by T Gephart
“Oh shit.” The tightness in my chest was back. “I can’t do this.”
I wasn’t sure if it was her idea or mine that we date other people, or why the hell it was a suggestion in the first place. But whoever’s idea it was, it was a terrible one. I didn’t want anyone else. I doubted that I’d even be able to get hard with another girl let alone fuck her.
“I want her to be my girlfriend.” It was my voice saying words I’d never heard out of my own mouth. And what’s more, I actually freaking meant them. My head shook as I scrubbed my hand down my face. “Josh, I want her to be mine.”
Josh shot me a look of sympathy. “I’m not the person you need to tell, D.”
It wasn’t enough I had admitted it to myself, and said it out loud, I needed to admit it to her.
Shit.
But what the hell were my options?
Pretend I didn’t want her? Ignore it?
Not likely.
“I’m going to do this. I am,” I said more to myself than to Josh.
And that time, I knew I meant it.
Nine turned into nine thirty with my last tattoo taking longer than I’d expected. As much as I wanted to rush out of there and get over to Kitty’s, there wasn’t a chance I was giving someone something other than my best. It was there for life, and I didn’t want the memory I left to be a shitty one.
So, even though I knew I’d done the right thing, I was still annoyed it was later than I wanted it to be when I knocked on Kitty’s door.
“Hey.” She opened it, standing in the doorway looking a little unsure. “I was going to call you and see if you’d forgotten.”
“I’m sorry, I ran over. Can I come in?” I looked beyond her to the hallway hoping she wasn’t going to tell me to leave. It was always a possibility, especially since I hadn’t called or texted her to tell her I was going to be late.
She lifted her shoulder in a little half-hearted shrug. “Sure, if you want. Let’s go sit down on the couch.”
She turned, leaving the door open and walked off toward the living room. I followed, closing the door behind us, freaking terrified of what happened next.
If I’d ever needed proof that things were different between us, then I’d gotten it courtesy of that greeting. No hug, no smile—the indifference something I’d never seen. Not just to me, but in general too.
Kitty wasn’t the kind of person who waded through life in neutral; everything she did—good or bad—was always done to the max. She didn’t care what people thought, it was one of the things I loved about her.
Love about her.
So, to see her sitting in the wasteland of ordinary made me realize how screwed up it was. And if I had anything to do with it—her being that way—then I was going to do everything in my power to change it.
“Kitty.” I grabbed her before she had a chance to sit down. “Please look at me.”
She didn’t resist, letting me put my hands around her waist and bringing her in closer. But her eyes were all over the place, floating above and below mine so they didn’t make direct contact.
“Do you want something to eat or drink? I could make something,” she offered, our eyes connecting only for a second.
“I’m not here for any other reason than you. I need to tell you something.”
The intention hadn’t been to go from zero to a hundred the minute I’d walked through the door. I’d planned to ease into it, ask her about her day, pretend to listen like I wasn’t really freaking the hell out, and then tell her.
But seeing her, and the change between us, made shit critical.
Fuck our day, and small talk, and anything else.
I needed to tell her and I didn’t want to wait a second longer.
She lifted her eyes, giving me what I’d been craving since I’d got there and looked at me. God, I wanted her to smile too, but if all went well that wouldn’t be too far behind.
She kicked up her chin, the defiant spirit I knew her to have still simmering underneath. “What Dallas? What do you want to tell me?”
And fuck me, if I wasn’t already entirely in love with her, I’d be one hundred percent convinced after that.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.” My hands lifted to her face, my thumb running along her jaw. “So freaking beautiful.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d told her, but it might as well have been. Because as pretty as she was on the outside—and trust me when I tell you she was a stunner—it was what was inside that knocked me right on my ass.
“Dallas? Now you are starting to freak me out. You came all this way to tell me I’m beautiful?” The defiance was replaced by concern as she put her hands on me too.
I was so freaking done.
Done.
“No, but you should be told. Every single day. And I want to be the guy who tells you that.”
She narrowed her eyes in confusion. “You want to tell me I’m beautiful every day?” She shoved roughly against my chest. “Dallas, I thought this was something important. I’ve been losing my mind all day and most of the night, what the hell?”
She didn’t understand, didn’t get what I was trying to tell her. “Baby, this is important. We screwed up; this agreement, the stupid plan about getting to know each other, sleeping with each other and then comparing data—it was the dumbest thing ever.”
“It was NOT fucking dumb,” she shot back, her confusion morphing to anger. “And I actually liked spending time with you, getting to know you. How can you say that? You’ve become my best friend.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t like spending time with you.” My voice rose to match hers, her eyes widening in shock as she heard the words. “I fucking loved it. I loved it, Kitty. Every second of every freaking day. And the last few days I haven’t been with you, I have been miserable as hell.”
God, I wanted to kiss her.
To show her with my mouth what I was clearly so terrible at telling her with my words. But I wasn’t going to touch her until she’d heard every last thing I needed to say.
“You loved it?” She repeated the word, looking at me to see if it was the one I’d meant.
“Yeah, and I love you.”
She took a step back and gasped in surprise. Not exactly the response I was looking for, but she hadn’t run yet either.
“What the hell are you saying?” She shook her head, her hand clutching at her chest.
“Kitty, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you, and I was just too dumb to work it out.”
“But I thought you wanted to sleep with other people, I thought you missed your old life? I thought—” She stopped, tears she hadn’t allowed to come before, filling those beautiful green eyes. “You didn’t want this.”
“Yeah, well it turns out I didn’t know what the hell I wanted. Because I don’t give a shit about the other stuff. There is no one else, Kitty. NO ONE. I don’t want to screw around anymore, I don’t want to go get drunk and party. I’m happier grocery shopping with you on a Sunday morning at ridiculous o’clock than drinking in a bar surrounded by a bunch of women I care nothing about. You told me to go do whatever it is that makes me happy, but you are what makes me happy. This is what makes me happy.”
Too bad if she wasn’t feeling it, I’d put all my chips on the table and gone all in. And if for some reason she didn’t feel exactly the same way, or I’d lost my chance, I’d still leave her apartment with my head held high. A hole in my heart the size of an ocean, but at least I’d know.
Her hands grabbed me, pulling me toward her mouth. “I love you too,” she managed to get out before she kissed me. Her lips so hungry against mine it took everything I had to stop myself from taking her right there.
“Wait, Kitty.” I pulled away for a second, hating myself for doing it but knowing it was necessary. “Did you just say you love me too?”
There would be no freaking misunderstanding. No confusion as to what I wanted and being appeased wasn’t it. I wanted her in every way.
H
er mind.
Her heart.
Her body.
But I wasn’t going to take the last option unless I had the other two as well. And wasn’t that the freaking shock of the century; that I—a man who screwed like it was an Olympic sport—was giving up sex for a chance at a relationship.
“Dallas, I’ve been so conflicted because I wanted to tell you how I felt but didn’t want to make you feel trapped. I’m in love with you, you’re my best friend.” She brought her lips to my chin, kissing my jaw.
My hand reached up to her cheek, stopping her again. “Best friend as in, can’t see me as a boyfriend?”
“As in.” She grabbed my hand from her face, lowered it to her chest and grinned. “If you don’t kiss me right now, your girlfriend is going to kill you.”
It was all I needed to hear.
Stopping was no longer an option as I pulled her closer and kissed her like my life depended on it. I wanted her, but not just for gratification. It was deeper than that, needing to be closer to her and feel that she was mine.
“Bedroom,” she mumbled against my mouth, wrapping her legs around me as my hands fused to her ass.
And what did I tell you? My girl was so incredibly smart.
Our hands and mouths got reacquainted with each other while I carried us from the living room to her bedroom.
Her body hit the mattress and was instantly covered by mine, my mouth moving to her neck while she writhed underneath me.
I was rock hard, the rod between my legs like freaking steel as I tried to unzip my pants one-handed. Seeing what I was doing, her hands got busy too, yanking at her clothes as we touched and kissed each other between stripping.
She elbowed me in the face twice while attempting to take off her dress but I didn’t care, willing to take a black eye if it meant having her naked.
“Sorry,” was all she was able to get out, the rest of her apology swallowed by my mouth as I peeled off her bra and panties.
With less to take off, she’d been faster, the rest of my clothes dumped in a pile not long after, leaving us both naked.
I loved the way she felt, her soft, mostly unmarked skin against the mess of colors that was mine.
I could never get enough of her. Never taste or kiss her enough to get my fill, and as I feasted on what she had so generously given me, I needed to make her come.
With my hands on the most perfect tits I’d ever seen, I moved my mouth further south. She fought me, not willing to let my lips go even though I was positive she would like where I was heading. She whimpered, pulled at the longer part of my hair as she tried to force my mouth back to hers, but I wasn’t so easily swayed. And instead of giving her what she thought she wanted, I gave her what I knew we both needed.
My tongue hit her pussy with no preamble or foreplay. I hadn’t teased or touched it with my hand, my mouth wanting the pleasure first. She moaned, arching her back as I licked her again, skirting the edges before circling her clit. It wasn’t too slow or too fast, keeping my tongue moving as her hips rocked against my mouth.
Her juices coated me, letting me taste her sweet gifts as I couldn’t resist any longer and fucked her with my tongue.
“Oh God, Dallas.” Her hands went to her tits, palming them and playing with her nipples while she bucked against my face. “It feels sooooo good.”
She wasn’t kidding about that, my dick straining against the mattress as my own hips rocked in time with hers.
I reached down with one hand and gave myself a quick jerk, pumping against my shaft a few times while she watched. I wanted her to see what she was doing to me, how hard she made me and how desperate I was to get off.
“Let me suck you,” she begged, her eyes wide like dinner plates. “I want your cock in my mouth while you lick me.”
Fuck.
Me.
How I didn’t spill my load right then and there was a mystery, but I managed to twist around and angle my dick to her mouth. And while I continued to do exactly what I had been doing, making her wetter with each pass of my tongue, she stuck my cock in her mouth and sucked me hard.
“Fuck,” I groaned against her pussy, unable to stop my hips from thrusting forward and fucking her mouth. “Jesus, Kitty.”
She mumbled something I wasn’t able to hear, the vibrations traveling up my shaft and making my balls ache with need. Damn it felt good—too good—which was why I needed to concentrate on what I was doing rather than think about what she was doing to me.
With sheer will and determination, I blocked out the need to come as I stuck my finger inside of her and sucked her clit. The combination made her moan, lifting off the bed while I continued my mission.
She was so close, the desperate whimpers coming faster against my dick as I picked up speed, my hand and mouth working in tandem. I needed her to come, needed to feel her come on my mouth before I’d take her again and have her come on my dick. It was like a sickness, wanting them both before I’d allow my own satisfaction, while loving the sweet burn of self-torture as I deprived myself.
I flicked her clit one last time, pumping into her with two fingers when I felt her tense and then pulse around my hand. She let out a muffled cry, holding my dick in her hand as she pulled it from her swollen lips.
“Dallas,” she breathed, saying my name over and over as I continued to tease her, making her body shake.
That was number one.
My tongue savored her one last time, kissing her sweetly before repositioning myself.
“You have to let go of my dick, baby,” I laughed, finding some resistance as I tried to swing my body back into position. “As much as I love feeling it in your hand, I need to be inside of you instead.”
Her grip loosened, nodding as her eyes slid back open and watched me. “Dallas, that was incredible.”
“Not even close, babe. Not even close.” I smirked, dropping my mouth to kiss both her tits and swirl my tongue around her nipples.
“I thought . . .” She closed her eyes, not finishing the sentence as I blindly opened the drawer of her nightstand and felt around for a condom.
I knew very well what she thought, and I was going to get to that in a minute. But I wasn’t going to waste a second of my time not touching her even if it meant I had to multitask while I did it.
Needing two hands to get the rubber on, I kissed her beautiful tits one last time before I ripped open the packet. I stretched it over the piercing in the head, rolling it down the length of my dick as she watched, and then lined myself up with her opening.
I’d intended to be slow, inch in easy and let her adjust. But that thought went out the window as I thrust in all the way, bottoming out the minute the head of my cock had entered her.
Fuck, she felt good. Her core squeezed me as I dragged my dick out and then thrust it back in.
Her eyes flashed to mine and I needed a minute. Needed to be in the moment with her and know what we had was real. I opened my mouth wanting to tell her how much I loved her, but I couldn’t find the words to do it justice.
Nothing I said would ever be good enough for her.
So I didn’t even try.
Like she’d seen inside my head, she lifted her hand to my cheek and smiled. Not an average smile either, the kind that left freaking doubts on the doorstep and kicked uncertainty to the curb. She was my sure thing when I hadn’t a clue.
“Dallas,” she purred, moving her hand down my neck and across my chest. Her fingers ran along the bar in my nipple, playing with it as she kept her eyes on me. “Make love to me.”
“I’d do anything for you,” I answered with no hesitation, not concerned about what that promise entailed, other than I meant it.
And dropping my lips to her neck, I did what my woman had asked. I kissed her, taking my time as I savored her tight, hot core clamping me as I pushed in and out, both fast and slow. I watched her excitement build as she writhed under me, her little breaths coming faster, more erratic with every drag of my hips.
Pushing myself up onto my knees, I lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist, driving into her deeper and hearing her moan.
She was so close, her body started to shake so I picked up speed, watching her eyelids fighting to stay open as I reached down and thumbed her clit.
Her mouth opened wide and let out a shout. “Dallas, I’m going to come.”
Even without the memo, I could tell she was right there. She tensed, wrapping around my cock like a fist and pulsing as she came hard for a second time.
Over and over again she said my name as she unraveled, watching her come undone as I continued to pump into her. Any control I had was gone, my need to come spiking up right from my balls as I exploded into her. Our gazes locked the entire time.
“I love you.” I wanted her to hear it almost as much as I wanted to say it. “I love you, Kitty.”
She flashed me a smile that made my chest puff out and jack up my spine a little straighter. The pride in knowing I’d been responsible for putting it there made me feel like a million dollars.
“I love you, Dallas.”
Kitty
I DIDN’T WANT TO MOVE.
Warm arms wrapped around me as lips pressed gently to my shoulder. And I couldn’t have wiped the smile off my face if I’d tried.
We’d only been lying like that for only a few minutes but the world could have stopped turning and I wouldn’t have known the difference.
He was mine.
I was his.
And we would work out the rest.
Never in a million years had I expected him to tell me he loved me, it was something I hadn’t dared to hope. He cared for me sure, and there wasn’t a doubt we’d become close, but he went further than that and opened his heart and let me inside. Which was an amazing coincidence since I’d done the exact same thing.
“I say we both call in sick tomorrow.” He tightened his grip, nuzzling against me.
I turned in his arms, facing him as I nibbled on his chin. “We can’t do that, but I can send you sexy messages all day and take you to bed the minute you walk in the door?”