by Elena Monroe
Khaos wanted to know that I felt the same, if only he saw this moment, me wedged between him and an evil worse than a broken hand.
ETHAN
Khaos hadn’t been at work for over a week now and was ignoring every call and text sent his way. I even got a burner phone to make sure it wasn’t me he was ignoring.
Things got worse this morning when Vic appeared in front of my desk demanding answers when I was holding onto the taste of Anarchy on my tongue until he was back.
He was MIA so I took matters into my own hands by sneaking into Chateau de Khaos. Hiding in the bushes outside the kitchen I watched carefully as he sported a cast and a smile that seemed different than normal, brighter and less mischievous.
Birdy’s cool California raspy voice filled the air when I made myself invisible listening to her conversation.
Tense.
Yelling at a whisper level.
Nervous energy tickling the hairs on my arms.
“He’s off limits. I’m getting you the information you want. You already broke his hand, Dove.” Her voice was full of threats, but her body screamed insecure.
She was playing a dirty game of deception with my boy toy. I had his back even when he didn’t know it and that made me perfect for him.
GRIMM
Khaos was either going to get me or Vic at his front door with a cavalry ready to condemn him for threats we all fielded when he missed the Initiation yesterday.
All four of our fathers served up warnings on a silver platter that threatened the only things we cared about: our wives all because the Initiation went up in flames. Blood oath or not, they would find a way to make us pay at their hands for our mistakes just to keep us in line.
Bowen didn’t have much skin in the game, but our fathers didn’t deliver his threat out loud, it came in a cold stare that drained Bowen of the little color he had in his face.
Khaos wasn’t there to get his threat so instead he became one. Fucking little shit. I knew he’d be the reason something bad would happen one day.
Vic wouldn’t have been so triggered if his ass had been at work but Khaos wasn’t exactly the guy you could expect anything from. He was unpredictable and liked to stir the pot when it came to Vic, a constant beratement of Conquest and War clashing when they were supposed to work hand in hand.
There wasn’t any kind of respect there. Not enough to be anything mutual.
All those threats were followed by Vic calling a meeting at my house complete with a guest appearance from Rodriguez, LAPD, in tow to show us some kind of evidence on his phone with a stern look followed by the one name not in attendance.
A video of Khaos and a blonde I knew as Birdy caught on camera after decking some asshole for feeling her up.
I didn’t get the problem when I saw it as justified and she didn’t even use a gun the way I would have without blinking an eye. “What’s the problem? Bury it like you always do for us.”
Rodriguez wasn’t in uniform, not like he used to be whenever we interacted before. Now, he was in jeans and a casual hoodie with a gun hanging off his hip and a badge on display next to it. “Can’t. Wish I could, but this girl, right here, she’s been on the radar for a while. Known gang ties and that’s where I was promoted - gang intelligence unit.”
He was pointing to the video stopped on Birdy looking over her shoulder the way people only do when someone is chasing.
Vic was seething and already pissed he had to deal with more shit in Khaos’s absence.
Bowen was polishing off my liquor that never went touched.
“So, what’s it going to take?” I bit off annoyed that I was his keeper and had to answer for him.
“Information is power. Will she turn informant?” Rodriguez had to be crazy for suggesting it. This girl had Khaos wrapped around her finger and was in a gang - she wasn’t about to add turncoat to the list of skills.
He could tell by the look on our faces, except Bowen, that his suggestion wasn’t under advisement.
Rodriguez looked pushed against an invisible wall with his hands on his hips and an exasperated exhale. “I don’t have any pull, I’m the new guy on the team. I need something big if I’m going to cover this up.”
Vic gave me this look, full of revenge, boring into me like I knew exactly what he was about to say. “What about a raid? He’s holding enough to catch attention lately.”
“Vic,” I warned with my fists balled up tight.
“No. I’m done covering for the little shit. He needs to grow up sometime. He wants to make big boy mistakes then he can handle big boy consequences. The Initiation is the one thing he’s responsible for and he ditched to go on some juvenile date.”
Fuck.
“I’ll do it. He already hates you… can’t imagine why,” I was agreeing to something I didn’t want to do but I felt responsible for the punk, always have.
The next morning, I met Rodriguez with his gang unit, K9 dogs, and guys in bulletproof vests even though I tried to tell them he’s nonviolent. Sadly, if Rodriguez wasn’t on payroll and covering up shit for us, I would have already put him down.
Down the street from his house, I made sure Rodriguez knew to stay back until I gave the okay. Khaos wasn’t a loose cannon but this was going to go over as betrayal in his book.
Getting out of my car I spotted Birdy- the real piece of evidence. “Birdy?”
She looked white as a ghost and was trembling when she said, “I gotta go. Emergency.”
Before I could retaliate or respond she was moving away from me.
Good, get out before you get caught.
Moving towards his house I knocked on the kitchen window before I got to the door. When it flew open, I saw all the happiness he ran on light up his features, “Grimm! You came to check on me? I think you like me.”
Cutting through the bullshit I noticed his cast immediately, “What happened to you?”
He shrugged, walking further into his kitchen, “Case of bad luck.”
I was planted in the doorway watching Rodriguez and his team slowly getting closer. “I didn’t want to do this, but you fucked up missing Initiation. Vic is out for blood.”
Looking up, Khaos’s happiness had drained from his face when he pushed past me shouting Birdy’s name even after seeing the unit ready to rip his place to shreds.
Pushing me into the door frame with his good arm he grabbed my shirt and spoke in a voice that all but came undone. “What did you do?! You sent her away? Scared her? I fucking love her, Grimm! You can’t make that go away any more than how you feel for Abi!”
I didn’t think there was any scaring that girl away. Not if Rodriguez was right.
Clipped Wings has been on our radar for a while. Ruthless, a lot of deaths and drugs - the one pool we don’t dip our toes in.
Too unpredictable.
Too messy.
Too uncontrollable.
“You were caught on video in some kind of fight the day of the Initiation… our hands are tied. We all got called in while you’re playing nurse or house or whatever the fuck you’ve been doing. They threatened Abi and Jus if we can’t get you back in line, Khaos.”
His fingertips on either side of his head he paused all anger muttering fuck over and over again.
“That’s next week… Fuck.” All the realizations were hitting him like bricks. Time doesn’t stop because you fell in love and the Clave doesn’t let anything slide.
Two fingers in the air Rodriguez drew his gun anyway as I slowly backed away, “I didn’t want to do this, but you gave me no choice. Just cooperate.”
Rodriguez was playing his part in front of his new buddies that didn’t know he was on our payroll with so much gusto Khaos would have to appreciate it later. “Get on the ground! Hands behind your head,” Rodriguez pulled out a pair of cuffs snapping them around his wrists unapologetically.
I’m sure he wanted us all to pay somehow.
When you’re above the law, consequences, untouchable - everyone, deep d
own, wants you to pay for all the times they weren’t off the hook.
Some kind of way to balance the scales.
Khaos didn’t fight it, surprisingly, as I walked around with the unit waiting for the K-9 dogs to sniff out anything.
Two hours later, they found his drugs all around the house. Different stashes in multiple places, like a goddamn home pharmacy.
I knew he partied and got high, but all this? His kitchen island was full of spoils from their search and the guilt of not protecting him at all was weighing me down.
My mind snapped to the only person I shared joint custody with-Talen Kennedy. “Where’s Talen?”
He was sitting his ass on his lawn, upright this time, with a grimace I never even knew his face could make. “Fuck off, traitor.”
Rodriguez strutted his way next to me, “We couldn’t find a phone, but we’ll ping the location if it’s still on. We’ll be wrapping up soon.”
Khaos shouted, “Hey asshole, why don’t you fucking talk to me and not my babysitter? Still mad I figured out how you knocked up Jus before anyone else?”
Khaos had two modes: fun and calculated.
The latter was the weapon he rarely used because he liked his clean hands better.
I watched Rodriguez snap, every ounce of patience from playing both sides disappear, “Take him to holding. I’ll process him after I’m done here.”
My eyes went wide, and I stepped up to him keeping my tone in a whisper, “That’s not the deal.”
“Deal changed the minute he didn’t know what was good for him. He could use a night in jail.”
Fuck.
Two big guys hauled his ass off the grass while Khaos laughed in a way that only sounded like a broken boy too afraid to be hurt.
“You think this is going to ruin my day? Mistake only amateurs make. I’ll be out in a few hours.” He fought them every step of the way to the van and his sharp tongue kept handing out insults.
Birdy was in a gang but right now it certainly seemed like Khaos had lost the polish of cult life and gained a foul mouth instead.
Fuck.
ETHAN
Following the girl holding all of Khaos’s attention seemed like a better idea if I wanted to find her weaknesses. Khaos taught me that weaknesses could be hidden with a great personality, blinding the person from seeing any faults.
I wasn’t blinded by surfer Barbie the way he was.
For a girl with holes in her shoes I didn’t expect her to end up in the Hollywood Hills, punching in a gate code to a mansion.
I bet she was hiding more than weaknesses from Khaos.
Navigating my way around the perimeter, I found a way to watch without being seen from the bushes. I watched her walk up to a guy with tattoos covering his hands and a tan complexion, his arm wrapping around her neck like it always belonged there.
I got out my phone snapping pictures.
As Khaos says, “Proof or it didn’t happen.”
Following the bushes, I kept my eyes glued to them waiting to capture more private moments that would break his heart.
I would be there to piece it back together.
GRACE
Being here already felt foreign and I had only been gone about a week. I had managed to avoid Ears, Dove, Hamilton, and everyone else that drew a line back to Clipped Wings and it was freeing.
Every time I left Khaos after he fell asleep, I was doing what I had to do to keep us safe and above water which in my world was much easier to do at night. I had already fenced everything I had stolen in exchange for cash to fund my fresh start with him and was keeping a close eye on Dove, trying to cut every tie I could except the one that connected us - blood in and no way out.
I was seeing Justice outside of protesting as she tried to help me figure out how to put one foot in their world when I felt like an utter fraud knowing where I came from. I was treating her like an actual friend.
Besides wings, Khaos was giving me roots too, anchoring me down.
For the first time in forever I knew my worth and Dove wasn’t going to devalue me when I followed him into his office. I let him lead, but I wasn’t going to follow the same way I used to.
I watched him slump down in the chair across the desk, unamused and pensive like he was deciding right now if I was going to live or die.
Refusing to hold back anymore I unclenched my jaw, “Are you happy now? I’m here. Come on, say whatever you’ve been dying to say!”
Dropping Khaos’s unmistakable phone to the desk between us I saw the background was a picture of me on my board in the water.
Why didn’t I ever notice that before?
“Speaks pretty loudly, doesn’t it, Little Bird? You’re lucky your absence only made my heart grow fonder.” Rounding the table, I couldn’t take my eyes off of his phone when I felt his disgusting fingers against my neck, pushing my hair out of his way.
They didn’t feel anything like Khaos.
Whispering against my skin, his lips pressed into me, burning me, “I’m going to enjoy erasing him from your memories. Remind you who you belong to, who gives you wings.”
No one made me feel like I could fly like Khaos did. The wings he gave me were made of feathers, not wax, and I could fly as close to the sun as I wanted.
Swallowing hard, his hand pressed me down against the desk the way I knew he liked me, not having to see how disgusted I had become with him. Pressing up against me I felt him grind his groin into my ass with his hands planted on the desk, boxing me in, and Khaos’s phone close enough to touch even though I didn’t.
I wanted to scream, crawl my way out of this, fight him off but I wanted his phone back even more.
Reaching over me, one hand groping me through my shirt, and the other grasping onto the phone again he swiped up to the text messages. “Maybe you’ll remember these…”
Lifting my head as much as I could, I saw the texts from that night when I took Molly and hoped I could imagine Khaos. All those texts that came after that put the dead sex with Dove to shame.
“You said make him want me, that’s what I did.”
“I never said believe what you’re selling, Little Bird. We don’t dip into our own supplies; you know the rules. Now be a good girl and make me want to forgive you.” The thick accent he always sported made girls practically fall at his feet, but I just found it menacing, building a more evil personality than he actually possessed.
Trying to still so much he would hate touching me, I felt his hand push down my shorts, fingers finding their way inside my panties and touching parts of me that dried up the minute I was in his presence.
There wasn’t a way out of this that wasn’t going to result in some physical damage.
Dove’s hot breath against my neck forced me upright when he undid the button on my jean shorts, and I felt frozen by his insults. “You think he’ll love you once he knows who you really are? Damaged goods. Orphan. Criminal. Delinquent. Mine.”
Twisting my head away from him he forced my gaze back, “This is your only home, Little Bird. There’s no way out.”
“I’ll never love you the way I love him,” I spat out the words wanting to hurt him the same way he was hurting me. I wanted to dig my fingers inside his soul and twist it into knots.
Forcing myself to twist in his arms I pushed him off me. I would stay, fuck him until he discards me, steal until I got caught if it meant him leaving Khaos alone.
Dove laughed in my face, not moving an inch when I pushed my palms against his crisp black button down, “I don’t want your love, Little Bird. I want your loyalty.”
I felt stricken with anger, with hate, all overwhelming me when I shouted, “I want you to leave him alone and you can have my loyalty!” I wasn’t letting him devalue me, but I sure did feel pretty cheap right now.
I already lusted for the moments that Khaos made me feel expensive.
I could see him pondering my offer, analyzing me and my every expression for lies. Giving me space to breathe, he moved
towards the crystal bottles of various liquors when he poured himself a glass still not saying one word about my compromise.
I watched him put his glass down on the desk and a closed fist collided with my stomach making my heart jump into my throat. Folding over I heard his tsk tsk before he spoke, “You think you have enough power to bargain with me? You’re just a thief. Disposable to me.”
“I can go to the police, to the press, anywhere to put you behind bars,” it was an empty threat I coughed out after the painful hit I took. I wanted him to be helpless the same way he made people feel. I wanted him to know what it was like to survive on nothing and take whatever you could get.
If that meant more pain first than bring it on.
Nothing could compare to the pain my heart felt knowing Khaos was still in danger.
My mouth, motivated tongue, and the look on my face rivaling him to come at me all earned me a barreling fist to my cheek bone that made my whole body lose balance. On some shaking legs I stood up straighter ready to take more until he realized he couldn’t break me the way he wanted to.
He wanted to keep me caged and flightless with my wings melted down to lost hopes.
It’s hard to put someone back in their cage once they taste the power of flying.
A strong grasp came to the back of my neck, my shoulders tensing up to my ears when he whispered in my ear, “In death may you find wings, Little Bird.” Nothing else registered except a warm sensation in my stomach like I swallowed down Fireball straight and when I looked down, I saw his gun pressed firmly into my shirt.
That’s the thing about pain - your body protects you from feeling it when it’s too overbearing. I couldn’t even feel the bullet lodged in my organs, only the numbing sense of my body protecting me like I didn’t yearn for Khaos’s comfort anyways. No matter how well the pain got muted.
Dove pulled away from me, dropping his gun on the side table with all the liquor when I dropped to the floor holding where his gun was no longer plugging up the blood blooming into the fabric of Khaos’s shirt.