“You just what?”
She looks up, her dark doe eyes hesitant. “I wanted to just check on you. I heard arguing coming out of your room, and then the slamming of your door. I just… I don’t know… wanted to ask if you were okay.”
I laugh it off, then slam my beer down on the bench and push myself off it. “Yeah, Selina, I’m fine,” I reply, and go to storm past her, but her hand reaches out to my arm, holding me back. I look down at her red nails then slowly up to her eyes. “Let go, Selina.”
She bites on her bottom lip. “I’m here for you, Blaze, always.”
I narrow my eyes, is she for real right now? I pull out of her hold. “Thanks, but I’m good.”
I open the door, then stop when she quietly says, “I would never let you leave if you were mine.”
I turn slowly to face her, not believing what I’m hearing. One, I’m with Tess, and two, she’s with one of my brothers, and still she’s trying to move in on me.
“Yeah, well I’m not, I’m Tess’s.” I look her up and down in disgust. “Why don’t you go and give Gunner a morning blow job—that’s what you’re good at, aren’t you?”
Her eyes widen and tears threaten to fall. “How dare you—”
I don’t stand around any longer, I walk out thinking fuckin’ bitches.
Blaze
I walk through the main hall and head outside to my bike. The smell of rain hits my senses and I look up at the sky. Dark clouds are scattered above, matching my mood. I take out a smoke, light it up, and take a few drags. The sound of a woman moaning cuts through the silent dawn and has me looking toward the garage. I quietly walk up to see who’s the lucky man—Rhyder, always Rhyder. It used to be Trigger with all the ladies around here, but since he met Charity, he’s a changed man, pretty much the same as Quill, Hawke, and me. Since I met Tess, it’s only ever been her. I’ve never wanted anyone else, or even looked at another female; there’s no need. She’s it for me, and tonight… well, I thought I’d be celebrating with her, but it seems it hasn’t turned out that way.
I turn to walk away when Rhyder yells, “Hey, man. Wait up.”
I don’t look back, but keep walking to my bike. Just when I straddle it, Rhyder comes striding toward me with his jeans unbuckled, throwing on his shirt. I smirk at him when he’s standing before me. “Aren’t you a busy man right now?”
He turns back to the woman in the garage, who’s standing in the doorway and looks pissed. “Who, Brittany? I’m done with her anyway. Where you off to this time of night? Or shall I say morning?” he asks, looking at his watch.
I take a drag then throw the butt on the ground, looking around the compound. “Nowhere, man, just a ride.”
He must sense something in my voice because he slides his hands into his front pockets, then asks, “What’s up, man. You all good?”
“Fuck, man, you grown a pussy all of a sudden?”
“What do you mean, brother?”
“What’s with all the questions?”
He shrugs. “I dunno, it’s just… you’re usually stuck in your room with your woman, and something seems off.”
“Nothing’s wrong, man. Geez, can’t I just get some fresh air?”
“Sure,” he says, cocking an eyebrow.
“Look, I’m not up for one of these talks, I’m gonna head out.” I start up my engine and rev it. I can just make out the voice of a female calling out my name, and when I look up, Tess is standing in the doorway of the clubhouse. The sound of my bike muffles her voice, but I make out “Please come back.” The sight of her standing there in just my T-shirt makes my heart ache. She’s so fuckin’ perfect.
I rev my bike even more and look over at Rhyder. “I’m out.”
He frowns and goes to open his mouth, but I don’t give him a chance to talk. I just kick the stand, then ride through the car park and down the street, knowing a visit to my mom’s is the best remedy for my aching heart.
It’s close to 5:30 a.m. by the time I reach my mom’s; she’s nearly an hour ride, but her pancake breakfast with bacon and eggs makes up for it.
My mom lives alone. She brought me up on her own, and I can’t even remember my father. He died serving his country when I was two, and my mom has never gotten over losing him. My mom is beautiful, and even in her fifties still has striking eyes and long hair. She’s half English, half Spanish, and you would never guess she’s older than forty.
I still have a key to the house, and now and then I pop over to check in on her—when she’s home, for that matter. She’s always helping out at the local church, she cleans Father Hills’ home, and even cooks for him most nights. She loves helping the community and is always donating her time to help the homeless.
Walking quietly into the kitchen so as not to disturb my mom, I turn the coffee machine on and stare out the window, seeing the backyard I used to play in as a child. The fort I’d built with wood along the fence still sits there. Well, not completely sitting there—the weather has damaged it some, and the blue paint I used to paint it is now faded and peeling off.
I rub my face with both my hands, trying to ease some of the tension of the night. I don’t hear her walk up behind me, but nearly jump out of my skin when I feel a hand touch my back. “Dalton, when did you get here? Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” she says, moving back when I yelp in surprise.
“Jesus, Mom, you scared the shit out of me.”
“Hey, watch your language in this house.”
“Sorry, Mom,” I say apologetically, not even realizing that I’d cursed.
“Son, what brings you here so early? Is everything okay?” she asks, concern laced in her eyes. She glances around the room then back at me.
“What you lookin’ for, Mom?”
“Tess, where is she?”
I swallow hard. I told my mom that I was going to propose to Tess, she even gave me the ring my father gave her to propose with. The only problem is, she said no, and the ring still sits heavy in my jeans pocket, buried deep as a reminder that I never got to put it on Tess’s finger.
She shakes her head. “No, don’t tell me you didn’t ask her?” The sound of the coffee maker giving out one final gurgle breaks the silence. I turn to get a mug, but she quickly stops me with her hand on mine. “Here, I’ll do that for you, I’ll also fix you up some pancakes. You sit at the table,” she says, pointing to a seat.
I smile. “Thanks, Mom.”
She steps up on her tiptoes and kisses me on my cheek, then looks into my eyes with one hand cupping my face. “Anything for my boy.” She tightens her dressing gown, and I take a seat, watching as she prepares my coffee for me. I take it from her outstretched hand and have a few sips while it’s still hot.
“So,” she says, grabbing a mixing bowl from the cupboard above and walking to the pantry, where she grabs a bag of flour. “I want you to tell me everything.”
I turn away and face the table as I continue to drink my coffee. I don’t want to talk about it, but my mother is going to persist until I tell her everything. The problem is, I don’t know Tess’s reasons. I may have left in anger because my pride had been hurt, but this has to end now. I’ve asked her twice now, and she can’t give me a clear-as-fuck answer when she says she can’t marry me. I love her, she’s it for me, I want her by my side forever, on the back of my bike, and to be the mother of my children, so why? Why the fuck is she saying no?
A thought comes to my mind: Tracker. Tracker can help me out. Maybe he can do a background trace on her. Just the thought of it has me sick to my stomach. How can I go behind my woman’s back and do a search into her past? She would hate me, but what other choice do I have when she won’t talk to me about it.
With that decision made, I turn to my mom. “Didn’t have a chance to ask her yet, Mom, but don’t worry, it will happen soon.”
She turns and smiles. “Sooner rather than later, Dalton, I need me some grandbabies soon.” I return her smile; if she only knew how desperately I want that too. An
image of Tess barefoot and pregnant in our kitchen has my stomach flipping. I envy what Quill and Hawke, and now Trigger, have. I want that too. So, so much.
Tess and my mom had a strong connection from the first day I introduced them. They became close instantly. I think it’s because Tess didn’t have a mom growing up. She hasn’t told me much about her folks, but when I asked her about them, she only ever spoke of her mom, and how she died when Tess was born. I never pushed her because I didn’t want to upset her, and she didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it. A few months later, I brought up the subject again, hoping I would get some insight into her past, but she just changed the subject. I’ve never pushed her, was just happy that she was with me, under my protection, but something tells me her resistance to marry me has something to do with her past, and it’s about time I find out what the real reason is.
“Don’t worry, Mom, it will happen soon. I promise.”
Tess
It’s lunchtime and he’s still not back. I’ve had a shower, gone out front to have some coffee and something to eat, and still nothing. I’ve tried calling and messaging him numerous times but he’s not answering, not even messaging back.
I don’t blame him, he’s pissed, and I’ve probably hurt his pride. I get it, I do. This is the second time he’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said no. I just wish that me being his old lady was enough for him—not Blaze, though, he wants to be all in. And I do too, I just can’t. The look on his face when he left was enough to tell me how upset he was. I know it’s time I tell him. I can’t keep it from him any longer. I’ve been waiting for the right time, but it seems the more I keep my past a secret from him, the more I’m hurting him. I need to get it out in the open, even if he doesn’t want me after all this. I need to be straight with him. What other choice do I have?
The buzz of my phone has me coming out of my thoughts, and I quickly snatch it from the side table, hoping it’s Blaze. Disappointment fills me when I open up the message and see Luisa’s name.
Hey, you. I’m in desperate need of a girl’s day out, shopping to be exact. It seems I need a new wardrobe.
A slight smile reaches my lips; Luisa has been complaining the last few weeks that she can’t get rid of the extra weight she put on after having the twins. She looks amazing to me, but she swears she can’t fit into her prebaby clothes. Hawke’s not complaining, I hear him tell her how he’s loving her new curves and wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s such a sweet guy.
But do I want to go shopping? It’s Sunday, and Ink Me isn’t open today. It’s the only day of the week that I get to have a day off. Maybe the distraction will do me good, until I figure out how I’m going to tell Blaze the truth about my past.
I text Luisa back: Sure, see you soon.
I quickly walk to the dresser and apply some makeup, then change my shirt. I brush my hair again, trying to tame my wavy hair. It seems it doesn’t like this humid weather, my curls coming through, no matter how many times I straighten it. Content with my appearance, I gather my things together, including my purse. I’m just about to check my phone again when I hear a light knock on the door. The time on my phone says half an hour has passed since Luisa texted me. Opening the door, I place a wide smile on my face, thinking it’s Luisa.
“That was quick….” My words stumble when I realize it’s Rhyder standing there, in black jeans with rips at the knees, a white shirt, and his cut. Rhyder is one good-looking guy, I’m clueless as to why he hasn’t got a woman yet.
“Oh, hey, Rhyder. What’s up?”
“Hey, darlin, just looking for Blaze, he back yet?” He looks behind me and around the room. I sink my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, my stomach falling. “Um…. No, sorry, Rhyder,” I say, looking everywhere else except at him.
Knowing Rhyder saw him leave, and me yelling out his name, I try to dodge his questioning eyes, and smile. “He’ll be back soon, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” he states grabbing his cell out of his back pocket. “Prez is calling church, that’s all. I’ll just give Blaze a call.”
He turns his back to me, and I hear the sound of his finger pressing numbers on the phone. I don’t close the door; I’m too anxious to see if Blaze answers it.
“Hey, brother, where you at?” I hear Rhyder say. “Oh yeah? Still there? Tell her hi for me, and that I’ll be visiting soon to get my own pancakes.”
Pancakes? He must be at his mom’s. I try not to let the fact that Blaze answered Rhyder’s call and not mine upset me. I’ve hurt him, I deserve it.
“Prez is calling church. When can you be here, brother?”
Silence….
“Okay, bro, I’ll tell Prez an hour.”
Ending the call, he turns around, and his look turns to one of surprise, noticing I’m still standing there. “Anything you need, Tess?”
“Yeah, um…. What time is it?” You’re an idiot, you have your cell in your hand. I’m dying on the inside but keep looking at Rhyder intently.
He frowns, then looks down at his watch. “Just hit twelve thirty.”
“Cool, thanks. Luisa should be here any minute.”
“I just saw her out front, she just walked in with Hawke and the twins,” he replies, pointing his thumb to the front of the club.
“Great, thanks, I’ll go meet her out front,” I say awkwardly, needing to get out of here before I die of humiliation.
He nods, then turns and walks down the hall toward the main room. I turn around and grab my purse from the bed and head outside, shutting the door behind me. I look down at my phone and decide to call Blaze one more time, I want to let him know that I’ll be out when he returns, but again he doesn’t pick up. Tears burn my eyes, hurt filling me with an aching, hollow feeling, but with the sound of Luisa nearby, heading my way, I quickly wave my hands at my eyes, trying to fan the tears away. I inhale then throw my phone in my purse and head toward her voice. Once I turn the corner, I practically bump into her, with Lila in her arms and Sienna in Jasmine’s.
“Say hello to Aunty Tess,” Luisa says to Lila, holding her tiny hand and making her wave at me.
“Hello, gorgeous girl,” I coo, taking her out of Lu’s arms and kissing her on her plump cheek before I adjust her on my hip.
She smells of baby powder. I love that smell. “One day I hope to have a little girl just like you,” I whisper to Lila, tapping her lightly on her nose.
“Hello, Aunty Tess.” I feel small arms wrap around my thigh and look down to see Rose clinging to me, a big grin on her face. Rose is a spitting image of Jasmine, with her long dark hair and green eyes, and she’s simply gorgeous. I look around for Jack, who is never too far away, and find him running around the clubhouse, causing havoc as always with his endless energy.
“Hello, sweetheart, how are you today?” I ask, bending down and kissing the top of her head.
“I’m good, Mommy’s taking us to the zoo.”
I look up at Jasmine. “Is she now? You have a very good mommy.”
“Tell me about it,” Jasmine says, rolling her eyes.
“You guys enjoy shopping while the boys have church and I take the kids to the zoo.”
“Why don’t you come with us?”
A look of panic fills Jasmine’s eyes.
“No, um…. Lu needs a day out, the kids would just be in the way.”
Confused, I look at Lu; she also has a panicked look. What’s going on?
“Okay then, you guys head out and enjoy,” Jasmine says, grabbing Lila out of my arms.
She cries when she leaves me, and I croon, “It’s okay, I’ll be back. Aunty Tess will be back soon,” running my hand gently over her soft hair before stepping away.
“Ready?” Lu asks,
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
As we’re walking out, Lu leads the way, and Jasmine suddenly grasps my arm, holding me back. I look at her, confused.
“Little bit of warning, I went shopping with Lu last week and we s
pent over two hours trying on clothes. We walked out with one pair of jeans, so I hope you have some comfy shoes on,” she teases, giggling as she rolls her eyes.
I laugh then quickly cover my mouth, not wanting Luisa to know we’re talking about her.
“Are we going?” Lu yells from the door.
I kiss Jasmine on her cheek. “Thanks for the tip, I’m glad I wore my Converse.”
I leave Jasmine and walk up to Lu, still smiling. “What was that about?”
“Oh, nothing,” I reply, quickly walking ahead of her to make a start to our day.
Luisa decides to drive, and we head into the city to get our shopping on. I find myself distracted in the car, the thought of what I’m going to say to Blaze when I get back running endlessly through my mind. The good thing is, Luisa hasn’t noticed that I’m distracted and continues to talk about Hawke and the twins, and how nice it is to have a girlie day out. I grab my phone out of my purse and check to see if I have any missed calls or texts—but there’s still nothing. What if he’s had enough and doesn’t want me anymore? What if this is the final straw for him? I turn to look out my window and try to imagine my life without Blaze. What would I do? How would I move on? I wouldn’t, is the response in my head. How could I continue to live without Blaze? I hate that I’ve become this insecure woman, but I guess that’s what love does to you, and the fact that I could lose it any day.
“Hey, you. What’s going on?”
I snap my head up and look at Lu, a fake smile planted on my face. “What do you mean?”
“You’re somewhere else today. Are you okay?” she asks, glancing at me then back at the road.
I rub my palms down my jeans to my knees and inhale. “I’m okay.”
“You don’t sound okay. If there’s something bothering you, you can tell me, I won’t say a thing.”
Can I tell her? It would be nice to finally tell someone, but then again, that someone should be Blaze, he is the one who should know first.
“No, I’m fine, hon, honestly,” I say, smiling as brightly as I can manage. “Look, there’s a parking spot.” I point to an empty spot, happy at the chance to change the subject.
Tess Property of Blaze: Book #5 in the Blood Brothers MC Series Page 4