by Natalie Dean
“Jack?”
He turned to look at her over his shoulder. His eyes were red and tired. Guilt settled in her belly, and she cleared her throat. “I feel like I should--.”
“Apologize?”
“Yes.”
He put his hand on his knee and stood up, grunting softly before turning to look at her. “You’re right. You should, but I think I ought to first.”
Her brows furrowed as he motioned for them to go outside. She followed him, taking in the beauty of the rising sun. It was one of the few good things about being in this no man’s land. There was no smog or buildings to block her view of the golden sunrise. Pink and yellow streaks dotted the landscape as the sun pulled itself over the tops of the distant mountains.
Jack sat on the steps that led up to the house and Bridget did the same. “I’m sorry, Bridget. I know I haven’t been the easiest to deal with, but I hope you understand that it is not you. It’s the circumstances.”
“What do you mean?” Bridget asked, brows furrowed.
Jack took a deep breathe in and out. “My wife didn’t run away. She died of consumption.”
Bridget’s hand went to her full lips, and her eyes widened. “Jack…I didn’t--.”
“I know you didn’t know.”
“Why did Roan say she went away?”
“Because I couldn’t tell her the truth, Bridget. She’s just a little girl,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “She doesn’t understand death, and I didn’t want to scare her or make her even sadder. One day I’ll be able to tell her the truth, but not today. I want her to be able to be happy and live a good life. There are so many children here who don’t have parents. This land is so unforgiving,” he sighed, looking out onto the horizon. “I didn’t want her to end up alone. I really was afraid that something might happen to me. I was sure that…”
Bridget sighed and reached down, touching his shoulder gently. “You don’t have to say anything else.”
“I want to. I’ve been holding it in,” Jack said, licking his lips. He had a slight tremble in his voice. He cleared his throat and dropped his head. “I was afraid that something would happen to me. I was afraid I’d get sick, and then Roan would have no one. I loved my wife. I loved her more than anything. I wasn’t looking for a physical relationship when I sent for you. I wasn’t even looking for love,” he sighed and rubbed his face a little. “I was looking for someone to care for my daughter if anything ever happened to me.”
Bridget was quiet, and that was a feat. She wasn’t a quiet woman, and she never had been, but this time she felt it was necessary. Jack had a lot on his chest, and he needed to get it off. She didn’t mind being the shoulder he leaned on. Finally, she smiled and touched his arm.
“You’re a good father, and I’m sure you were a good husband as well.”
He nodded and sighed, taking his hat off and setting it to the side. His thick hair tumbled out and hung around his chin. Bridget couldn’t stop herself from pushing it out of his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said the things I did.”
“It’s all right.” He said, licking his lips. “You didn’t know.”
“That isn’t really any excuse. I shouldn’t have said it. It was rude, and I was lashing out.”
They were silent for a moment, and Jack ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, I want to make this work. I want Roan to be happy, and I want her to have a real family. Life here isn’t easy, and I know that when she’s older, she’ll have a hard life. A lot of kids around here already do. I know kids who are barely ten, and they’re already working on farms for food. I don’t want that life for her.”
“She’s going to be happy, Jack. She has a good dad and I know I haven’t had the best attitude, but I’m willing to change. This is my life, now.”
“Are you okay with it?”
She smiled sadly and shrugged. “I’m a bit homesick, but there’s nothing for me in London. I left it behind because I needed a new start and this is definitely new.” She smiled and leaned into him. “You’re a good-looking man, Jack and you’re kind. I know I’ve been a handful, but I’m done with that now.”
He chuckled but wrapped an arm around her, giving her a squeeze and holding her close. “I’ll miss your wild attitude,” he said. “Maybe you could be just a little bit of a handful?’
She laughed and leaned into him, enjoying the warmth that radiated off his strong body. “I’ll try. Just for you.”
Chapter Eight
Things were far more settled after that. Bridget decided to make the best of her situation, and Jack was forgiving of the fact that she really didn’t know what she was doing. She was trying, and that was really all that mattered to him.
It was a bright, sunny day and they were walking through the market. It only came around on Saturday and people from all over the territories would set up shop and sell their goods. Mari had told Bridget about it, but she’d yet to go. Whenever she brought it up to Jack, he would get nervous and avoid the subject. She didn’t understand why but didn’t push her luck for a long time. After all, they’d just recently gotten back on each other’s good sides, and she didn’t want to mess that up.
Her patience finally paid off, and Jack caved. That was how she found herself wandering up and down the aisles of carts that were parked on the main street. Roan was on her hip, giggling and chewing on a piece of candy that Bridget had bought her.
“Are you enjoying your snack, Angel?” she asked, brushing Roan’s dark hair from her face.
Roan nodded and bounced happily. “Yes! It’s yummy!”
Bridget chuckled and just kept moving forward, humming to herself and looking at the goods the merchants were selling. Jack had wandered off at some point, but she wasn’t sure where to. She stopped at a stall selling golden watches and smiled, picking one up and turning it over in her hands. There were engravings of powerful horses on etched into the metal, and it reminded her of Jack. He loved his horses, and he always looked so happy when he was caring for them.
“Sir?” she called, waving a delicate hand.
An elderly man came over and offered her a warm smile. “How can I help you, miss?”
“I’d like to buy this watch.”
“Oh! That’s a nice one! Your husband will love it, I’m sure.”
It was the first time that someone had called Jack her husband and it caught her off guard. She blinked a little and took a step back, suddenly being reminded that she was a married woman now. It had almost escaped her completely.
“Ah…Right.”
The merchant glanced at her curiously, but wrapped it up in paper and handed it to her. She paid and thanked him, tucking it away as she walked over to the fruit stands. They grew plenty of vegetables in their garden, but fruit was harder to come by, and Bridget had a wicked sweet tooth.
“Is that watch for daddy?” Roan asked as Bridget set her on the ground.
“It is, but don’t tell him. It’s a surprise.”
A smile spread across Roan’s chubby cheeks, and her eyes lit up. “I’ll keep it a secret!”
Bridget chuckled and gave her a pat on the head. “Good girl.”
She turned to the stand and started to pick out firm, ripe fruits, and as she did, the wind picked up. Sand blew around her ankles, swirling and blowing the fabric stall covers. Roan cried out as the wind picked her hat up and blew it away. The pink ribbon danced in the wind and Roan’s chubby fingers reached for it but came up short so she ran after it instead.
The wind carried the hat to the posts where the horses were tied up, and it fell just under the horse’s powerful hooves. Roan ran after it and ducked under the horses, reaching for her hat. Bridget’s eyes widened, and she ran after the little girl, watching in horror as the horses started to snort and shake their heads and stomp their hooves. Roan was oblivious to the danger, focused on the hat. She wanted to call out to the little girl, but she was afraid she might scare the horses even more.
Bridget’s heart was pounding in h
er chest when she finally reached Roan, her eyes wide. She reached out and grabbed the little girl around the waist, yanking her out from under the horses just as a hoof came down right where little Roan’s head had been and another crushed the hat.
“ROAN!”
“Mama! My hat!”
She cradled Roan to her chest, her hand on the back of Roan’s head as she squeezed the little girl a bit too tight. “What in the world do you think you were doing!”
“I just wanted my hat,” her voice was soft as if she knew she’d done something wrong.
“Don’t you ever do that again!” Her voice was high and her accent thick in her fear. “Don’t you realize you could have gotten hurt? Even killed?”
“I’m sorry, mommy,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around Bridget.
She just held Roan close, trying to calm herself down. Over the last few months, she’d come to love the little girl dearly, and the thought of her getting hurt ate at Bridget’s soul. She was finally starting to calm down when a strong hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her away from the horses, forcing her to turn around.
Soon she was facing a red-faced man with thick hands and a round belly. He was the same man who she’d been purchasing fruits from just a moment ago.
“Let me go! How dare you grab a lady!” She wanted to smack him, but he had one arm in a tight grip, and the other was holding Roan, and there was no way she was going to let the little girl go.
The man snarled and yanked her closer, his eyes wild with rage. “You’re no lady! You’re a thief! I don’t even know why I’m surprised! All you foreigners are here to take advantage of the hard work we do!”
Bridget was shocked at the anger and hatred that dripped from his words like poison. She tried to pull away from him, but his grip on her arm was too tight. “I didn’t steal anything!”
He reached out with his other meaty hand and grabbed the bag she was holding, yanking it out of her hands, shaking it in her face. “You ran off with this!”
“My daughter was going to get hurt! I was going to pay for it!”
“Sounds like a scheme to me!” he spat. “All you mail order brides are always scheming!”
People had started to gather around now and were whispering, watching the scene unfold. Bridget felt helpless at that moment. Roan was starting to cry, and her own wrist was beginning to ache. She wanted this man to let her go, but she wasn’t sure what she should do. Jack was nowhere to be found, so Bridget was on her own.
Finally, she kicked her leg back and swung it forward, hitting the man right in the shin with the tip of her boot. He howled and stumbled back, but didn’t let go. He was panting hard, his eyes wide when he looked up at her. He dropped the bag of fruit and raised his free hand, and Bridget closed her eyes, hiding Roan against her and waiting for the hand to come down on her cheek, but it never did.
The hand released her, and the man howled all at once, and Bridget stumbled back a few steps but managed to stay upright. When she finally opened her eyes again, she saw Jack with the man’s arm, twisting it until the man was on his knees. Jack was calm, his eyes as cold as ice as he stared down at the hulking man.
“Now, Willam, you know you don’t lay your hands on women. What makes you think you can get away with touching my wife?”
The man hissed when Jack twisted his arm even further. “She was stealing, Jack!”
Jack glanced over his shoulder, his face calm, and his eyes intense. “Where you trying to steal, darling?”
“No! Roan ran off, and I was going after her!”
Jack turned back to Willam. “Sounds like she gave you a perfectly good explanation.”
“She’s lying!”
Willam suddenly cried out as his arm was bent a little too far back and his shoulder popped out. Jack didn’t flinch. “It sounds to me like you have a problem with the fact that she’s not from around here. It seems like you were just waiting for her to do something and I don’t appreciate that. She’s a good woman. How much do we owe you for the fruit?”
“Nothing!” he yelped. “You don’t owe me nothing!”
“That’s not how this works. Tell me what we owe.”
“A dollar! A dollar fifty!”
Jack released William and dipped his hand into his pocket, tossing some coins onto the ground. “If you ever lay a hand on my family again, I’ll cut it off, do you understand?”
“Yes.” Willam panted, cradling his arm.
Jack nodded and walked over to Roan and Bridget, putting his arm around them and leading them back to the small cart they’d come on. Jack had already loaded up some supplies and Bridget climbed in the back with Roan, holding her close and stroking her hair. There were still tears in the little girl’s eyes. She was upset about her hat and all the commotion, and Bridget couldn’t blame her.
After all, she was upset too.
Chapter Nine
They rode home in silence and when they finally got there, Roan scrambled up into her loft, and Jack offered his hand to Bridget. “Come with me.”
Bridget followed him out of the house, and together they walked through the garden before sitting at the edge of a little brook that ran through their property. Bridget didn’t have much to say, which was a strange thing, but she couldn’t help it. Luckily, Jack was there to break the silence.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. A little shaken up.”
“Good.”
Another short silence and Bridget drew in a long sigh. “Do people in town not like me because I’m British?”
“There are a lot of people in this town that don’t like anyone if they’re different. They target them and try and chase them out.”
“Is that why everyone has been so cold to me?”
“I’d say so.”
Bridget grunted and put her chin in her hand. “That’s not fair. I’m a good person.”
Jack smiled and put an arm around her as a warm breeze blew through the trees. Branches rattled, and a few leaves fell into Bridget’s hair. Jack smiled and reached up, pulling the leaves from her hair and letting the wind take them.
“You’re a great person, Bridget. That’s why we get along.”
Her lips were drawn into a tight frown. “Jack, I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy here.”
“What? I didn’t know you were feeling that way.”
“I…I don’t fit in here. I came here to start a new life. I owed so much money back home, and I thought the only way to escape it and be happy was to come here, but I just…I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen. When I’m here, at home, I’m content, but when I go out into town, I feel the stares and hear the whispers behind my back.”
Jack fell silent and listened, his eyes focused on the ground as if he were looking for answers in the earth. Finally, he sighed and looked up, reaching out slowly and taking her hand. Their fingers tangled and she looked up at him, her heart swelling at the warmth in his hands. She’d just watched him single-handedly take down a man almost double his size, yet he was tender with her.
“I never thought I’d be happy again either. When my wife passed away, I felt that a part of my soul had been yanked out and taken from me. I was bitter. I was angry at everyone and everything, even though it wasn’t anyone’s fault. I felt this need to lash out and make everyone suffer the way I was suffering. It took me a long time to learn to control those emotions and when the anger finally started to fade, it was replaced with fear. I was afraid that I would be taken next and my daughter would be left alone. That fear led me to send for you, and when you got here, I felt angry again because it was validation that my life would never be what it was.” He paused and sighed, looking over at her. “Now, though, there’s still sadness, but there’s no anger. I’m starting to feel like a person again, and I’m starting to even feel the first inklings of happiness. You make me laugh, and it’s something I haven’t done in a long time.”
“Jack…”
> “I’m sorry if you aren’t happy here. I want you to be happy. I really do. I hope you know that, and I will do whatever I can to make sure you are.”
Bridget leaned into his shoulder and looked out onto the horizon. “Maybe I’ll eventually be happy here. Maybe I just need to give it more time.”
“Are you willing to?”
“I don’t have much of a choice. I certainly can’t make it back home. I don’t have the money.”
Jack didn’t say anything in response to that. He just looked away, and Bridget glanced up, turning her head to rest her forehead against his shoulder. “I’m glad I don’t have the money. It’ll give me more time to get used to this. I’ve had a bad habit of running away from my problems my entire life. This is good. I’m finally going to have to confront what I’m feeling, and it’s scary, but at least it’s with someone like you.”
The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. She felt like she was bearing her soul to this man and she’d be lying if she said it was anything short of terrifying. She’d never been the type of person to wear her emotions on her sleeve, but with Jack, it was just so easy. Everything was easy with Jack.
“That means a lot, Bridget.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
The silence that followed was comfortable. They leaned into each other, listening to the birds chirp overhead and watching as clouds danced across the sky like pieces of cotton floating on the wind. Jack sighed and smiled, glancing at Bridget.
“It’s been a rough day. We shouldn’t stay in the house tonight. Let’s get out and enjoy each other’s company.”
Her brows pulled together in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Jack grinned and stood up, putting his hands on his hips. “Don’t you worry about that. Just put on a pretty dress after dinner.”
Chapter Ten
Bridget had no idea what was going on, but she didn’t ask any questions. There was a secretiveness to whatever they were doing, and it excited her. Their daily lives were mundane, and while she enjoyed her evenings with Jack, she wasn’t going to say no to something a little more exciting.