by Brina Brady
“He needs some space, and I understand that. Normally, I’d allow him to do things on his own, but not right now with this situation,” Andrew said.
“I hope he doesn’t get too upset over Sam again. Charlie said Jesse seemed much happier.”
“I’m sure it will hurt when he realizes that bastard didn’t give a shit about him. I’m trying to make it up to him.” Andrew paused and took a sip from his beer. “We’re going horseback riding next week. Would you and Charlie like to come?”
“Yes. Sounds like a great idea,” Jake said.
“What’s a good idea?” Malik returned from the kitchen with napkins.
“We’re going horseback riding on the weekend,” Jake said.
“I’m working, unlike the boss who never shows up at his own club,” he said as he grinned at Andrew. “But the compensation makes it worth it. I’m not complaining.”
The three boys carried out the food to the table, and within minutes, Jake set the steak platter on the table. Jesse sat beside Andrew, who dropped his hand below the table and ran it along Jesse’s thigh.
“Missed you, Jesse,” Andrew whispered in his ear.
“You did?” Jesse had that sparkle in his eyes that went straight to Andrew’s heart.
“Um. I’ll show you tonight.”
“I think we need another theme night at the club,” Malik said.
“What did you have in mind?” Andrew asked.
“Let’s have another puppy night where we leash our pups. We can create new games for them to compete in.”
“That’s your idea?” Jake asked
“I think it sounds like fun,” Jesse said.
“I want to go,” Chen said.
“Me too,” Charlie said.
“Okay, how about in two weeks?” As Andrew spoke the two words two weeks, his stomach tightened. What if Jesse decided to leave at the end of the two weeks? The idea of facing every day without Jesse depressed him in a way he hadn’t expected. Stop this loser thinking. He wouldn’t make it through the next two weeks if he allowed negative thoughts. The misery of struggling to entice Jesse into staying with him needed no aggravation, but he had to limit Jesse’s freedom for his own protection. Unfortunately, his impatience was triggered when he had the goal of keeping Jesse as his sub and realized it was going to cost him more effort than he’d thought to reach it. He was up to the challenge but also pissed off because of it. Then again, if Sam hadn’t left Jesse, he wouldn’t have met Jesse. So, he had to be ready to fight for him.
Later, when they were home, they sat down in the kitchen.
“I have something unpleasant to discuss with you,” Andrew said.
“Did I do something wrong again, Sir?”
“No. This is about Sam. Remember I told you that I had someone looking for him?”
Jesse nodded. “Did your friend find him?”
“Yes. He’s in New York. I have his phone number. Do you want to call him?”
“I don’t know. I did want to find out why he left me, but now I don’t know if I could take any more bullshit from him. How is he stalking us if he is in New York?”
“That’s the other problem. My friend, Nico, said he’d look into Ben and Carmen.”
“Are you saying Sam isn’t the one stalking me?”
“I found out something else about Sam. I hesitate to mention it, but you told me you don’t want me to keep things from you.”
“Tell me, Sir.” The glint in his eyes revealed a world of darkness, even though he tried to hide it with a fake smile.
Andrew didn’t want to be the instrument to enhance his pain and it was painful to watch Jesse suffer endlessly. All he could do was embrace him and let the torrent of his tears fall. Andrew imagined Jesse silently screaming, suffocating with each breath he had taken, and holding onto what pride he had left. Andrew leaned across the table and ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm the silent war within him.
“He’s living on his family estate and seeing a woman.”
Jesse nodded. “Sam is bisexual. I guess he wanted to return to the straight life to please his family.”
“I didn’t know that about Sam.” Strange, Jesse wasn’t a bit surprised about Sam living with a woman, but he had pushed his feelings about Sam not coming for him away. How much did Jesse keep inside? The one thing he wanted from Jesse was for him to feel free to tell him his feelings, whether they were good or bad. He needed to feel safe at all times in his presence.
“Yes, he was estranged from his wife. Actually he told me he left New York to get away from her. I’m sure his father offered him money to return, as he had done many times when we were together.”
“Did you know he was married when he collared you?” Andrew took his phone out and messaged Sam’s information to Jesse.
“No, he told me a year later. That’s when the phone calls from his father started coming.”
“I’ve sent you Sam’s phone number and address. I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
“Thank you, Sir. I appreciate all that you’ve done for me.”
“We have one more matter to discuss. It’s your safety. During the time you are attending school, I’m hiring a guard to keep an eye on you. Not because I don’t trust you, but because there are too many variables during the day while I’m working. You’ll never see him. He’ll be around you, not beside you. I’ll introduce you to him at the club. He’s a Dom.”
“Is that really necessary, Sir? I can take care of myself.”
“Who has the last word in decisions around here?”
“You do, Sir. I don’t mean to be disrespectful or ungrateful, but if Sam is in New York, what’s there to worry about?”
“I suppose you’ve forgotten about what happened to you on the beach. Sam was in New York then too. This topic is closed.”
“Yes, Sir.” Jesse stood.
“Where are you going? I said the topic is over. That doesn’t mean I want you to leave.”
Jesse’s forehead wrinkled in the middle. He returned to his chair. “Sorry, Sir.”
“I’m as pissed off as you are about this bullshit. I wanted us to begin on the right foot, not like this, but your safety is important to me because you are important to me. I can’t take any chances. As soon as it is solved, one way or another, you’ll be able to ride your motorcycle again.”
“I like being with you, Sir. I feel good about myself. You do things for me that make me feel wanted. That’s really important to me. I don’t want to destroy what we’ve started together.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jesse
Jesse went outside to the pool area and sat on the lounger. The temperature shift from inside to outside was noticeable. He pulled his shirt off and removed his shoes and socks. The beautiful turquoise pool teased Jesse. Master Andrew had said he couldn’t swim alone, but he was in the office, which had a window view. He admired the gorgeous patterned tiles around the pool. The pool was filled with glittering water as clear as the sky, not murky anywhere. It was so calm it looked like he could walk out onto it and just keep walking forever, never getting wet at all. Like a turquoise sidewalk, it was straight and formal looking. His instinct demanded to dive in, dive down, down, down,—all the way to the bottom. He wanted to drown his feelings away.
Jesse picked up his phone and read his email with Sam’s information. He added the number to his phone contacts and stared at it. A part of him wanted to talk to Sam, but another part feared being hurt more. From his own experience, his attachment to Sam hurt a lot. When he committed to him, he’d expected things out of their relationship, Jesse expected Sam to always stay with him and give him attention all the time, which was not actually possible. His stupid desire to be attached led Jesse to possessiveness and jealousy; he’d become clingy, which was his downfall. Sam disliked him for all those reasons. Sam’s rejection was what actually hurt.
Although red flags had been everywhere, Jesse had ignored them for whatever stupid reas
on. He believed his behavior reflected the characteristics of a good sub. There was no place in their relationship to doubt his Dom. The flashbacks, the memories, the music, and all the what-ifs would drown him if he allowed them, but with Master Andrew in the picture, his life had improved on every level, especially emotionally and sexually.
Yet Sam had been like Master Andrew in the beginning of their relationship, and somehow, Jesse had done something to destroy it. Then again, Sam had been with other subs during their relationship for a good year. That hurt, and no matter how much Master Andrew cared for him, the pain of Sam’s betrayal would never leave. He didn’t believe he’d feel less pain over Sam in time. Jesse feared repeating the same mistakes with Master Andrew, but he wasn’t quite sure what he had done for Sam to abandon him the way he had. He’d showed no respect for him. He needed to know. Call Sam and find out. Now.
He looked at the time. Although it was nine in California, it would be three hours later in New York. He didn’t care. He had to know now. Trembling, he hit the call button and waited as it went through.
“Who the fuck is calling me at this hour?” Sam shouted.
“Jesse.”
“Ah, Jesse. How did you find me?”
“Why did you leave me the way you did?” Jesse asked, his voice trembling.
“Family obligations. You’re not family. Just a good fuck and a maid.”
“You could have told me so I could find another place to live. That was a total bullshit thing to do.” Jesse hated the coldness in Sam’s voice. Of course, Sam knew that saying Jesse, the man who’d loved him for four years, wasn’t his family would sting. He knew he’d been an orphan most of his childhood. To throw it into his face was cruel, and it made Jesse’s stomach twist into knots.
“You were my sub. I don’t owe you reasons for what I did. I left your collar cut up so you knew that you were free from our contract. What else do you fucking want from me?”
“Tell me why you cheated on me? What did I do to deserve that?” Jesse stood and paced the pool area.
“Subs don’t demand anything from their Doms. It’s the other way around.”
They said you lied about everything. You’re not who you say you are, plus you’re a fucking mobster.” Jesse had never said that before, but he felt stronger now after telling Sam what he and the others thought of him.
“Who the fuck cares what you or they think?”
“I do. Master Andrew is my new Dom, and he’s much better than you ever were in treating me the proper way. His huge cock is much bigger and better too.” Jesse ended the call and placed his phone on the table between the loungers. Immediately, his phone rang, but he stripped out of his clothes and dove into the pool, ignoring the persistent ringing.
The conversation with Sam had sickened him, and he couldn’t stop shaking, but he worked hard to relax his arms and legs as he swam underwater to the end of the pool. He stretched his hands in front of him in a streamline position. He kept his feet and legs straight and together. On his return, he bent his knees slightly and extended his legs behind his body. The pool temperature was comfortable from the heat of the day’s sun. Each time he turned around to swim back, he imagined himself running away from Sam’s painful words. If he swam enough laps, he might rid himself of Sam’s rejection with indifference. The coldness from Sam had chilled his insides with sadness. Everything he’d done for Sam had meant nothing to him. If that wasn’t bad enough, he had to remind Jesse he wasn’t part of his family. Of course, Jesse had been an orphan most of his entire life. He belonged to no one’s family other than the family he had made with Charlie.
After a while, Master Andrew joined him in the pool. “Jesse, are you okay?”
“I called him, Sir.” Jesse’s entire body trembled as he treaded water beside Master Andrew.
“I know.” Master Andrew wrapped his arms around him. “That was very brave to confront him. I’m proud of you.”
“It made me sick, Sir. He made me feel so dirty and unworthy. That’s why I swam. I wanted to wash the filth off me inside and out.” Jesse denied his tears, which wanted to surface.
“You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be loved and respected. You deserve to be happy, and I want us to share that. You deserve to have your needs met, and I’ll do my best. You’re worth investing my time and energy into. You’re capable of great things, and I want to help you get there. Your feelings are important to me. You have power and wisdom inside you. What you want matters to me.”
“I want us to work, Sir. I don’t want to disappoint you the way I did with Sam. I don’t want to destroy us before we are an us.”
“Jesse, you are perfect as you are. I see you as an irreplaceable sub and lover who’s glided into my life. There has never been anyone quite like you. You’re smart, you are capable, and you are good. There’s something about you that sets you apart from other subs. Maybe it’s your style or your humor or your tenacity to attain perfection. Perhaps your most wonderful quality is the way you care so deeply for others. I want that from you.”
“I do care deeply for you, Sir. I just don’t want my past to make you feel like I don’t want you. I do want you, even though I’m an emotional mess.”
“I heard you talking from my office window, so I came out to check on you, see if you were all right.”
“Then you heard what I said to him?”
“I heard you say my cock is much bigger and better than his.” Master Andrew pulled him closer so their cocks touched. Jesse looked up at his smiling face. He had that special smile that made Jesse feel like everything would be okay again.
“I didn’t see you.”
“I stood by the door because I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation, and when you stripped off your clothes, I wanted to give you some space.”
Jesse’s pulse raced when Master Andrew massaged his back. He leaned against his chest, desire running from his heart to his chest and down toward his inner thighs. Master Andrew pushed his wet hair away from his eyes. That simple touch sent chills through his body. Master Andrew moved his hands from the sides of his head down to his neck, then out to his shoulders. Goose bumps spread over his skin. He grabbed Jesse’s hands gently, lifted them, and kissed them. Jesse felt safe in his arms again, even though he spoke no words. Jesse’s heart was about to beat right out of his chest. He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, then exhaled.
He kissed Jesse’s shoulder and ran his lips along his skin toward his ear and bit Jesse gently. He tilted his head and stared into Jesse’s eyes, smiling. And when Master Andrew’s lips pressed against his, calmness washed over him.
Slowly, his senses started to send a report back to his brain that he had talked to Sam. He had managed to tell him how he felt. He’d stood up to the man who’d broken his heart. He kept his eyes closed, not because he didn’t want to see Master Andrew, but he wanted this feeling to last forever.
“I feel much better with you holding me, Sir,” Jesse said.
“You’re right where you belong. Don’t forget it. Want me to make you an ice cream soda?”
“I’d love one, Sir.”
They swam to the steps and climbed out together. Master Andrew grabbed two towels from the table, dried Jesse with one, then wrapped it around him.
“I’m happy you’re here with me,” Master Andrew said as he toweled himself and wrapped the towel around his lower body.
Jesse’s phone rang again.
“Is that Sam calling?”
“Yes, Sir, but I don’t want to talk to him anymore. I’ve said what I wanted to say.”
Master Andrew picked up Jesse’s phone and turned it off. He followed Master Andrew into the kitchen and sat down.
“I want you to tell me everything. I’m here to make sure you’re okay.” He pulled out the ice cream, whipped cream, and soda.
“It was kind of demeaning to hear Sam speak to me as if I was nothing to him after four years. What really got me was when he said I wasn’t family. I d
on’t know why, but that felt like he’d stabbed a sword through my balls. And not in a good way.”
“Damn, Jesse, why would you ever create such a horrific visual in your mind? Now, it’s in my head.” He set their ice cream sodas on the table.
“Sorry, it just popped into my head.” Jesse spooned his whipped cream. “This is good.”
“It hurt because he deliberately wanted to hurt you. I’d like to beat his ugly ass to the ground.”
“Sam told me he left my collar cut up to let me know I was free and no longer his sub. I guess Ben made it up when he said that Sam still sees me as his sub.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you so much.”
“Why did I allow him to demean me for four years?”
“Because you trusted your Dom, and he betrayed you in every possible way. That’s not how a true Dom treats his sub. I won’t ever treat you like that.”
“Master Jake reassured me that you’re not like Sam in any way.”
“And what do you think about us, aside from what you said to him on the phone?”
“I’m not frightened or on edge every minute anymore. I feel safe and cared for when I’m around you. I want to stay here and please you, Sir.”
“That’s what I want to hear, Jesse. I want you to feel secure here, and I have an idea that might help you. I’d like to try some bondage on you.”
“I’m up for it, Sir.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Master Andrew
They finished their ice cream sodas, and Jesse placed the glasses in the dishwasher. As he stood bent over, Andrew stepped up behind him and rubbed his cock against Jesse’s ass.
“You’re so damn hot.” He picked Jesse up and carried him over his shoulder to the bedroom.
“Hey, this feels good,” Jesse said.
“I wanted you to know who’s in control around here.”
“Yes, Sir. I like it when you boss me around.”