I glance over my shoulder and come dangerously close to making eye contact with the newcomer.
"Hey, Rina," Seth says.
Seth Dae is the only male snow leopard in my school, so it makes sense that he makes me a little nervous. It makes even more sense when you add in the fact that he's been engaged since infancy to my best friend, Simone, as part of a deal that ended a three-way Clowder war. It was the same deal that landed me with my foster family. Unlike me, however, Seth has decided to do something about being used as a political toy, and is Challenging to be free of the betrothal.
We were certain when he initiated the Challenge that he wanted to be free to date Michaela, but he hasn't dropped it as far as I know, even though she's obviously dating someone else now. I want to ask about it, but I'd have no idea how to even start, so I stay silent as I keep my feet moving.
The treadmill next to mine hums to life and Seth's footfalls match my pace. I glance over to see that he’s dressed for working out and his long hair, a mixture of black and white that stretches nearly down his back, is tied at the nape of his neck. I keep my gaze moving, not wanting to be caught looking at him. I have no idea what he’s doing here. I mean, he’s obviously running, but he doesn’t come in here often. He’s generally more likely to be found sitting at the piano in the music room.
"It's weird," he says after a while. "Seeing you alone, I mean. Have we ever been alone before?"
Yes, we have. But Simone chewed me out afterwards, so I've taken pains to avoid it since then. The memory is almost enough to make me stop running on the treads and start running for the door, but I remind myself Simone isn't here and can't possibly know what I’m doing. Besides, is it still bad to be alone with her fiancé if he insists he isn't her fiancé?
"It's been a while," I say as I punch in a command to increase the incline of my run. A massive drop of sweat slides down my cheek, and I console myself that at least I can honestly tell Simone I was as unattractive as possible while being alone with her intended.
"Are you mad at me, too?" he asks. "I mean, I know Simone is. And I don't blame her. But I thought maybe you'd understand, at least a little."
I understand more than a little. I was taken from my family in Moscow when I was six and sent to live with Simone's in rural Alaska. When I graduate high school, I'll be sent back to a country I hardly remember without anyone asking my opinion on the matter. I try not to think about it much.
"Maybe I do understand," I admit. "But she's still my best friend."
"I know. I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "Don't apologize unless you mean it. And I don't think you do."
"So you are mad at me?"
My speed increases without me thinking about it. "Not exactly. I understand you don't want to marry her. She's a strong woman, hard to control. Hardly docile wife material."
"Docile?" He jumps off his treadmill and comes to stand in front of mine. His grey tank top really shows off the muscles in his arms as he crosses them over his chest. "What makes you think I want docile? She's not strong; she's mean. There's a big difference."
My teeth grind together as I shake my head.
"Maybe not to you," Seth goes on. "And not to me. But to other people."
It's getting hard to breathe, run, and talk all at the same time, but I grit out, "To Michaela, you mean."
"It's not limited to Mike, and you know it."
The horrible thing is, I do know it. She doesn't intend to be mean though. Well... okay, sometimes she does. But most of the time she's just trying to protect herself and the people she cares about. Even the mess with Michaela was because she was worried about the all-were hurting Seth. "She's not a bad person. And you know that."
"Maybe she isn't," he concedes. "But that makes it more important that I end this thing. Because if she's a good person, then she deserves better than someone who's with her solely because he's scared of her father."
I stare at him for several paces. It's not like that idea had never occurred to me, but something about it being said out loud by his voice rather than quietly by the one in my head makes it seem more plausible. It's been obvious for a long time that he wasn't happy with the engagement, but I always thought eventually he’d learn to see the real Simone and love her. She does deserve better than someone who has to be talked into loving her, though.
"Okay." I nod.
"Good," he says before getting back on his treadmill. "So we have a truce?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Truth be told, I wasn't really all that upset with him. I knew I should be, but... call me crazy, but I don't think arranging marriages before people have even developed their personalities is a reasonable thing to do in this day and age. I'd just never tell Simone that.
"But you did hurt her, Seth. A lot." I gasp for air. "She has feelings."
"I know. But I tried to talk to her about it before I did anything. She just wouldn't listen."
She never mentioned that to me, but it doesn't surprise me. Simone is very good at only noticing the things she wants to notice, and probably hadn't even allowed herself to realize what he was talking about.
The beep that lets me know I finished my third mile goes off, and the machine slows into cool-down mode.
Beside me, Seth brings his treadmill to a complete stop even though he's hardly used it. "I plan on apologizing for how I handled it when she gets back."
"Good." Although I hope he's prepared for her not to accept it.
I go over to the water cooler and refill my water bottle, the one from the Snow Leopard Trust with the pink snow leopard chasing an ibex on it. Slowly, I take a sip as I watch Seth from the corner of my eye. He gets off the treadmill, but hangs back like he's nervous.
"If you're training for the Challenge,” I tell him, “I recommend running longer."
"I actually wanted to talk to you about that," he says.
"Me?" I tuck a very sweaty strand of hair behind my equally sweaty left ear. "I don't know anything about cat-form combat."
"No. But you do know about moving. About reflexes and endurance."
My head tilts to the side as I try to follow what he's saying. "So you want me to teach you human-form martial arts in the hope it will somehow translate?"
"Do you have any better ideas?"
"Why me? Why not ask Billings?" I ask, naming my martial arts coach.
Seth’s amazingly blue eyes drop to the floor for a moment. "I did, actually. He said to talk to you. Seems to think you could use more experience teaching."
And I can't really argue with him. Part of qualifying for first dan is becoming a proper instructor. "You know if I help you, Simone will kill me."
He smiles like that was funny. "I won't tell her if you won't."
Of Fur and Ice Page 34