by Lucy Adler
“How though?”
“Let’s stop here,” he replied, pausing on some rocks in an opening between the trees.
Daria stepped up onto the highest point beside him. They were looking out over the cabin a few hundred feet down the slope. The rustling of a gentle breeze filled the trees just behind them, as did the chirps and whistles of a few passing birds. Daria’s hands hung at her sides, and she couldn’t help wishing Jake was holding one of them.
There are more important things going on, Dashy. Just enjoy it for what it is.
“As we’ve been hinting since you arrived,” Jake said, answering her last question, “you’re something unique.”
Daria just nodded. She was a little embarrassed at the idea.
“You know how Corey was disguised as a doctor when we escaped from the Institute?”
“Yeah?”
“We’ve had a few people here and there along the way, keeping an eye on you. Ever since that first day you and I met, actually.”
“Where? Who? I never really noticed...”
Wait a minute... is that why he...?
Her heart started beating a little faster and she folded her arms to try to calm it.
“At that first examination, the nurse was working with us. That’s how we confirmed what we suspected all along.”
“So, who else?” she asked casually, as if she weren’t really that interested.
“Well, the two nurses at the next two examinations were also with us, of course. And there were a few teachers along the way, mostly substitutes we’d rotate in from time to time.”
Jake seemed to get a little awkward as he continued.
“And then there was... me.”
“Oh.”
Daria tried to keep her breathing steady and her face relaxed but it was hard not to furrow her brow just a little. She turned away from him, pretending to look for a bird that was singing off to her right.
“Dash, I don’t want you to --”
“Well, if I’m so special,” she said, cutting him off but still looking away in the direction of the bird, “you should get on to the important stuff. I probably have a lot to learn.”
“Um, ok, sure.” Jake stuttered a bit more as he told her to sit down and try to relax somewhere on the rocks. Wherever she felt like she could sit for at least an hour or so.
Daria followed his orders and found a place that allowed her to stretch out. Julia had left some clothes for her that morning - just a simple pair of grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a black hoodie. She unzipped the outer layer and used it as a pillow. All in all, she managed to find a reasonably comfortable position.
“A sleeper’s powers,” Jake said as he began her first lesson, “are accessed - surprise, surprise - through sleep!” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Daria had closed her eyes and kept them closed. She listened quietly.
“Uh, yeah, anyway,” he continued, “you’ll need to cultivate a sensitivity to the gift inside you. Remember that purple glow from the brain scans? It’s in you, too. And you’ll need a quiet mind so you can let it carry you off to sleep as quickly as possible.”
Daria may have been lying still but her mind couldn’t have been more stirred up. It wasn’t a single thought or image, though. It was more like a traffic jam, a gridlock created by too many thoughts - and too many memories - all of them now tainted with an agonising feeling of humiliation.
Was any of it real, then?
“Your goal is the dream-state. The place where you’ll become a conduit for the power that already exists inside of you, allowing it to interact with the physical reality around you.”
She could sense Jake kneel down beside her, then she felt his hand on her forehead. Just a month ago, it would have relaxed her like nothing else. Now, it just added to the embarrassment.
“Then comes the exciting part. As the conduit, you’re like the banks of a river. You can twist and turn and the power will change its course and intensity. This is how we can go from the dream figure you saw Corey produce, to jumping locations, like you saw me do. We move with the power and it moves with us.”
He removed his hand but was still kneeling.
Just let it go for now. C’mon, Dashy. Focus.
“But here’s the most important part. Never forget this. You do not own it or command it. It’s not yours like a talent or a skill. But, the more in tune with it you become, the more you’ll experience its potential inside you. You’ll begin to sense where it wants to go, and it will sense what you’re capable of - sometimes before you know it yourself. But if you listen, and if you’re willing, together you’ll create something beautiful and fearsome.”
The breeze, the birds, the sun on her face... all of it was helping Daria move past her emotions and listen to Jake’s words for what they were, not for who was saying them. And as she did, she felt something.
It was as if the words passed through her ears and her mind, only to meet themselves coming up from some place deep inside her. There was a resonance in her head and chest. And there was the overwhelming feeling of actual peace and stillness, unlike what she pretended when the lesson began.
“The more connected you become with the gift inside you, the more quickly -- ut don’t worry if -- not everyon -- ust rela --”
_______________________
Blackness.
Like a wall, it stood in front of her, obscuring her vision of anything else.
It’s not moving this time.
She found herself reaching out, not with her hand but with her thoughts. She perceived that it was only a thin barrier. A veil, perhaps.
She paused, waiting for something.
What now?
The veil was a single piece of whatever it was, so that no seam or opening appeared to her.
And yet, she felt the urge to pass by it. To pass through it.
But how? Where?
The urge was insistent this time.
THROUGH.
She stepped forward, her nose nearly touching the blackness. She felt her breath as it gathered between her face and the veil.
THROUGH.
Then she stepped again.
Suddenly, the veil was no more, and instead of feeling close and confined, the space around her stretched out farther than she could see or feel in every direction. It was darkness and light at the same time. And though Daria could perceive it, she couldn’t comprehend it.
Flecks of purple hung in the air, like stars in the night sky - or like the gold and silver snowflakes she saw just before Jake had appeared at the facility. Only, the purple stars were softer, glowing and radiating their light instead of flashing like metal reflecting the sun. Some of them pulsated slowly, while others glided across the open space, leaving purple streaks that faded a few seconds later, like the tails of dozens of small comets.
And just like ancient rocks hurtling through the galaxy in streaks of fire, the light felt old.
Or rather, without time altogether.
Daria was both comforted and frightened by it.
But between the two extremes, she also felt connected to it, as though it were welcoming her - no, bidding her - to walk amongst it. And this new feeling gave her courage.
So she stepped forward.
Then, suddenly, darkness enveloped her and she lost sight of the purple stars. It was like a slow-moving cyclone had risen up from beneath her, and she was now standing in its eye, frozen in place as the blackness swirled and churned around her.
It was exactly like her dream the previous night. And just like in the dream, the darkness began to close in on her, and she felt its crushing presence.
_______________________
“It’s alright, Dash! I’m here! I’m right here! You’re fine!”
As Daria became aware of her surroundings, she realised that she was still seated on the rock, on the side of the hill, just above the cabin. And Jake was holding her in his arms.
“It’s ok,” he repeated, “you’re fine. You’re
safe.”
The sunlight made her squint until her eyes adjusted to it.
“What happened?” she asked. She could feel that her body had been sweating.
“You gasped a few times, like you were choking. Then you started moving around pretty violently. I was worried you might fall off the rocks, or hit your head. So I held on to you until you woke up.”
“How long was I asleep?”
“Only a few minutes.”
“What was that? What was I seeing?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anyone react like that. Maybe you should tell me what you saw?”
Daria sat up on her own now and Jake gave her some space. She tugged at her shirt a little to get some air moving around her. She was overheated, even though it was a fairly cool afternoon.
“I saw a curtain thing. Like a black veil.”
“Yup, that’s what we call it, the Veil,” Jake said with a nod.
“Then I sort of walked through it, I guess you could say.”
“Why?” he asked, his eyes squinting a little. “I mean, how did you know you could?”
“I don’t know. I just... felt it? Like an impulse or an instinct.”
“Interesting.”
“Why? What is it?”
“The Veil marks the dream-state.” Then Jake sat back and looked off across the valley below them. He shook his head a little and then looked down at the rock where they were sitting.
“Why are you shaking your head like that?”
“It’s just amazing, that’s all,” he replied with a smile. Then he looked over at her and their eyes met.
Daria forgot about the purple lights for a second, and the black cyclone, and felt like she was back at school again. Those deep brown eyes always disarmed her.
He was only doing a job, apparently. He was never really into you.
As depressing as the thought was, Daria couldn’t help herself. She allowed those old emotions to flood her mind and all she could see was the old Jake.
But he didn’t look away either.
In fact, Jake slid closer to her on the rock.
Close enough to lean in and kiss her, right on the lips.
_______________________
“So did you two have a good time up there?” Aury asked as they returned to the cabin.
“Yeah, all good,” Jake said casually, holding the front door open for Daria.
“It was definitely interesting,” she added.
“Awesome! Well, Max got some lunch ready. We kinda figured that you’d both be hungry after gettin’ all dreamy up there.”
Daria’s eyes widened and she felt a little shot of adrenaline. But before her face turned red with embarrassment, Jake clarified.
“That’s Aury-speak for entering the dream-state!” he laughed.
“Max has his funky words, why can’t I have mine?” she replied with a smile. Then she went back to the kitchen to help set the food out.
After the kiss, Jake hadn’t continued the lesson. They just enjoyed the moment, sitting quietly and holding hands until he said they needed to get back before anyone started to worry.
The group gathered around the table and filled their bowls with Max’s signature tomato bisque soup. There were also two baskets of rolls, piping hot from the oven, a cutting board with two blocks of cheese on it, and a small plate bearing the last shavings of leftover roast.
“So, we’ve all been waiting to find out,” Julia began. “How did it go up there?”
“Did you translocate back down here?” Aury laughed.
“Uh, no,” Daria replied. “I’m really not sure what happened, actually.”
“You were up there a while. Didn’t Jake explain it to you?” she asked innocently.
“I sorta thought maybe we could all enjoy Daria’s learning experience together,” he said, laughing awkwardly.
Julia raised an eyebrow but Max didn’t think anything of it.
“Had a quick feather and flip, and a custard cream, eh Bo-Peeper?” he said with a wink.
“Maaaybe?” Daria replied, once again in total confusion.
“Feather and Flip. Kip, which means ‘nap’. As for Bo-Peeper, I kinda changed that one up a bit, just for us,” he smiled proudly. “Bo-Peeper is Sleeper. But c’mon, you can guess Custard Cream, can’t you?”
Daria thought about it for a minute.
“Oh, right!” she said as the answer became obvious. “Dream.”
“Bingo! Look at you, skin! Well done!”
“Ok, let’s pick up your ‘English as a Second Language’ class a little later,” Julia said firmly but politely. Max raised his hands in surrender and Julia looked back in Daria’s direction.
“So, what did you see? How did it go?”
Daria told them the whole dream - from passing through the veil, to the purple stars and comets, to her attempt at walking amongst them, to the black cyclone that surrounded her. When she had finished, they all remained silent, staring at her in what appeared to be varying degrees of either disbelief or admiration.
Corey broke the silence first.
“Yup,” he said, smiling widely, “you’re exactly what we hoped you were!” Then he gave the table a little slap as he laughed excitedly.
“Can someone tell me what that is, please?” Daria asked the group. “I’ve had two pretty scary experiences now when I’ve fallen asleep, but you all seem to be happy about it. Can you let me in on the secret, maybe?”
“Do you remember those brain scans?” Julia asked.
“The purple glow.”
“How much of the brain was covered? Did my sister talk about that?”
Daria thought about it for a moment. The Institute felt like a lifetime ago now. She could hardly believe that it had been less than forty-eight hours since she had seen Miss Croft.
“I remember her saying that about 5% of the brain was usually effected by it. That no one had it worse than that.”
“Well, that’s not entirely accurate,” Julia replied with a smile.
“Sooo, you guys have more than that?” Daria asked, looking around the table.
“Not us,” Aury replied, shaking her head quickly.
“You, Dash,” Jake answered. “That’s why we were watching you, monitoring you the last two years. See, a high enough dose of Sendrax can suppress a sleeper’s powers indefinitely. Rather than hauling off everyone with a purple glow, they just up your dose. And for most sleepers, that’s enough to keep them inactive and unaware of the dream-state.”
“So there are still other sleepers down there?” Daria said, pointing back over her shoulder toward Progress.
“Yes.”
“How many?”
“We have no idea,” Julia answered. “Could be dozens, could be tens of thousands.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“Anyway,” Jake said, picking up where he had left off, “then there are some sleepers who respond to Sendrax only temporarily. But the glow - their gift - is too strong and can’t be suppressed.”
“Miss Croft talked about them. I think I even saw some pictures. Don’t they take them to the hospitals, where the Benevolent Ones care for them?”
“Murder them!” Aury interjected. Her lips quivered and her eyes looked sharper than usual. Max put his arm around her and rubbed her shoulder.
“It’s true,” Jake said quietly. “The official story is that they’re ill, and that their affliction will eventually consume them. So the Benevolent Ones tend to them as long as possible, making them comfortable, until they pass away on their own.”
“And the truth?”
Jake gave Max a glance. He nodded and then whispered something to Aury, who had been staring down at the table. The two of them got up and left the room, then Jake continued.
“Cold-blooded murder. Plain and simple. They put them on an IV of Sendrax until it overloads their system and kills them. Depending on whether or not they’ve been taking their pills, it can take anywhere from a couple of days t
o a week before they die. And the pain is excruciating.”
“Why don’t they just shoot them or something? Just kill them quickly.”
“That’s the mind of the Dark,” Corey chimed in. “It delights in suffering.”
“So if I’m one of these sleepers with too much glowy stuff on the brain, why didn’t they just send me to the Benevolent Ones?”
“Ah, now we come to it!” Corey said.
“Because you were an experiment,” Jake replied. “The Direx they were feeding you seemed to be working.” He looked at Corey to continue.
“Like we told you already, they were slipping it into your pills, your food, even your water. They were trying to find the optimal levels to keep you permanently suppressed as a sleeper. The shot you were about to get was intended to last a year. Well, a year for you. It’s supposed to be a permanent ‘fix’ for the average sleeper. You would have been given another each year after that.”
“What about becoming a part of the team to help cure sleepers? I was supposed to join some training program.”
“One reason was to keep you close,” Corey said. “They still needed to monitor you. But there was more to it than that.”
“What else?”
“Well, that’s the million-dollar question, Dasha,” he said with a shrug. “I’m afraid I don’t know what else Dr. Reston was up to besides engineering Direx, or why he was so interested in you.”
They were all quiet for a minute, then Jake returned to her more recent experiences.
“Because of the extent of your gift, you’re sensing the power within you much more intensely than most do at first. You’re feeling it, like you said up on the hill, as if it were an instinct. That’s good. But at the same time, the Dark senses your gift, too. And it’s challenging you more intensely than it does with most new sleepers. I never felt the Crushing until I had been exploring my powers for at least a year.”
“Two years for me,” Corey said.
“Same,” Julia added.
“And what did you do about it?” Daria asked. “I can’t even move when it comes over me.”
“That’s something you’re going to have to learn as you work with your gift,” Julia replied. “It’s not the same for all of us. But you’ll know it when you sense it. Just be patient.”