by Maribel Fox
I know I’m dead if I stay here any longer. Right now I’m a bargaining chip at best. I might have info, but once they have that sword, anything I’ve got is worthless. At the moment, I’m most valuable for controlling Micah and to a lesser extent, Ava. That’s not going to happen. I’m nobody’s pawn, and they can torture me until the end of the world, but I’m not going to break. Not for those fuckers.
Finally, well after dark, I manage to slip the ties. My arms fall limp and heavy to my sides, blood rushing in painfully, prickling and twitching. I move toward the back of the tent, and as I do, I feel wetness running down my neck. I assume it’s sweat, despite the chill in the air, until I wipe it away and my hand comes back sticky and dark.
I follow the line of blood and I’m not sure if I’m bleeding from my scalp, my ear, or both, but I know I need to move fast if I don’t want to leave a trail. The rest of the tents of the encampment lay between me and the B&B, so I head the other way — toward the sound of the waves. It’s a welcome sound, and I stagger through the woods in a daze, arms useless, legs not much better. My head’s throbbing, and the trickle’s morphed into a steady flow running down my neck, stiffening on my battered skin.
The world slides in and out of focus, but I pay attention to the waves. Even when I can’t see through the tunnel vision, the waves call to me, pull me closer. I feel like something — or someone — is tugging me, pulling me down to the sand, when I barely have the strength to continue. Once I’m there, water lapping my feet, I collapse, everything going entirely dark.
25
Ava
“Oops,” I hear, startling me awake.
It’s not the kind of thing you want to hear first thing upon waking up. Especially not from your younger brother.
I blink, trying to sort through the sleep haze in my brain, and then I start to sit up.
“Ava? Are you awake?” Ian asks.
I am now.
“Yeah,” I say with a yawn, pulling myself upright in bed, turning on the lamp, preparing to ask him what’s up. Only once the light’s on, I don’t have to.
Ian’s holding one of the serving trays from the kitchen, and on it he’s got a plate of toast with jam, and a mug of steaming coffee.
“I brought you breakfast in bed!” he says, passing me the tray.
How can I not smile at that? His cherubic face is all lit up with pride and he’s waiting for me to acknowledge all the hard work he put into this modest spread.
“Oh wow, thanks! What’s the special occasion?” I ask.
Ian shrugs, then climbs up into bed with me. He’s still in his pajamas and socks, and he pulls blankets up around him making a nest.
Guess we’re having some sibling bonding time this morning.
“Everything okay?” I ask, taking a bite of the too-dark toast. He tried his best, and for that I’m gonna eat it all.
With all that’s been going on lately with the guys and the magic and everything else, I realize that Ian’s kind of been left to the wayside, to drift on his own and fend for himself. Suddenly, I feel like the world’s worst sister.
Ian shrugs again, his mouth turned down in a little frown that pulls on my heartstrings.
“All right spill it. What’s on your mind?”
The coffee’s surprisingly good, but then I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my brother knows how to work the thing better than I do, considering that coffee maker’s some fancy smart-thing I bought on a stupid whim. I can sit there and poke at the screen for five minutes and hope I get what I want, or I can use the ancient one from the thrift store that never needed a replacement in the first place.
Guess how much that fancy coffee-maker gets used.
But apparently, it’s better at its job than I give it credit for. Chalk it up to user error, I suppose.
Ian’s coffee quickly does its job of waking me up and making my brain more functional, so he gets an A-plus from me.
“I’ve been thinking…” Ian says carefully, looking down into the depths of his blanket nest.
“Yeah?”
“About Seamus and Raj and Kush and Micah…”
My chest tightens, and I swallow past the lump in my throat, trying to keep my face neutral. I’ve been thinking about those guys too, but somehow, I don’t think my brother and I are thinking the same kinds of things.
“What about them?” I ask carefully, sensing his hesitation.
Ian takes a deep breath, his chest expanding before his eyes flick up to mine, shining with innocence.
“Do you like them?”
I shrug, some of the tension leaving my shoulders. “Yeah, sure, why not? They’re kinda weird, but I like them.”
“No,” he says, forehead scrunching as he shakes his head. “Do you like them? Like like.”
I frown back at him. “What, like would I want one of them to be my boyfriend?”
Ian makes a face, but slowly nods. “I guess.”
“That’s kinda complicated—”
“Because they all like you?” he asks.
That makes me blink.
“What? What makes you think that?”
He sighs. “Cause I talk to them.”
I snort. It’s such a matter-of-fact answer, and he sounds so much older than his seven years when he says it. I’ve gotta humor him and see where this is going.
I’m trying to be unfazed by this, trying to play it casual and not think about what my relationship with four men is going to do to my little brother. What kind of impact that could have on him and how he views relationships.
It’s not something I can just ignore, that’s for sure. But I’m also not really sure anything serious enough is happening that Ian needs to know about it.
It was much easier when I forgot all about men and sex for the last three years.
“You do, do you?” I ask. “What about?”
Ian gives me an impatient look, like he can tell I’m internally amused and he doesn’t find it funny.
“Seamus teaches me how to fix stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to understand him, but he talks about you a lot too,” he says. My heart flutters at the thought, and it’s confirmation that my suspicions were right about all the repairs going on around here.
That tricky Irishman. He’s got everyone convinced that he’s a no-good layabout drunkard, and really, he’s wandering around doing home repairs and entertaining my brother.
“So, you like Seamus?” I ask.
Ian nods. “Raj too. He helps me with problems I have at school.”
“You have problems at school?” I ask, suddenly alarmed. “Like homework, or what?”
Ian’s lips retreat into his mouth and red creeps up his neck. “No…”
“Bullies?” I ask, ready to kick some little kid’s ass.
Ian huffs. “No, it’s a girl I like, okay? I thought she hated me, but Raj told me that’s how girls show they like you,” he frowns when he says it, and I can tell he’s still not convinced. “He knows a lot about people, though. He always knows what to say when I don’t.”
I’m halfway through my toast by now, and my heart’s just swelling. I mean, I know that I don’t have my eye on these guys every minute of the day, but I never would have guessed that they’re just willingly hanging around with my little bro, palling around. It warms me up inside, but at the same time, it’s bittersweet. It hurts; I didn’t realize how entangled with all of this Ian had gotten and that makes things way more complicated.
“Kush is really good at video games. When he’s on my team, we always win,” he says gleefully. Always — how often is this happening? “He said he’s going to teach me to surf someday, but the waves here are too small.”
“He said that, huh?” My hand’s sweaty on the mug at the thought that Kushiel’s making long-term plans with my sibling. This is crazy. I thought…
Well, to be honest I kind of figured they were all moving in on me because they could. Because I’m here, and I’m some kind of special magic. And yeah, I’ve been f
eeling myself fall for each one of them slowly, but I’ve been fighting against it because it’s impossible.
Isn’t it?
Four guys, a girl, and her little brother — one big happy family?
That’s not a real thing.
Or is it?
I swallow thickly, mind whirling with ideas, with new possibilities. I don’t know what Ian would think about it, but he seems pretty smitten with these guys.
“Yeah. He said we should all take a road trip to California,” Ian says grinning from ear to ear.
Thanks for that, Kush, I think ruefully. Then I instantly feel guilty because he’s still missing and who knows what’s happening to him. And Raj… He’s still gone too, down to Hell and who knows if he’s coming back.
How do I tell Ian about that? That two of his new friends might never be coming back?
“I don’t know though,” Ian says, frowning. “I don’t think Micah likes him very much.”
“Why’s that?”
Ian shrugs. “Whenever I talk about Kush he gets this real serious look on his face and then gets quiet before he starts talking about something else.”
“It’s complicated,” I tell him. “Kush kept a pretty big secret from Micah, and he only just found out about it.”
“Yeah,” Ian says sagely. “Micah has a lot of cool stories though. And he’s showing me how to fight!”
“He’s what?”
“He says it’s only to protect myself or you. Want me to show you?” he asks, already halfway to his feet on the bed. I laugh and tug him back down by his pajama top.
“Maybe later,” I chuckle, shaking my head. “Sounds like you’ve been busy making friends.”
“Do you think they’re going to stay?” he asks, eyes wide and unblinking. He looks so hopeful that it breaks my damn heart.
“Well, you know they’re just guests, right? Guests come and go.”
“Yeah,” he sighs, looking dejected. “But I thought since they like you… If you liked them… Maybe they’d stay?”
“It’s not exactly that simple, bud,” I say with a sigh.
“Why not?”
“Well, because…” I say, trailing off. How to explain the intricacies of this kind of thing to a second-grader?
But the longer I try to come up with an answer, the harder I find it. ‘Because people will talk’ is a pretty shitty reason.
‘Because I’m scared’ is even worse.
But isn’t that the way it’s always been with me? Ever since the fire, ever since Mom died, I’ve been afraid.
Afraid of myself, afraid of responsibility, afraid of failing the people I love and not being able to keep them safe.
So afraid.
But that’s the coward’s response. And I’m tired of being a coward. I’m tired of curling up in a ball, waiting for the blows to come.
It’s time to stand up for myself, for my family, for what I want and what I believe in. It’s time to start defending myself.
“Because I’m an idiot,” I say with a little smile, pulling him into me for a hug. “C’mere,” I say, kissing him on the top of his mop of golden curls. “You’re a pretty smart kid, you know that?”
“What’d I say?” he asks, confused.
“You asked me a question I can’t answer, ‘cause there isn’t a good answer.”
“I don’t get it,” he says, still frowning.
I hug him tighter and kiss him on the head again, laughing.
“Don’t worry about it. I love you. Thank you,” I say, setting the breakfast tray aside and hopping out of bed.
I need to go talk to my guys.
26
Raj
Stepping foot back on the soft grasses of Ava’s lawn is a welcome change from the harshness of Hell. It’s early morning, the sky a hazy gray, wind blowing through the bay in looping swirls.
It feels good to be back.
Especially after how things went down in Hell.
It was not what I expected. Not at all.
Or, rather it was, until it wasn’t.
Things had begun as I anticipated — disappointment and threats due to my failure to retrieve the sword or learn of Seamus’s intentions. It wasn’t until they began to talk about Lili — how I had failed at the same mission she had — that things took a turn.
No one had ever mentioned to me the mission Lili was on when she went missing. As far as I knew, her whereabouts were unknown, though this sudden mention of her raised my suspicions. What more do they know of her disappearance? What are they not sharing?
Well, in true Hellish fashion, nothing comes without a price. And if I want to know what they know about Lili, I have to come back with the sword. It’s that simple.
Now if only it were simple. The sword is missing, and at this point, even if it wasn’t, I’m not sure how I would manage to get my hands on it with so many eyes watching keenly.
The Angel is outside the B&B, sitting at a picnic table alone drinking root beer. We come from such very different worlds, Micah and I, but somehow, we are very much the same. We both understand certain things about the rules and laws of the universe. We have an understanding, the two of us, even if I never expected it to happen.
“You have returned,” he says plainly.
“I have.”
“And?”
I sit on the opposite side of the table, and Micah regards me over the lip of his mug. He’s the last person I’d expect myself to unload my frustrations on, but out of all the people I know here, I think Micah might actually get it better than anyone. Crazy.
“You ever wonder why we do it?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Serve,” I answer simply. “Go off on missions we don’t understand, following orders from people we can’t trust, all for a cause that doesn’t even seem real — or make sense.”
“I had not ever had cause to wonder such things until recently,” he says, making my eyes go wide.
“Oh? Things not all paradise in Heaven?”
Micah’s lips thin, and I think for a moment he might not tell me anything perceiving my disrespectful attitude. He shakes his head then.
“I have been lied to by my superiors for far too long.”
“Welcome to the club,” I grumble bitterly. “Apparently I was sent off on the same mission my sister disappeared on. Some leadership. No one even bothered to tell me.”
Micah’s the one looking interested now. “The sword?” he asks.
I don’t know if I should be telling him all of this, but you know what? Fuck it. I’m sick of working for those pricks. I can find out what happened to Lili some other way, without them. Surely I can. They waited this long to even tell me there’s something to know. I can’t count on them if I hope to track her down.
And the way they talked about her, the way they dangled information about my sister in front of me… I know Hell’s tricks, I know the games the upper circles like to play. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing, but I think there’s a chance Lili could be alive. If she’s alive and Hell knows where she is, there is a way for me to find out as well. I only have to locate the right avenue.
Screw trying to do it from the inside. I owe them nothing.
“Yeah,” I admit. “They wanted me to find out what Seamus was doing here, but the sword was the main thing.”
There’s a pang of guilt that lances through me, knowing that I’ve condemned my family to torture and ruin. Perhaps worse, who knows.
A brisk damp wind floats past, rustling wild lupines that grow amongst the trees. The pang shifts, and I realize this is the home, the family I must look out for now. Ava and Ian — even these crazy other guys involved in this mess — that’s where my focus should lie.
“For me as well, though you posed an additional concern,” he admits, a hint of a smile turning his lips.
I’m sure I did. Heaven saw me and Seamus colluding, couldn’t possibly keep their meddling feathers out of things.
“This has gone t
oo far,” I growl all of the sudden, my fist coming down on the table. “Has Kushiel returned yet?”
Micah’s expression turns grim, his eyes flash golden, and for a moment, I’m sure I’m going to see his wings pop out — typically the last thing you see with Angels of his caliber.
“I believe they are holding him hostage. Perhaps as a bargaining chip.”
“Shit,” I mutter, stomach sinking. That’s not good. Might as well start mourning now. If they get him back to Heaven, it’s all over for our buddy Kush.
“And Ava?” I ask, every nerve ending in my body alert with the need for her, the desire to have her in my arms again, in my bed. Not the time for that, though. If we’re lucky, there will be another time for that, but right now, I have to be content with the memories.
Micah shifts in his seat uncomfortably, dodging eye contact.
“What happened with Ava?” I demand, a million possibilities running through my mind.
“She is unharmed,” he says carefully. “Though her mental state is… I am not sure she is handling things well.”
“Well, she’s got a Celestial army in her backyard, a troupe of Devils and Angels vying for her affections, and a new place in the magical world to adapt to — can’t be surprised if she’s distressed.”
Micah frowns. “It should have been you offering her comfort. I had not considered any of that.”
“Empathy’s not your strong suit, Angel.”
“Is it yours, Devil?”
“Part of being able to manipulate people and enticing them to sin is understanding what makes them tick. It doesn’t take understanding someone’s mind to give them a set of rules and tell them not to break them.”
He considers it for a moment, then nods. “I suppose you have a point.”
“Any news on the front of the battalion?” I ask, pivoting. I can’t imagine they’ll hold their position long since we know they’re out there. They’ve already lost their chance for an ambush and mobilizing the number of soldiers they have won’t be a quick task. They could be marching here as we speak, though I doubt Micah would be calmly sitting here drinking root beer if they were.