by Claire Angel
That was not how I saw my future playing out. Not at all!
Fed up and pissy, I went home. Carl eyeballed me but didn’t ask any questions. He simply drove me home and waited around for me in case I needed him again.
I was home for about an hour when the gatehouse called.
I heard Olivia talking to the security guard. Then she knocked on my study door and said there was a woman at the gate asking for me. My heart skipped a beat. I wondered why Jayde was at the gate.
“Who is it?” I asked her.
“Sam says her name is Fiona. Shall I ask them to let her in?”
Fiona! What the hell was she doing at the gate? She was the last person I expected to see.
“Um, yeah, okay. Please ask Sam to let her in. Bring her to the living room, please, Olivia.”
“Will do. Are you sure you want to see her, Aidan?”
Olivia was no fan of Fiona’s. We had a history, Fiona and me.
“Yes, I’m sure. Thanks, Olivia.”
She disappeared and a few minutes later, I heard her talking to someone. Fiona walked into the living room. She looked well. She was a beautiful woman. It was a pity her heart was black as coal.
“Hello, Fiona.”
“Hi, Aidan.”
“What can I do for you?”
“Now is that any way to greet an old friend?” She smiled.
“What do you want, Fiona?”
Chapter 22
JAYDE
The chapel was packed with family and friends. The police force made up half of the mourners, validating my Mom’s point of not wanting to try and convince any of his fellow officers that he was a lowlife.
My father’s parents were both dead—probably died of shame—and Mom’s father had Parkinson’s, so he wasn’t there either. My father’s brothers and his sister were there, a horrible collection of mean shits, and Aunt Becky was the only one of Mom’s sisters who pitched up. To be fair, they all hated my father, and, like me, couldn’t understand why she never left him.
Only Aunt Becky knew the truth. She was my Mom’s rock throughout the years. I owed her a debt of gratitude, and I planned to make it right.
“Oh, Hannah, you must be devastated. If there’s anything we can do for you, please let me know.” The police captain’s wife was a sweet woman. She was none the wiser when it came to my father, the great Detective Miller, a hero to all but his family.
“That’s very kind of you, Mia, but I’m fine.”
“Just know we’re thinking of you in your time of loss.” She gave my mother a hug, then walked away.
“Another one of Detective Miller’s fans?” I asked Mom.
“Yup, another one your father fooled with his smiley face and his cunning lies.”
“I find it hard to believe that no one knew the truth, Mom.”
“Your father was a master manipulator. His friends would swear up and down that he was a brilliant man.”
“It doesn’t say much for the quality of detectives at his precinct,” I sneered.
“I guess not,” Mom said.
“How long before this charade is over? I want to get the hell out of here.”
“Another hour then we’ll have seen the last of him, darling. I promise.”
The hour dragged on. After the chapel, we followed the hearse to the graveyard, where everyone stood around the grave, shedding their crocodile tears. A woman, dressed all in black, stood off to the side, away from everyone else. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she looked genuinely distraught.
“Who’s that?” I asked Mom as I pointed to her.
“That’s your father’s latest squeeze,” she said without batting an eyelid.
“His girlfriend? Are you serious?”
“Oh yes. He was quite the player until cancer took hold of him.”
“How many were there?”
“A steady stream. Not that I cared. At the very least, they kept him distracted. Less time with me, and more with them. I should go over there and thank her,” Mom said with a wicked smile.
“Wouldn’t that be something to see? I take it he didn’t abuse his whores.”
“Don’t be silly. He needed them to worship him.”
When, finally, they lowered my father’s casket into the ground, I breathed a sigh of relief. Not for myself, but for Mom. My father had been dead to me many years before he actually died. A cold thing I realized, but the sad truth.
After all the do-gooders were gone, I took Mom’s arm.
“Come on, Mom. Let’s go home.”
***
AIDAN
“Why are you here, Fiona? I’m not giving you any more money. You sucked the last bit of loose change out of me.”
“Well, the philanthropist lives on,” she sneered, sarcastically.
“Cut the shit, Fiona. What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything, but it’s good to know who my real friends are.”
“We are not friends, not anymore. In fact, I doubt we ever were. You lost that privilege when you betrayed me.”
“So needy, my love. So needy.”
“If expecting my fiance to be faithful is needy, then yes, I was very needy.”
She was thin and pale, totally unlike her. She smiled at me, but it was more of a sneer. Such hatred behind her eyes. How was it possible that she’d fooled me for so long? Was it ego on my part? I didn’t want to believe the stories I heard. My pride blinded me from the truth. “I’m here to say goodbye,” she carried on.
“Where are you going? And why would I care?”
“I have a one-way ticket to the sky.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m dying.”
I had such disdain for Fiona, but death was a punishment I didn’t wish on anyone. I stared at her in disbelief.
“Did you hear what I said, Adie?”
“I heard you. What’s wrong with you?”
“Liver cancer. I’ll be worm food very soon.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Fiona. Isn’t there anything they can do for you?”
“It’s too late for that, I’m afraid. Anyway, before you call a mariachi band, I wanted to ask you for one more thing.”
“And that is?”
“Forgiveness. I want your forgiveness.”
“Why? What difference will that make?”
“Let’s just say I’m on a crusade to make amends.”
“If my forgiveness will help you in any way, then yes. I forgive you, Fiona.”
“Thank you, Aidan.” She just stood there, looking at me. “I know you hate me, and frankly I can’t say I blame you. But I want you to know that I did have very strong feelings for you. It doesn’t make what I did acceptable in any way, but it’s the truth. I’m really sorry.”
“Thank you, Fiona. It means a lot. Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?” I asked the woman I once loved.
“I’m fine, thank you. I don’t have much time left. I’m living with my Mom and Jeremy. They’re taking good care of me. Goodbye, Aidan. Live well. Life is short.”
“I will. I’ll walk you out,” I said.
“That’s very decent of you. But then you always were a gentleman.”
Chapter 23
JAYDE
“This is yours now, Mom,” I said as I pulled up in front of a condo in a green, leafy, gated community.
“What did you do, Jayde?” she said, looking confused.
“It’s nothing special, Mom, but it’s paid for and it’s yours. All yours. Come on, let me show you around.”
Mom got out of the car slowly, staring at the condo, then around at the gardens and walkways.
“My darling,” she said.
I gave her the front door key, and she took it hesitantly.
“I hope you like it, Mom.”
We walked through the two-bedroom condo without a word said. I had my decorator over after I bought it and asked her to do her best job ever. I had to say the woman was a marvel
. The place looked stunning. Wallpaper, furniture, art, everything was perfect.
Mom turned to me with tears in her eyes. Her face was all I wanted to see. She deserved to be happy. I was glad I could do such a small thing for her.
“I can’t believe you did this for me, Jayde. I don’t know what to say.”
“How about, ‘let’s have coffee’? You’ve got a kick-ass Italian coffee maker over there in the kitchen. You’re gonna love it.” I smiled. I felt like a child watching Mom opening a Christmas present.
“Thank you, my love. Thank you.”
“Thank you, Mom. Thank you for giving me another chance.”
We spent most of the afternoon talking and crying. Feeling like we were on the right track was wonderful.
“I have to go, Mom. I’ll be by again tomorrow morning. Your clothes are in the closet, and your car in the garage.”
“What car?”
“The one I got you.”
“What? Why?”
“Well, how else will you drive to work every morning?”
“Work? What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t think I was going to let you sit around here and get old, did you? I need someone to help at the office. You’re a smart woman. I could always use a pair of critical eyes—you know, keep me grounded.”
“Okay, but you may be sorry. I can be a tough customer.” She smiled.
“Duh, living with my father for so many years more than qualifies you for the job.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“See you tomorrow, Mom. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I left my mom’s new condo on a high. I was so pleased that she liked it. It felt so good spoiling her. Who knew?
I knew that Aidan was back from the cabin. I felt bad about not thanking him for getting me back home from Aspen so quickly. I owed him that at least. He was a good person and a great friend. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t give me more than friendship. I was a big girl.
I drove to his house, thinking about the night we’d made love in front of the fireplace. It was special. We had such chemistry. It was worth every second.
When I got to the estate, Sam recognized me and waved me through.
“Thanks, Sam,” I said out of the window.
“Good to see you, Miss Miller.”
I made my way up the driveway, the beautiful trees welcoming me in. As I rounded the last corner, I saw Aidan standing at a car with a woman in his arms. They didn’t see me. I slowed down and stopped just far enough away for them not to notice me. I watched as he held her tightly, then he looked her in the eyes, and kissed her.
Nausea and anger unexpectedly rose up inside of me, flooding my senses, causing me immense physical pain. I had no idea why I had such a violent reaction to seeing him with another woman. He wasn’t mine. We were friends. That was my rational mind talking, but my heart was screaming at me to sneak away and lick my wounds somewhere away from Aidan Davis.
But it was too late. He looked up and saw me. His face went pale, and the woman in his arms looked around to see what he was staring at. She smiled when she saw me. Even though I was quite a distance off, I saw the satisfaction in her eyes. Bitch! Son of a bitch!
Aidan pushed her away and started toward me. I didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say. I turned my car around and sped off back to the guardhouse. I heard Aidan calling my name, but I ignored him and kept going. Sam saw me coming at speed and opened the gate. I flew out of there like a bat out of hell. I still had no logical explanation for my fury, but it was done. Aidan broke my heart.
***
AIDAN
The look on Jayde’s face when she saw me with Fiona told me what I needed to know, what I’d wished for so long. She would never have raced off the way she did if she felt nothing for me. But, once again, Murphy kicked me in the head, then circled back and kicked me in the ass. Despite the woman’s cruelty and betrayal, I didn’t wish her dead. My heart was heavy for her. I had to explain to her why I was saying goodbye to Fiona. I had to tell Jayde that I loved her and only her. That I’d loved her for two years.
Fiona smiled and left. It was ironic but even when she was trying to do the right thing, she managed to fuck me over. I went back into the house and grabbed my car keys. This was no time for a chauffeur, it was a one-man job.
I prayed that I’d be able to explain myself to Jayde. I hoped she would listen and believe me. After Kyle’s betrayal, I’d be lucky if she gave me the time of day. Fuck!
I drove straight to Jayde’s apartment. The security guard let me into the underground parking lot. He’s seen me with Jayde enough times to know that I wasn’t a crazed serial killer. I didn’t see her car, but I parked and went up to her apartment anyway.
I rang her doorbell. Then I knocked. I rang the bell one more time, just in case she was in the shower or something. Nothing. My heart was in my gut. I was afraid. I’d blown it. It was too late. Jayde would never believe me. Hell, I couldn’t blame her. It looked bad. I felt utterly dejected. I’d lost my love before she even knew how much I loved her. My Jayde was lost.
Epilogue
JAYDE
I drove around for hours. I couldn’t get the picture of Aidan kissing that woman out of my head. Every time I blinked I saw it. Then it hit me. I was in love with Aidan. Why hadn’t I seen it before? I never even suspected it. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I that self-obsessed that I missed all the cues? I’d always sworn up and down to myself that he was just a friend. Then why did I turn to him whenever I needed someone?
After Kyle left me broken and embarrassed, I trusted Aidan to nurse me back to emotional health. He was so patient, so kind. Such a ‘good friend’!
Well done, Jayde. Finally, someone who is worthy of your love, and you let him go. You really fucked up this time!
I thought to go around to Mom’s but she had enough on her plate. I called Gilly, but she was in a meeting. I couldn’t talk to Joey or Marco about it. We weren’t close enough for that. The only thing left to do was to go home, open a bottle of wine, and drink until I was numb.
I didn’t remember seeing anything on the way home. It was incredible how the subconscious took over during emotional trauma. I found myself in my parking space when I came to myself. I sat in my Mustang, staring at the steering wheel for a long while. Life was so odd. Just when you thought the puzzle pieces fit, the one crucial piece went missing.
My relationship with my mother was on track for the first time in my life. My business life was at an all-time high. Then, disaster. I felt sorry for myself, sitting there, but I didn’t care. I was tired of pulling myself up by the bootstraps. I wasn’t Superwoman. I was just Jayde, who needed love just like everyone else. But, alas, it seemed that fate had other ideas. I was destined to die alone, eaten by my dozens of cats. With a fucking tragedy. Shakespeare couldn’t have come up with a better plot. Fuck.
I headed for the elevator. It was time to get my drinking pants on.
***
AIDAN
Jayde stopped in her tracks when she saw me sitting on the tiles outside her apartment. She’d been crying. Her eyes were watery, and she had red dots on her forehead. I hated that I’d hurt her. I felt like a dick.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped.
“I have to talk to you,” I said.
“No, you don’t. You don’t owe me anything, Aidan. Obviously, I’d read the situation wrong. Sleeping with you in Aspen clearly meant more to me than it did to you. Please, just leave. I can only take so much humiliation. Let’s just call it a day, shall we?”
“You don’t understand, Jayde. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now. I’m sorry I’ve been too much of a coward to tell you sooner, but the time never seemed right. I wanted to tell you in Aspen but then your father died and I couldn’t be selfish.”
“Do I look like an idiot? I saw you. I saw you kissing that woman at your house. So much for loving me. Why would yo
u do that if you truly loved me, Aidan? You’re just like Kyle. Men are all fucking liars. Well, I’m done trusting you bastards. I’d rather be alone than a man’s fool.”
“Jayde, please listen to me.”
“No! Leave me alone.” Her eyes radiated hurt. I hated seeing her that way.
“I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out. It’s not what you think, Jayde. What you saw today was nothing more than a man saying goodbye to someone.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“That was Fiona.”
“Oh, great. Fiona who you were going to marry Fiona?”
“Yes.”
“I see. So you sleep with me, then you run back to your ex. That makes me feel much better, thank you. Oh, but wait. I guess we’re just friends, right? You don’t owe me anything. Now piss off!”
“No!” I held her arm and she slapped me. “Stop it.”
She squirmed and wriggled as she tried to break free from my grip. The only thing I could think to do was to kiss her beautiful mouth. She tried to push me away at first but I held on for dear life. After what seemed to be an eternity, she stopped fighting and melted into my arms.
When we stopped, I wiped the tears from her eyes and spoke to her softly.
“Please, listen to me, my love.”
“You’ve got one chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
“Fiona came to tell me she’s dying of liver cancer. She wanted my forgiveness for all the crappy things she did to me when we were engaged. I don’t have to give you the details. I told you almost everything she did to hurt me. But she’s dying, Jayde, and I couldn’t send her away without honoring her request. When I kissed her, it was a goodbye kiss, nothing more.”
“What?”
“I love you, Jayde. I’ve loved you for two years. There’s nobody else. There never has been and there never will be. Being with you in Aspen was the most amazing experience of my life. I didn’t know how you felt about me, so I didn’t push. I wanted to tell you the next day, but you’d left.”