by Helen Lacey
He only wanted to sleep. He took a long breath, ignoring the way her hand came to lay against his arm. And, surprisingly, he did sleep.
When he awoke, Tess was still beside his bed, still holding his arm.
“Hey,” she said, and gave him some ice chips. “You’ve been asleep for a while. How do you feel?”
“Like I had a head-on collision with a bus,” he croaked out.
She smiled and stood. “I’ll get the doctor to—”
“No doctors,” he insisted, and swallowed the melted ice chips. “I’m hungry.”
Her smiled widened. “What would you like?”
“Cheeseburger.”
“I was thinking soup and Jell-O.”
Mitch felt like an invalid. And he hated Jell-O. “No Jell-O.”
He was about to relax again when the door opened and Ellie, Hank and Jake came into the room. A minute later, Joss arrived with his girls, and David, his two kids and his stepfather, Ivan, also entered. He was pretty sure there were way too to many people in the room. It was a little claustrophobic, but he tried to smile and pretend he was happy and not as broken inside as he was on the outside.
“We were given permission,” Ellie said, clearly reading his expression. “To come in here en masse. Tess did try and talk us out of it,” she added, and looked at Tess briefly. “But we wanted to see for ourselves how much better you were.”
He glanced toward Tess, unable to move his neck but catching her gaze with his open eye. Her mouth was set in a tight line, her hand on her stomach. Something flashed between them, a kind of heightened awareness of the situation, of the ridiculous number of people who were crammed into the small room, of the obvious tension between him and his ex-wife that no one seemed to notice except the two of them. It was always that way. They’d forged that connection years ago on the very first day they’d met.
The nurse arrived and quickly ushered everyone out...except Tess.
It seemed odd, somehow, that she was given the free pass to stay. Surely the nurse knew they were divorced, that they were busted, broken, not a couple. Sure, they had a child coming that would bind them together forever, but Tess wanted to marry someone else. She’d said so.
The nurses and doctors shouldn’t assume he wanted her standing a vigil by his bedside simply because she believed he was going to die. Or his family. Hell, they’d probably put her up to it. He could certainly imagine his brothers asking her to say whatever she needed to say to get him through surgery and recovery. To get him back.
I can’t do this without you. Our baby needs you. I need you. Please come back to me.
“The doctor will be back soon,” the nurse said, and checked his chart again. “He’ll answer any questions you both have.”
Both...
There was that couple thing again. They weren’t a couple. He wanted to shout out the words, but his throat was filled with razor blades. The doctor arrived and ran through his list of injuries again, including the fact he’d he unable to bear weight on his broken leg for a minimum of six weeks.
“That’s impossible,” he said, and groaned. “I have a ranch that doesn’t run itself. If I can’t get around and—”
“Mitch,” Tess said quietly. “You have to do what’s best for you.”
What’s best for me is for my ex-wife and the woman who is carrying my child to stop pretending she gives a damn...
He grunted, ignoring her and forcing his concentration to stay with the doctor, who was rattling on about something called aquatic therapy once the cast was removed, about staying sedentary while his ribs healed, about stitches that would need to come out, about checking his vision wasn’t permanently impaired in his right eye. Then about being transferred from post-op to the regular ward and being in the hospital for the next week, followed by complete bed rest for a couple of weeks after that. Tess asked a few questions and Mitch switched off, staring at the ceiling, wondering why everyone suddenly seemed to think it was okay that his ex-wife was discussing him as though she had some kind of claim on him...on them.
Once the doctor left, Mitch opened his eye and spoke. “Why are you here?”
She was by the bed, staring down at him. “To help.”
“I don’t need help.”
She waved a hand in an arc. “Yes, you do.”
“Then I’ll get my family to help.”
She was silent. “I was only trying to—”
“I get it,” he said wearily. “You want to help. You can help by leaving.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
She sighed. “I’ll come back later.”
“Don’t bother.”
She gasped. He heard it, but didn’t see it. His good eye was closed. Like he also tried to close off his ears, his brain, his heart. He didn’t want to hear her breathing or smell her perfume.
“Mitch... I...”
“We’re done, remember? Broken. Over.” He took a breath, one that hurt so much he had to use all that was left of his strength to not cry out loud. “Go home, Tess. Leave, remember how it’s what you’re good at.”
He heard her sigh heavily, heard her walk across the room, heard the door open and then close. The moment she left the room he was consumed by a sense of emptiness that rocked him bone deep. Because the last thing he wanted was for Tess to leave his side. And, more than anything, Mitch wished he had the courage to ask her to stay.
Chapter Ten
Of course, Tess didn’t leave him alone. She couldn’t, despite his insistence she go away. She stopped by the hospital every day until he was discharged. If he refused to see her, she would sit in the family waiting room, chatting with whoever happened to come and see him. The only time he cracked a smile with her was when she arranged for Emmett and his parents to come and visit before they headed back home from their vacation. He was clearly puzzled by her insistence on hanging around, but she didn’t care. All that mattered was Mitch getting out of the hospital and then getting back on his feet.
Eight days after the accident, he was released. Tess arranged for an ambulance to drive him back to the ranch, followed by Hank’s patrol car and Joss’s tow truck and Jake’s hog. It was quite a motorcade and she knew it irritated him no end. Mitch didn’t like fuss and didn’t like being the center of attention.
And he certainly didn’t like seeing her standing on his porch when he was escorted via wheelchair up the temporary ramp that Jake and Ellie had had installed a few days earlier.
Shanook greeted him the moment he arrived and Tess noticed he actually cracked a smile when he was reunited with the old dog. His brothers and sister fussed around him and she couldn’t help smiling a little when he said there was no way he was being carried upstairs.
“Don’t be a horse’s ass,” Joss said, and grinned. “You can’t sleep on the couch downstairs. You’ll be more comfortable in a real bed. Doctor’s orders.”
“There’s a roll-out bed in my office,” he said flatly. “I can sleep on that.”
“Nope,” Ellie said, hands on hips. “You’re liable to break your other leg trying to maneuver yourself in the bathroom with a wheelchair. Don’t be a pain in the neck. The bathroom upstairs is big enough for the wheelchair. You know I’m right.”
It took about five more minutes of reasoning to get him to agree, and Tess stayed out of the way while Joss and Hank lifted him from the chair, his broken leg suspended by Jake. She remained in the kitchen with Mrs. Bailey and helped prepare lunch for everyone. When his brothers came back downstairs they were smiling, except for Jake, who looked grim.
“He’s unbearable,” Joss laughed. “I feel for you, Mrs. B, having to put up with him for the next few weeks. When’s the nurse arriving?”
“They’re not,” Tess said quietly, and covered the tray she’d prepared with a cloth. “I’m moving back in to take car
e of things until he’s able to get around. You know he’ll never agree to a nurse,” she said, with a raised brow.
“I’m not sure he’ll agree to you, either,” Jake said flatly.
Tess ignored the annoyance spiking through her blood. Jake was clearly only saying what he believed Mitch wanted. And Jake, who was always Mitch’s closest ally, would never fail to have his brother’s back.
She grabbed the tray and looked at him. “I have to do this.”
“The last thing my brother needs is more stress.”
She nodded. “I know. I also know he’s not happy with me right now. The truth is, we’re not happy with each other. But we have a baby coming, and I’m not about to let my child’s father recuperate from an accident that could have killed him, without doing something to help him through this. Even if he wants me to leave him alone.”
She took a breath and rounded out her shoulders, seeing their startled expressions. Of course, they knew she wouldn’t be talked into leaving. The Culhane siblings might close ranks around their brother, but they knew she wouldn’t be swayed when she wanted something. And the reality was that, divorce or not, for a while she had been a Culhane. And that meant something to the people in the room.
For the next couple of weeks, it would mean everything.
She left the room and headed upstairs, stalling when she saw that he’d been put in the master bedroom. She lingered in the doorway, watching him as he sat up in the bed, his cast propped up on pillows, wearing a T-shirt and sweats with one leg cut out to make room for the cast. He was flicking stations on the television impatiently. Tess took a deep breath and entered the room.
“I brought lunch,” she said cheerfully, and laid the tray at the foot of the large bed.
“I’m not hungry,” he said irritably.
“Are you sure? It’s been a long time since that hospital breakfast,” she said as she looked at him. His eye was much better, not as swollen and now a delightful mix of shades of purple and blue and yellow. And the scrape down his cheekbone was healing nicely. The doctors were confident there was no chance of his head injury causing any ongoing problems, either. All he needed to do was rest and let his body mend itself.
“Are you comfortable?” she asked quietly.
“No,” he replied. “And if I must be upstairs, I’d rather be in my own room.”
“This is your room.”
“This was our room,” he reminded her. “And I’d prefer not to have to look at that twenty-four hours a day,” he said, motioning to their wedding portrait hanging on the wall.
“I could ask one of your brothers to take it down,” she suggested.
“Great idea.”
Tess stared at him, stung by the bitterness in his tone. “Are you saying that to punish me?”
“Maybe,” he said. “That’s what we do, isn’t it? You’ve been saying it all along. All we seem to do is be cruel to one another, over and over again.”
Pain seared through her. Because his words hit home.
“Can’t we have a do-over, Mitch?”
“To what end?” he asked, trying to sit up against the pillows and wincing in pain. “So you can make peace with yourself? I get it, Tess. I could have died in the mine shaft, and the last conversation we had was one about how we are nothing to each other. A blip, remember?”
Tess twisted the cap of the water bottle on the tray and moved around the bed, placing it on the bedside table. “I’ll come back later, when you’re in a better mood.”
She managed a tight smile and left the room, heading down the hallway and walking into the room they had talked about turning into a nursery. She opened the overnight bag on the edge of the bed, extracted some of the clothes and hung them in the wardrobe. She’d packed the bag that morning, enough clothes and personal items for a few days. If she lasted that long. Mitch was about as welcoming as an arctic winter. He didn’t want her at the ranch. Or in his life. The truth was, he could barely look at her. She laid out her pj’s on the bed, placed her toiletries in the adjoining bathroom and then went back downstairs.
Jake was in the kitchen, sitting alone at the big table, drinking coffee.
“Where is everyone?” she asked, and flicked on the kettle to make tea.
“Mrs. B headed back to her cottage, Ellie and the boys are in the stables looking at the new foal.”
“Chica had her baby, the latest Alvarez foal?”
He shrugged, looking surprised she knew the details. “I guess. Ellie insists on taking pictures to show Mitch. They’ll be back soon.”
“I get the feeling you want to say something to me,” she remarked, popping a tea bag into a mug.
She met Jake’s penetrating gaze. “He’s pretty messed up.”
“Well, a week ago he was almost killed, so yes, he is.”
Jake shook his head a little. “That’s not what I meant. I meant in here,” he added, and tapped his temple. “I know my brother. I know when something is on his mind. Usually it’s just the ranch and this family. But at the moment, it’s something else.”
Tess patted her stomach. “We have a baby coming, so naturally he’s a little preoccupied.”
“I know he wanted you back,” Jake said bluntly. “And that you told him to get a lawyer.”
Wanted. Past tense. “I want what’s best for my child,” she said.
“And do you think keeping Mitch away from his son is what’s best?”
“That’s not what I intend on doing,” she replied defensively. “He can see as much of the baby as he wants. I’ve agreed to fifty-fifty custody.”
Jake’s expression softened. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but I’m concerned about my brother. And maybe having you here isn’t going to help him recover.”
So there it was...what he really wanted to say. And probably what everyone else was thinking.
“Is that how you all feel?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think Mitch has said much to the others. And you know Ellie and Grant adore you, Tess. The truth is, none of us understood why you left in the first place. Mitch simply said it was his fault, and we accepted what he said. And then out of the blue, you’re back and pregnant. I think we have the right to be a little concerned, don’t you?”
She wanted to be annoyed, but couldn’t be. The Culhanes were a tight unit. She had known that going in and accepting Mitch’s proposal so long ago.
“I understand,” she said tightly. “And I would never deliberately hurt your brother.”
It was a lie. Because they did hurt one another. Maybe not deliberately. But sometimes she felt as though she said things to wound and punish him for not being present in their grief all those years ago.
Hank and Joss returned to the house and headed upstairs to check on their brother before they left. Ellie hung around in the kitchen with Tess, helping to clean up after lunch.
“Everything okay, sister-in-law?” she teased as she stacked the dishwasher.
Tess managed a playful scowl. “You probably shouldn’t call me that anymore.”
“I can’t help it,” Ellie admitted. “I’m still that little kid who wants her parents to stay together.” She sighed. “I know you’re not my mom. But...you were the only mom I remember.”
Tess squeezed Ellie’s shoulder. There were only seven years between them in age, but most days it felt like an entire generation. And she knew how much the younger woman looked at Mitch as a father figure. “We’ll see,” she said, and waved a hand.
“Does that mean you’re thinking about moving back in permanently?”
She shrugged. “Mitch and I need to work things out between us, and figure out a way to co-parent our son,” she said, and smiled warmly. “And you.”
Ellie laughed. “I can be a brat. But I mean well. I meant to talk to you about the baby shower. I’ll need a final list of wh
o you would like me to invite. Annie said there would probably be a few old college friends you might want to come.”
Tess half listened as Ellie prattled on about the baby shower and agreed she’d make a note of anyone she wanted on the guest list. Once they finished cleaning up, Ellie headed back to the stables and Tess returned to Mitch’s room. The tray of food was untouched and she noticed how the wedding portrait was conspicuously absent from the wall and figured his brothers must have taken it down.
“You really should eat something,” she said from the doorway.
He was watching the television and muted the volume when he spotted her. “I’ll eat later.”
“Ellie showed me pictures of Chica’s baby. She looks adorable. What will you name her?”
“No point,” he replied. “It’s a filly, and the first filly goes to Alvarez. She’ll be transported once she’s weaned.”
Tess entered the room and walked toward the French doors, pulling back the curtains. “Would you like the doors opened for a while?”
“Do you want to add pneumonia to the list?”
She raised her brows. “Really? Is every conversation going to be an argument?”
“You tell me,” he replied. “You’re the one intent on playing nurse.”
“You need someone to look after you while you recuperate,” she reminded him. “Would you rather we hire someone?”
“Yes,” he quipped, then shook his head. “No. Frankly, I just want to be left alone.”
“That’s your frustration talking,” she said cheerfully. “Would you like your laptop? A book? Magazine?”
“No, and stop fussing.”
“Someone needs to.”
“Not you.”
Tess planted her hands on her hips. “Why are you being such a stubborn jerk about this? You don’t want any help—you made that very clear. Give everyone a break, Mitch,” she said. “We just want to help.”