by M. D. Grimm
We glared at each other.
"I cannot explain something you could never possibly comprehend," Aishe snapped. "I know my place, Morgorth. I know what is expected of me, and I forgot that for a time and was banished. I wasn't there to help my tribe or to die with them. I wouldn't unite with the dialen they picked because
--"
"Because what?" I urged when he stopped. But his entire stance had changed. He became paler, the color that his anger had put into his face drained. His eyes widened, and he looked away. I was thrown. My own anger was banked, and confusion replaced it.
"Aishe?"
But he had fallen silent. I noticed the elders coming towards us, and I knew we had to put this strange argument aside. For now.
"We agree that moving into the caves will give us the advantage," said one of the females. "But there are crawlers who reside in those mountain passages. Perhaps you might get rid of them."
I swallowed a sigh. There was always something. "Of course," I said. I looked at Aishe, and he refused to look at me.
"Come on, Aishe, let's see to it."
***
Crawlers were cave-dwelling, flesh-eating creatures that were long, flat, and had one hundred or so little clawed legs. They had antennae that protruded from their heads right above their two huge red eyes. They had little pinchers on either side of their mouths that helped them eat, and they had mean tempers. They also reproduced at an alarming rate and grew to about fifteen feet long. Some grew longer.
The task of exterminating them all took up the rest of the afternoon and most of the night until the early morning. Aishe and I had help from the other dialens, and I set most of the crawlers on fire once I'd deposited their rotting bodies outside. Some I transported back to Vorgoroth where the truls and wichtln would make quick work of them. Their bodies stunk alive or dead, and I doubted the tribe wanted to live in the caves with that smell. It was like mildew and rotting flesh and something else I had no desire to identify.
The crawlers had made useful tunnels through the mountain, and I used them to find them all. The Lania tribe mined this mountain for its natural resources, and I suspected their findings would multiply ten-fold now that the crawlers were no more. Only problem was -- no crawlers, no more convenient tunnels.
I heard scraping and shrieking ahead of me and ran down the tunnel, my eyes magickally enhanced to see in the dark. I'd done that for all the dialen when I noticed the sun setting. The tunnels were wide and short, but I managed to run while standing straight. The walls, ceiling, and floor were smooth, and it made moving around much easier. The sounds echoed loudly around me, and I turned a sharp corner and skidded to a stop to keep from being smashed with the tail end of a pissed off crawler.
Aishe was standing in front of it, alone, and nocked an arrow, pointing it at the beast that was currently shifting and scraping its claws against the rock walls.
"Need any help?" I asked as I watched the crawler rear up and give a screechy roar that made me wince.
"No. I have this." His voice was flat and damn calm. He pulled back his bowstring and let the arrow fly right into the crawler's mouth, which had just opened, revealing small, spiky teeth and a large green tongue that was obscenely long. The arrow lodged itself inside, into the upper jaw, and the crawler let out a shrieking roar that made my ears ring, and thrashed itself against the walls.
Aishe already had another arrow latched, but before he could launch it, the crawler somehow got its tail around to the front and swiped it at the dialen. I jerked and had magick ready, but Aishe agilely jumped out of the way and ducked when it swung over his head. I thought I was agile, but Aishe made me look slow and stupid. The tail never came close to hitting him, and he was able to leap into the air and let fly an arrow that struck the crawler right in one of its red eyes. Another shriek rattled my ears but was silenced when Aishe somehow got on top of the crawler's head and stabbed it with his short sword. I admit, I was damned impressed.
The crawler fell to the ground with an echoing crash, and Aishe jumped off lightly, the bow in one hand, the sword in the other. He smiled at me smugly.
"Told you I could handle it."
I had to swallow several times before answering. "Yeah. Right." He had held his own against the revenai, but against the crawler, he had owned that battle. I liked it. A lot. He was panting just a little, and with my enhanced sight I saw the sweat that beaded on his forehead.
I suddenly wanted to paint him. The urge to put paint to canvas had never been as strong as it was now. He was so full of emotion, and he struggled so beautifully to keep it all contained, to stay in control. He suffered, and he won.
The painting would be untitled. The subject would speak for himself.
"What?" He frowned at me. I realized I was staring blatantly at him and looked away. I cleared my throat.
"Nothing, just...just impressed." I said, trying to sound unimpressed.
I didn't think I pulled it off because Aishe raised an eyebrow and gave me a small, knowing smile. I tried to ignore him as I walked passed him and lifted my arms over the crawler, which was already stinking up the place. I envisioned where I wanted the corpse to go and with several words, sent it there, teleporting the carcass to where it would make some truls very happy.
"I think that's the last one." I closed my eyes. "Which is really good because I'm tired of wasting my time on colossal stink bugs."
Aishe snorted.
I spread my senses out, and they weaved through the tunnels and pressed against the rocks. I searched for any crawler we might have missed. If only two got away, they could mate, and we'd be neck deep once more in the icky things. I felt the other dialens walking around, but I couldn't find anything long and stinky.
"I don't feel them, but I'll have to do one more sweep." I opened my eyes. "Just to be sure."
"Sounds good." Aishe followed me as we walked through the tunnels, and after I had communicated with my troops by way of magick crystal (they are handy in so many ways), the only sounds were our footsteps.
We hadn't spoken about our argument, and I didn't know if we should. Regardless of what we said to each other, we would inevitably just piss each other off.
I realized that Aishe was bumping into me, just his shoulder against mine. I moved away, as much as the tunnel would allow. Then I heard him take a deep breath and let out a strange groan on the exhale.
"I can't stand it!" Aishe suddenly exploded. I jerked and could only gasp as Aishe dropped his bow, grabbed my shoulders, slammed me against the wall...and kissed me.
Shocked to the bone, I stood there, frozen, as Aishe's mouth plundered mine in way I had never experienced. His lips vibrated on mine; his tongue swept inside my mouth, tasting everything. His hands gripped my shoulders hard, and I actually felt his body tremble.
Then he was done. He picked up his bow and walked away, leaving me shaken and horribly confused.
What. The. Fuck?
***
I slept badly for the last few hours of night, and when the sun rose, I started helping the dialen move their things inside the caves. I hadn't seen Aishe since that strange and out-of-the-blue kiss, and I didn't know what the fuck it meant. He challenged me on so many levels, he made me want to know him, he made me question what I wanted just by being around.
And that strange question he asked, "Is that what you want?" when I said we would separate after our mission was done. His question taunted me, making me ask it of myself.
Did I want to separate from Aishe? I didn't like the answer I came up with. And what did he want? What did that kiss mean? Did he want to stay with me? Why the fuck would he? He didn't even like me!
The dialens set up their main camp in one of the large caverns towards the middle of the mountain, and I brought in another tent just in time to see Aishe speaking to another male dialen. His companion was slightly taller than him, with black hair and blue eyes. They seemed to be in deep conversation because their heads were close, and I barely suppressed
the flood of jealousy that tried to drown me.
Ridiculous.
I looked away, but my eyes were drawn back. The dialen put his arm around Aishe's waist and seemed to be trying to tug him into a hug, but Aishe put up a hand, resisting. There was something in the other dialen's eyes that bothered me. Aishe was the one to break off the conversation. He stepped away and shook his head. Then he looked right at me. I gulped and felt as guilty as if I'd been eavesdropping. Aishe's mouth moved while still looking at me, and he walked away from his companion. The dialen turned to look at me, and I saw anger and -- wait for it -- jealousy in his eyes.
Well, I think I just had my first look at a former lover of my partner.
Wait.
What? Did I just think that... partner?
The dialens were quick and had their camp up and running by midday. I ate quickly and set out to the entrances of the caves, contemplating what magick barriers I would put up. Kayl had unlocked a lot of Rambujek's power, but I still had a few tricks up my sleeve. He was just a thug with power. I wasn't.
I was a true mage.
I was looking through the different paraphernalia in my belt pouches when I heard voices near the entrance. One of them was Aishe's. With only a second's hesitation, I moved closer and made myself invisible. I walked to the corner of the entrance and saw Aishe standing next to a female who I did not know. She sat on a large boulder, and he paced in front of her. Their voices were low, but I heard them clearly.
"… tell him." Aishe said. He seemed frustrated and ran his fingers through his hair. I had never seen him frustrated before. "He told me not to. But, by the Mother, the more I'm around him..." Aishe crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.
"You need to calm down before you can come up with a solution," the female said reasonably. "If what you've told me is the truth, then I would say you two were meant."
Aishe looked aggrieved when he lifted his face. "Adella, how can I pursue something when this," he jabbed a hand to the black paint, "keeps me away? How can I feel anything for him when I'm on a hakum? I shouldn't, and yet..."
"You needn't feel guilty," Adella said, touching Aishe's hand. "Aishe, listen. Think about this clearly for a moment. If your tribe knew what you know now, then perhaps they banished you for an entirely different reason."
I leaned closer, extremely curious.
"What do you mean?" Aishe asked.
"If they knew you would meet the mage, and yet they still betrothed you, they must have known you would rebel. Then you would not be there when they were killed. You would be saved and thus would meet Morgorth and stop the sorcerer. Perhaps this is the Mother's plan."
Aishe sat down beside her. I was confused. Were they saying that I knew Aishe before? That I met him sometime in my past? But I didn't remember him, and Aishe was not the sort of dialen I would forget.
"He doesn't want me," Aishe said softly, tears thick in his voice. "He said he would but... He doesn't remember. How could he? He doesn't know."
Aishe leaned forward and dropped his face in his hands. "I want to be with him so much, Adella, and I can barely control myself when I'm around him. And that makes me cruel and mean."
Adella sighed and rested her head on Aishe's shoulder. "I love you, Aishe, so much. As much as your mother did. I hate to see you in such pain. But you have to believe that you will complete your hakum; you must believe that there is an end to this and that a new beginning will open up for you. It is up to you whether Morgorth is in it."
They fell silent, and I slipped away. None of it made much sense, but the one clear truth was that Aishe wanted me. That alone bore thinking on. I became visible again and sat on one of the rocks that protruded from the ground on the outskirts of the camp. I watched the dialens bustle around to each other's tents and wondered why a dialen like Aishe would give me a second look.
"You're the mage?"
I looked up to meet the eyes of the dialen who had been talking to Aishe. The ex-lover, or at least, that was my guess. I straightened and nodded.
"That's me."
He looked me up and down in a very insulting way. "Not much of a mage, are you?"
I smiled slightly. "It's not the size that counts. And who would you be?"
"Slydde." He actually puffed out his chest. "I'm Aishe's betrothed."
Oh yeah, I really didn't like this guy. At all. Less than I liked the stones.
"Really? Must be nice. Only, I thought Aishe had rejected you and then was banished and now is on a hakum. I really don't see how you fit in."
He scowled darkly, and I grinned. If there was one thing I hated more than sorcerers and the Pferun Dulleriin, it was pompous jackasses like him.
"When he has avenged his tribe, he will unite with me." He pointed a finger at me. "Don't think you can stand between us. He's mine."
"I do believe Aishe can speak for himself." I stood up. He was taller than me, but I wasn't intimidated. There was also a strange warmth in my stomach that formed with the knowledge that he thought I was a rival. It was kind of nice.
Slydde stepped up to me and our toes touched. He really would be nice looking if it weren't for the unpleasant expression on his face.
"Mage or not, I will end you," he snarled.
"Leave him alone, Slydde." Aishe stepped up to us and actually shoved the dialen away.
"I can handle him," I said.
"You shouldn't have to." Aishe glared fiercely at the dialen, who tried to look innocent.
"We were just --"
"I know what you were just," Aishe snapped and got in his face. "I told you before, Slydde. I don't have time for you. I also don't have any intention of following through with the betrothal."
Slydde looked genuinely shocked. Idiot. "But, Aishe, my love --"
Aishe slashed the air with his hand, cutting Slydde off. "Enough. My tribe is dead, Slydde. Don't you understand that? Dead! My entire life is different now, and after the hakum... Well, I intend to embrace that. Please leave."
Slydde looked speechless, and his mouth opened and closed several times before he turned and left. Aishe watched him leave, and he looked tired. His shoulders slumped, and he sighed long and low. Having heard what he told Adella, I felt a little awkward to be alone with him, but I couldn't make myself leave.
"Your parents were really going to make you unite with that davish?" I sat down. Aishe was silent and sat next to me. Our legs touched, but I didn't jerk mine away; that would seem rude, and I felt like Aishe needed me to just be nice to him.
"I loved my parents," he said softly, eyes on the ground. "They were just following tradition. Slydde and I... Well, we were together a lot, so my parents thought that was what I wanted. But I didn't want a life with him."
"Who'd you want a life with?" The moment it was out of my mouth, I wished I could take it back. Aishe's private conversation replayed in my head, and I looked away, hoping he wouldn't answer.
"You would have liked my parents," Aishe said. "They were loving and supportive. My father had a laugh that could be heard throughout the forest, and my mother had a voice that rivaled the beregun."
"Really?" That impressed me. The bereguns were mountain-dwelling, cold-loving bloodsuckers that could enchant anyone's heart and mind with only a single note. Many travelers passed too close to their dens and were never heard from again.
"Yeah." Aishe smiled slightly, his eyes distant with memory. "What I wouldn't give to hear her voice again."
I felt for him. Empathy was not my strong suit, and yet I felt his pain. I mourned with him. I looked away in shock and a little fear. I covered my mouth with my hand and wondered what was happening to me.
Aishe began to talk to me. He told some stories about his childhood, and it was the first time we were in each other's company without anger between us. I found myself wanting to listen and adding my own thoughts now and then, and he accepted them. I also found myself laughing at the antics he pulled as a child.
"Well, I really wanted that bo
w. In fact, it's this one." He held his long bow up proudly. "It's been in the family for generations and was always passed from father to son, but since I had three other brothers there was no guarantee that I would get it. I wasn't even the oldest or the smartest or the quickest. So I convinced my sister, who told me I was her favorite brother, to dress up as the Mother and visit our father at night, and he would think he was dreaming."
I grinned in anticipation and found myself forgetting about the mission we were on, just enjoying the joy and amusement in his voice.
"So, I told her what to say and stood outside the hut as Amyla went inside, all painted up and decked out in the gown the Mother was sometimes said to wear. She spoke as the Mother would, and I watched our father talk to her. We both thought we had succeeded. But then a week passed, and I still didn't have the bow. When I was planning to play the same trick again, my father cornered me and slapped the back of my head."
I winced but chuckled. Aishe smiled over his memory. "Yes, he knew it was all a fake, and he told me he had been waiting for me to confess and to make amends. I was ashamed of course, but more than that, I was angry that my trick hadn't worked. He told me the Mother wouldn't be pleased with my mocking of her, and he gave me a huge lecture about respect, dignity, and honor."
Aishe paused and stroked the bow, and I saw the grief but also the love he had for his family.
"But after the lecture, and when I was full of shame, my father put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. With pride."
I glanced up at Aishe, and he was gazing at me with a joy in his eyes. "He said he was proud to have such a determined and clever son. Even if my plan hadn't worked, I knew what I wanted and was determined to get it, no matter what it took. He said I was a lot like him when he was that age."
I could see that meant a lot to him, and I wished I knew how that felt.
"Anyway, my father never made a decision about the bow. I found it and took it when I came back home after..."