by Natasha West
‘What?’
Robyn looked down at her hands. Those hands covered with little burns and cuts, the result of a lifetime in a kitchen. Death by a thousand wounds. That’s what it was to bake. Not only was it physically hard, but she poured her whole self into everything she made. And then she gave it to other people. Every time she baked, she risked a little of her body, a little of her soul. Add that up over years, and it mounts up. Funny how she could only see that now. The insurance investigator who calculated everything, scared to death of the unknown. She’d risked herself constantly.
Robyn didn’t have to be fragile or needy or frightened. She was OK. She’d always been OK. What she baked was for others. But the act of making something was all hers. She could do it, no matter what anyone else said. No matter what place she took today.
Because she’d risked herself with Jodie. She thought it didn’t mean anything. But it did. Jodie cared. But she’d been scared too. It was obvious now. There was so much more at stake than some stupid competition.
Robyn looked back up from her hands, at Jodie. ‘What it means is that I’m going to go and finish my salted caramel Viennese whirls.’
She gave Jodie a small kiss on the lips and walked out.
Thirty-Six
Jodie had finished her Viennese whirls. Classic style, jam and cream. Nothing fancy, just what her dad used to make. She’d considered doing something different, but in the end, she realised something. She wanted her dad to be there. And that’s how he would be. With his recipe. Because of course, it should have been him stood here today, not Jodie. He’d cared about this, and he’d made no bones about showing it.
In the end, maybe that was the legacy he’d tried to leave Jodie. To put herself out there, through the preparing of food. The trouble was, Jodie had always suspected she was her mother’s daughter. Unfeeling. It had its benefits, so Jodie had leaned into it. Because she wasn’t her father, generous and warm. But Billy didn’t think Jodie was like their mother either. That woman had been a coward and nothing more. She’d run.
But Jodie had stayed. She wasn’t a coward. Maybe she wasn’t really cold, either. And the woman making salted caramel Viennese biscuits a few metres away, that was how Jodie knew she wasn’t hard. Jodie saw Robyn, and she saw how much she hurt just from being in the world. Jodie had tried to protect her from that. Because she did care, whether she wanted to or not. She wanted to shield her from the stupidity of people like Madeline, Dorothy, Alex, the people who blundered about, smashing into everyone without knowing or caring. But Jodie couldn’t shield Robyn, not truly, not from herself. So she’d tried to give her a shield of her own, with a few awkward words. It was not Jodie’s speciality, and she had flailed and felt silly and embarrassed.
But then something had happened. Robyn had seemed to understand what Jodie was saying. Maybe better than Jodie herself did. And now Robyn was bringing her biscuits out, smiling, happy. The transformation was confusing.
What wasn’t confusing to Jodie was biscuits. So she piped out her simple filling and pressed her biscuits together and looked down at them and was satisfied. Her dad would have thought they were good. So that was something.
***
Jodie and Robyn were listening to Madeline’s bullshit spiel, and Jodie just wished it would be over now. She’d had enough of Bake It! She wanted to go home and figure out what she was going to do next. Possibly find a one-bed for herself.
She glanced across at Robyn. Robyn gave her a shy smile and a wink. Jodie smiled, feeling heat creep up the back of her neck, which she tried to ignore.
But she was amazed at how calm Robyn seemed. Even during the judging, she’d been practically blasé as Adam had tried her biscuits and said good things as well as critical things, saying salted caramel was boring. She just nodded and said, ‘Thanks, Adam. But I like it.’
Her own judging had gone similarly. ‘Tasty, but is it enough?’ Adam had asked. ‘That’s up to you, mate,’ Jodie told him. He tried to laugh her joke off, but it was obvious he didn’t like it.
And now came the moment. Despite what Jodie had said to Robyn about winning not changing anything, she was sort of hoping it went Robyn’s way. She wanted her to be happy.
‘And the winner of season nine of Bake It! is… Jodie.’
‘Wait, what?!’ Jodie gasped.
She heard Robyn lightly chuckle beside her. ‘So you can be surprised.’
Adam, Imogen, and Madeline descended on her, congratulating her and fist-pumping her all over the place. Her head was spinning. She hadn’t really thought she’d win, she realised.
Jodie turned to Robyn, and they locked eyes. Robyn held her arms out slightly, and Jodie went into them, grabbing onto her. ‘I’m sorry, I know you wanted…’ she whispered in Robyn’s ear.
‘It’s OK,’ Robyn said. ‘I’m OK. This is for the best.’
‘How?’ Jodie asked, shocked.
‘Because I met you, and you changed me,’ Robyn whispered. ‘So maybe it wasn’t the win I wanted. But it was the one I needed.’
Jodie was overwhelmed, but she managed to whisper, ‘Can we start again?’
‘What do you mean?’ Robyn asked.
‘I mean, can we do this properly, you and me? I know I’m not an easy person but… I don’t want to be a coward. I don’t want to run away because I’m scared of how much I like you. I want to…’ Jodie felt sick with nerves, and it was nothing to do with winning. But she pressed ahead. ‘Can we go on a real date? I’ll pick you up, and we’ll go to dinner, and I’ll do the talking thing…’
Robyn leaned back from the hug, and Jodie thought it was over, that Robyn was going to walk away. But then Robyn planted a serious smacker on her in full view of the cameras. Jodie heard several gasps, but she didn’t do a thing to stop the kiss. Far from it. Let the world look.
Thirty-Seven
Eighteen months later
Madeline faced the cameras and slapped a grin on her famous mug. ‘I’m here at Luke’s Bakery to catch up with the winner of last year’s series, Jodie Jacobs.’
She spun to Jodie, standing behind the counter of the cosy bakery. ‘So, Jodie! After winning Bake It! you opened your own business! That’s fantastic!’
‘I did, indeed,’ Jodie said coolly.
Madeline suppressed a groan. This one had always been like pulling teeth. But Jodie was one of the major success stories of the show, and the channel liked to make a big deal about things like that, so here she was, talking to one of the most closed-mouthed contestants she’d ever had the misfortune to deal with. ‘You called it Luke’s? Why’s that?’
‘Luke was my father’s name. The bakery sells a lot of my dad’s recipes and it seemed only fair to give him that credit. Plus, this place used to be his house. We bought it and converted it.’
Madeline did the old head tilt, sad smile move. This was easier territory. ‘Right. Your father. He was the reason you went into baking, wasn’t he?’
‘Originally, yes.’
‘So do you have a favourite recipe of his that you like to bake?’
Jodie gave a little laugh. ‘Oh, I don’t really bake anymore, Madeline.’
Madeline was slack-jawed. ‘What? But you opened a bakery?’
‘Yes, with my partner. She does the baking, I taught her all my dad’s recipes, so his inheritance lives on. But I don’t really get my hands dirty. I’m more into the business side.’
Just at that moment, a door opened from behind the counter, and Robyn walked out, washing her hands. ‘Oh!’ she said startled to see Madeline. ‘I thought they were coming later?’ she said with shock to Jodie.
‘Nope. I marked it on your calendar. Two sharp.’
‘It's two already?’ Robyn said, horrified. ‘Where the hell has the morning gone?’
‘Baking, where else,’ Jodie said, the cold demeanour cracking slightly for her girlfriend.
Madeline thrust a mic under Robyn’s nose. ‘Robyn, you came in second place to Jodie, but as we know, the st
ory didn’t end there for you two. Starting Luke’s together, getting engaged. The public have certainly loved following this story.’
‘Which has been great from a fiscal point of view,’ Jodie said. ‘It was like a million quid’s worth of free advertising.’
‘I see,’ Madeline said, unhappily. She didn’t want this kind of talk. She wanted love and cakes. That was the brief. But Jodie could never give you what you wanted, could she? Not even now.
Luckily, Robyn was rolling her eyes at her fiancée. ‘What she means to say is that we’ve been very lucky with the public response to the bakery. And to us. It allows us to do what we love.’
Jodie gave Robyn side-eye. ‘I said what I meant.’
Robyn threw her an arched eyebrow. Jodie threw it right back. But the look broke, and they grinned at one another.
‘But Jodie was just telling us, she doesn’t bake anymore? Is that right?’ Madeline said, starting to feel invisible.
‘Nope,’ Robyn smiled. ‘She prefers the money side. Turns out she’s got a serious head for business, so the partnership works perfectly.’
‘And back to you two,’ Madeline said, trying to steer the ship in the direction of what viewers might find cute. ‘When’s the wedding?’ she asked desperately.
‘This April,’ Robyn said happily.
‘Jodie, do you think you might come out of retirement, make a cake for the big day?’
Jodie paused. Madeline waited for her response, thinking she was probably just going to get more bitchy, cold Jodie. But a smile crept onto Jodie’s lips. ‘Actually, Madeline, I think I might just make this one.’
‘Oh yes?’ Madeline asked, delighted.
‘Yeah. Because I lied. I do occasionally still bake. Only I save it for loved ones. And I love the shit out of Robyn, so I’m going to make the best fucking cake I know how to make,’ Jodie said, smiling wider. She slipped a hand into Robyn’s, who was grinning at her foul-mouthed fiancée.
Madeline was less charmed. ‘Jodie, you know we can’t broadcast that language.’
‘Why do you think I said it like that?’ Jodie asked.
Robyn interjected, saying affectionally, ‘Sorry. She’s a private person.’
‘Yes, you two are very different. It’s often talked about,’ Madeline said, turning her attention to Robyn. Robyn had been rather more malleable on the show, so she was more likely where the money would be in this interview.
But Robyn simply said. ‘Yeah, maybe.’
‘Opposites attract, I take it?’
‘They sure fucking do,’ Robyn said with a wink. Jodie burst out laughing.
Madeline turned to the camera. ‘Cut!’ The cameraman dropped his camera, and Madeline turned back to the interviewees. ‘Guys, you’re killing me here. I just need something I can use.’
‘What is it you want?’ Jodie asked.
‘I don’t know, talk about how being a couple and running a business together has its challenges or something,’ Madeline said, exasperated.
Robyn and Jodie looked at each other. Jodie raised an eyebrow at her fiancée. ‘You wanna tell Madeline how we work out our disagreements?’ Robyn pursed her lips and then snorted with laughter. ‘I think Madeline’s head would explode if I said that into the camera.’
They both laughed together as Madeline looked on. She didn’t have the first clue what was so funny.
When Jodie and Robyn had gotten ahold of themselves, Robyn turned back to Madeline and said, ‘Sorry about this. When we get going like this, we don’t know how to stop.’
‘That’s cute,’ Madeline lied.
Jodie reached under the counter and pulled out a muffin. ‘Here. Have something sweet while we put our serious faces on. It’s Robyn’s speciality. Salted caramel.’
Madeline wasn’t sure she wanted a cake right now. She was on a strict diet. But damned if the proffered muffin didn’t look on point. She took the cake and bit into it. ‘God, that’s good.’
‘Bet your arse,’ Robyn grinned.
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In the meantime, feel free to enjoy these other books by Natasha West
Hawke’s Prey
Hawke’s Game
Hawke’s Flight
The Plus One
Plus Two
Something for the Weekend
A Marriage of Connivance
Joined at the Hip
A Mistletoe Moment
Real Love
Waiting for the Punchline
Chase Me
Close-Ups and Mess Ups
Meet You at the End of the World
By Any Other Name
Never the Bride
The Dropout
Only Ever You
The A to Z of Girlfriends
Just Married?
The Matchmaker
200 Hours