I look at Nic, alarm and panic written across both our faces. He finds his words first, looking at one of the Bunny Patrol. “Can I come too? Please.”
The nurse doesn’t even look at him as she preps my arm for an IV, hitting the vein in the first shot before stringing two bags and hooking monitors to the bed. “Yes. Follow us.”
Without another word, we haul ass out of the room, rushing down the hallway. Vaguely, I note that the fluorescent lights really do flash by above me like they do on TV shows when they’re rushing someone to surgery. Looking around half blinded, I need the reassurance of my man. “Nic?”
He answers me, right behind my head, and I feel strength flow from his voice. “I’m here, baby. I’m right here.”
We burst through a set of doors, and I blink again. Christ, the OR is even ugly as shit green, just like on TV. Do they just film the shows in this hospital or something, and am I going to run into Ellen Pompeo sometime soon? I blink and realize I must have been given something to help with pain or something to be thinking such weird shit. Whatever it is, they’ve got me on the good stuff.
Still, the OR is freezing cold, and I hear the nurses call out for a NICU team on stand-by as rushed activity swirls all around me. Someone pulls the blankets off me, and I jerk, the cold instant. I see Nic flinch as he looks between my legs, and I wish I could see what he sees. How much blood is there? Is Amelia okay?
They shift me over to the hard table and pull this sort of half-cover up, making sure I can’t see anything. Dr. Stevens comes in, his face obscured by a big blue mask as he slips into a gown and gloves. “How’re you doing today, Rose?”
“Uh . . . I think freaked out might be an understatement,” I reply. I look around for Nic, but he’s been led out by a nurse, and I panic for a moment before I see him through a window, getting a gown on himself. “What’s going on?”
“Okay, here’s the deal, Rose. Seems like this baby is ready to come out today. You’re in good hands here. There’s no time for an epidural, so we’re going to have to put you under general anesthesia, but when you wake up, your little girl will be ready to meet you.”
I can tell that he’s smiling by the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and his calmness helps me calm down too. It’s going to be okay. I have to believe that. Once I’m arranged the way they want, Nic is given a stool to sit on near my head. He runs his fingers through my hair, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “It’s okay, baby,” he says, and I’m glad he doesn’t have to wear a mask sitting up here. I want to see all of his face. “We’ve got this. I love you so much.”
I smile back, nodding. “I love you, too. Make sure you tell Amelia I’ll wake up and be there as soon as possible. I can’t wait to hold her.”
Nic leans down, planting a kiss to my forehead, and whispers in my ear. “You’re an amazing woman and already a wonderful mother. One last thing before you go to sleep. Rose . . . will you marry me? Will you be my wife? You’re giving me such a gift, our little girl. Please let me give you one too . . . our little family, just like you always dreamed.”
I smile at him, and I think I say yes, but I’m not sure as the anesthesia takes over.
Nicolas
Walking back and forth in the hallway because they wouldn’t let me stay for the actual surgery, I keep kicking myself. I should’ve waited until after. I planned a whole fancy setup, the proposal of her dreams according to her Pinterest board. I worked it out with Brad, who was supposed to make all the arrangements, to get the setting just right in the woods and to arrange for someone to watch Amelia, the whole shebang.
But in that moment, with so many unknowns and so many questions, that was the only thing that I could think of to show her just how much she means to me and how grateful I am for the gift she is giving me, both her heart and our child. Our family.
She smiled after I asked, but whatever she tried to say came out as mumbled gibberish that sounded kinda like she said she liked hot dogs. I’d just sat there, patting her head, knowing better than to look beyond the blue curtain they’d erected at her chest before one of the nurses led me out here.
On one hand, I would love to see our baby being born. On the other hand, I know my limits, and though I’m a strong man, seeing Rose cut open like that would kill me, no matter how routine it is to everyone else in the room.
In what feels like only minutes, the door to the OR opens and a nurse waves me back in. I enter to see Dr. Stevens grinning broadly underneath his mask as he gives me a thumbs up. “It’s a girl!”
“Where?” I ask, and the nurse leads me to what looks like a plastic tub on a table against the wall. I look, and it’s love at first sight. She’s purpley-red, a little streak of blood still in her beautiful dark hair, which is plastered down. Her eyes are puffy and closed, but her mouth is working, looking for something, and I instantly know she’s hungry. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, next to her momma.”
The tears I’ve been fighting to hold back break through and I’m openly weeping. “She is,” the nurse says, taking a warm washcloth and cleaning the rest of the blood out of Amelia’s hair, “but we need to get her examined while Dr. Stevens takes care of Rose.”
At the mention of Rose, I turn back, going over and kissing her forehead. As I do, I hear a loud cry coming from Amelia. It’s the best sound I’ve ever heard. “Hear that?” I whisper in Rose’s ear. “You did it, baby. Amelia is here and she’s just as beautiful as we knew she’d be. Good job, Momma.”
The nurse who’s taking care of Amelia calls over to me. “Mr. Broadmoor? You coming with us?”
I glance to Dr. Stevens, unsure what I’m supposed to do here. He looks up from his work, pointing with his head. “Go ahead, Nicolas. Rose is fine and in good hands. Go with your baby and hold her, let her know who her daddy is. When Rose is close to waking up, they’ll bring you to her, and if everything looks good with Amelia, you can place your daughter on her mother’s chest right away.”
I nod, thankful for someone to tell me what to do. I might be a take-charge guy in most situations, but this is totally out of my league. I lean down for one more quick kiss to Rose’s cheek and then scurry out behind Amelia.
As we walk, the nurse gives me a rolling commentary on things. “The baby looks good. Vitals are stable. We gave her a little oxygen right at first, but she’s doing fine without it now. We’ll watch her closely, do some bloodwork, but it’s all just precautionary measures. Congrats, Daddy.”
I’m beaming, realizing that the nurse is right. I really am a Daddy now, and I’m going to be the best damn father I can be to this little girl. In the nursery, they have me wash my hands again and change gowns before directing me to sit in a rocking chair. “Would you like to hold her?” a nurse offers me. “She’s wrapped up and looking better than ever.”
I nod, terror and excitement coursing through me in equal amounts as the little blanket-wrapped bundle is lowered into my hands. She blinks up at me, looking sleepy now more than anything else as she puts a tiny little fist against her now pink cheek and yawns. I cradle her to my chest, cooing. “Well, hello, Amelia. So good to finally meet you. I’m your daddy. I’ll take you to meet your momma in a little bit, but having you kinda wore her out. You’ve gotta be nice to her, baby. She’s a real special woman, your momma.”
I don’t even know what else I say. I just chatter in a soft voice, telling her all about everything—her mom and me, how she’ll have to be careful or Auntie Brad will have her in a tiara 24/7, promising to explore the world with her, showing her all the wonders that can be found in the simplest of things.
We rock for what seems like hours, getting to know each other, and I memorize every little finger and toe, finding a tiny freckle on her earlobe and inhaling her sweet baby smell. In all honesty, it’s not quite the baby powder smell I was expecting, but then again, I guess that’s a product of Johnson & Johnson, not natural baby smell. Still, it’s enchanting, and I find myself kissing her forehead repea
tedly, just trying to memorize how my daughter smells and feels.
Eventually, a nurse comes in. “Mr. Broadmoor, the recovery room called. Your wife is starting to wake up. If you want to be there when she does, you’ll want to head over. Would you like me to show you the way?”
I nod, realizing that she called Rose my wife, and while it might not be true yet, I’m definitely not going to correct her because as soon as I can, I’m going to make that a reality. “One thing,” I say, handing Amelia back to the nurse. “When does Amelia get to meet Rose?”
“She’ll be right behind you.”
Rose
I blink, each movement of my eyelids feeling like it takes about an hour and a half to open, slowly getting adjusted to light again. It feels like days have passed, but I know that in fact, it’s only been a couple of hours.
When I thought earlier they’d given me the good shit, I must’ve been right. The anesthesia really did a number on me, giving me nonsensical dreams about swimming though ice cream, talking cars, and even a flash of Nic proposing. While wearing a dress. Wild, crazy stuff, for sure.
I blink, trying to get my eyes to focus on the room around me, my throat painful and my voice scratchy. “Nic?”
He comes into view beside me, smiling as his eyes look down at me warmly. “Right here, baby. How are you feeling? Need anything?”
“Water,” I whisper. “I could go for a wine too.”
He nods, grabbing a huge cup from the table and helping me catch the straw in my mouth for a small sip. “Take it easy,” he warns me. “Dr. Stevens said you could have water, but not too much right at first. And definitely no wine, you goof.”
I sigh, the room temperature water soothing the roughness in my throat. “Amelia? Is she okay?”
“She’s better than okay,” he says, his voice breaking before he clears his throat, still smiling widely. “She’s amazing, beautiful like her momma. So tiny I thought I’d break her, but I held her for a long time while you were resting. She’s doing fine. They said she won’t even have to stay. She’ll be ready to go home when you do in a couple of days.”
The knot around my heart unclenches as the news settles in. She’s okay. I did it. “Can I see her?”
Nic nods, hitting a button on the side of my bed. “Of course. You have to stay in here a little longer, but as soon as you get transferred to a room, she can stay with us.”
I smile, the tears of relief and happiness overtaking me and running down my face.
Nic leans over me, hugging my upper body awkwardly in the hospital bed. “Hey, nothing’s wrong, right? Your belly hurting? They said that would happen, but that the nerve block should still be in full effect for another couple of hours. I can get a nurse.”
I shake my head, reaching up to hug him back. “No, I’m just so . . . happy.”
I feel his cheek move against my hair, and I know he’s smiling. “I’m so happy too, Rose,” he whispers, and I can feel the warmth of tears on his cheeks too. “Thank you so much.”
I think I say something else, but I’m not sure because the next time I wake up, I’m in a different room. Looking around, I see Nic holding a little bundle as he sways back and forth, pointing out the window and whispering. “Those are birds. They fly around and live in trees. Oh, and they like to poop on cars, people too, if they get a chance. Trees are those big green blobs you probably can’t even see over there. But they’re fun to climb. Maybe we can plant one in the front yard for you.”
He keeps talking, and his soft chatter sharing the world outside with our daughter makes me smile. She’s a lucky girl, and so am I. “You know that babies are totally shortsighted for like, the first month or so, right?”
Nic glances back at me and smiles when he sees that I’m awake. “Never too early to start. Amelia, this is Mommy.”
He holds up our daughter, and I swallow. She’s so beautiful that I want to cry.
“Here you go. I’ve been telling her all about you. She’s excited to meet you.” He lays the bundle in my arms, and I get to see my daughter for the first time. It’s overwhelming how much I love this little baby, my heart literally walking around outside my body.
“Hi, Amelia, it’s Mommy. I love you so very much, baby, and I’m glad you’re out here to see this big world and all that it has to offer you. I can’t wait to show you all the awesome things you can do and be, experience the world through your eyes, and get to know you. I love you, my little Jelly Bean.”
I rub her cheek, pulling her hat off to see her full head of hair, dark like her daddy’s, but her skin seems fairer, like mine. With her little pursed red rosebud lips, it gives her a Snow White appearance, and I wonder if she’ll be at home in the forest with critter friends like her dad is.
Nic sits down on the bed beside me, careful not to jostle me since my belly is pretty sore. Jeez, I’m supposed to walk out of here in a few days? Someone must have helped themselves to my pain killers to come up with that crazy ass idea. “This is my favorite memory ever, right here, right now,” he says before he kisses my forehead, then Amelia’s. He leans back, looking at me while I mess with my gown. Amelia wants some milk and I want to see how it feels. “Do you remember right before you went under in the OR?”
I shake my head, everything a little fuzzy from the medications. “Everything is sort of mixed up, unless I really did take a swim in some butter pecan ice cream.”
“Butter pecan?” Nic asks, raising an eyebrow. “Nope, but I did ask you to marry me, to be my wife, and to make our little family a little more official.”
I smile, recognizing that the intensity of that moment had gotten to him, leading him to jump in deeper than intended. “You didn’t have to do that. I love you, Nic. And we are a family, no matter what. It was just the heat of the moment.”
He shakes his head, reaching over and stroking Amelia’s head before returning his attention to me. “I’ll admit, the moment did get to me. I didn’t plan to ask you like that, but I did plan to ask you. And I think you might have mumbled yes right as you went to sleep. You going back on that?”
He’s playful, light, but I see the seriousness in his eyes. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the most stunning ring I’ve ever seen, dropping to one knee beside the bed. “Oh, Nic.”
“Rose, you have given me everything I didn’t know I wanted . . . your heart, a daughter, a family. My home is wherever you are, whether that’s one place for the rest of our years or a million places. It’s you and Amelia. Us. Always. I love you. Will you marry me?”
The tears are gushing down my face as he speaks, and I nod wildly. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you. I’d given up on the fairytale-happy ever after dream, but somehow, you gave it to me anyway. I love you so much.”
He stands, leaning over to lean his elbows on the bed, cradling me and Amelia carefully, kissing me fiercely and powerfully before sliding the ring onto my finger. “I love you.”
We spend the rest of the afternoon mostly talking about our plans, distracting me from the ache in my belly until, just as the sun touches the horizon, there’s a light knock on the door. Before we can call out, the door opens slowly and Brad and Trey stick their heads in.
“Hello, Mama Bitch. Or was it Bitch Mama? Are you taking visitors?” Brad asks, smiling. “We’d have come earlier, but Nic said you were too doped up for visitors.” He gives Nic an evil look, but there’s a hint of humor behind it.
I adjust a little, making sure I’m covered and trying to slick my mess of hair into something resembling anything other than a messy rat’s nest while chuckling. “Of course, come in, guys.”
They come in and beeline for the baby in Nic’s arms, making cooing noises. Nic looks over at me almost helplessly, making me laugh lightly. “I guess I can see the priority here.”
Brad’s eyes don’t leave Amelia, but Trey looks at me sheepishly. “How’re you doing, Rose?”
I smile through the pain as I adjust myself, using the motorized bed to sit up a little more. “I�
�m doing awesome. Look at that baby girl we made. She’s worth all the rest!”
Trey gives me a nod and comes over. “When you need it, I’ll get you feeling good at your own pace. Don’t worry, you’ll be looking great.”
Brad looks up at Trey, grinning. “Speaking of looking great, hang tight, gotta fix her up.” He reaches into the bag he’s carrying, pulling out a little pink hat along with what looks like a special hairbrush. He gently pulls the hospital-issued cap off and with feather-light touches, strokes Amelia’s hair into soft waves before putting the pink hat on. “I knew they’d have her in one of those blue- and pink-striped generic hats, so I brought one more befitting. And voila.”
He moves back, and I can see that the beanie is pale pink, but there’s a hot pink tiara printed on the front of it. “Of course. How would I ever doubt you’d be the first one to give the Princess her crown?”
He mock bows to Amelia, stepping back. “Your Highness, your world awaits.” Straightening back up, he claps excitedly, looking at Nic. “Now, gimme that baby.”
Nic hands Amelia to Brad, who turns to Trey, and I see the bond between them stronger than ever. Beyond all the differences in their styles, beyond their unique points of view, they really are adorable together and I’m happy they’ve found each other. Trey seems to balance out Brad’s melodramatic ways, and Brad adds a little bit of crazy to Trey’s rigidly structured life.
Mentally jumping around the thought of finding each other, I clear my throat pointedly. “Hey, Brad, did you see this?” I hold my hand out to him, flashing the ring his way. His jaw drops, delight obvious on his face as he passes Amelia to Trey, who takes her comfortably, looking like he could someday want one himself.
Brad rushes over to me, snatching my hand and oohing and ahhing as he tilts my hand this way and that to see the diamonds at every angle. Then he turns to Nic, grabbing him and planting kisses on each cheek. “Congrats, of course, but what the hell, man? We talked about this . . . picnic, sunflowers, down on one knee at sunset. She laid it all out there for you like a damn recipe.”
Baby Fever Page 17