The Million Dollar Gift

by Cheree Alsop

  Grandpa Clark drove them along a little-used road with cracked pavement that eventually turned into snow-covered dirt. He steered the sedan along the rural road with the ease of someone who had taken the same path so many times each turn had become a habit. They wound through the foothills until the dirt road faded into little more than two tire paths through the white powder. Grandpa Clark followed the path to the edge of the hill, then shut off the engine.

  Chase climbed out and limped gingerly to a low, worn brick wall that marked the look-out point. The top of the hill behind them was flat and broad. In front of the wall, it sloped down to give an expansive, spectacular view of the valley. Wind tangled in Chase’s hair. He breathed deep of the fresh, crisp air, filling his lungs as full as he could before he let it out again. He couldn’t remember the last time he had visited a place so beautiful.

  “This is amazing,” he said softly.

  Grandpa Clark leaned against the low wall. “It’s my favorite place in the whole world. In fact,” he pointed near Chase’s left side where the wall ended and a patch of unbroken snow lay. “That’s where I proposed to my wife, and it’s also where my son proposed to Penny.” His breath of satisfaction fogged in the air. “This spot marks the beginning of a million amazing memories.”

  Chase smiled at the look on his face. “Thank you for taking me here,” he said, touched.

  Grandpa Clark gave him an understanding smile. “You looked like you could use a few good memories.”

  Chase nodded and turned back to the view, his mind captured by the small houses below nestled comfortably amid the frozen streets. Smoke drifted from chimneys and several specks worked to clear their sidewalks of snow. Skyscrapers loomed beyond, brooding and still in the crisp light of day. The city looked peaceful and complete, something he had never imagined until now. It was as if everyone had a place and a purpose. Each speck was cared for and loved, each home a place for family. Chase’s heart gave a sudden, aching throb.

  “I brought you here to show you that good things can start from the simplest of places,” Grandpa Clark said as if he guessed Chase’s thoughts. “You’re not alone, no matter how you might feel.”

  Chase was silent for several minutes before he took a calming breath. “When my family died in that accident,” he began. His throat tightened. He swallowed and continued, “I felt truly alone. Life floated on around me unchanged, but I couldn’t look anywhere without something reminding me of my mother, or my sisters or brothers.”

  “How about now?” Grandpa Clark asked gently.

  An unbidden smile touched Chase’s lips. “My mother would have loved this view.”

  Grandpa Clark nodded. “My Molly loves it so much. Since the day we got married, I’ve been promising I’ll build her a home here.” He chuckled. “It’s been fifty years and she still replies by saying I’d better hurry and learn carpentry.”

  Chase smiled at the love in his voice. “She’s a wonderful lady.”

  Grandpa Clark nodded, then he indicated the sign on the other side of the wall. “Unfortunately, this place is soon to be bought up for high rises and apartment buildings. The city has plans to expand development within the next year if they find some buyers.”

  Chase saw the ‘For Sale’ sign he was talking about, then noticed several other yellow signs poking through the snow along the hillside. “They’ll get quite a view.”

  Grandpa Clark nodded. “This is a view that can change your life.”

  Chase watched him quietly, knowing by Grandpa’s tone that he had more to say. There was clarity in the older man’s eyes and a certainty that went with living life and learning the lessons instead of letting them pass by. He knew he needed what Grandpa Clark had to teach.

  Grandpa smoothed a hand along the brick wall to dust away the snow. He glanced at Chase. “I wasn’t worthy of Molly by a long shot, but I didn’t let that stop me. I had to push aside reason and fact and go with my heart, and I’ve never looked back.”

  Grandpa Clark rubbed his eyes as they filled with moisture. “Chase, son, this is the place where one decision changed my entire life. I took my shot, and it was a long shot, trust me, but it was worth it.” He smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners. “She was far above me and I didn’t deserve her, but I chose to look past my own shortcomings and try to accept the potential she saw in me.” He met Chase’s eyes. “I have been the happiest man on earth for fifty years because of one decision that changed my life.”

  Chase didn’t know what to say. Grandpa Clark’s words hit so close to home he couldn’t respond. He shouldn’t stay with the Clark family. He wasn’t worthy to sleep on their porch, let alone be a welcome member in their home. He should leave and let them enjoy their holiday together, but something kept him there.

  Grandpa Clark nodded as if he knew the whirlwind of Chase’s thoughts and turned back to the car. They drove down the road in comfortable silence. Chase thought about Grandpa Clark’s words the entire way. When they pulled up to the Clark home, he couldn’t help the slight longing he felt to belong to it. He got out of the car and crutched slowly to the door. Part of his mind said he should leave before he got too involved, but the other half longed to experience what a few days with the Clark family could be like.

  Grandpa Clark checked the swan mailbox, then walked up the steps with a handful of card-shaped envelopes oblivious of the war inside Chase’s mind. He opened the door and turned back with a warm smile. Despite his misgivings, Chase limped back into the gingerbread-scented home.

  ***

  At Mrs. Clark’s urging, Chase went with them to the skating rink though he knew there wouldn’t be much for him to do. He ended up having a great time reffing a game of balloon broom hockey from the sidelines while he held little Paige. It only took him about two seconds to convince Ilene to let him hold their little girl so she and Samuel could play. Even Grandma and Grandpa Clark laced up some skates and glided slowly around the outside of the rink while the others enjoyed their game.

  A few hours later, Ilene and Samuel left to take the children for Christmas photos. Chase was lying back on the bench in the players’ box when the gate opened and Clara limped in. “Are you okay?” he asked, sitting up quickly.

  She nodded, but when she stepped on her right foot, her expression said otherwise. Chase helped her to the bench and knelt down, hiding a grimace from the quick stab of pain in his knee. He proceeded to unlace her skate and gently remove it. “What happened?”

  Clara shook her head, laughing at herself. “Dad and the boys get pretty competitive in broom hockey, but I blocked their shot!” She sighed, “Then Mom accidentally tripped me even though we’re on the same team. The guys versus girls challenge might not be the brightest idea, but somehow we end up doing it every year.”

  Chase laughed, “You were fine with Ilene there.”

  “Yeah,” Clara agreed, grinning. “She shows everyone up when it comes to aggression.”

  Chase nodded in agreement. He prodded her ankle gently with her heel resting on his knee. She winced a couple of times.

  “What a stupid way to get hurt, huh?” she asked, followed by, “Ouch!” when he touched a particularly sensitive spot.

  Chase shook his head with a wry smile. “There are worse ways.” He rose gingerly and sat on the bench, motioning for her to lie down while he worked on her foot. Before she could, though, he took off his coat and handed it to her. “A pillow for your head,” he explained, turning his attention back to her ankle.

  She took it and settled back. After a few moments of silence, she said, “You’ll freeze out here without a coat on.”

  Chase looked at her with a smile on his face. “There are worse ways to be cold,” he said. He massaged her foot slowly, working out to her toes, then starting above the ankle and massaging downward. Clara was quiet; he could feel her watching him as he worked, but he didn’t dare look up to see her expression.

  “You okay, babe?”

  Chase glanced up. Eric had skate
d over and was leaning on the railing. Chase kept his face expressionless. He had forgotten Eric was on the ice, and wondered what he thought of them together.

  Clara simply nodded. “Yeah, I just twisted it a little, that’s all.”

  Eric nodded. “I’m playing on the girls’ side until you get back. Me and your mom are kicking some trash!” He looked at Chase. “Get her better. We need her if we’re going to take on the Terrible Trio.” He laughed at the team name Mr. Clark had chosen.

  “Will do,” Chase replied. Eric skated off, his broom over his shoulder. “Nice guy,” he said quietly after a few minutes of silence had passed.

  Clara nodded. “Yep,” was all she said.

  Chase could feel the strangeness in the air. He changed the subject, testing the range of motion of her ankle. “My clinical impression is that you have a mild sprain, but I’ll refer you to Nurse Clark for further diagnostics if you’d like.”

  Clara sat up, a slight smile on her face. “No, I think you’re right, Dr. Brockson. I’m just glad they don’t have to amputate.”

  Chase shrugged, looking thoughtful. “Well, we could, just to be safe.”

  Clara laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. She handed him back his coat. “Put this on before you freeze.”

  Chase obeyed. “Well, there’s one positive thing out of this,” he said in a serious tone.

  “Oh, really?” What’s that?” Clara asked curiously.

  Chase grinned. “We already have crutches.”

  She laughed and stood up, testing her ankle. She looked at him, surprised. “Actually, it feels a lot better. Thank you.”

  “Any day, m’lady,” Chase replied with a half bow. “But I’d recommend icing it when you get home.” He then looked around. “Actually, you already had it on ice. That’s where this whole problem started. I’d better advise against it.”

  Clara opened her mouth in offense. “Are you calling me a klutz?”

  “Are you standing there with a sprained ankle?” Chase countered.

  She folded her arms and tried to keep the smile from her face. “Mom tripped me.”

  Chase pursed his lips thoughtfully. “That’s a new one,” he said, fighting to keep from smiling as well.

  Clara laughed and sat back down. “You know,” she said after a few minutes of comfortable silence had passed. “You’re fun to hang out with when you’re not so solemn.” She glanced at him quickly, concerned she’d hurt his feelings. “Is that okay to say?”

  Chase nodded. A warmth touched him at her words that was better than any coat. “You can say whatever you’d like. I don’t get offended easily, and I value your opinion.”

  “You do?” she was surprised.

  “Greatly,” Chase replied. They sat together on the cold bench until the others were worn out and ready to go home. Though Chase offered her his crutches again, she refused them with a laugh and limped out to the car with Mr. Clark’s help. Chase sat in the back of Mrs. Clark’s car and watched Eric lift Clara up into the truck. She glanced back at him and when she found him looking at her, she smiled and twiddled her fingers in a small wave. He watched them drive off feeling more confused than ever.

  Chapter 7

  On the way home, Chase and Martin started talking about guitars again. When they finally reached the house, Martin motioned for Dad not to park in the garage, then he practically dragged Chase inside. He kick-started a large, obviously well-used space heater in an effort to start warming up the area. When he flicked on the light, Chase saw three guitars in the corner by a trio of worn amps. Martin picked up a red, scuffed Ibanez. “They’re not much, but they play.”

  “What more do you need?” Chase asked, and was rewarded with a grin from Martin. The teenager handed him a blue Jackson with a tie-dye peace sticker near the pickups. Chase flicked on the amp and tuned it by ear.

  Martin did the same. He pointed at the bass guitar left in the corner. “That’s Jerry’s. We jam here since his parents kicked us out for being too loud.”

  “That’s cool your mom lets you play in the garage,” Chase said, impressed.

  Martin nodded.

  “How do you do it?”

  Chase and Martin both turned to find that Daniel had entered the garage and was sitting on the cold steps watching them.

  “Do what?” Chase asked. It was obvious by Daniel’s frustrated stare at the floor that what he was asking was important to him, so Chase didn’t push the subject when it took a few minutes for the seventeen year old to reply. He took his time and toyed with the strings, testing his tuning. Martin was quiet and kept his attention on his guitar. He had picked up a rag and, taking a seat on his amp, began to shine it.

  Daniel kicked at a small clod of dirt with his toe, then ran a hand through his dyed black hair. “How do you act so normal,” he finally said in a tone that was filled with pent-up anger. “How do you pretend like nothing happened when your whole family died?” He rose and paced in front of the stairs as if the frustration he felt made it hard to sit still. “How can you just forget them and act like nothing happened?” He finally stopped and stared at Chase accusingly, his chest heaving as if he’d just run a marathon.

  Chase felt the wall rise up inside him, the partition he had created long ago to protect himself from the same memories Daniel fought. He forced it back down and as he ran a hand along the guitar’s smooth blue frame, he felt the emotions assail him again as mercilessly as if his family had been taken yesterday. The feelings flowed through him, threatening to burst his careful composure.

  He closed his eyes and began to play the guitar in his hands. His fingers worked slowly at first, remembering the feeling of the cool strings and the gentle hum of sound through the painted wood. He took a breath and let it out slowly, sending his emotions into the guitar and letting the music unfold. He played the sounds of his sorrow, his agony, of being lost and alone, forgotten and abandoned, a child no longer but unable to control his life.

  The music flowed in heartbreaking waves that mirrored the anguish and despair he kept at bay. His fingers were raw by the time he stopped, and the last notes whispered around the room in haunting memory.

  Chase opened his eyes, suddenly aware that he wasn’t alone. He met Martin’s awed gaze. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever-“

  “Comfortably Numb,” Daniel cut his brother off in a voice just above a whisper. “The solo from the live version.”

  Martin nodded, suddenly recognizing it. “Pink Floyd. I’ve never known anyone who could play that.”

  Chase’s eyes shifted to Daniel’s. “I’ve never forgotten,” he said past a tight throat, “And I could never pretend that nothing happened.”

  Caught off guard by Chase’s honesty and haunted, bare tone, Daniel lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

  Chase shook his head. “Don’t apologize; you have nothing to be sorry for.” His own brow creased and he met Daniel’s eyes. “Most people who say they know what you’re going through don’t, but I do. When my family died, I put my father through heck. I broke every rule and got kicked out of every boarding school he sent me to.” He shook his head. “It was only later that I realized I was doing it because I was mad at him for pushing me away and shutting out the last remaining shred of family we had in each other. I was hurting and I had nowhere to turn.”

  Chase touched the nicks in the guitar’s frame, his chest tight. When he continued, his voice was quiet. “It was only a long time after that I realized why my dad pushed me away.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Out of all my siblings, I was the one who looked the most like my mother. He had to keep me away because when he saw me, he saw her and it brought the hurt back all over again.”

  “What did you do?” Martin asked.

  Chase sighed. “I pushed all the feelings deep inside, the pain, sorrow, and loss that I couldn’t face by myself, but had no one around to help me cope. I stopped feeling anything but anger and frustration.”

  “How did you
get out of it?” Daniel asked quietly.

  Chase shook his head. “I didn’t. I let it destroy me. I lived without caring about what I did or the consequences of my actions. I made some pretty horrible choices and pushed my father’s buttons until he literally threw me out in the street with nothing.”

  Chase studied the reflection of his hand on the face of the guitar, his eyes distant. “I didn’t feel anything until I heard your sister scream.” He stared at the guitar, seeing that moment with perfect clarity. “I had two choices. I could either escape from the three men who would be back to kill me when they were through with Clara and Matty, or I could go to the source of the scream and face the consequences.”

  Chase smiled wryly. “I’ll have to admit, escaping with my life seemed pretty close to the right decision. I even started walking away.” His tone grew softer. “But something stopped me. It was as if a voice said in my head, ‘Chase, you get one shot to make something of this sad charade you call a life. Walk away now and risk nothing, or go back, risk everything, and do something worth while for once.’”

  Martin, and even Daniel, laughed with him.

  Chase spread his hands. “So here I am, or at least all that’s left of me.” He looked at Daniel. “I’ve never forgotten. The loss of my family beats through my veins every waking moment and haunts my sleep as soon as I close my eyes.” He shook his head. “That’s not a good way to live, and I don’t think my family would be proud of what I’ve done and who I’ve become.”

  Daniel was silent for a moment. When he finally spoke, Chase had to lean forward to hear him. “Then what do I do?”

  “Live,” Chase replied. “Don’t stand still and watch your life go by as I did. Live for Ryan, for his memory, and for his life. He wouldn’t want you to destroy yourself in his absence.”

  Daniel’s eyes filled up with tears. “But how?”

  “Play, love, laugh, feel, sing,” Chase said. He rose and put a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Do all those things you did with Ryan, so that you don’t forget the joy that can come from it. You’ve got to let the hurt out so you can feel again. And when you move on, you’ll realize that’s exactly what Ryan would want you to do.”