by Lucy Adler
Please no. Please no.
“Daria. You’re first.”
I hate my life.
Daria slid out of her chair and walked as slowly as she could without being more awkward than normal. She took her spot at the teacher’s podium and looked down at his tablet. There was a black background on the screen, with a bright red button flashing in the middle. It said, “Press to begin Performance.”
What if I just... don’t?
She knew she couldn’t do that. So she lifted her right hand up and pressed it.
Instantly, a math problem appeared in front of her, and on the big screen as well. There were X’s and Y’s and five - or maybe seven - lines drawn in various arcs and circles. There was a graph, too, and then lots of words. This wasn’t just some equation to be solved. There was application as well. Some kind of architectural or engineering thing, she thought.
Seriously. I actually hate my life. Kill me. Now.
Daria tried to read the words carefully but she felt every eye boring into the back of her head. She felt every second ticking, ticking, ticking... It felt like an eternity. But then, at the same time, she had no idea how much time was actually passing. Had it been an eternity? Or was she working at a reasonable pace?
I think, maybe...
She started to touch and move the arcs and circles around the screen. She selected an X here and a Y there and tried to move them into their proper positions. Then she started to write a few numbers with her finger.
What the heck? Am I actually doing this...
“Aaaand, time. Too much time, in fact.”
Her teacher walked up next to her and pointed at his watch.
Twenty-three seconds? I’m dead.
“You either know it or you don’t, Ms. Grayson. And obviously, you don’t.”
“But I think I was almost --”
“Almost?” her teacher repeated.
“I know,” Daria said, her head falling a bit as she looked down at the floor.
“Anyone care to tell me the meaning of ‘almost’?”
“Nothing!” one of the girls called out.
“Precisely. And what comes of nothing?”
“Nothing!” several of the students said in unison.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” they all repeated together this time.
“Thank you, Ms. Grayson,” the teacher said, tapping her on the back, “you may be seated.”
_______________________
“You can’t fail any more of those. You know that, right?”
“Obviously, Brix.”
The two of them waited in line for their lunch.
What’s on the menu? Slop? Slop? Oh, wait, no... it’s slop! You gotta love slop.
Daria tried not to look too closely at the food, to avoid getting nauseas before she ate it. There was no avoiding the nausea after.
The servers scooped up two ladlefuls of grey gravy with chunks of meat-like material floating inside. They poured it over the pile of whitish goop already on their plates. It was a tacky, tasteless, protein-rich food that simplified the task of providing healthy lunches to students. When combined with the gravy, the meal contained one-third of your daily requirement of every vitamin and mineral, all in perfect balance, along with one-third of your daily protein as well.
“Where do you want to sit?”
“I don’t care.”
“Do you ever?”
“Do I ever what?”
“Care?”
“Look, I already had my quiz for today, ok?” Daria said, giving Brix a sharp look.
“Relax, Dashy, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
They made their way to the corner of the cafeteria, near a window that overlooked the field at the back of the school.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
Daria picked at her white stuff and sloshed the gravy around between it.
“Cause I’ll just listen. I promise.”
“Just the same old stuff. What’s there to say?”
“You’re still...” Brix glanced to the side before she finished the sentence. Then she whispered, “Tired?”
Daria imitated her with a couple of exaggerated head movements, as if she were a fugitive on the run.
“Yes, Brix. Tired. Like always.”
Her friend didn’t really know what to say. So she kept her promise and just listened.
“It won’t stop. Doesn’t matter how many pills. I had a double dose halfway through the day yesterday and I still had to pinch myself awake on the bus.”
“You’re not still doing that, are you?”
Daria looked embarrassed.
“That can’t be good for your skin, Dashy.”
“Not like anyone ever sees it in this,” she said, tugging at her grey uniform.
“Have you tried doubling up in the morning? You know, starting the day off with a kick?”
“Once or twice. It didn’t do anything.”
“Are you getting your full 45 at night?”
“Most nights.”
“Most?”
“Sometimes, I get 60,” she whispered.
“That might be your problem,” Brix said with wide eyes, hoping she may have just diagnosed and cured her friend in one fell swoop. “You know what they say about the dangers of too much sleep.”
“It’s so strange but when I have those nights, it’s the only time I feel like I can get out of bed the next morning. The feeling only lasts like ten minutes but it’s great. It feels like it used to, back before whatever this is started happening to me.”
Brix just shook her head in confusion. She was a good friend but she couldn’t process any more creepy health talk right now.
“You’re special, Ms. Dashy Grayson!”
“I’d rather not be,” Daria replied as she speared the last two chunks of meat-like food on her plate and forced them into her mouth.
_______________________
“I got a text from your teacher today.”
“Which one?”
“Should I expect to hear from more than one?”
“No, I guess not. Probably Michaels, right? Was it about Math?”
“That’s right.”
“So he told you how I failed the quiz?”
“Twenty-three seconds, honey?” Her mom shook her head and furrowed her brow. “Come on, Daria, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve told you. More than once.”
Her mom rolled her eyes this time but tried to look away as she did it. As if Daria wouldn’t notice.
“Why don’t you want to succeed?”
“You think I don’t want to succeed? You think I like being laughed at? Being the class idiot? No, the school idiot? Why would anyone want that?”
Her mom gave her a look of pity and then rubbed her shoulder. The same one Jake had squeezed earlier.
It’s just not the same when she does it.
“Why don’t you get nice and comfortable in your room and take a four-minute break before you start your homework?” her mother said with a big smile. Her tone sounded like she was giving Daria permission to steal a car... and rob a bank. “I won’t tell your father,” she added, putting her finger to her mouth.
Oh wow, so thoughtful.
“Whatever. I don’t need it. I’m fine.”
_______________________
“Goodnight, dear.”
“Night, mom.”
Daria was already under the covers when her mom passed by her door. She was checking on her but trying to do it casually.
Keep trying.
“Oh,” her mom said, stopping before she had walked away. She leaned her head into the doorway.
“I’ve had a talk with your father...”
Oh great.
“...and I think tomorrow is going to be a much better day, honey!”
What is she talking about?
“Sleep well!”
2
Month: 3 | Day: 6 | Yea
r: 60
DIVOTS
Lap four. Only two more.
She looked up at the office building again. This time, though, she looked past it, at the blue sky above. The clouds were moving a little faster than normal. Most were puffy and white, your typical clouds. But one of them was wispy, its shape in constant flux as the wind carried it over the city.
So beautif- Oooww!!
The toe of her shoe had caught on a small divot, sending Daria face-first into the ground. For once, she was actually glad that she hadn’t been running faster.
“Dasher! What’s your problem?” the coach screamed from across the field.
Daria rolled over and looked up at the sky again. The wispy cloud was almost out of sight over the roof of the school.
Screw it.
Instead of getting up, she laid there the three or four seconds it took to catch the last glimpse of it before it disappeared forever.
“Dasher! Don’t make me ask you again! Finish your laps!”
By this point, the rest of the team was done but Daria had her whole sixth lap left. The coach could have dismissed them. There was no reason to make them wait for her. But he didn’t. And they waited, watching every tired step as she finally crossed the finish line.
She did her best to ignore the jokes, the pointing, even the snorting. But as she was trying to block out every sound, she heard one that slipped past her defences.
“Dasha! Wait up!”
Oh my gosh. Really?!
“Dasha, are you ok?”
Yup, he saw it.
Daria turned around slowly, trying casually to wipe the dirt off her face. She was about as casual as her mom sneaking past her bedroom.
“Hey Jake, what’s up?”
“Well, that was kind of intense, right? You sure you’re ok?” He reached up and gently put his hand on her head, like he was feeling for a fever.
Ahh, that’s the stuff.
“Yeah, it’s cool. I’m fine. Divots... am I right?”
Just shut up, Daria.
“You wanna grab a coffee and do some homework together? I can help you with whatever you want?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure, that’d be fine.”
Quiz me on your eyes, or your hair. I’m ready!
“Cool,” he replied with a smile, “well, I’ll meet you in the Library in a little bit?”
“I’m ready now.”
“Uh... don’t you want to change first?”
“Oh yeah, I was just kidding!”
Stupid.
Daria laughed and then wiped her face again for a second. “I’ll meet you in about fifteen minutes?”
“Can’t wait!”
Me neither!
_______________________
“So, where’s Justine today?”
“Oh, she had a thing with her parents. Some special testing to see if she might be able to skip next year.”
Of course.
“That’s great! I bet she’s pretty excited.”
“Definitely.”
Jake’s tone wasn’t quite the same as usual.
Could they be...? No, don’t get your hopes up.
They got their coffees from the machine in the hall. They each waved their wristband in front of a sensor, then hit the button that said ‘Coffee’. A silver cup emerged from a small sliding door, then the black liquid poured down from a nozzle above it, leaving just enough room so you could carry it safely without spilling. As for milk, sugar, or honey, they were considered frivolous for use as condiments under the Progress Guidelines.
They made their way across the Library, which was really just a large study area with an outdated name. Books had been phased out even before traditional cars. Paper and the industry surrounding the printing, binding, and shipping of physical books was all considered wasteful and inefficient. Besides, why spend time browsing a library or a bookstore when you could just tap your tablet, or use voice commands, and start reading whatever you wanted in seconds?
Jake suggested the table that was furthest from everyone else, and Daria was more than happy with his choice.
Nice and cozy.
“What should we get into first?” she asked.
Besides us, our future, how you’re sick and tired of Justine... She’s such a bore, Dasha. Will you fill the void in my life and make me whole again? Oh, poor Jake, you know I’m here for you...
“How about Math?” he replied.
“Exactly what I was thinking!”
They spent about an hour working through the day’s assignments, sharing their screens and quizzing each other along the way. Jake even helped break down the problem that had caused her so much grief the day before.
Why does it all make sense when he explains it?
“So, Daria, can I...” He trailed off and there were a few seconds of silence.
“Number 13? I know, I had trouble with that one too.”
“Uh, no. It’s not about math.”
It took a second or two before his words registered with her. Then she quickly set her tablet down and gave him her full attention.
What could this be...?
“Well, you were asking about Justine earlier...”
“Yeah...?”
“I wanted to tell you...” He paused again. Daria would normally have been only half-aware of his words, losing herself in those velvety brown eyes of his. But her heart started beating faster and her palms got a little warmer.
No. Way. Is it...?!
“We kinda... broke up.”
Are you freaking kidding me right now?!
“Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry,” she replied softly, frowning and giving him her best sad eyes.
“Thanks.”
This is really all I needed. I feel totally awake! Pills?! Who the heck needs pills?
She reached out and gave his hand a quick rub.
“You doin’ ok with it?” she asked.
“Yeah, you know, it’s tough but it’ll be fine.” He looked down at his tablet and poked at the screen a few times.
“Well, if you want to talk or anything, you know I’m always here.”
“Thanks, Dash. I know.” As he said it, he reached over and squeezed her hand.
And they lived happily ever after...
_______________________
She didn’t have to pinch herself awake on the bus that evening. In fact, she thought she might never have to pinch herself awake ever again. It’s not like Jake had expressed his undying love for her. Yet. It was only a matter of time though, right? The best minds in Progress had never been able to crack the 45-minute rest barrier, but Daria was feeling like she would never have to sleep again.
“Nice face-plant, loser,” her brother said as she walked up to the house. He was sitting outside, doing homework on the white gravel lawn.
“Thanks, kid. I hope you had a lovely day too,” she replied with a genuine smile.
“Mom, I’m home!” She dropped her bag by the door and kicked off her shoes.
“Mom?”
Daria walked into the kitchen, then the living room.
Where is she? She’s always here to give me my chores. We wouldn’t want me to be doing nothing now, would we? What a horrible idea...
“Mom?”
As she rounded the corner into the dining room at the back of the house, Daria saw her mom, dad, and three men sitting together at the square table. Two of the men were rather large and had to squeeze together on one side. She thought they looked pretty silly.
“Daria, you’re home!” her mom said with a smile. “Come, sit down. We’ve been waiting for you!”
“What’s going on?”
“We’ll explain it all in a second. Just sit down.”
“Sit, Daria,” her dad growled.
What the...?
There was an extra chair ready for her beside her mom. She sat down slowly and then looked across everyone’s faces. They were all staring back at her, like she was a science experiment or some animal in a zoo.
“Daria, these men are from the Caxton-Meyers Institute.”
“Hello, Daria,” one of them said, the one who wasn’t doubled up on his side of the table.
She didn’t reply.
“They’ve got some good news for you,” her mother said with excitement.
The man cleared his throat and folded his hands.
“You see, Daria, we think you’re special...”
That can’t be good.
“...and we think that you need some special attention for a while.”
That’s even worse.
“So we’ve cleared a spot for you at our facility. We’d love it if you would join us.”
He tried to smile but it looked so fake, it made her more nauseas than a plateful of white stuff and gravy.
“How am I special?” She knew what they meant but she wanted to make them say it out loud.
Cowards.
The men looked at each other, and then at Daria’s parents. Her dad took responsibility for answering.
“We gotta kick this tiredness thing, kid. It’s not ok. We gotta figure out why you’re doing this to yourself.”
“Doing this to myself?! Are you for real right now?!”
“You’re on the right dose. You’re sleeping your 45 a night. There’s no reason you should be feeling the way you do. It has to be in your head. So these gentlemen are going to get in there and get to the bottom of it.”
Daria couldn’t speak. But it wasn’t that she didn’t have anything to say - it was that she had too much to say. The words jammed together in her mind. Her heart was beating faster and faster. Her hands were shaking.
“Why don’t you go up to your room and pack a couple of uniforms, your pajamas, and your home tablet,” the man said quietly, like he was talking to a mental patient.
Is that what I am?
She glanced around the room in a panic as the walls felt like they were beginning to spin. She blinked several times and rubbed her eyes. Her mom touched her hand.
“Honey? Your things?”