“Do you think it will hurt her if we date?” I asked, continuing to observe her reactions, and she sighed heavily.
“Maybe; but if it does, she wouldn’t tell us. Evie is the kind of person who would cheer us on, hoping we could find happiness, too, even if it was awkward for her.”
“It would be awkward for me, too.”
“How awkward?” Her eyes never left me.
“Our relationship was very . . . physical.”
“Oh. I see.” She stood there for a few moments. “I’m surprised, really. I knew she’d sworn off men that way.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, she had. What happened between us was kind of unplanned and very spur of the moment. It caught us both by surprise.” My thoughts were instantly back in that kitchen, and then in my bedroom.
Shoving the images of Evie out of my mind, I knew I needed to move on instead of constantly reliving those memories. She’d made her choice. It didn’t include me. End of story. Move on.
“So, about this weekend? Is that a yes or a no?”
Smiling, she shook her head. “What did you have in mind?”
“Something totally boring like dinner and a movie. You can even pick what you want to eat and which movie to see. I’m easy.”
“Are you?” Laughing, her eyes twinkled, her smile shining bright and white against her tanned skin. “I’ll have to see how easy.”
“Please do,” I continued, urging her on. “Life has been way too celibate around my place lately.”
She made a sympathetic frowny face. “Aw, poor little guy hasn’t got any for over a week and he thinks he’s dying, huh?” She was totally teasing me.
“Hey,” I replied with a nonchalant shrug. “Us guys, we have needs.” I could totally play this game with her. Leaning in closer, I whispered into her ear. “And there’s nothing little about this guy.” The beer was making me brazen—maybe I shouldn’t have anymore.
This was a strange conversation to be having with Misty, but for some reason it seemed to be helping me immensely. Life wasn’t over merely because Evie dumped me. Really, who else could she choose? If Kory made her happy, then I was happy for her. And if her hot, sexy secretary wanted to date me, then by all that was holy, I was going to let her. It sure as hell beat being alone.
Besides, I liked this girl; and the more I was around her, the more I liked her. Maybe she was exactly what I needed to move on.
Her eyes sparkled with humor. “Really? Now I’m totally intrigued.”
I grinned. “I thought you might be.” Shit, all she needed to do was look down at my swim trunks to verify my statement. These shorts weren’t supposed to come with a tent. Oddly enough, instead of feeling badly for having this reaction to her, I felt amazingly good instead.
Gathering her into my arms, I pulled her against me. “Next weekend?” I asked again, trying to steer this runaway train back onto the right subject.
“Pick me up at the office at six on Friday.”
My heart raced at her words. I was actually excited for this. “I’ll be there at six PM sharp.” This time I dropped my lips to hers.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Evie
“So, why did you want to come out here today?” Kory asked as we exited the vehicle. “Other than the fact that it’s a beautiful Sunday.”
“Well, I know you’ve struggled with being able to talk to me about some of the things that happened to you. I have, too. I thought bringing you here might help me talk about them with you.”
“Do you still swim here like we used to?” Kory asked, smiling.
“I did,” I replied, leaning against the hood of my car. “Up until a few weeks ago, I used to come out here pretty regularly, at least when the weather permitted it.”
“Then why’d you stop?” he asked, casually leaning beside me, close enough to be close, but still not touching. He didn’t touch me near as much as he used to. It was like he was afraid of me or something.
“I got a cramp in the middle of the lake, the last time I went out. I almost drowned. Thank goodness the local fire department was having their annual barbeque on the other side of the lake. One of the firemen happened to see me go under and he jumped in and swam out to help me.” I didn’t make eye contact with Kory, instead reliving the memories in my head—the sounds of the water, the pain in my side, the gasping for help. “I didn’t know he was coming for me. I thought I was going to die.”
“It was that bad?” Kory asked, sympathy and concern evident in his voice.
I nodded. “I remember the exact point I knew I was going to die because suddenly you were standing there, in front of me, with your arms outstretched. I thought you’d come to take me with you.”
“Wow.”
“Right before I could go to you, something grabbed my hair and began yanking me to the surface. The firefighter had managed to find me, even under the water, and he rescued me.”
“Thank God for well-trained firefighters,” Kory said, slipping his arm around my shoulder and hugging me to him. At first I stiffened in surprise, but then I melted into him, missing the contact we used to have like this.
“There’s more,” I said, knowing this would probably push him away a little. I didn’t want to do that. He’d been too far away for too long.
“Go ahead,” he encouraged.
“Well, shortly after I was rescued, I found out the very same firefighter who’d rescued me had scheduled an appointment with me for PTSD. He tried canceling, due to conflict of interest, but I asked him to keep coming. I wanted to help him.”
“Did he agree?”
“Yes, in the beginning, but he didn’t want the friends that he lived with to know why I was seeing him.” I glanced at Kory. “I can’t break confidentiality, but he had good reasons for not wanting that information to get out to them. Anyway, his friends came to the mistaken conclusion that we were dating and we just let them think it.”
I paused, trying to decide how to continue, but I was unsure. I didn’t want to hurt him.
“The two of you became an item as a result, didn’t you?” he asked, filling in the blanks for me.
I nodded, tears flooding my eyes. “I didn’t set out to be unfaithful to you. I guess all those years without you finally caught up to me and Russ filled a void I’d really needed.”
“Russ? Is that his name?”
“Russ Weston, yes. It’s sad, too, because under normal circumstances, you both would probably really like each other. You know, if I wasn’t standing in between the two of you.”
“Evie, you can’t be unfaithful to someone you thought was dead. There’s no way I’m going to hold that against you. The real question is, am I the one you want?”
“I’m here, aren’t I? I’ve been all yours since the moment you came back. Not that it means that much.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because look at us. You’ve been here for how long now, and you have yet to touch me. You’re very careful around me. I know you’ve been through a lot, but I’m beginning to wonder if you really want to be with me anymore.” Might as well get all the cards out on the table.
“I’m not necessarily trying to avoid you, Evie, rather I’m trying to avoid things that will bring us both pain. I’m not the same man who left you. That person is inside me somewhere, along with all his great memories, but I don’t know that he will ever be my ‘normal’ self, again.”
I scooted closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder. “I know you’re different now, but I’m here for you. Really. I want to help you however I can.” I was beginning to wonder if we’d ever come back to some sense of normalcy in our lives, but I was determined to stand by him. I owed it to him after all he’d been through.
My eyes drifted around the edges of the lake, resting on a group of people who were barbecuing a short way from our location, the heavenly smells from their food floating into the air, making my mouth water. Two people further down the shore were wrapped in each other’s arms and the
guy seemed to be showering the girl with kisses. Suddenly the girl said something funny and the guy tipped his head back and laughed hard.
Instantly I froze, recognizing that laughter. Peering closer, my heart sank when I realized it was Russ and Misty I was looking at. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes and I broke away from Kory.
“Uh, I don’t feel like sitting out here any longer. I’m kind of hungry. Want to go get something to eat and head back to our place?”
Kory shook his head. “Let’s just go home and finish this conversation. We can make something to eat there.”
“Okay.” I didn’t wait for him to usher me into the car, I simply went to the driver’s side and slipped in. I couldn’t seem to break my gaze away from where Misty and Russ held each other, red-hot jealousy pouring through me.
Just some friends getting together, my eye, I thought. She wants him as badly as I do.
I was being totally selfish and needed to get over myself. There was no way I could choose one guy and hope the other spent the rest of his life yearning for me. Russ was young—of course he’d be looking for someone else. It wasn’t like we had dated this huge long time or anything. It only seemed this difficult because I hadn’t been with Kory again physically yet. Once we crossed that line, everything would be okay. I just knew it. Now I simply needed to convince Kory.
***
“Come here,” Kory said as soon as we reached the condo, closing the door behind him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, noticing his concerned expression. Moving closer, I slipped my hand inside his.
“Nothing is wrong, at least not for me where it concerns you.” He slipped a hand into my hair, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “I’m sorry I showed up and put your life in such a tailspin. And I’m sure this Russ guy probably hates me for stealing you away from him; but damn, Evie, I sure am glad you picked me.”
“Are you?” I was trembling under his touch and soft words.
“I need to show you something.” Leading me through the living room and into the bedroom, he paused at the foot of the bed, smiling at me before taking a deep breath. He started to unbutton the top of his fatigues, the only thing I’d seen him dressed in since his return—except for a brief stint in his full dress uniform when he was presented his medal.
My nerves skyrocketed and I placed my hand over his, stilling him. “You don’t need to rush into anything on my behalf.”
“I’m not. I’m legitimately choosing to share this with you.” He continued to unbutton, shrugging out of them and then pulling off his t-shirt underneath.
I gasped, one hand covering my mouth, my other reaching behind me for the bed and I sat down, shocked. “What did they do to you?” I managed to choke out as I stared at his once beautiful body, now heavily scarred and puckered.
“They tortured me. A lot.”
He didn’t shrink away as my fingers reached out, tracing the horrific lines that been left on him.
“Does this hurt?” I asked, not wanting to cause him any pain.
“No. In fact, right now, I’d say I feel better than I have in a very long time.”
Fingering a rough looking hole in his upper abdomen, I glanced up at him and he nodded. “The gunshot wound.” Pointing to a few others, he continued. “These weren’t from torture, I got them in the helicopter crash.” Slowly he turned around and I wanted to faint at all the thick striped scars along his back.
“They whipped you,” I said aghast, afraid to even touch him.
“They did many things to me.”
“Tell me,” I said, wanting to know.
“No, because then you will be their victim, too.”
“I’m already their victim!” I shouted a little too loudly, and he flinched, turning to face me, again. “I became their victim the day they took you from me. I want to know what they did to you damn it! I want to make sure someone pays.”
Kory grabbed my hands. “They did pay. All of them.” That was obviously all he was going to offer.
“Well, good. They deserve it,” I said weakly, almost as an afterthought. “And you deserve the best of everything life can give you.”
Smiling, he pulled me to my feet. “I’m working on it.”
“Why did you show me all this, now?”
“I didn’t want to scare you away. Plus, I was worried you’d be repulsed and want nothing to do with me.”
“Kory, I’m so grateful you’re alive I don’t see scars, I just see miracles. I’m so happy you’re alive.”
His mouth quickly descended, his full lips pressing against mine. I could sense the need inside him, yet he still seemed to hold back.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling away.
“I’m pretty scarred up on my legs, too.”
“I thought we established I don’t care about your scars.” I tried to kiss him again, but he pulled away. “Would it help if we turned off all the lights? Would that ease some of your fears?” I asked.
“It would,” he replied with a wry laugh. “But I’ve waited so long to see your body beneath mine again, that I’d really like to leave the light on.”
“Then trust me, Kory. Trust me to love you as much as I always have.”
Pausing only a moment longer, he nodded and carefully began removing my clothes. His fingers were shaking so badly at times that I had to help him. But soon he had me gathered in his arms and carried me from the foot to the head of the bed.
I made a special point to not openly gawk at any of the trauma to his body, wanting him to know that it didn’t influence me in any manner. Instead, I succumbed to his heated kisses and touches, some familiar, others not so much, but all enjoyable as each of us reacquainted ourselves with the other.
Briefly I wondered if Russ and Misty would end up this way, in bed together. Russ had begged me not to sleep with Kory, but there was no way I could deny him. There was no way I’d ever be able to tell this man no after what he’d been through. And from the way Russ had looked with Misty today, I could tell he was trying to move on, and he looked to be doing a pretty good job of it.
I didn’t know why it bothered me so much. I’d made my choice. But for some reason, I hated knowing that Misty was probably going to find out just how good Russ was in bed. He was incredible, and I missed being with him like that.
Jerking my attention away from Russ, I forced myself back to the present, allowing my body to respond to Kory and his affections. Before long, we were both panting, reaching the crest of completion together, amid gasps and shouted names.
Kory fell against me, kissing my face and smiling. “Thank you. That was even better than I remember it.”
“It was really good,” I replied, running my fingers up and down his back like I used to and then pausing because the scar tissue was so unfamiliar.
I really sucked. My first time with my returned-from-the-dead fiancé and I’d practically spent the whole time wondering if Russ was doing Misty. There were no bigger assholes on the planet than me, right now. How could I be so cruel?
Kory obviously didn’t notice the self-hatred going on at the moment because he just kept smiling and kissing me in random places.
“If it’s okay with you, I’d like to go again. It’s been a while, you know?”
I laughed, both at his humor and my stupidity. “You may help yourself to me as often as you like Mr. Presley. I quite enjoy being with you.”
“That’s always good to know. This time I want to take my time.”
Keeping me occupied all night long, he reminded me of many of the reasons I’d initially fallen in love with him. Now, if I could just stop comparing all those reasons to Russ, I’d finally be able to move on and give Kory the life he deserved.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Russ
I hadn’t heard anything from Evie since the last time we talked together. On the other hand, Misty and I had been texting back and forth and calling each other every day. We’d developed quite the friendship between the t
wo of us, and I enjoyed how down to earth she was about everything.
She had also been my inside spy to all things Evie, whom I was pretty sure had resumed her physical relationship with her fiancé at this point. Misty said he was constantly showering her with gifts and that the two of them acted like kids who had just fallen in love.
Evie hadn’t said anything in particular about her relationship to Misty, but Misty was pretty sure there was some kinky stuff going on with Kory and Evie behind closed doors. Having been on that ride, and knowing how quiet Evie was not, I agreed with her assessment that the two of them were sleeping together again.
That decision pretty much put the final nail in my coffin. It was safe to say that I was completely out of the picture where Evie was concerned. While this didn’t do much for my own self-esteem, I was really enjoying getting to know Misty better and the two of us had a lot in common.
Misty had even stopped by my work, one night, and brought cookies, enough for the entire crew. That instantly won them over.
“What’s going on with you and these two girls?” Dylan asked me after she left.
“What do you mean?” Groaning over a chocolate chip cookie, I took another bite.
“I mean you’ve been practically pining over Evie, but now you’re seeing this other girl all the time.”
“I like Misty,” I said defensively. “Besides, she was there for me when no one else was.”
“Hey, I don’t care which one you’re banging. I just want you to be happy and not get caught up in some massive love triangle or something.”
I snorted. “Trust me there is no triangle going on. I’ve had zero contact from Evie and, according to the rumor mill, she and Kory are going at it like rabbits. I think it’s pretty safe to say she’s over me.”
“Are you over her, though? That’s the real question.”
I shrugged. “I’m working on it. So far, Misty’s been a good distraction for me, not to mention that she usually has insider information.”
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