Not Myself: Poetry From the Other Side of Me

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by Elsha Hawk


Not Myself

  Poetry From the other Side of Me

  Copyright 2010 ElshaHawk

  Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form.

  Table of Contents

  You Had A bad Day

  Size Matters

  Sunny Day

  Where Poets Come From

  State of the Union

  Soul Mate

  Friends: Not the TV Show

  I Believe

  Ode to Peaches

  Ruthie May

  You Said

  Behind the Door

  Ignite Jealousy in the Halls

  Wilted Flower

  Revenge

  Favorites and Fears in One Song

  Shower Scene

  Missile

  One Hit Wonder

  However

  Hostile

  Not Myself

  Giving Up and Letting Go

  Little Brother

  The Place Between Asleep and Awake

  Missed Opportunity

  You Had A Bad Day

  your alarm clock went off and your body said “sleep”

  your coffee spilled all over your feet

  your shirt was buttoned one button off

  your dog chewed on one of your crocs

  your great idea went up in smoke

  your muse slept in and never woke

  your lunch was stale and still half frozen

  your lotto numbers weren’t chosen

  your movie date was postponed

  your battery died on your cell phone

  your dinner burned a charcoal black

  your athlete’s foot is coming back

  your ebay auction never sold

  your enemy was just paroled

  your mail was all ‘return to sender’

  your heart is ready to surrender

  your head hit the pillow, finally

  your nightmare stung you like a bee

  your sheets are soaked through with sweat

  your day hasn’t gotten better yet

  your clock strikes midnight, all is calm

  your new day starts, a soothing balm

  Size Matters

  If I were taller..

  I could reach the second shelf in the cabinets

  I could dunk a basketball

  I could write at the top of the chalkboard

  I could hoist a child on my shoulders for a better view

  I could shop in the Misses section

  I could drive all models of vehicles comfortably

  But I’d have a good view of the dirt on top of the fridge

  I’d have to duck under low door frames

  And people would always ask me to get things down

  I would miss being able to rescue a terrified kid from the McDonald’s Playland

  I would miss reaching into small spaces

  I would miss climbing onto the roof of the van to strap down luggage

  I couldn’t rest my head on my hubby’s chest near his heart

  I couldn’t fit in the tent with my kids

  I couldn’t grow anymore anyway, so I guess,

  I’ll stay short

  Sunny Day

  Do you remember

  Chasing the clouds away?

  All we really needed

  Was a sun-ny day!

  You and I

  We’re the best of friends

  You and I

  Know where the sun lives!

  We ran and ran

  Sang loud and long

  We found the sun

  There all along!

  Do you remember

  Chasing the clouds away?

  All we really needed

  Was a sun-ny day!

  You and I

  Were never alone

  You and I

  Vanilla ice cream cones!

  We grew and grew

  Fought and made up

  We loved and lost

  In time we forgot

  Do you remember

  Chasing the clouds away?

  All we really needed

  Was a sun-ny day!

  You and I

  We’re the best of friends

  You and I

  Know where the sun lives!

  Do you remember

  Chasing the clouds away?

  All we really needed

  Was a sun-ny day!

  Where Poets Come From

  Behind the gossamer curtain

  Beneath the azure veil

  You’ll find a quiet beauty

  In exquisite detail

  You’ll hold your breath to gaze upon it

  You’ll take in the scents with your eyes

  The scene beheld is beyond words

  Sweet music touches the skies

  Poetry is wild here

  Growing hither and thither

  There inside this hollowed ground

  A single flower withers

  The dried petals wisk away

  And a tear is shed for its loss

  That single drop ingredient

  Births a poet from the moss

  State of the Union

  What’s up with people?

  Don’t know how to play nice

  Whining to the boss

  ‘Bout your petty price

  How you don’t like so and so

  So you want them canned

  Fired

  Expelled

  Cuz the World

  Revolves Around You

  It’s a frickin’ pissin’ contest

  You want to always be right

  You give no examples

  No reasons for his plight

  Fired

  Expelled

  Cuz the World

  Revolves Around You

  Corporate america

  Is not based on work

  Not based on Ability

  Nor skillz like a clerk

  It’s a popularity contest

  Impress, Dressed the Best

  And you’ll excell

  But do what you’re told and you’re

  Fired

  Expelled

  ’Cuz the World

  Revolves Around Them

  Soul Mate

  You know what T-shirt I like best

  My favorite color too

  And when I cry silently

  You know exactly what to do

  You know when it’s my birthday

  The right amount of fuss to make

  You feel so happy for me

  Every triumphal step I take

  When I’m being stupid

  You’re not afraid to tell me

  When I’m working through it

  You guide me very gently

  At times when I break down

  You try to calm the storm

  Time changes things outside

  But together, anywhere is home

  It’s not the feelings I show outside

  But the ones behind the eyes

  That really matter to a soul mate

  Connected by strong ties

  You know when to push me

  You know when to pull

  I needed you for so long

  To make my heart feel full

  Sometimes I take you for granted

  Forgetting about times gone

  Before my heart was content

  Before you brought the dawn

  So this is a reminder to me

  To make each day with you

  A picture perfect H
allmark moment

  Before our time is through

  I could never love another

  The same as I do you

  Who could know me as well?

  No one, Soul Mate, but you.

  Friends: Not the TVShow

  Friends

  Not the TV show

  The people you know

  Who care about you

  And your life

  Friends

  Who love you anyway

  Fight for you any day

  Who argue with you

  And take offense

  Friends

  Who come back and say

  They still love you anyway

  And your friendship grows

  Much deeper

  Friends

  May live near or far

  Would take boat, train, or car

  To see that you have

  A good day

  Friends

  More valuable than gems

  Worth more than the world of men

  Because they love you

  As you do them

  I Believe

  I believe in rainy days that soak in deep to nourish at the root

  I believe in rainbows of paper butterflies swaying above my head in childish glee

  I believe in ice cream sundaes that melt fast in the sun leaving sticky puddles of joy

  I believe in harmonies that make angels weep for their beauty

  I believe in vanilla and lavender bubble baths of pure silent bliss

  Ode to Peaches

  Peaches

  soft and fuzzy

  yellow mixed with orange

  Peaches

  when underripe

  are hard and bitter

  Peaches

  when overripe

  are soft and messy

  Peaches

  when just right

  are sweet and juicy

  running down your chin

  drops of succulent bliss

  round, full, fruits waiting

  for you to bite in

  Ruthie May

  “I’m too tired to write today,”

  Said Ruthie May to her teacher.

  “I was up all night,

  Mom and Dad had a fight!

  Dad had a lesson to teach her!”

  “I hid under the covers and cried.

  Dad found me and said I was dreamin’.

  He tucked me in,

  covers up to my chin,

  But I stayed awake through the screamin’.

  “They argued and fought all night.

  They broke dishes and threw chairs.

  But I was okay,

  My room’s far away,

  I just listened under my teddy bears.”

  Ruthie May walked to the school nurse.

  She laid down on a thick foam cot.

  They woke her for lunch,

  On pizza she did munch,

  Then by the counselor she was sought.

  Her story went into a report.

  She begged her Mom and Dad not to know.

  Then went back to class,

  With a written hall pass,

  And gathered her work to go home.

  That night red and blue lights danced

  Across her wall as she quietly stared.

  A cop carried her out.

  Silent tears began to spout.

  Ruthie May pretended not be scared.

  You Said

  You said my eyes were like diamonds;

  I smelled alluring

  You said my first date was also yours;

  I looked ravishing

  You said you’d only kissed once before;

  I was your soul mate

  You said you’d never look at any other;

  I was all you needed

  You know what?

  I’m so glad you speak truthfully!

  You are my best friend;

  Always will be!

  Behind the Door

  I’d passed this wall

  A million times

  As I wandered in the dark

  Never before

  Had I noticed this door

  The crack below lit with light

  I pushed upon it

  See if it would budge

  Still unsure if I wanted to go

  The door swung

  Too easily it seemed

  Too good to be true as well

  I knew at once

  This was my home

  Where I was meant to be

  Ignite Jealousy in the Halls

  “That’s when I saw them, her arm wrapped around his waist and a smirk of pure sass thrown back over her shoulder, daring the school to challenge her conquest of the King.”

  Wilted Flower

  Robbed of moisture, the flower droops.

  Light petals once soft and pliable are now brittle and dry.

  The bright color long faded to dark hues of its former glory.

  Gravity pulls the weighty head down and tugs petals loose from the stem.

  The flower is spent.

  Dry crumbly flakes fall like tears, forgotten memories of days past.

  Such a short existence,

  fleeting beauty,

  gone before its time,

  plucked,

  fragrant,

  then spoiled.

  What does the flower think of itself?

  Is it proud to have given itself for a cause?

  Or does it feel its life was wasted and cut short?

  Gravity pulls the weighty head down and tugs petals loose from the stem.

  The flower is spent.

  Revenge

  Locked and loaded

  Cradled in my arm

  No time for apologies

  Only your harm

  You stole my girl

  Took her in my own bed

  Steel cold and hard

  Pointing at your head

  No time for words

  Trigger finger itchin’

  Hear her scream

  See your body twitchin’

  Brains on her face

  Blood on the covers

  Revenge is sweet

  Breaking up two lovers

  Favorites and Fears in One Song

  Gables on houses

  Gazeboes in gardens

  White calla lilies

  And long picket fences

  Rainbow like scales on saltwater fish

  These are a few of my favorite things!

  When the tires pop,

  When the wasps sting

  When a twister comes,

  I simply remember my favorite things

  And then I don’t feel so bad!

  Post-it note papers

  Comp’sition book pages

  Pen and ink doodles

  For more inspiration

  Dolphins that swim with the moon on their fins

  These are a few of my favorite things!

  When my stuff breaks

  When I cough and ache

  When I’m feeling sad,

  I simply remember my favorite things

  And then I don’t feeeeel sooooo baaaad!

  Shower Scene

  Rush of water full of noise

  cascading, ricocheting, refracting

  Wisps of vapor curling high

  Blurring, obscuring, enveloping

  Fresh clean scent of Ivory soap

  Wafting, invigorating, enticing

  Single translucent shower curtain

  revealing, concealing, alluring

  Sharp intake of breath escapes

  unnoticed, uninhibited, desired

  Missile

  I waited in the darkness

  Still

  Quiet

  I felt a rumbling

  Awake

  Light

  I was born into the cruel world

  Flying

  Fast

  I have a singular purpose

  Controlled
<
br />   Directed

  I aim for my goal, unwavering.

  Target

  Impact

  I feel nothing as I leave this world

  Heat

  Explosion

  And my short existence has made an impact

  Justified

  Satisfied

  Though others may hate my life, not understanding, it was mine to live.

  One Hit Wonder

  Never gonna be another one hit wonder

  Gonna tear the world records all asunder

  Gonna tear the roof up off this place

  Gonna hear my name shouted out from space

  Others may think they got the groove

  But only one writer comes up smooth

  Swift with the talkin

  Quick with the walkin

  Climbing up charts

  Winning up hearts

  You boys so nasty with the bellyache’n

  Give’n me fits and start my headache’n

  I’m gonna tromp and tread

  Climbing over your head

  On my way up outta down here

  Cleaner air up in the atmosphere

  Moving to the top

  I just can’t stop

  Never gonna be another one hit wonder

  Gonna tear the world records all asunder

  Gonna tear the roof up off this place

  Gonna hear my name shouted out from space

  All this bellyache’n won’t get you there

  Clear my headache’n up above your stare

  Lookin’ down at you from my throne on high

  No pity for the fools who bicker and cry

  Zap with lightning

  Thunder frightening

  Kissin’ Zeus, sharing with Hera

  Olympus grooves to Elsha’s flare-a PEACE

  However

  I put on a show, however no one sees.

  A third of the earth is land, however two thirds sea.

  I wear a sundress, however it might rain.

  The soul is cloudy, however the body feels no pain.

  I carry an umbrella, however the sun’s bright.

  I wear clothes, however my heart’s naked in broad daylight.

  The world goes round, however time is a line.

  I love you, however you can’t be mine.

  Odd is a feeling, however temporary.

  Cold despises hot, however they are married.

  A quandry, however a simple answer would do.

  The mystery is solved, however I haven’t a clue.

  You feel love, however it breaks your heart.

  They will come back, however they must depart.

  Chickens come first, however, so do eggs.

  Life hatches plans, however death sucks them away.

  The world goes round, however time is a line.

  I love you, however you can’t be mine.

  Hostile

  I think I’m going to explode.

  I’ve got to get out of here, right now.

  The environment is making me claustrophobic. I can’t breathe.

  I am so upset I just want to scream.

  But I can’t.

  I’m trapped in this tiny space.

  There is so much me and it’s all crammed in.

  I can’t even move.

  The anger is going to kill me, boiling over.

  I desire so much to get out of this sarcophagus, this tomb, this shell.

  To be a locust, oh how I wish I were.

  Surrounded by people who don’t care, who don’t even know.

  How I feel.

  I feel everything and I want out, NOW.

 

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