by Elena Monroe
He was right, I needed to know who was dealing and why. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t a Dove problem. Twisting to face Khaos he pulled his girlfriend into him, arm around her neck, kissing her temple like she actually got hurt. “What happened here?”
He was staring at me trying to analyze me when he spoke, only asking me.
“Your bitch girlfriend can’t handle herself in a fight without being saved. Not really a me problem. Sounds like a you problem.”
I was prepared to fight him too. My day was already looking up on the other end of this anger brewing up to the surface.
“Who the fuck are you?” He bit off the words surely wanting to say more but holding back as the party goers began crowding us.
“Fuck this. Not worth it.”
Already walking away, he stepped forward in front of me, not letting me escape. Leaning into my space he muttered, “You’re going to apologize.”
Who is this guy? Why does he care?
“I’m sorry, is no one allowed to dislike your girlfriend?” Folding my arms, I stood my ground, these prissy rich assholes were going to meet the street side of me real quick by telling me what to do.
He squinted at me like he recognized me when I decided I knew exactly how to get past the gatekeepers and put them in their place at the same time. Pushing by Khaos, I cupped her face and pulled her in for what was supposed to be a peck but when I tasted the mint tingle on my lips it made me sink into her more. I didn’t expect her arms to enclose me and pull me in when her tongue got tangled with mine.
Pulling away, I felt her lips pucker trying to find mine when I didn’t skip a beat, grabbing Ear’s shirt I dragged him behind me into the party when I heard her say: “Well, she’s forgiven…”
Girls, guys, it didn’t matter - sex was a defense and mine was always on just hiding under baggy clothes half the time. Skating in cut off shorts wasn’t always the vibe when you're surrounded by guys who want nothing more than to buy you a 40 and whisper sweet lies like you’re the one.
The party was already in full swing with a DJ and food laid out on a table in a way that definitely seemed preplanned.
Who throws a party like this?
Khaos jogged up to my side and I purposely avoided eye contact. I was here to get information not to be noticed for kissing his girlfriend.
“Are you working your way through my roster or something? Don’t get any ideas. Sharing is caring until I find out you kiss better than I do.” His voice was equally as distracting as his body displayed next to me.
Fuck me. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
“Ever think you should just work on your kissing game?” He stared back at me like I just told him the sky wasn’t blue anymore which resulted in me raising my eyebrows as I took a solo cup off the table.
There was a pool, a small ramp, pool house, and more that I was unwilling to explore past the party boundaries. I didn’t need to see more; I got the picture without any more visuals- he’s rich.
Handing me a small baggie with a K on it I examined it, “Everyone gets a goody bag. That drink is gonna need a chaser, the one with the snake is new.”
Normally people don’t chase water with drugs.
Smoothing the bag out between my fingers I looked at the ‘goodies’ that Dove was pissed off about. I had never seen the one with the snake though, not since Dove made the executive decision to start selling more than stealing.
I just sleep in the same bed and I’m there when he needs sex that doesn’t take any effort - I don’t make decisions.
Some guy yanked Khaos away, thankfully, I was only here to observe but now that I got evidence, I was planning on leaving. I was hanging onto his smile like a ledge leading to my death. The minute I looked away was a lot like letting go.
That’s when I noticed him looking away, down for a split second, and his smile faded way too quickly.
I was waiting for some kind of answer to what happened or why his smile was stolen. That’s when I realized he was playing a role - one that looked like he was over playing. A second later he went back to smiling and laughing all while I felt fooled by his performance.
I bought it.
Now I wanted the real version of him more than I was willing to let myself fantasize about.
Hours went by at the party and I stalked him with my eyes waiting for the moment he broke character again.
Crawling out of the pool he stood up in front of me, hands on his knees, “What’s your name?”
I drank more of my water just to force myself to look away for a second before I gave him exactly what he gave me: the fake parts.
“Birdy,” I watched his smile get bigger when he held up two fists.
“Pick a hand,” this time it looked genuine.
Tapping his right hand, his hand closed around my wrist and pushed me into the pool. He waited for me to surface before he stepped in splashing around me.
Gasping for air I yelled, “What was in the other hand asshole?!”
“Acid. Acid or get wet. I couldn’t decide.” He was fighting a laugh rumbling in his chest hanging off his lips.
“Is that how you make all your decisions?”
“Pretty much. If it’s a bad decision, then it’s not my fault anymore.”
Doggy paddling, I stayed in place while Khaos ran his hands through his messy hair pushing it all back. Every muscle was tensed, and his stupid grin was simulating the sun against his green eyes. All the sunspots came into my vision but didn’t distort his beauty at all.
If I was on a ledge with his smile, then right now I was already falling and contemplating the afterlife
GRACE
Khaos helped me out of the pool by throwing me his hand, basically strong-arming my soaking wet clothes clinging to my body.
So much for bidding my curves.
Now they were on display wildly loud and I could feel eyes taking in my shirt molded to my breasts.
“Should have worn the bikini. Let’s get you some dry clothes, come on.” Khaos walked ahead of me and everyone knew I was following his lead. It even earned him some questionable stares from the girls at the party.
He had a girlfriend, the one I kissed, yet girls were calling open season on this guy.
He twisted his head back, “Normally the inside is off limits, but I’ll make an exception. Eskimo bros and all…”
There was a wall with rules that stuck out like a sore thumb even though everything was just as colorful and graffitied up throughout the house, wild sculptures and paintings filling the space that had my eyes bouncing around.
Walking up two flights of stairs, I was still following him. Nothing scared me, if he wanted to throw hands then I was happy to oblige.
Pushing open some French doors I watched him buzz around a room with a heart shaped oversized bed with clothes strewn everywhere and more boards lying around than he needed- frankly working his name to a T. “Your room?”
“How could you tell?” Shuffling through drawers he finally found a Thrasher t-shirt and some cloth shorts that would qualify covering my curves again. A heavy sigh of relief wrapped me up and I started to peel off my wet shirt.
Standing inches away from me I could feel the heat brushing off of him. Whispering, his eyes scanned what he could, “If I didn’t already have a B in my alphabet…”
I didn’t bother to ask what he meant when I twisted around changing without any real worry. He had a girlfriend, I was throwing vibes that I wasn’t into his equipment, and he just called me a bro - there wasn’t the slightest chance in my mind he could be interested until he just said that.
I had to remind myself I was already taken and not by Dove but by a gang that kills you on the way out. That’s why Clipped Wings only ever gives you one wing when initiated: so you can’t fly away.
“Alphabet?” I questioned, letting my jeans drop and my wet socks squish my feet inside my shoes.
Giving me space, he went to fish out boxers for himself while still stealing gla
nces my way that I was noticing only because I was staring too.
“Yeah, that wasn’t my only girlfriend you kissed down there. I have twenty-four.”
He said it so seriously it almost made it sound even more like a joke. I wanted to laugh but how could I? All I heard was dissatisfied and needy, probably juggling one girl for each role he played.
“A real modern-day Hough Hefner, huh?” Pulling up the shorts I slapped my palms to my thighs signaling I was all set as I looked down at my comfort level rising.
I never fit in with girls. Most of them feared me after being in and out of juvie so many times that half my teachers didn’t know who I was.
I was a girl in a dominantly boy’s world professionally and personally. Dressing like a girl and showing off your body in any way earned you high fives for a nice ass instead of for landing your tricks or doing Dove justice.
Now I wore baggy clothes and kept my shoulder length beach waves inside a beanie. I wanted to be just like my sexual identity, somewhere buried in between.
“Well, it was his house. Hopefully, he’s still hanging out and slapping some ass.”
Who the fuck let this guy have drugs?
He pulled down his pants and boxers in one tug making my face flare up in a red heat that felt like embarrassment even though I wasn’t the one naked. Instantly pushing my eyes down, I tried to look away but the wings on his back grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let go.
One demon wing.
One angel wing.
The wings started at his shoulder blades and the tips ended right above the underwear he was pulling up his hips.
I wondered if he could fly with those.
He must have felt my eyes staring because the smile he had in place was filled with confidence like he was used to being looked at… and loved it. Sauntering by me in his dry underwear he dipped his head, “If it wasn’t obvious, I like the attention. Stare away.”
Following him back down to the party I got a better look at his place filled with valuables I could snatch. No one would even know, hell, they probably wouldn’t even miss whatever it was.
Ears found me almost immediately giving me this look to remind me this was business, not pleasure. He knew Dove just as much as I did, only as an independent contractor instead of captive. Ears was my contact, one of my sellers, and my responsibility if he fucked up.
I was no one's responsibility and I fucked up a lot.
Not in those obvious ways but in the small ways that are easy to cover up. In ways that didn’t get linked to Dove himself.
Khaos handed me a solo cup but it wasn’t the typical red, it was purple. “To partying with new people and not being bitter at all that my girl is still swooning.”
Pulling me into his side with his arm around my neck I held the cup steady when Ears fingered it out of my hand. He knew I didn’t drink. The last time I did I embarrassed Dove by acting my age and got the shit kicked out of me. I couldn’t surf or skate for weeks with the cracked ribs he gave me.
Waiting for the crowd and Khaos to shoot the liquid back, “I should go. Thanks for the change of clothes.”
“What, you have curfew or something?” He asked, looking disappointed like I directly offended him. It almost made me feel bad.
“Or something…”
“Now you have to come back,” he tugged the shirt gently between us with our faces close. “I’m gonna want these back.”
My mouth was gaping open, but no words made it out. I wanted him to kiss me, but I knew wanting that would just live inside my head with my other daydreams and fantasies. Letting my lashes flutter nearly closed, I soaked myself in his scent: mischief and a bleeding heart covered up at first glance by his square jaw and green eyes.
The tiniest gasp escaped my mouth realizing this, whatever this was that I was doing while gathering intel, was a one night only special.
I had never experienced someone being interested in me or even invested enough to already plan to see me again. Orphan children who have lived in the system as wards of the state know better than to count on anything except a bed and a meal.
I had to force myself to walk away, Khaos was infectious and I already felt doomed. Climbing into the car along with the guys, Ears twisted around looking behind his seat at me with a heavy sigh. “We’re fucked, aren’t we?”
“What? No. What are you talking about? I’ll handle Dove.” I knew what he meant but I couldn’t possibly give it any attention without confirming some truth to it.
We were fucked.
After being dropped off a few houses down from Dove’s, I grabbed my board and pushed off gliding. The gate was too narrow since my hips filled out and I grew some boobs, so I was forced to find new ways in and out.
Throwing my board and bag over the fence I had learned to climb if I wanted in and out without permission, I hiked myself up and landed on the other side scanning for Hamilton when I came up empty.
Hamilton was inside on the couch when I punched in the code as soon as I was through the door. The alarm system was just a reminder I wasn’t home, this was just a time clock and the cage I was sent to at the end of each night.
With a bowl of popcorn on his lap he gave me a look over his shoulder like he knew I was pushing the boundaries. Dove may have kept me close but his tolerance for those who fall out of line ran on a short fuse and that look was a warning.
Dropping my bag and board I kicked off my shoes before I jogged upstairs trying to be quiet in a silent house with only dim lights illuminating the stairs.
Standing outside his bedroom door I paused trying to cleanse myself of any physical fallout like the smile that was hard to get rid of after being around someone like Khaos.
He might be named Khaos but he certainly felt like comfort I’d never experienced.
Cracking the door open, I slipped inside and closed it quietly behind me watching Dove sleep peacefully. I was unnecessary in his life; I could have been a lamp and had the same value to him. Granted, those lamps are from Williams Sonoma and cost $1,495 dollars.
Least I was expensive, right?
I realized I was still standing there in Khaos’s clothes, testing my boundaries even more and almost hoping he woke up to see me being insubordinate. I wanted to see his face drop because he wasn’t paying enough attention to see I was unhappy and unsatisfied. I just didn’t have the balls to stand up to him.
Clipped Wings was one story, but betraying Dove was another completely. We weren’t just blood in, it was so much worse, our whole lives were intertwined so that I wouldn’t be able to survive outside the embrace of this gang.
One wing.
Tiptoeing into the bathroom, I removed everything left over from Khaos, even the smile still under the surface. Balling up his clothes, I pushed the soft worn fabric to my nose wondering if I could still smell him.
I could. Loud and clear- just like him.
Shoving them under the sink, I pushed them all the way to the back. I couldn’t just throw them away; the maids were his eyes and ears and they weren’t afraid to tattle if someone did anything worth telling.
Sometimes even when it wasn’t worth telling.
Slipping back into the room, I carefully got under the covers when he stirred. I felt his arm cage me in, pulling my ass into his crotch while his voice licked my ear. “What did you find out, Little Bird?”
“Nothing new,” my voice landed flat and I tensed hoping he was too tired to commit to letting his hands roam the curves I cover up. “He’s just some rich kid throwing parties and giving out drugs. I didn’t recognize the snake stamped on everything.”
I had no reason to lie.
I had no loyalty to Khaos.
Dove’s hand pushed the band of my panties down and squeezed my hip, “That’s my girl. Always have my back.”
“Always. Can’t fly without you…” There was no emotion in my voice, but he bought it when I felt his lips kiss my shoulder while I fixed my eyes on the same expensive lamp.
That’s what happens when you have a mutually beneficial relationship that has dried up- you fill conversation with meaningless words.
This time he was listening.
He heard dollar signs.
“Do what you have to in order to keep his attention. You’re so good at that Little Bird,” his voice stung, and I knew exactly what he meant- use the sexy, show the sexy.
He didn’t even have to pull my panties down all the way, they simply obeyed him. I was the only one against the next ten minutes he was going to need with my body. I was going to lay there still while he finished working off being turned on by the fact that I’m a good little puppet.
KHAOS
I woke up the next morning with a slight hangover because let's be real - I even made friends with those and now we have a mutual agreement that friends don’t hurt other friends.
It wasn’t so much a hangover from the alcohol and smoking my way up to cloud nine, but the fact that I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The girl who wanted to blend in so much that all her efforts only made her stand out in my eyes.
I was so used to the spotlight that I wanted to know why she preferred the shadows.
Shaking off the memory of her, I sat up gently moving all the tangled limbs anchoring me down the way I loved. The girls groaned in unison making my grin grow, “Sorry ladies, work demands my presence.”
It didn’t.
It hasn’t.
My work was few and far between, a real last resort in the defense chamber because unlike these assholes I work with I get the results I want with a lot less drama.
Those ads you see after you mention a Klondike bar? Me.
The funny fake news about the president everyone hates that won the election? Me.
The dark web that YouTubers buy boxes from? Me, shit ton of fun making those.
All of the profiles with nonstop brazen opinions? The Karens and Kens of the world? Me.
I can’t take credit for all of the losers in the world, but I do act as thousands of them online... each with varying degrees of dick personality.