by Leslie Gould
She nodded. “I must have said something to Salome that she interpreted that way, but it’s not how I felt. I can see now how hurt you must have been when you believed I’d rejected you, especially after all you’d been through.”
They rode on in silence, but then Jesse pulled his hand down over his mouth and tugged on his beard. Finally he said, “I did write you a letter because I wanted to hear it from you, in writing, that you no longer cared about me. Honestly. I sent it but never heard back.” He turned toward her, and for a moment she could see his kind, clear eyes.
“I never received it. I promise.” Her heart sank. All the mail for both the Dawdi Haus and the big house went to the box on the highway. Salome was the one who usually collected it. Had she not given Noelle a letter from Jesse on purpose?
They reached the covered bridge. The light dimmed as the beat of the horses’ hooves grew louder on the bare wood. “I’m sorry,” he said, “that you never received it.”
She nodded. She was sorry too.
“Instead,” he said, “I went out with the Englisch girl a few times, which was enough to know that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“I thought maybe you went out with her because she was more fun than I was. More outgoing.”
Jesse turned toward Noelle, his eyes appearing as if they were stinging in the cold. “But I always had so much fun with you. . . .”
Noelle stared straight ahead, not sure whether to believe him or not. “What happened after you dated the Englischer?”
“I met Alana.”
Noelle continued to stare straight ahead as they came out of the bridge. Of course his wife had a name. It stung for half a moment—until she recognized her jealousy. The woman was Greta’s mother. Jesse’s wife.
“I admit,” he said, “ that Alana and I probably married too soon. I was hurt. She needed someone to help her. I needed to pour myself into someone, something.”
“Was something wrong with her?”
Jesse frowned. “She had the same thing Greta does.”
“Oh no,” Noelle said.
He nodded. “But we didn’t realize how dangerous it was until she hemorrhaged after the birth.”
“Oh, Jesse.” All of her jealousy dissolved in an instant. “I can see why you’re going back.”
“Going back?”
“To Montana. With Greta. You want to be closer to Alana’s family.”
“Who told you that?”
“Barbara.”
He smiled wryly. “Nothing has changed in Lancaster County, has it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Assumptions. Gossip.”
“You aren’t going back?”
He shrugged. “Jah, I’ll go back to visit. I want Greta to know her grandparents and all of that, but Barbara misunderstood. I want Greta to have better care than Alana had.”
“What do you mean?”
“She inherited Alana’s disease. It’s called Von Willebrand, a blood disease, and it’s somewhat common among the Amish,” he said. “I plan to do everything I can to make sure my daughter gets all the care she can, close to the doctors who know what she needs. Noelle, I’m staying in Lancaster County.”
CHAPTER NINE
Dat beamed when Noelle opened the door and he saw Jesse carrying her empty crates.
“Come in,” Dat called out. “Can you sit for a while? Maybe have supper with us?”
Jesse thanked Dat for the invitation but said he needed to get home, joking, “I don’t want Greta to forget who I am.”
Dat nodded sympathetically. “She has a good father.”
Noelle thanked Jesse and walked him to the door. He gestured outside, and she followed him out onto the stoop. “I have a gift for you too.” He pulled a six-inch rectangle-shaped box wrapped in white paper from the pocket of his coat and handed it to her.
“Denki,” she said, surprised he would give her anything. “Should I open it now?”
He nodded.
She unwrapped it, opened the top flap of the box, and saw it was a red vase. Exactly like the one he’d given her before.
“Your Dat said the other one broke.”
“Jah.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, not sure if she was more surprised that Dat remembered the vase was from Jesse, that Dat had mentioned it to Jesse, or that Jesse had found another one just like it for her.
She looked up from the vase and met his eyes.
He smiled. “Merry Christmas.”
“To you and Greta too.”
“And happy birthday.” He smiled again.
“Denki,” she said.
As Jesse headed out to the wagon, Noelle stepped back into the house, fighting back her tears. Jesse King was a good man. If only she hadn’t doubted that three years ago.
She took off her coat, took a deep breath, and then turned toward Dat. “I have good news. At least I hope so.” She hung up her coat and explained that they could use the market kitchen and dining room for their Family Christmas. “I hope it’s not too late to notify everyone—and everyone can still make it.”
Dat grinned and grabbed his cane. “We need to call your sisters.”
“I was thinking I’d make the calls tomorrow.”
“No, tonight.” He took a step toward her. “First we should go speak with Salome and get her on board.”
“Ach.” Noelle hurried to Dat’s side. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
Dat nodded.
“All right.” Noelle wasn’t so sure, but she’d do it for Dat. “I’ll go harness the horse.”
“I think I can walk,” he said. “I have to go nearly that far to get to the phone shed.”
“I can make the calls,” Noelle said.
He shook his head. “I’d rather.”
After they’d bundled up, they started out into the night. Noelle shone a flashlight with one hand and hung on to Dat with the other. Thankfully it hadn’t snowed any more that day, so the path was clear.
Dat talked about his day with LuAnne and her brood. “I am a little sad you are done with the market,” he said. “It has been good to spend time with the little ones.”
They stopped at the phone shanty so Dat could catch his breath. He literally leaned against it. “We could go ahead and make the calls,” Noelle said. “And then I can go over to Salome’s and tell her.”
“Nee.” Dat’s voice shook a little. “We need to keep going.”
They stopped one more time, at the gate to Paul and LuAnne’s backyard. While she waited for Dat, Noelle turned her attention toward the house. LuAnne stood at the kitchen window as Paul came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her growing middle and nuzzled her neck. LuAnne leaned back against him.
Noelle quickly glanced away, but the image stayed with her—as did both the longing and the ache in her heart.
When they reached the Dawdi Haus, Noelle knocked while Dat struggled to catch his breath. “Dat,” she whispered, “are you all right?”
He nodded but couldn’t speak and still couldn’t when Salome opened the door. “Dat,” she said, “is everything all right?”
He nodded.
“What’s the matter?”
“He needs to talk with you is all.” Noelle tightened her grip on Dat’s arm. The truth was, she needed to speak with her sister too. “May we come in?”
Salome, wearing a thick sweater over her dress and apron, swung the door open, and Dat toddled in, with Noelle holding firmly to him. Moriah sat curled up on the sofa in her robe with a scarf on her head, reading The Budget Newspaper. She looked as if she’d been crying.
“Are you all right?” Noelle asked. Clearly her talking the other day hadn’t cured her of her grief, but of course it would take more time.
Her niece nodded, put the newspaper down, and scurried off the couch and toward the hall.
“Is she ill?” Dat asked.
In a chilly voice, Salome said, “You could say that.” Then she asked Dat for his coat.
He shook
his head but then sat down on the sofa. “We can’t stay long. I just need to give you an update.”
“On?”
“Family Christmas.”
“Oh, that. We’re not having it this year.”
“No, we are,” Dat said. “Noelle found a place. The dining hall at the market.”
Salome crossed her arms. “What an odd place to meet.”
“I think it is perfect,” Dat said. Noelle guessed it had been years since he’d been there, and it looked totally different now, but she appreciated his support.
“I’m going to call the other girls,” he said. “And tell them.”
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Dat glanced from Noelle to Salome. “I was going to wait to tell you this, but my health isn’t well. This could be my last Christmas—”
Salome waved her hand toward him. “I know you’ve grown weaker, but are you serious about your health being bad?”
“Jah,” Dat answered. “The doctor said my heart is failing.”
Salome wrinkled her brow. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Concern washed over her face. “But maybe everyone should visit you in small groups over Christmas.” She nodded toward the hall. “Moriah is having a hard time with it being a year since Eugene died and all.” Salome continued, her voice still low. “It’s a hard anniversary. We’ve been really worried about her.”
“Mamm!” Moriah appeared in the doorway to the hall, sounding more like herself than she had in over a year. “Stop trying to protect me. Jah, I’m going through a rough time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want all of us to get together. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“But you don’t want to be around all those couples. And babies. You told me it was hard for you.”
“Jah, it’s difficult. But it’s harder not to be.”
Salome bit her lower lip and then asked, “What do you mean?”
“You don’t listen to me. You guessed at what I meant and then jumped to a decision.”
Noelle couldn’t help but think that Salome had done the same thing to her all those years ago. But at the same time she could see that Salome was trying to protect Moriah. Had she been trying to protect Noelle in some way too?
Moriah continued. “If you’d asked me about whether or not to have the Family Christmas, I would have said I wanted it.” She crossed her arms, in exactly the same stance as her mother. “I thought you didn’t want it because of your back and how much work it is.”
“Well, my back is still sore, but you’ve been so sad, so—”
“Depressed?”
Salome nodded.
“Well,” Moriah said, “I’ll be a lot more depressed on Christmas Day sitting around here than being with our family.”
Our.
Family.
The two words rang like the Christmas Market bells in Noelle’s head.
“We need to all be together,” Noelle said to Salome, thinking of Family Christmas a year ago, right after Eugene died. Moriah was surrounded with care and love. “We need to be together because we need each other.”
And in a family, it was important to speak the truth. It was time for Noelle to stand up to Salome about something that really mattered. She cleared her throat. “But like Moriah, I need you not to make assumptions about me and not to speak about me to others.”
Salome’s expression hardened. “What are you talking about?”
“Jesse. Word got back to Montana that I wanted nothing to do with him, when, in fact, I still thought I’d spend the rest of my life with him.”
Salome’s face reddened. “Marrying him and going with him when Mamm was so sick would have broken your heart. He left you when you needed him most.” She paused for a moment and then said, “You never say anything critical about anyone, but even you said how hurt you were. He didn’t deserve you, Noelle.”
After reaching for Dat to steady herself, Noelle finally responded, her voice shaky. “We were in a rough patch was all. I shouldn’t have said anything to you, but you shouldn’t have said anything to anyone else, especially not Barbara. And I need to know this: Did a letter from him come for me?”
Salome lifted her hands. “I was only trying to protect you.”
A sob rose from Noelle’s chest and she gasped. “You had no right.”
Salome rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers and was silent for a long, long moment. Finally, she said, “All right—you’ve said your piece.” She turned toward Moriah. “You too.” Then back toward Noelle. “I’ll try to do better, for both of you.”
Noelle exhaled. “Denki.” It was probably as close to an apology as she would get from Salome.
Moriah’s heavy eyes met her mother’s. “I’m glad we’ll have Family Christmas this year.”
Salome responded with a quick nod.
After a long pause, Dat said, “We had better go.” He turned toward Salome. “Merry Christmas. We will see you on Wednesday.” He turned to Noelle as she helped him stand. “What time?”
Her voice still shook as she spoke. “Our usual—four o’clock.” That gave everyone time to travel.
Moriah still stood in the doorway to the hallway. She called out to Noelle and then said, “Denki.”
Noelle smiled slightly. “Would you come bake with me on Monday?” Her voice was still unsteady. “I have orders to fill. I’d love to spend more time with you in the kitchen.”
“I’d like that. I’ll see you then.”
Thankfully Salome didn’t ask about the orders. Noelle would tell her later.
Once they were in the phone shed, Dat patted Noelle’s shoulder and sat on the stool inside. “I am sorry about the miscommunication concerning Jesse.” He wouldn’t call it gossip, but it was clear he understood what had happened.
Noelle smiled at him, grateful for his care.
He went ahead and made the phone calls. Noelle was surprised that he knew the phone numbers of all of her sisters from memory. She thought that was something only Mamm kept track of. He left the same message on each machine—that he wasn’t well, that he wanted one last Family Christmas, and that it was scheduled for four on Christmas Day at the market.
After he made the last call and hung up, he said, “I need to make one more call, but the number is escaping me.”
“Who, Dat?”
“I want to leave a message for Jesse, to invite him and Greta.”
“Ach, are you sure?”
“Jah.” Dat looked up at her with his pale blue eyes. “If you don’t mind.”
Noelle smiled, just a little. “Actually, I’d like that.”
On Christmas Eve, both Steve and the woman who’d ordered pies stopped by to pick them up. Noelle was thankful for Moriah’s help making them and was sure she could expand that part of the business for next year. Perhaps for Thanksgiving too.
That evening, Dat sang “Happy Birthday” to her and gave her a card from the collection Mamm had always kept on hand. It was a sweet moment, which she was grateful for. Her eyes teared at the thought of him not being around much longer.
“How are your friends?” Dat asked. “Did they make it to Mexico?”
“I hope so.” Noelle tucked the card back into the envelope. Carlos had said it was over two thousand miles to where they were going. “I’m going to call Holly after I’m done with the dishes.”
“Go call her now,” Dat said. “I’ll clean up.”
Obviously, Noelle didn’t hide her shocked expression because Dat chuckled and said, “Happy birthday.”
She slipped into her coat and boots and hurried out to the phone shed. The big house was all lit up, and she imagined the fun the children were having.
Holly answered after the first ring. “Noelle? Is that you?”
Noelle laughed. “It’s me.”
Then they both said, “Happy birthday” at the same time, followed by laughter all around.
“Are you at your grandmother’s?” Noelle asked.
“Well, we would
be if someone hadn’t gotten lost.”
“Who was navigating?” Carlos called out. “Or who was supposed to be?”
“True.” Holly laughed again. “We’re about an hour away.”
They talked some more about Holly and Carlos’s travels, and then about their time together in the market. “Call me on Thursday,” Holly said. “And let me know how your Family Christmas was.”
“And you can tell me about yours too,” Noelle answered. She was sorry Holly had left Lancaster County but glad she’d be with her mother and grandmother. There was nothing like family.
After they said their good-byes, Noelle started back to the house. As big fluffy snowflakes began to fall, she turned her head up to the inky sky. A single star shone between the clouds. Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign. . . . She couldn’t help but smile in gratitude.
On Christmas afternoon, Noelle checked her purse to make sure she had the key Steve had given her. Then she and Moriah helped Dat out to the buggy that they’d already loaded with supplies and food for the Family Christmas meal.
As Noelle spread a blanket over Dat’s lap, he looked her in the eye. “Denki,” he said, “for making all of this possible.”
She nodded in return and then smiled as he patted her hand. Hope, joy, peace, and faith. She’d found elements of each this Christmas. She prayed she could carry them into Family Christmas.
She took the back roads to the market. When they arrived, she turned on the lights and the heat first and got Dat settled in a chair, wrapping a blanket around his legs. As she and Moriah unloaded the buggy, Paul and LuAnne and their kids arrived and, surprisingly, Salome and Ted too. Noelle hadan’t expected them until later.
The stove in the kitchen was new and easy to use, the counter space was ample, and everything was sparkling clean. Noelle, Moriah, LuAnne, and Salome chatted away as they got to work putting the turkey, hams, and pans of mashed potatoes in the ovens to heat, starting the gravy, and opening jars of applesauce. Thankfully, Salome wasn’t gossiping. But what Salome said next completely caught her off guard.
“We had our best year ever at the Christmas Market.” Salome kept her head down as she sliced a loaf of bread. “Even with missing one day.”