by Cathy Sharp
‘Oh yes,’ Ruby said, suddenly free of her inhibitions, because she knew she didn’t have to hide with this girl. ‘You were just what I needed, Carla: a ray of sunshine on a grey day. What do you do for work?’
‘I’m a secretary in a boring office filled with men,’ Carla said and grimaced. ‘They chat me up all the time and pat me on the bottom; I just smile and pretend – but I hate it. Still, I couldn’t go on living in the country; it was stifling me. I’ve got a few women friends here, but they aren’t like us. All they talk about is men. You know what I need … don’t you?’ Their eyes met in shared understanding.
‘Oh yes, I do,’ Ruby smiled and sipped her wine. ‘Because I want it too … almost since the first time I saw you …’
She felt so much better all of a sudden. She had a new friend, someone to have fun with – and perhaps even a lover. This wouldn’t be her first affair with another woman; that had happened in college with a tutor, who had initiated her into the pleasures of same-sex love, but since then she hadn’t dared to approach anyone. And she’d spent some months imagining herself in love with a woman she no longer liked. Carla was like a breath of fresh air blowing the staleness from her life. It was odd how clear everything had just become. She’d been brooding over what she ought to do – but tomorrow she would go and talk to Sister Beatrice …
‘I hope I’m not intruding?’ Ruby asked as she knocked and entered at the command to do so.
Sister Beatrice looked at her over the top of her reading glasses and then took them off. ‘Why don’t you sit down, Ruby?’ she invited.
Ruby sat; she swallowed nervously, because when she’d been sitting by the fire with Carla it had been simple to think she could just breeze in and tell Sister Beatrice what had been told to her in confidence, but it wasn’t easy. If all hell broke loose over this, Ruby could lose her job, and yet she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t – and somehow her job was no longer all important. Ruby couldn’t have said honestly that she was in love yet but she was certainly enchanted with her new lover, because a few drinks later that was what Carla had become.
‘This is difficult …’ she began as Sister Beatrice removed her glasses and looked at her expectantly. ‘If you’d been told something was going on that you didn’t agree with … something that would hurt others … would you tell even if it was breaking a confidence?’
‘Ah …’ Sister Beatrice nodded and then smiled. ‘I believe you are about to tell me something that I’ve just this minute been told by someone else … a good friend. It seems that the Board of St Saviour’s has finally agreed to the council’s Children’s Department taking over the orphanage for its own purposes … and the handover will go ahead on the thirty-first of December …’
Ruby expelled a long breath, feeling as if her balloon had been pricked. ‘I should’ve told you before, but I was torn two ways.’
‘I’m pleased you decided to do the right thing,’ Sister Beatrice said and nodded. ‘My friend told me as soon as she heard from her husband, who is on the Board of the charity, and naturally she rang me to let me know. I have been offered the position of Superintendent there …’
‘So will you be moving there?’ Ruby asked, surprised, as Sister Beatrice got up and went over to her file, unlocking it with keys she kept on a chain and attached to a hidden pocket in her habit. She took out a bottle of sherry and two small glasses, brought them back to the desk and poured a little of the rich wine into each. Ruby thanked her, sipped hers and discovered it was good, not sickly sweet like some brands but a nice flavour.
‘Yes, I believe so,’ Sister Beatrice said and lifted her glass in salute. ‘Good health to you, Ruby, and thank you for coming to warn me. I appreciate the gesture.’
‘It gave the person who told me far too much pleasure …’ Ruby confessed and to her dismay she found herself blushing under the nun’s penetrating gaze. She felt as if she could see right into her heart and see the tiny seed of new life growing there. ‘I’m so glad you won’t be out of a job or … whatever nuns do …’ Ruby wasn’t into religion and the thought of living in a convent gave her the horrors, but she’d overcome her dislike of nuns in their dull habits, because of her admiration for Sister Beatrice.
‘I could always return to the convent, but I want to continue my work for as long as God grants me the strength,’ Sister Beatrice replied. ‘We were given to understand that a part of the building would be kept for receiving children in need, but they would of necessity be passed on within hours if not days – and that is the main difference …’
‘No, that is not their intention,’ Ruby said, shocked that the St Saviour’s Board had been lied to. ‘I’ve recently been told that we would be taking young male offenders as well as the girls in future but the street children would go to another centre that will open by the end of the year.’
‘Are you certain of this?’ Sister Beatrice frowned as Ruby nodded. ‘In that case I shall have to let my friends know. I imagine it is too late to change anything now, but I know that some of the Board at least will be extremely angry that they were not given the whole truth.’
‘I wish I’d told you sooner but …’
‘You had been told in confidence and you have your own future to consider.’
‘I am to be in charge of the home, but, as you know, I’ve tried to make things easier for my girls – and that is how I’d hoped to continue, but if a stricter regime were imposed I might have to consider leaving. I think I might be happier working with the kind of children you have cared for all these years, Sister. And I should like your advice on the matter …’
‘I am a little surprised, Ruby …’
Ruby could have laughed out loud at the look of sheer amazement on Sister Beatrice’s face, but she kept her expression serious, though inside the joy of life would not be suppressed. Ruby had never felt so alive, never felt as happy as she did now, and it was because at last she’d found a way to live as she’d always longed to, even if it had to be kept private. One day perhaps women like her would be able to shout their happiness to the world, but for the moment it must be kept hidden … except that today it would not stay inside.
‘I believe your methods of teaching youngsters to behave are better than mine were at the start, and I would be grateful for any advice you thought you could pass on. I wish you were not going so far away.’
‘There is always the telephone, Ruby.’ Sister Beatrice’s eyes sparkled with some secret amusement. ‘I am not sure that my giving you advice would please Miss Sampson … but I am always available to you and I shall make certain you have both my address and my phone number … And now I’m sure we both have work to do.’
Ruby felt herself dismissed, but for some reason she didn’t mind. The resentment she’d felt for Sister Beatrice had gone, together with the doubts and shadows that had haunted her for such a long time. Of course she would never forget the mental or physical abuse that had destroyed her childhood, but she could move on from it at last.
‘Please keep me informed of any news you may have.’ She resumed her normal efficiency. ‘I must not keep you from your work any longer …’
‘One thing … shall you keep my staff on here when you take over?’ Sister Beatrice asked.
‘Much will depend on my remit, but I have often wished we had the kitchen facilities you have – ours is much smaller, the food we give our girls very basic, because they have school lunch – and also the nurses. I feel we would need them, so my answer is yes, if they wished to stay.’
Ruby returned to her side of the building. Her confidence was high and she felt able to cope whatever happened. She would make a start by inviting Belinda to her office and asking her whether she wished to continue to work for her. She would make it quite clear that any punishments in future would be given out by Ruby and no one else … there was still a case for punishment, but only when it was right and fair.
Wonders would never cease! Beatrice marvelled at the change she’d wi
tnessed in Ruby Saunders. It was as if the raw, inexperienced girl who had been so sure of herself when she first came here had matured into someone much deeper and infinitely more caring. Some of the bitterness and deep sadness had lifted from her eyes, and she actually looked younger, more attractive.
Beatrice could not help wondering what had happened in the young woman’s life to bring about such a change, but never considered for one moment that she had in any way contributed to the catharsis. For herself, she felt invigorated, ready for the changes to her life.
She rang Angela and told her what she’d been given to understand about the closure of the reception centre.
‘So they lied to us and they have no intention of continuing our work.’
‘I dare say they decided it wouldn’t work to combine the two, and perhaps it makes sense. It will be the end of St Saviour’s as we know it, Angela – but it does mean that we must bring all our children with us.’
‘I think you should start sending us a few each week,’ Angela said. ‘Mark will be furious about this. We thought we had time but now we must work faster. I am determined that our orphans will be kept together.’
‘Perhaps we can find a temporary building nearby?’
‘Mark spoke of putting up a prefab in the grounds until we can get the new wing built – and I think he’s already made inquiries. Once I tell him what you’ve told me, he’ll move on it immediately.’
‘Good. I can see that you have everything in hand your end, Angela. I shall begin by gathering the staff together and informing them of the move. Any member of my staff that wishes to move can speak to you about an interview with the Board, if that’s necessary. Ruby told me that she would like to keep the kitchen open and would keep our present staff if they wished to continue here …’
‘Is it true that Ruby Saunders has been offered the job running the whole place? After what happened with those foster parents …’
‘I think that Ruby has learned her lesson,’ Beatrice said. ‘I didn’t believe I’d ever see the day but she does have compassion. She might do better than you imagine … better than Miss Sampson herself, I’m certain.’
‘It will need someone who can stand up to Miss Sampson, otherwise she will interfere every step of the way …’
‘Well, perhaps Ruby Saunders will surprise us …’
‘Yes, well, I’m relieved it is settled. Now we can all concentrate on the future – and I do look forward to working with you again immensely.’
‘I shall consider it a pleasure …’
Beatrice mused over that telephone call. Ruby had surprised her a great deal this morning. She didn’t know what had happened, but something had definitely changed her for the better. She rather thought it had started happening some months back – perhaps when she discovered what a huge mistake she’d made over June Miller’s foster parents – but it was far more noticeable now. Ruby had risked her job to inform her of what was planned for the future and it must have taken courage to do what she’d done – and perhaps that was what was needed to take on the kind of job that was being offered her. Beatrice wasn’t sure she would feel up to it herself …
CHAPTER 31
‘Well, that was a surprise,’ Nellie said after Sister Beatrice had announced that St Saviour’s was closing at the end of December, and that all the children would be transferred during the next few weeks. ‘You could’ve knocked me down wiv a feather when she said all them kids was off to Essex …’
‘I will speak to my staff individually about the future, because you all have a choice to make about where you wish to work and live when St Saviour’s closes,’ Sister Beatrice had announced. ‘The children are all being taken to Halfpenny House, where I shall continue to care for their welfare. Since there is a great deal to be done we shall have a quieter but happy Christmas here, with one party that those of us that remain can enjoy together … But in the meantime everything will continue as usual, and anyone with any doubts or concerns is free to come and talk to me about the move or anything else that worries them …’
‘I wonder what will happen to the staff,’ Jinny said. ‘Kelly and Wendy and Sister Rose … and us …’
‘You could get a job as a trainee cook anywhere,’ Nellie said. ‘Sister will give you a reference and I’ll help you all I can …’
‘What about you? You enjoy working here, don’t you?’
‘I’ll see what’s on offer,’ Nellie said. ‘I did see an advertisement fer a cook’s job at a primary school. It was in the paper they wrapped me spuds in down the market. It’s fer the new term next year – so I might apply for it …’
‘I’d like to cook, but I couldn’t take a cook’s job alone yet. I’m not qualified.’
‘Why don’t you talk to Sister about it?’ Nellie suggested. ‘She might ’ave some ideas. She ’elps her kids find work and I’m sure she’ll do the same fer you if you ask her.’
‘Yes, I think I shall. I’ll go up when we’ve finished lunch and ask if I can talk to her.’
‘You do that,’ Nellie smiled. ‘If I was offered the job at the school I’d take you on as my assistant – if they’d let me …’
‘I know …’ Jinny sighed. ‘I’ve loved working here with you, Nellie.’
‘Well, it ain’t over yet, love – we’ve still got Christmas to come. You heard what Sister said, it’s going to be a quieter one this year but we shall still have a party …’
‘I spoke to Ruby Saunders,’ Beatrice said when Rose came to talk to her in her office. ‘She says she’s hoping to employ a couple of nurses when she takes over – but she may not have a free hand in choosing her staff. Besides, you might not wish to continue working here …’
‘I think I shall look for a part-time job, perhaps just a few hours in the mornings at a doctor’s surgery,’ Rose said and smiled. ‘Nick and I are planning to marry soon. We’re going down to see his boys at boarding school this weekend, and if they’re all right with the idea, they’ll be coming home to live. That means I shan’t be able to do much more than a few hours a week …’
‘I needn’t worry about you then,’ Beatrice nodded. ‘Wendy has told me she’s going back to hospital nursing and she intends to specialise in paediatrics; she was going to give me a month’s notice at Christmas, so she’ll stay on until then and go straight to her refresher course afterwards …’
‘What about Kelly and the other carers?’
‘Some of them will wait and see if they get offered work with the Children’s Department, but Mavis told me she has been offered a job in Peacocks and was going to leave next month anyway …’
‘You’ll be short-handed if the others follow suit …’
‘No, because we’re taking as many children down as Angela can cope with each week from now on. Nancy and Kelly are taking a party of ten this weekend. I thought the younger ones should go first, as they are more nervous and I want them settled before Christmas. At least six of the older boys are due to leave school soon and they won’t want to move to the country. I am going to see if I can find them accommodation in a youth hostel when we close. Normally, I’d give them longer to make the transition, but this time I have no choice …’
‘This will make such a lot of work for you,’ Rose said. ‘If there is anything I can do, you must tell me.’
‘Sandra is taking as much of the load as she can, dealing with all the paperwork. We have to release the children to Halfpenny House and a full report must accompany each child that we send down – but much of that is straightforward.’
‘What about you?’ Rose asked and frowned. ‘Where will you live – have you had time to discuss that yet?’
‘Angela says there is a small cottage that was used by Mrs Mellors. It’s furnished so I shall merely have my own few bits and pieces to take down …’
‘Well, if you need a hand with the packing, I’m sure Billy and Mary Ellen will be delighted to help. I know she is coming to see you at the weekend, because she was upset when she
heard the home was closing.’
‘I dare say it was a shock … as it has been for all of us. I think many local people will be upset by the closure, but there really is nothing to be done this time.’
‘Yes …’ Rose sighed. ‘The time has flown since I first brought my young sister here. She hated me for making her come, but once she settled down she was happy … the kids are going to miss you, Sister.’
‘I shall be at Halfpenny House for some years I hope.’
‘I meant the kids of London … the hungry, desperate kids that come here from the streets. Oh, I know the Children’s Department will deal with them. They will be fed and cared for after a fashion – but it won’t be the same.’
‘St Saviour’s was unique,’ Beatrice said, a wistful smile playing about her mouth. ‘It was the sum of the people that worked here and the people who made a home for those in need in the first place … Everything is different in this bold new world, Rose, and perhaps it is best that we move on – but I think we shall be missed …’
‘You certainly will,’ Rose said. ‘Everyone I meet is in shock. Some of the local women wanted to protest and force the authorities to think again, but I told them it was too late.’
‘Much too late.’ Beatrice smiled. ‘Progress marches on, Rose, and we must all march with it or be swept aside by the tide.’
‘I want it to be a good Christmas for all of us, though most of the children will be in Essex by then,’ Sister had told Nellie and Jinny in the kitchen some days later. ‘I’ve spoken to some people I know, Jinny, but as yet the only hope I have for you is to take a professional culinary course. You would live in at Mrs Jenkins’ cookery school and attend her classes, as well as helping her run her catering business in the evenings and at weekends, and when you leave at the end of a year you will have certificates that prove you are a qualified cook with practical experience. After that I think it will be much easier for you to find work than if you continued at evening class, which would take much longer to complete.’