Evita continues her tyranny and we get things set up as she discusses things with the sound tech. You’d think we were doing some big arena tour, not a forty-minute set at an all-ages night. Still, the excitement is sort of infectious, and when Alice shows up she runs to me squealing.
“Our first gig!” Alice says. “Hey, Theo.” Theo gives her a big hug. “Wow. Lacey, you look amazing!”
I almost forgot about the hair and the makeup, and I want to hide, but I just smile and say, “Thanks.”
“Alice! Hey!” Evita calls. “Lacey, can you text Bruno? He was supposed to be here by now. I’m letting him sit in for one song.”
“I don’t have his number,” I tell her, so she tosses me her phone. Just as I catch it, it starts buzzing, and I see that—huge coincidence—Bruno is calling. I’m about to toss it back to her, but she and Alice are already deep in discussion, so I answer.
“Hi. Evita’s phone,” I say.
“Hey. It’s Bruno. I’m almost there, had a bit of car trouble. Who is this?” he asks.
“Oh. It’s Lacey.”
“Right. Lacey. I’m sure Evita’s freaking out. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Tell her to chill,” Bruno says.
“Oh. She’s perfectly calm,” I joke.
“Yeah. I’ll believe that when I see it,” he says.
“Okay. See you soon.”
I feel a hand on my arm. Theo looks at me conspiratorially. “Let’s go find a dark corner to hide in before the despot finds another inane task for us,” he says.
And, damn it, I get butterflies when he says “dark corner.”
I let out the deep breath I just realized I was holding. I shake my head and roll my shoulders as we walk offstage. Tonight, I will not obsess over Theo. I will not let any temporary feelings or weirdness get in the way of what is sure to be a big night in the history of us.
* * *
When Bruno arrives, Evita makes no secret of trying to force the two of us together. And maybe it’s the makeover or the fact that I’m trying to squash my feelings about Theo, but I’m okay with it. More than okay with it. I may actually be flirting. Bruno tunes up his double bass, and I tell him I always wanted to try playing one.
He gives me this little quirky smile that is really endearing. I can almost forgive him for being sort of a setup and for being snobby about music and for being probably too old for me. He offers the neck of the bass.
It’s stupid, really. I could play a bass whenever I want. We have two bass players in our orchestra at school. But I take the bass and pluck the strings. Then I do a really out-of-tune, lame attempt at a blues bass line.
“Not half bad,” Bruno says, rubbing his beard. “We’ll make you a jazz aficionado yet. I can’t wait to hear you guys. Evita is allowing me to just play the one song. She told me you composed a lot of the stuff?” His eye contact is really intense. And his longish curly hair looks pretty cute pulled back in a ponytail. Maybe Evita is onto something. I hand him his bass back.
“It’s all a collaboration,” I say.
“She’s full of it,” Evita calls from where she’s adjusting her mic stand for the umpteenth time. “She’s the composer of the group.”
“Very cool,” says Bruno. “I’m all set. See you in the green room.”
“Hey, Theo and Lacey, move your spots back a smidge,” Evita demands.
“We’re not even gonna be in the lights!” Theo complains as he drags his seat and his cello back farther.
“Fine by me,” I say.
“Are you kidding? You deserve to be seen,” Theo says.
“Sure. Because everyone is always eager to hear the viola part,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t do that, Lacey,” he says, more forcefully than I’m used to hearing him talk.
“What?”
“Put yourself down. Okay? You rock. I’m sorry that shit with the quartet might have made you feel less awesome.” He’s blinking his lined eyes rapidly.
I cock my head to the side and study him. “What’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been quiet.”
He shrugs. “Who can get a word in with her?” He nods toward Evita, who keeps running through her prerecorded drum loops. Then he gives me this decidedly fake smile. All mouth, no dimples.
“You sure? You’re not getting stage fright or something?” I ask him. I press my lips together, feeling the lipstick I applied last minute.
“No. It’s…” He trails off. “Okay. No. It’s stupid. We are about to have our first gig. And everything’s great.”
“You’re an awful liar,” I tell him.
“To the green room!” Evita calls to us.
Before I can press Theo for more details, he scoops me off my feet and rushes off stage yelling, “To the green room!”
Alice laughs as he gallops past her. We have an entire hour in the green room and backstage before our set starts. After Theo’s little burst of energy on the stage, he’s quiet, sitting on the couch looking at his phone. Alice paces and sings some vocal warmups and drinks a lot of water.
Bruno tries to strike up a conversation with Theo about reggae. Theo couldn’t look less interested. Bruno gets the hint and comes to sit with me and Evita. We’re playing a card game that involves a lot of silly rules and slapping the table. It’s supposed to be a drinking game, but we’ve never let that stop us.
Theo stretches and mumbles something about fresh air. He doesn’t invite any of us to join him.
“Is he nervous or something?” I ask Evita.
“I suspect something went down with Lily Ann,” Evita says with a grin.
“Don’t look so happy! He seems miserable,” I say.
She shrugs. “He’ll be fine once we get onstage in … twenty minutes.”
“Maybe I should go find him.”
“No. Don’t. I will. You and Bruno should go check out the crowd and report back how big it is.” Evita puts her cards down and replays what she just said. “I mean, the crowd. Report back on how big the crowd is.”
It takes me a second. “Oh my god, Evita.” I walk away from her before she can keep a string of double entendres going. I have no doubt she can. “Let’s check out the crowd,” I say to Bruno.
“Sure.” He puts a hand on my back as we go through the green room door. Then he grabs my hand to lead me across the floor. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to him. But, honestly, at this slight gesture, I feel sort of thrilled. As self-conscious as I was of my whole getup and as nervous as I might be about the gig, all of that disappears and I find that I’m just … enjoying myself.
Bruno heads to the bar. “You want something?”
I don’t know if he means to buy me alcohol or what. “Cherry Coke,” I say. He orders two of them and nods at a bar stool. There’s only one free, but he offers it to me.
“This is an excellent crowd. Seriously. Did you all do some advertising or what?”
“I don’t think so.”
“It doesn’t look like it’s all high schoolers, either. This is great. I know you all will win them over.”
“I hope so.” My stomach jumps with preshow nerves.
“To an excellent debut show.” Bruno raises his glass.
I clink mine on his and smile. Maybe that’s all there is to flirting. Smiling. Talking. A little physical closeness. It’s way less intimidating than I thought. Even with this older guy. Even given the fact that other girls are checking him out. “Let’s go tell Evita an approximate headcount.”
We bring our drinks back to the green room, where Alice is waiting.
“Good crowd?”
“Huge. Amazing. Where’s Evita and Theo?” I ask.
“I’ll go find them,” Alice offers. “Only five more minutes!”
I pick up my viola and bow. I retune it. I loosen and tighten my bow. I take some deep breaths to try to banish the shaky fingers I sometimes get when I perform. Focused on nothing else, I run through a couple trickier phrases of
a fast piece. Then I practice the long, round notes of a song that builds layer upon layer with the looping pedals, and if my intonation isn’t spot on, it won’t sound good.
“You are really good,” Bruno says. He sounds surprised but impressed.
Alice, Evita, and Theo walk in. Theo’s face is sour, but Alice and Evita look as excited as I am.
“You guys ready? The sound dude says we can go on as soon as we’re all set. So, are we set? Let’s bring it in.” Evita ushers us over to her. “Hold hands, guys.”
I put my viola down on the couch and grab Evita’s and Theo’s hands. Theo gives my hand a little squeeze. When I look at him, he finally smiles.
“Your eyeliner is still on point,” I tell him.
“Yours, too.”
“Quiet!” Evita says. “Okay. So this is a big moment, but let’s just focus on listening to each other. Everything else will go awesome. Just listen to each other and have fun. Right?”
“Absolutely!” Alice says. “Let’s do this.”
We’re all suddenly grinning like idiots as we take the stage. Theo and I take our spots upstage and Alice goes right out front. Evita checks over her sliders, dials, and pedals, then grabs the mic.
“Hi, y’all. Thanks so much. We’re the Sparrows, and we hope you enjoy.” She looks back at me and mimes screaming in excitement before she faces the crowd and nods the starting beat to our first song. We’re starting off with an epic build. Evita snaps a few times into her mic. Alice claps into hers. And then Evita puts the mic right up to her mouth and does this loud “Shhhhhhhhh.” Then it’s all looped. I start on the keyboard. Just some snappy chords. And Alice starts singing the first song. I stay on the keyboard for the whole first song, which flies by in a blur. The audience claps enthusiastically, and it’s only then that I realize how hushed they were during the song. It’s possible that we’re really good.
I pick up my viola. Evita uses her other keyboard, and we kick into a pop song. She uses a prerecorded beat. Then Theo and I add in the strings. His eyes are locked on mine as we play fast arpeggios and quirky lines here and there. The chorus has us playing epic double stops. And we are grinning at each other.
With each piece, the audience is more and more with us. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if people would ignore us and just hang out, treating us like background music. But every person in here is with us on the ride. I’m not self-conscious at all. I let go of the rigidness that normally resides in my spine. I move and flow and dance. I smile at Theo and Evita and Alice whenever they look at me.
We end with the piece we based on the quartet I wrote for Theo. I wasn’t even sure we should play it. It’s so different from everything else. But it sounds so good with Alice and Evita taking over the lines from the violin parts. Bruno steps in a couple times, and he rounds out our sound on this piece. All eyes are on Theo when he plays his amazing lines. The piece starts and ends with him. He plays with his eyes shut tight. My heart thuds. I really like him. I feel it like a physical pain.
The song ends just when I feel like my heart might burst. The applause and smiles and good feelings are just so overwhelming.
“You guys are amazing. Thanks for welcoming us. We’re the Sparrows. Good night!” Evita says. We take a few quick bows and run back to the green room. We all squeal and hug and laugh.
Bruno stands back, rubbing his beard and smiling. “You guys are incredible. Really. You’re onto something.”
“Yeah?” Evita says. But she knows it. “I feel like I’m going to burst into flames! Does that make sense?”
“Absolutely.” Alice laughs.
“And you!” Evita says to Alice. “You are the greatest singer. I could kiss you! And you!” she says to me. “And you!” she says to Theo, whom she actually does kiss squarely on the lips. He just laughs. The funk he was in seems to have disappeared.
Bruno’s behind me. His hand is on my lower back again. “Round of sodas on me, guys.”
* * *
Back in the club, a DJ starts spinning benign and uninteresting house music, and the crowd starts dancing. A lot of people come over to congratulate Evita and the rest of us.
“It’s crazy hot in here,” Evita says over the music. She fishes in her pocket for a hair tie and puts her hair up in a messy bun, then discards her giant sweater. She’s wearing just a ribbed tank top with her jeans now, and she looks almost mainstream. She’s easily one of the cutest girls in the whole place, and a few people are checking her out for sure. But Theo insists on being the only one to buy her drinks. She downs a Sprite and pulls Theo back onto the floor. Theo reaches for my hand, too.
“You know I don’t dance,” I tell him. The thought of it mortifies me. I don’t even dance when it’s just the three of us.
Theo shrugs at me. “You could have fooled me onstage. It’s nice to see you let loose, Burke.” He and Evita disappear into the crowd. I can feel Bruno hovering behind me.
“You just bared your soul up on that stage and you aren’t going to dance even a little?” Bruno asks.
“Dancing to this music is not my thing.”
“It’s not mine, either. But I’d dance with you,” Bruno says, holding out his hand.
Screw it, I think. Maybe it’s the top I’m wearing, and the way my bare shoulders make me feel sort of exposed and maybe a little sexy. Or maybe it’s the high of performing. But I am so much less concerned with looking stupid while I dance than I’ve ever been.
“I always feel like a moron.” I laugh as I start to move just my shoulders to the beat.
“There’s a trick to it, you know,” he says. “You have to pretend you’re in your bedroom. And, well, barring that, just follow your goofy partner’s lead.” He starts nodding his head to the beat, and then shaking his hips a little bit.
He starts off fairly goofy, and we’re both laughing. But soon we’re dancing closer and I’m moving enough that I can feel my ponytail swishing against the exposed skin on my back. He puts his fingertips on my spine and we dance even closer still. We’re not grinding. It’s not like that. But it does feel sort of sexy, to be touched and to be moving to this music that sounds better by the minute.
After what feels like only a few minutes, though my tired legs would beg to differ, Evita finds us. “I’m totally gonna steal Lacey in a few minutes. I’m tired, and I’m her ride.”
“You sober?” Bruno asks her. Perhaps because she’s almost impossibly giddy.
“Of course! I know the dangers of drinking and driving because I am in this great senior seminar class,” Evita says with a giggle. “Twenty minutes, okay?” she says to me. She disappears back into the crowd, which is much bigger than it was for our set, and I realize I haven’t seen Theo.
“It’s hot in here,” Bruno says, and I follow him outside. It’s chilly, even for October, and my jacket is back in the green room, but it feels good for a minute. We walk away from the entrance a little way, to a crowd of smokers, and Bruno pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.
“You smoke?” I ask him.
“You want one?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’m pretty sure Evita was trying to set us up so I’d kiss you.”
“Oh yeah?” he asks, feeling in his pocket for a lighter. “And?”
“Well. I’m not going to kiss a smoker. No offense,” I tell him. The words spill out, and I hope it’s not mean.
He considers this for a moment, then puts the cigarette back in the box, which goes back into his pocket. Then he raises his eyebrows at me. And I think, yeah, this could work. Dancing with him was easy, kissing him shouldn’t be that weird. But when I realize he’s lowering his head to kiss me, I burst out laughing.
I’m such a freak. Who laughs when somebody’s about to kiss them? “Sorry. It’s too weird.”
He shakes his head and laughs, too. “No worries. I’m gonna light this thing, then.” Once he locates his lighter, he looks pretty pleased.
“Should I be hurt that it was a toss-u
p between a cigarette and kissing me?” I ask him.
“Oh, it was not a toss-up. This is a consolation prize,” he says slyly.
I roll my eyes and pfffff, which now just makes me think about Theo. “Okay. Well. Hopefully I’ll see you around. But I guess I should find Evita and Theo.”
“Hug?” he asks me. “Another consolation prize?”
I hug him. “Thanks for getting me to dance.”
“Your music was killer, by the way,” he says with a puff of smoke.
“Thanks.” I wave lamely at him and go back inside. That didn’t go as planned, but nothing can shake how good I feel right now.
It’s easy finding Evita because, even though the music is loud, I can hear her laughing. “You ready to go?” I ask her. She nods and walks back toward the green room.
“Where’s Theo?” I ask her when we’re backstage where it’s marginally quieter.
“Dude. Theo and Alice left a while ago.”
“Why did he leave?”
“I don’t know. But I am super exhausted, and I can’t stand this music. Is it okay that we’re leaving now? I mean, you and Bruno…”
“Totally fine. I’m tired, too. Maybe you can just take me home, though? I kinda want to sleep in my own bed.”
“You and Theo are so not fun.” She reaches into her pocket for the keys. She pops the trunk just as someone from the bar carries out some of Evita’s equipment. “Careful with that!” she says, grabbing the little mixer from him and laying it tenderly in the trunk as if it were a baby bird.
“So, your show was great,” this guy says as I take the keyboard from him. “Any chance you’d want to come back two weeks from Friday and play again?”
Evita looks at me with an enormous grin. “Yeah! Absolutely!”
“Should we check with Theo and Alice?” I ask.
“I’m saying yes. But I’ll call you tomorrow to confirm.” Evita holds out her hand. When he takes it, she puts her other hand on top of his. It looks almost presidential.
The Birds, the Bees, and You and Me Page 10