“Yeah, I guess that’s right. But you’re so different. I mean, the way you glow, and your voice—it’s a little scary. And really awesome. And I’m just the same.”
“No, you’re wrong. None of us is just the same. And your power is getting stronger. Don’t you feel it?” I want him—no, I need him to believe in himself like I finally believe in me. He has to if he’s going to stand up to the threat facing the members of our village. He has to if he’s going to help me stay grounded.
I may not be just a girl, but I’m still a girl.
Nick contemplates what I’ve just asked. His pupils dilate—his mind is somewhere else—and then he looks at me again.
“Yes. I do feel stronger, but mostly because of you.” He runs a hand through the disaster of a mop on my head and I’m painfully self-conscious. Then he takes my scarf from his pocket—my once beautiful emerald silk scarf, stained now with his blood and mine—and reaches behind me to tie it in a loose knot around my hair. His breath warms my cheek.
I want to cry.
“Hey,” he says, lifting my chin, and just when I think he might kiss me, just when I so painfully want him to kiss me, Chimney runs from a house toward us yelling, “Last Meal! Orville says Last Meal’s early today!”
The spell is broken, but the butterflies low in my belly are hungry for something more than snoodles and sun-ripened tomatoes. I’ve been holding my breath, and when I let it out, it releases in a silly giggle. Nick giggles too, and before I know it, Chimney is laughing with us, though he doesn’t know why.
It’s been too long since we’ve heard laughter. It’s been too long since we’ve laughed. I step away from Nick and throw my arms around Chimney.
“I haven’t properly thanked you for coming to my rescue, Chim. I owe you, buddy. It must’ve been scary.” The word buddy reminds me of Odin, but he and his circling ravens will have to wait a little while longer.
“A little scary, maybe, but it was pretty cool. Those water tunnels were fun, but I don’t remember how we got in ’em. Orville was s’pose to come with us too, but I guess he changed his mind. That part’s fuzzy. The only time I was kinda scared was when I didn’t know we could breathe in the water. I held my breath till I couldn’t anymore, and then it was awesome. Makes me want to go back in the water. Can we go? Oh, and then when we went whooshing through the water, well, that was a little scary too, cuz I didn’t know when we’d stop and my stomach was all upside down. Hey, were you guys gonna kiss?”
Nick looks into my eyes and raises one eyebrow, and we laugh again in an attempt to deflect the question.
“Cuz that’s how Nick woke you up. Remember?” Chimney is persistent. Even though he’s more than just a little boy, he’s still the quirky, verbose young man who once wanted to disappear most of the time.
“Yes, smarty-pants, I remember.” How could I ever forget? “And maybe we were, maybe we weren’t! So, what’s for Last Meal?” I ask the question to get him off the topic of kissing, and although I don’t really feel hungry, I suspect I should eat something.
“Lotsa stuff from Teresa’s garden and some kinda meat Merts brought back. You should see them with those magic arrows! They don’t talk much, but boy, they sure can hunt. C’mon. We need to hurry up so we can find out how to bring back Bridger and Blanche.”
If only it could be as easy as going to get them. Based on what Ranger’s new partner Penelope shared, there are unknown ruthless beings roaming around in the outlands. Sharon and her parents would be sure to recruit them for their purposes, and based on what they did to Zoya, they’re not working on ways to advance our new civilization.
And then there’s the threat in the air. Evidently Orville, Noor, and I aren’t the only ones who can fly. Teresa’s doves are too tame for battle, and Odin’s ravens, who are growing impatient with me, will return with him to Asgard once he’s released. Or will they? And where’s Noor?
“Hey! You comin’? Or should I leave so you two can kiss again?” Chimney scrunches up his face when he says “kiss.”
“Nope! No kissing allowed before Last Meal,” I say, trying to make a joke. Chimney runs back toward the house, Nick takes my hand, and we follow.
“Little guy’s tough,” he says. “Hardly ever complains, and I can’t remember the last time he disappeared.”
“What if Blanche doesn’t want to come home, Nick? He’d be crushed.”
“She might not. But he has us. He has a family. He’ll be all right.” Nick stops at the porch steps and pulls me into another embrace. “I was afraid I’d lost you, Celeste.”
The door opens and I smell something delicious.
“I’m here,” I say, wishing time would stop.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I slip away once we get into the house. My mother used to say there were “too many cooks in the kitchen” during holiday meal preparation, and now I understand what she meant. If she were in this kitchen today, though, I’d be right by her side whether she needed my help or not.
“Be right back,” I tell Nick, and I’m happy to find no one in the bathroom upstairs. I remember Lena’s “quick like a bunny” comment the first time I showered in this house. The water was barely warm then, and now it’s just cold. But I don’t care. It feels so good to wash off a layer of salt and grime. Someone has managed to create a bottled substance resembling soap—I suspect Maddie and Teresa combined their talents—and I’m grateful for it.
I do my best to wash the stains from my scarf, but only the dirt flows down the drain. The blood stains are there forever. I’m okay with that. Orville may have said “never forever” a lifetime ago, but blood is forever. So many memories in this house.
My clothes are damaged beyond repair and smell like they look. What happens to them when I disperse? And what happened to them when I became a dove? The question amuses me, because somehow, I always end up back in them when I become Celeste again. It’s like my clothes hang around to remind me I’m human, to bring me back to myself.
I can’t bear to put them back on.
I run across the hall to a room Maddie shares with Teresa and search through their closet. There’s not much to choose from, but there’s a simple dress pushed far to the side.
A dress. The last dress I recall wearing was on Easter morning. I was probably eight. They’re not very practical, dresses, but this one has pockets, and for some reason, I really want to wear it. It fits like it was waiting for me to put it on.
I remember the apples and core in the pockets of my filthy clothes and put them in these clean pockets. I tie back my hair with my damp scarf and join those gathered for Last Meal downstairs.
~ 14 ~
NICK SITS at the bottom of the stairs as I descend, and when he looks up at me, his mouth opens as wide as his eyes. I laugh, and he closes his mouth quickly, but his eyes don’t change. He jumps up and steps back to let me by.
“You look beautiful,” he says, and I’m not self-conscious anymore. I feel beautiful, and it’s not just because of the dress. It’s not even just because of how I see myself through his eyes. It’s because of something deep inside me, something finally coming to the surface. Something I’m finally accepting about myself.
“Thanks. I guess it’s been a while since you’ve seen me clean.” I don’t count the time he found me floating in an underwater tube.
“Well, will you look at my girl,” Dad says to the group in the kitchen, and I become the topic of conversation while we eat. All the attention makes me a little uncomfortable, but it’s the kind of attention I haven’t had for as long as I can remember. It’s the good kind.
“The dress looks wonderful on you,” Teresa says. “I’m happy you found it. It’s yours.”
I thank her for it and smile. Is Mac ever not by her side? He looks at her the way Nick is starting to look at me, and I can tell it makes her feel the same way I feel—all warm inside, and safe. Teresa has her own glow, not green like mine, but a more natural one. Despite the constant uncertainty of the world we�
�re living in, she seems happy.
Maybe happiness is as simple as having someone to love.
“Oh! Before I forget,” I say, retrieving the apples. “For your garden! I found these on a tree from the other side.”
Teresa’s eyes light up. It’s been ages since anyone on this side has eaten an apple, and she’ll have trees growing in no time.
“And now will you tell us where you’ve been?” she asks.
I share abbreviated stories of the dining hall in Asgard and how I once landed in an enormous bread bowl after one of my fluxes, and everyone laughs. I tell them about the great vat of eyeballs in Kumugwe’s castle.
“Really, Celeste? You want us thinking about vats of eyeballs while we’re eating?” Lena looks at me disapprovingly and I want to laugh—she’s too young to have mastered the expression of chastisement on her face—but she’s right.
“Yeah, Celeste,” her twin, Katie, agrees. “But I bet Jack would eat them!”
“Sure, I’d eat ’em! They probly make you strong,” says Jack, flexing his skinny arms and making everyone laugh again. I’d forgotten about the boy’s speed and strength. “Maybe me and Nick woulda found you sooner if we ate eyeballs too!”
The twins laugh—it’s clear they enjoy Jack’s antics—and Jack tells me about his boating adventure with Nick when Harmony had held me captive another lifetime ago, before I even knew who she was. This boy risked his life to find me too.
And Harmony was just a song to me then—a lovely, lilting child’s song.
“Sorry! I probably shouldn’t be talking about that while we’re eating, but to the copper god, they’re like treats!”
Everyone groans, and Mac says, “Enough with the eyeballs, already!”
“The copper god, you say?” Teresa caresses Mac’s cheek as if pointing out the obvious. “Is he the reason we all have copper skin?”
“I’m not sure. Kumugwe doesn’t seem to care much about what happens topside as long as his underwater world is safe. Would you please pass the eyeba—I mean, the potatoes, Jack?”
“Good one, Celeste!” Jack jumps up to pass a bowl of small, round potatoes to me. “Save a couple more for me too!”
“And me three!” says Lena.
“And me four!” says Katie.
Even Dad laughs, though I catch him looking at me with concern in his eyes throughout the meal. It can’t be easy for him, knowing he could lose me again so soon after finding me. But I’m confident it won’t take me long to release Kumugwe. And then we’ll set Odin free.
“Who’d you like best, Celeste, Odin or Kumugwe? I’m gonna guess Kumugwe.” Jack is obviously enthralled by the eyeball-eating water god.
The question takes me by surprise.
“You know, I liked certain things about both of them.” It’s an evasion, but after escaping from the battling brothers, I hadn’t really considered the idea of liking either of them.
“Like what things?” Lena asks, and Katie repeats the question. I love how they support one another, each with her unique, special power, neither one ever trying to outdo the other. How lucky to be born with someone you’ll share a bond with forever.
I can see they’re not going to let me off easy on this.
“What things? Well, Odin’s really just looking for someone to help him with his chores, and he taught me how to make rain. I liked that.” I feel a tingle of power when I recall drawing the water up from a lake and releasing it over a mountain range, and my hands start to glow. I pull it back. I have to stay grounded, at least through dinner. “And his food was the best. You can’t even imagine the meats and cheeses and breads and treats on his table every evening.”
“Did he have mint chocolate chip ice cream?” Jack’s eyes grow wide when he asks, and I remember a time when every freezer had ice cream.
“And bananas with honey?” Maddie’s question makes me wonder what happened to the bees.
And will we ever figure out how to restore power and bring light back into our lives and into our homes again? I feel a little guilty for having mentioned these delicacies, but everyone looks hungry for more details.
“Yes, every flavor of ice cream and bananas with honey and whatever I asked for. Odin would have given me anything I wanted just to keep me there with him. He was pretty lonely.” Saying it makes me sad for him.
“Maybe he should come live with us!” Chimney suggests. “Betcha he didn’t have snoodles up there in the clouds!”
His suggestion is dismissed with laughter, but it plants a seed in my brain.
“What about Kumugwe?” Jack snaps back from his ice cream reverie.
“Let’s see. Kumugwe taught me I could breathe underwater, and he loves his sea creatures, so I like those things about him.” I’m not telling the young ones about the horrors I discovered when he released me to find Zoya. “And he rescued a little girl and raised her like she was his own daughter.” The more I talk about the gods, the more I realize they may not be the monsters I was beginning to think they were.
“Perhaps the villagers should learn more about these gods too?” Orville glances around the table and it’s clear we’re near the end of our meal. “I hear them gathering outside.”
“Yes! And I have more technical things to share with them.” I pause for a moment and look at the young faces around the table. Chimney, Jack, Lena, and Katie look at me with raised eyebrows, waiting for me to tell them more about the gods, but I don’t want them to hear what I have to tell the villagers.
“Maddie, do you have a new story to share,” I nod subtly toward the youngsters, “while I talk to the people outside about some really boring stuff?”
Maddie smirks at me. I know she wants to be included with the more mature members of the village, but she understands. “Do I have a story? You can’t even imagine the story I’m going to share, but it’s only for these guys. Sorry, but the rest of you have to go outside now.” With that, Maddie hurries out of the kitchen toward the room where she used to teach the children, and they run right behind her.
“Those kids are pretty strong,” Nick says, “but it’s nice of you to give them a little break from all the heaviness. Last Meal was fun. It’s great to hear them laugh.”
Everyone is silent for a moment as the weight of Nick’s words hangs in the air. He’s feeling the same thing I’ve just felt. We’re all feeling it. It’s been a memorable meal, and I don’t want it to end. With my father here, these people are starting to feel like family. This place is starting to feel like home.
Dad smiles at me and nods. He feels like a stable force here among so many young people. I’ve missed his support and guidance—and approval—so much more than I realized.
But it’s time to share the visions I’ve seen and the threat we face with the others. If we can’t stop the scientists and their bizarre army, there may be no more Last Meals like the one we just enjoyed.
I take a deep breath and follow Orville out the door.
~ 15 ~
OVER GASPS FROM VILLAGERS when they see me in a dress, I hear the insistent call of Odin’s ravens—circling impatiently—and acknowledge them with a look. The evening is mild and the setting sun paints drifting stratus clouds with fiery colors.
Nick stands by me on one side, and Chimney joins me on the other, though I hoped he would have followed Maddie with the other young ones. It was a foolish expectation. Despite missing his sister, Chimney has been his own person since the first time Orville and I encountered him on a hilltop beyond the village.
The crowd—a mixture of human and animal—is quiet, waiting for me to speak. Their expressions and postures, alert and open, tell me they’re ready for whatever I’m about to share. I try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach.
“Thank you for coming together,” I start. “I feel like I’ve been gone a long time.” I see smiles and nods.
“While I’ve been away, I’ve seen things and been places I never could have imagined outside my dreams. Two old gods have tried to impris
on me, and now they’re both trapped and powerless. They need to be freed if we want our planet to be repaired.”
I wait for the mumbling to settle down.
“As I told some of you earlier, Odin—the god you used to chant to for rain every evening—is growing weak. He’s trapped in Kumugwe’s underwater castle. Those are his ravens flying above.” I point to them and everyone looks up. Expressions vary from wide-eyed awe to fear.
“They’re not a threat to us, but they and Odin’s wolves who roam in Asgard above need him back, and we need for him to be back in his realm too.” This may not be completely true, but it feels right. Odin will have to decide how he’s going to behave once he’s released.
“But why? He didn’t help us before,” someone calls from the crowd.
“Yeah. And who’s this Kumugwe?” someone else questions, and my answers better be convincing.
“Odin watches over more than just our little village. I can’t pretend to know how he makes his decisions, but he has to look at what’s best for the entire planet. And Kumugwe is god of the seas. Kumugwe calls Odin his brother. He rescued Harmony after her parents—the scientists who are creating an army and who kidnapped Bridger—threw her away into the sea. He’s raised her from the time she was an infant.”
“But I don’t get it. Why would he want to keep that weird, scary girl?” Chimney asks, scrunching his shoulders.
They know nothing about her.
“Isn’t she Sharon’s sister?” Teresa asks. “I remember them walking hand in hand after the child came from the water, after you threw the spear and—”
“Disappeared,” Nick finishes her sentence. He looks at me as if I might disappear again. I take his hand and squeeze it gently.
I look at Dad and he gives me an encouraging nod to continue. I feel his approval and see pride in his eyes.
“Kumugwe saw something special in her. He believed in her. He raised her and taught her everything, including how to camouflage herself, like octopuses do. He’s trapped on a dry, rocky island, and Harmony swims around it, afraid. I’ll release him first.”
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