He couldn’t believe he’d been nothing more to her than a good time.
Gabe remained silent, watching Dani alongside Ben. She laughed with another couple from town, played with a toddler belonging to one of the migrant families. And at no point did she look back at Ben. As if completely unconcerned that she’d just stomped on his heart. And certainly not seeming in the least like hers was broken.
Because it apparently wasn’t.
“It comes from our mom, you know?” Gabe finally said.
“What does?”
Gabe nudged his chin toward Dani. “That show she’s putting on.”
Ben watched for a moment longer. “Doesn’t look like a show to me.”
It looked like she was owning the crowd, same as she always did. Content, in charge, and looking forward to her next challenge.
Had this really been one-sided all this time?
They watched Dani continue charming the crowd for another minute before Gabe turned to Ben. “Then you’re not looking close enough.”
chapter twenty-three
Ben lay in the middle of his bed later that night, still confused. And still more than a bit angry. He’d replayed every moment of the conversation on the dance floor with Dani, several times, and he couldn’t figure it out. It was as though any emotions—any feelings—she might have had toward him had turned off with a single click.
The rest of the night had continued, with her laughing and talking with others, acting as if nothing were wrong. The entire family had partied, they’d bid the workers good-bye until next year, then the group of them had walked back to the house together.
Dani put the girls to bed, since she would be leaving before they got up—Ben had heard her promise to sneak into their room in the morning for a good-bye kiss. Then she’d gone to her room.
She’d promised him nothing.
Nor had she even said another word to him.
A faint light appeared around the edges of his door as he lay there, and he held his breath. He listened, unsure if it was Haley, or if Dani had decided to break her silence. But one thing was for certain. He would not be the one to speak first.
The door opened wider. “Are you awake?”
He closed his eyes. It was Dani.
His anger moved from a simmer, right to the edge of boil. “I am,” he bit out.
“Can I come in?”
“Dani . . .” He didn’t know what to say. If anything could possibly be said that would matter at this point.
“Just to talk,” she begged. “And maybe . . . I don’t know. Could I stay in here for a while? I’m going to miss you, Ben.”
What the fuck was wrong with the woman?
“Never mind,” she said into the silence. Her voice turned to a whisper. “It was wrong of me to ask.�
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The door was almost shut when he opened his mouth. “You can come in.”
He might regret it—he would probably regret it—but they didn’t feel finished yet. He had to let her in. At least to hear what she had to say.
“You’re sure?”
He could see her now. She was beautiful.
And he loved her.
He moved over on his bed, and she settled beside him—still in the outfit she’d worn to the party—and lay flat on her back. She didn’t touch him, nor did he touch her.
After several minutes, she spoke. “I’m sorry,” she said simply. “I was distant with you after we talked tonight. I didn’t mean to be, but I needed to get away from our discussion.”
“To act like nothing had happened? Like we hadn’t just broken up.”
He could see her turn her face to him in the dark. “Were we ever really together?”
Once again, he found himself surprised at her words.
“I grew up pretending the world was okay,” she explained. “That I was loved. Only, I wasn’t loved and it was never okay.”
Ben rubbed a hand over his face and noticed that it was shaking. She’d had a crappy upbringing, he’d give her that. But still . . .
“I know that’s not an excuse, but that’s part of why I have to do this on my own. I don’t know how to have normal relationships.”
“You have them with your brothers every day,” he pointed out. “I’ve seen it.”
“But they’re a part of me. They’re part of both the problem . . . and the solution. I think. If there is one. I can be more real around them because they get it, they were a part of it. Yet, because of them, I also feel as if I’ve been in a black hole for most of my life.
“I’m hurting,” she continued. “I don’t feel normal, and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I can fix it. To me, love is tied around me doing for everyone else.” She rolled to her side. “Don’t you see that? I don’t know how to do anything else, and if you’re there in New York with me, I might be just like I’ve been here my whole life. And I don’t want to be that anymore.”
“But love doesn’t come from what you do for others. You know that. You get that.”