by Scott, S. L.
But there’s no time to revel in her greatness because the damage he’s caused me and my family weighs heavy on my mind and my hands fist. I start running again, ready to settle all past pains and lies. And as much as I love that I didn’t have to point out what an ass he really is, it also doesn’t change my feelings of wanting to punch his face in for touching my girl.
When I reach her, I take her hurt hand in mine and kiss it gently. Looking at it, it’s red, but she’s gonna be fine. I place another kiss on her knuckles and whisper into her ear, “We’re gonna talk, but right now, I need you to back away, baby.”
“Why?” she asks, her gaze shifting to Noah then back to me.
Keeping my voice low, for her ears alone, I kindly ask, “Will you please back up for your own safety?” I turn ready to attack Noah, verbally first.
Mallory grabs my arm and moves closer. “No! Why? I don’t want you fighting.”
I turn back to her, hearing the plea beneath the demand. “Can you please listen to me and not be so stubborn this time. This isn’t about you…Well, it is about you, but it’s mainly about the lies these motherfuckers had me believe.”
Noah crosses his arms after taking a step forward. “Who you calling motherfucker, fucker?”
“You, because you are,” I spew back at him.
“Actually, speaking of motherfuckers,” he starts smugly, “your mother does have a fine as—”
My dad cuts in, his face as stern as his tone. “That’s my wife, Noah! Kindly refrain from talking about her.”
Kekoa Kalei, Noah’s father flanks his son’s side, as well as a few of his cousins that make up his gang of misfits. Kekoa tries to reason with Noah. “Son, he’s right. Don’t be disrespectful.”
“That’s a joke.” I step forward pointing my finger between Noah and Kekoa. “How could you do it? Lani loved me and you let me think I killed her, like it was my fault she died. I didn’t have a chance and you knew that all along. That’s disrespectful to her memory.”
“What are you rambling about, Ashford?” Noah asks, his feet anchoring into the sand with his body on the defense.
“I know about Lani’s heart. I know how she really died. The tear in her heart caused her death, not my inability to save her.” My hands fist at my sides. “You knew and you didn’t tell me. We used to be good friends, Noah, best friends. How can you be so fucking cruel?”
“Listen, Hugh, I don’t know where you and Evan got this information, but it’s not—” Kekoa starts.
“Don’t, Kekoa! We know the truth now. We settled with you out of court because I believed your pain, I saw the anguish in my son as you let him believe he caused your daughter’s death. I wanted to end his suffering in public. He was persecuted in the papers and you allowed that, you lied.” I watch my dad standing tall and powerful, sure of his every word.
I nod, agreeing with him when I’m struck by a surprise blow to my left cheek and fall to the ground, sand flying into my face.
“Evan!” Mallory screams.
When I look up, all hell breaks loose. The cousins attack Zach and Murphy, and I snap up, putting my hand on Mallory’s middle to push her behind me. “Move back, baby!”
I run forward, landing a right hook across Noah’s shocked face and follow through with a left punch to his stomach, which sends him stumbling backward. I see Murphy in my peripheral tossing one guy into the sand. I glance to my right and find Zach already rolling in the sand with another, appearing to have things under control. I look for Mallory, who’s standing there horrified with her hands over her mouth. When I turn back, Noah is in full swing motion. I’m too fast for him and I duck. He stumbles a bit, landing his fist straight on my dad’s jaw. My dad flinches, but quickly resumes his composure and swings, taking Noah down with one smooth direct punch.
Kekoa rushes to his son’s aid while yelling profanities. All the fighting ceases and the cousins, bloodied and breathing heavy, return to their side of the respective line drawn in the sand.
Kekoa helps Noah to his feet and gripes at my father. “You hurt him. You should be asha—”
“You’ve ruined my son’s life for the last four years. The truth is out and you no longer have him to carry your daughter’s death as his own burden anymore. Descended from royals my ass!” He looks at me and smirks then turns back once more to Kekoa. “I expect my money to be returned. If you need to make payments then contact my lawyer and he’ll set that up. It’s blood money now. Please do the right thing here and remove the guilt that weighs on my son’s heart by paying it back or we will sue you for everything you own and more.”
The murmur of his family and friends collectively gasping from this news is overshadowed by Mallory rushing to my side, whispering my name and words of concern. My father’s words of support mixed with hers make my heart and confidence soar. I feel more myself than I have in years, the weight of guilt finally lifted. I wrap my arm around Mallory’s trembling shoulders, and hold her to me. She’s crying and I love her so much that I hug her even tighter, lucky to have the opportunity again.
My dad looks at us, and a small smile plays out. “It’s time to go.”
We turn our backs on Noah’s family celebration without fear or worry of them striking because they know we now have the upper hand.
Noah gives it one last desperate attempt. “Mallory! C’mon. He’s only gonna use you and toss you aside. Come back.”
She flips him the bird over her shoulder, but never turns around to look at him. “What an asshole,” she replies without remorse.
“Guess your hand is okay,” I tease.
She wiggles it around. “I’m gonna live.”
I load her into my dad’s car then jog over to Zach’s. My father is about to sit down when I call, “Hey, Dad?”
He stops before getting in. “Yes?”
“Uh, I wanted to…” I stumble through my appreciation with my hands tucked safely into my front pockets. “…I wanted to say thank you for… what you did back there, all that you said.”
“You’re welcome, Evan. You okay?”
“I should be asking you that?” I say, looking at his jaw. My mother is gonna be pissed when she sees that.
“Eh, I’ve been in worse—”
“You’ve been in worse? You’re not really the fighting kind, Dad,” I say incredulously.
“I could hold my own back in ancient times,” he says, and chuckles.
“You still can from what I just saw.” I glance back at his car and see Mallory sitting inside, waiting for me. “Maybe we can grab a beer together sometime and you can share some of those stories.”
“I’d like that. Let’s do that when you’re in New York next month.”
I nod and we shake hands, but I pull him into a hug. We part with deep sighs, a little bit awkward from this big show of affection.
“Drive your girl home,” he says, handing me the keys.
“Okay, thanks.”
“Don’t put a scratch on that car or I get yours.” He smirks and I can see a bit of myself in him for the first time.
After I get in the car, I look over at Mallory briefly before driving away. Out of the corner of my eye I see her spreading her fingers then squeezing her hand closed, so I ask, “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. It just stings.”
Reaching over, I’m about to touch her hand, but pause, not sure if I should go there. I sigh, tired from the day, mentally exhausted from dealing with the truth about Lani, and physically beat from the fight. But somehow I find the will to smile. The girl next to me means more than I ever thought possible and she’s here with me now.
I pull out onto the road and continue driving. It’s only a few minutes and both us seem okay with waiting to have a conversation that may define us forever. Upon arrival, I park at the beach and we both get out at the same time. I hang back, suddenly feeling awkward about where we stand, letting her take the lead. I don’t know how I’ll deal if she walks away forever. So I want her to be
comfortable in her surroundings because I want this conversation to bring us back together.
With my heart in her hands, I take a blanket from the trunk as she pulls a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Flicking one up, she pulls it from the paper container with her lips and I immediately pull a lighter from my pocket and stride over to her offering her the fire. She leans in like she did the first day, all attitude and beauty, until the stick is glowing and then she walks down to the water’s edge. I silently follow.
“I haven’t been back here since I drown…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but exhales a deep breath. She doesn’t have to say more. I know what she’s thinking. I watch her with bated anticipation as she bends down to put out the cigarette in the wet sand at her feet.
After spreading the blanket out, we both sit, but the distance is felt between us. Apparently, she needs the space.
“It seemed fitting to come back here,” I say, keeping my voice from wavering. It’s tough because I want her back, but it’s up to her if she’s going to trust me or not. “The right place to deal with some of our… fears and issues.”
Seeing her again, it’s easy to admire her beauty, but tonight I need her forgiveness. I just pray to God she’ll hear me out. “I’m sorry, Mallory,” I whisper, trying to find my voice. “I’m sorry that you have to deal with my past and for the way you were treated at the party.”
She doesn’t look at me, but her movements and tiny fidgets finally still. After another long moment of silence in the space that divides us, she says, “I’m sorry for how I acted. I’m embarrassed. I overreacted and shouldn’t have put you in a situation of having to ‘end’ us… I was trying to make you out to be the bad guy because I’m not strong enough to leave you. Forcing you to be the bad guy was easier than having to deal with the bullshit your mother and ex were throwing my way.”
I look at the water, hoping the right words come, but I don’t have the time to wait. “Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about, but I do. I want you to know I sent the text in May. I’m sorry I sent it and I regret how this has affected you. You never deserved to have to deal with my mistakes.”
She remains staring at the water in the distance. “Evan, you don’t have to explain.”
“I want you to know the truth. I don’t want you to ever doubt my intentions.”
She sounds as if she’s amused, but she’s not smiling when she says, “I wish I could have held my emotional breakdown for another time, but well, cheating is a sore subject with me.”
Averting my eyes back to the moon’s reflection on the water, I explain to ease the pain she’s feeling. “The text was sent after we’d met, but days after when we weren’t speaking. You stormed out of my life full of anger. I thought you hated me. I returned a text from her and only wrote what I did to appease her, not meaning any of it. I shouldn’t have sent it, but I did.”
“You continued the lie you like to tell the girls? The love’em and leave’em game-plan that was working so well for you?”
“Working well until I met you, yes.” I smile. I don’t think she’s mad and I realize even that short time apart has made a difference.
“I have proof of when I originally texted it, if you need to—”
“I don’t need to see it,” she says.
Looking at her, I see for the first time how fragile she really is as her eyes well with tears. Her tough exterior has broken down and her cool kid vibe has vanished. She wraps her arms around her knees and rests her chin on top. “Listen, Mallory, I’m not going to lie here. I’m not any good at this. I’m not good at relationships or fighting with girls, I’m not good at saying I’m sorry or for being what someone else needs. I’ve been selfish for a long time now, so know that I’m trying. I’m trying to be who you want me to be and who you deserve.”
“I don’t want you to be anything you’re not. That’s part of the problem here. I’m not your parents or your professors. I’m not the outside world with expectations of you, except for one. I expect you to be true to me and being true to me means not cheating or lying to me.” Her hand touches my arm, bridging the gap. My heart races at her touch as she finally looks into my eyes. “But our friends made me realize I wasn’t being true to you. I believed Kelly’s word over yours and that’s not the person I want to be, not with you. Yet today when I woke up, I didn’t need explanations. I didn’t need you to clarify the situation. I don’t believe her. There were holes I couldn’t see yesterday in the heat of the moment. I’m sorry I questioned us when you held strong.”
She moves a few inches closer, leaning her head on my shoulder. She doesn’t make a production of it and this feels natural, like nothing bad has ever entered our world. “I’m sorry and I’m hoping you’ll forgive me,” she says.
“You have nothing to be forgiven for because you did nothing wrong. I’ve done what you did at that party. It was like if I did something extreme it would make the bad go away, cover it up, but doing that doesn’t work and I learned that lesson the hard way.” I take her hand in mine and whisper, “I don’t want anything like that to come between us again. I love you, Mallory. I’m in love with you.”
When she looks up, her lips part as her eyes glass over with tears and her words fall quiet taking in the joy of hearing mine. “Please,” she says, her request barely heard, “say it again.”
“I love you,” I say, freely without hesitation.
Weaving our fingers together, I look only at her, the sight of her the only thing that matters and makes sense in this chaotic life. “I should’ve told you before now, before the party. I felt it. I always felt it. When I made you those promises that we’d be together, that was my heart speaking to yours, not just words. I’m in love with you, Mallory, and I should’ve exposed my true feelings a long time ago instead of internalizing them.”
Her tears fall over the barrier of her bottom lids and drop onto her lap as she tucks her head downward. I wrap my arm around her, holding her tightly to my side. Her body trembles against mine as she cries, releasing all the pent-up emotions of the last couple of days. Leaning forward, I kiss the top of her head several times.
When her body relaxes—the anxiety, fears, and tears subsiding—she looks up at me, her smile struggling between pain and happiness. “I love you so much my heart hurts.”
“Mine too, baby.” It’s the truth.
We lay down, my arm acting as her pillow as she snuggles into my side. The beauty that surrounds not lost in the emotions of the moment. The soft wind blows and the nearby trees rustle in the breeze. The gentle sounds of the water caress the sand, and distant seagulls call to each other. After a while our breathing levels, and I whisper, “I can never leave you either. I love you too much for that.”
I feel her cheeks move up in a smile on my arm then her breathing deepens. Her body relaxes with mine and we fall asleep under a full moon in paradise.
9
Evan
I wake with a start, unaware of where I am. But a deep breath of relief escapes me when I realize I’m holding Mallory. All those same sounds that lulled us to sleep last night signal our whereabouts now. I turn and look at Mallory’s contented face as she rests with ease next to me. Looking into the distant water, I see the start of an amazing sunrise.
“Mallory.” I gently nudge. “Mallory, wake up.”
“Mmmm,” she hums, slowly squirming to life. Her eyes flicker open as reality sets in. “We slept out here.” It’s more a statement of amazement than a question.
I sit up, helping her up next to me. My voice is still groggy with sleep, but I say, “Yes, we did. I guess we were both more tired than we thought.”
She rubs her eyes and in this most innocent of movements, my heart lurches when I remember that in one month I won’t get to appreciate such a simple act.
She looks up at me, her lids still heavy. “I didn’t sleep much the night before, you know, after the party.”
“Neither did I. At least we got a few hours last n
ight. I want to watch this sunrise together and then I’ll take you home.”
She nods, leaning back against me for support.
“Can I ask you something?” I’m kind of worried about her answer.
“Yes.”
Staring ahead, I ask, “Why didn’t you call me back yesterday?”
“Oh, um, my phone is dead since I haven’t been home, so I couldn’t charge it. I tried to call you, but… well, I don’t have your number memorized since I have it programmed into my phone. Then I used Sunny’s phone to call Zach, but he didn’t answer. I left a message for you to call me back.”
“I didn’t get it. I would’ve called you if I had. I’m sorr—”
“No.” She scrunches her nose and looks embarrassed. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry about the party and I’m totally humiliated by how I acted. I drank to help me calm down from how Kelly made me feel and ended up being buzzed and not thinking logically. The time apart may have been painful, but it served a good purpose. It gave me time to sort through the events on my own and realize how much I screwed up for believing her over you.” She looks into my eyes, and says, “I regret so much, starting with going to the surf contest. I need you to know that I only went to help Johnny and Sunny out. When I was there, my thoughts cleared and it was so obvious. Noah wasn’t a friend to me if he could say all the things he did. I was so stupid.”
“No, you weren’t. He’s just an asshole.”
She smiles then continues, “I think he was genuine at first, but I became something else to him, something he wanted to win away from you. He even told me that yesterday before you showed up.” Her face is anguished. “I only went to the luau to tell him I had him figured out and that’s when things got out of control. I guess you saw how it went down from there.”
“We don’t need to rehash what we did wrong, but when Zach told me you went to the luau… I can’t lie. It hurt that you were celebrating with him.”