Her mother crossed her arms. She didn’t look angry, just perplexed. It was almost as though Naomi’s words weren’t fully sinking in.
“Don’t tell Dad yet,” Naomi went on. “I want to tell him myself. And please don’t hate me or think I’m wrong or bad or going to hell. I’m not any of those things. I’m just me and I’m just trying to be happy and be myself. I need to make these changes to really start to find myself. I hope you understand.”
“Honey… you’re gay?” asked her mother skeptically.
“Yes,” said Naomi. “I am.”
“I just… all right,” said her mother. There was a look of sadness and confusion moving over her, and it made Naomi feel sad and confused as well.
“I’m gonna go,” said Naomi. “I’m packing some things right now, getting ready for the move. I’m not sure exactly when we’re going to move, but probably in the next week or two. I’ll let you know.”
“Thank you, dear.”
“All right,” Naomi said, feeling the weird tension in the room. “I’m going.” She offered a consolation smile, and her mother half-smiled in kind. With a small wave, Naomi turned from where she stood in her parents’ kitchen and she exited the same way she entered. She felt better that it was out in the open, but she still didn’t feel good.
Naomi took her time walking back down to her cottage in the backyard. She had ripped the bandage off, and she was still feeling the sting of it. When she had played it through in her mind, she imagined her mother getting angry when she told her that she was gay, or getting defensive or confrontational. But she was just disappointed. She acquiesced. It made Naomi feel disheartened, when all she really wanted to feel was acceptance.
When she opened the door to the cottage, waiting for her on the other side with a big expectant smile was Gretchen. Gretchen lit up the room, and she lit up Naomi’s life. The discouragement she had just been feeling evaporated when she saw her girlfriend, and Naomi’s smile grew to match Gretchen’s.
“Well?” Gretchen asked. “How did it all go?”
When Naomi unloaded all of her news to her father later on, his response was similar to how her mother had reacted. It was mostly just tight-lipped disappointment, and it hurt Naomi to sense this. But it was far better than her worst case scenario. Both of her parents were positive about her going for a better job and moving out on her own. Surprisingly, her mother had been a little more upbeat about Naomi coming out, even going as far as to say that it was important for Naomi to be herself, but it was still obvious that their religious beliefs were causing them confusion in how to process their daughter’s truth.
Still, Naomi felt much better. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted from her. And suddenly it began to make sense to her why she had been living in such a state of arrested development. It had been impossible to launch her life when she was hiding such a secret, and it stunted her growth as an adult. But now, with her sexuality out in the open—at least with her family—and Gretchen by her side, life was taking on a new color for Naomi. The future looked promising.
In what felt like a throwback to their big hike, the girls sat together on the top step of the staircase that lead to their new joint apartment. They had spent the morning moving Naomi’s things from the cottage at her parents’ place, and were now taking a break for water and snacks. Each had their own wide-mouthed water bottle and a small bag of trail mix. Although it was now September, it was still quite warm in Traverse City and they were dressed similar in short polyester running shorts, tank tops, and sneakers. They both wore their hair up, and Gretchen had a cap on. Naomi’s cheeks were pink and she tilted her head back to take a big gulp of water.
“It’s hotter than I thought it would be today,” she mused.
“Yeah, it’s really warmed up this morning,” agreed Gretchen. “It might be a rough afternoon moving my stuff over from the other building, seeing as I’ve got the bulk of the furniture.”
“Is your bed heavy?”
“It’s not bad,” said Gretchen. “It’s memory foam, and there’s no box spring. So it’s not as heavy as a normal bed.”
“How are you feeling?” Naomi asked. “Okay?”
“I’m okay,” said Gretchen. “It is tougher than I thought carrying this stuff up two flights of stairs in the heat. When I moved, it was colder out.”
“I feel like it wasn’t even this warm in Maine,” said Naomi, now laying her head on Gretchen’s shoulder.
“Well, we were kind of up in the mountains there,” Gretchen replied with a laugh. She then turned her face and kissed Naomi on the head.
“That’s true.”
“But don’t worry,” continued Gretchen. “This will be all over before you know it. And we’ll order a pizza and have a cold beer and relax in our new apartment together.” She smiled big, and as her words set in, Naomi also grew a big smile.
“That’s right,” Naomi said. “I’m so happy about it.”
“I am, too,” said Gretchen. “It’s amazing.”
“Some days I feel like I’m dreaming,” Naomi conferred. “These past few weeks—ever since we returned from the hike, actually—I can’t tell if I’m living in reality or if I’m in a dream. Pinch me.”
“Okay,” Gretchen said, reaching over to Naomi’s side and moving in to follow her command.
“No, no!” Naomi countered, already laughing. “Don’t pinch me.”
Gretchen did anyway, pinching Naomi’s side and making a big production of it. Naomi squealed and batted her hand away.
“I’m too ticklish!” Naomi burst out.
“Then you shouldn’t have said anything,” Gretchen warned with a wry grin.
“Just kiss me, okay?” said Naomi.
“I can do that,” Gretchen said. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to Naomi’s and they sat there on the step for a few tender moments, kissing one another with joy in their hearts.
Things were moving fast, but Naomi felt like she was making up for lost time. When you feel like things are going your way and you’re living your dream, it’s easy to be impatient because you want it all. And Naomi was certainly eager to have it all. Her phone interview with the credit union had been great, and they invited her down to Lansing to meet in person. In addition, Gretchen had called up her old boss Jodie and put in a glowing recommendation for her girlfriend. It actually felt good to talk to Jodie, and it reminded Gretchen of the good times she had at the job rather than some of the more tedious. Jodie also put a bug in Gretchen’s ear.
“I know you’re off doing your own thing,” Jodie had said. “And I respect that, even though we do miss you around here. I mentioned to Dale that I had heard from you and he looked like a lightbulb went off over his head.”
“Yeah?” Gretchen replied with interest.
“Dale was recently promoted to management in mortgage lending,” Jodie continued. “And he wondered if maybe you would be looking for a job up there in Traverse City. He thought you’d enjoy the position and had enough knowledge to transition into the mortgage department.”
“Dale said that?” said Gretchen in astonishment.
“He did,” Jodie confirmed. “So if it’s something you would be interested in, you should reach out to him. I know they’re hiring now for when the branches open up there.”
“Okay,” Gretchen agreed cautiously. “Thanks Jodie.”
“No problem,” said Jodie. “And thank you for the recommendation for Naomi. I think she’d be a good fit.”
Gretchen hadn’t told Naomi any of this, as it had only recently happened before their move. But in their break in lugging stuff up the stairs, sitting their on the step trying to catch their breath and reenergize, the thought came to Gretchen that she should share what Jodie had told her.
“That’s awesome, Gretch,” Naomi beamed. “There could be some real money in that. I mean, getting into mortgage lending, you probably get commissions and such. Right?”
“Yeah, maybe,” said Gretchen. “I just don
’t know, though. I really love my freedom of working part-time and being able to go off and do what I please. I don’t know if I would have been able to hike the 100 Mile Wilderness if I had a full-time job again.”
“And yet you’re pushing me toward a full-time job,” Naomi teased, bumping her shoulder into Gretchen’s with a laugh.
“I just knew you were looking for a change,” said Gretchen. “And it could be really awesome for you.”
“I’m just playing around,” Naomi said and smiled. “But you should reach out to your old coworker and see what his offer is. Who knows? You might even be able to make your own hours and still keep that freedom you love so much.”
“I don’t know,” said Gretchen. “I’m not sure what the job would be.”
“Then call him,” Naomi pushed. “Why not? If it’s not your thing, you don’t have to do it.”
“Yeah,” Gretchen replied. A smile crept over her face. “Okay, I’ll call Dale and see what he says. It has been over a year and a half since I worked at the credit union. I feel like I’ve got some of the angst out of my system.”
“And then we could work together,” Naomi offered, playing the tape forward. “We could go out to lunch together, take a stroll down Front Street, laugh and smile and just generally be awesome together. It sounds pretty good to me!” Gretchen laughed and shook her head.
“You’re hilarious,” she said. “And I love you for it.” They kissed.
“I love you, too,” Naomi responded, a blissful look plastered on her face.
“Do you think we should get back to work?”
“Ugh,” groaned Naomi. “Yeah, probably. I’m still sweating my ass off, though.” She lifted her arm up and used her tank top to wipe the sweat from under her armpit.
“You hiked a hundred miles in the remote wilderness,” Gretchen said in mock-seriousness. “You climbed thousands of feet in elevation. I think you can hike some furniture up a few steps.”
“I know,” Naomi said, grinning. She kissed her lover once more and then she quickly jumped up from where she sat. “So what are we doing now?”
“We’re taking the moving truck across the complex to my old spot, we’re loading it up, and then we’re bringing it all over here,” Gretchen said, she herself now standing.
“I’m ready,” Naomi said. “Hold on.” She poured the rest of her water into her mouth and then sighed in refreshment.
Stepping up onto the landing, Naomi walked into their new apartment and approached the sink to refill her water bottle. She looked around the mostly empty apartment, some of her own boxes piled up in the living room, a few of them sitting on the kitchen counter, and she smiled wide to herself. This felt like such an incredible new beginning for Naomi, and it made her feel just as she felt when she had hiked up those high mountains in Maine. It was a similar feeling of accomplishment. And to Naomi, accomplishment wasn’t something she was used to feeling. It felt great on her.
Turning from the sink, she caught Gretchen watching her with a happy smile on her face from the open door. Naomi, still smiling herself, recapped her water bottle with a plucky spin and sashayed over to her best friend in the world.
“Okay,” she said. “Now I’m ready.”
Gretchen sat out on the porch, overlooking a pond with a fountain spouting out a cascade of water. She was home alone for now, as Naomi had made a run to her parents’ house to take care of a few things, though she would be back soon as they both had work at Dune City in just about an hour. Gretchen looked down into her phone for a few moments as she contemplated what she was about to do. She thought back to the hike and she meditated on how it changed her. Compromise and balance were important, something she had difficulty with in the past. But now, her life was starting to feel like it was taking shape. Being with Naomi felt like a missing piece of a puzzle.
After quenching her thirst with a glass of iced tea, she navigated through her contact list and quickly found the name she was looking for. Gretchen hit the call button and she raised the phone to her ear. She waited as it rung.
“Midwest Michigan Federal Credit Union,” said the voice. “This is Dale Vernier, how can I help you?”
“Dale,” said Gretchen. “It’s Gretchen Slate. How are you?”
“Whoa, Gretchen Slate,” Dale replied. “How in the heck are you?”
“I’m good,” Gretchen said with a smile. “Really good. I was talking with Jodie recently and she said you might want to talk to me.”
“Right!” said Dale. “You were connecting your girlfriend to Jodie for a potential job up at our new branch in Traverse City.”
“That’s right,” Gretchen said. “And she told me you were promoted.”
“Yeah, I’m a manager now in the mortgage lending department,” said Dale. “It’s awesome. I moved out of the branch office and I’m now at the main office. I’m loving it.”
“Congratulations,” Gretchen offered. “That’s great, Dale. I’m really happy for you.”
“And they put me in charge of starting the lending program up there in TC,” he said. “We’re getting so close to the grand opening, it’s really sneaking up on us.”
“When should the branches open?”
“A month maybe,” said Dale. “Definitely by the end of October. We’re just waiting on the construction crew to complete the build outs. We’ll have one location down on Front Street, and another a bit further out in Garfield Township. I’ll have both branches staffed with loan officers. And that’s why I mentioned to Jodie that I might like to talk to you.”
“All right,” said Gretchen. “Let’s talk.”
“You’re obviously really good at client facing work,” said Dale. “You were always a friendly and helpful teller and our members liked you. Everybody in the branch liked you.”
“That’s nice of you to say.”
“Being a loan officer is similar,” he went on. “You’re working a bit more intimately with our members, but you’re helping them through some complex things and helping them with—let’s face it—the biggest purchase of their life. It’s always good to have a friendly face in that role, someone they feel like they can trust and feel comfortable around. I think that’s you.”
“You know, I really don’t have much experience in mortgages,” Gretchen countered. “I haven’t even bought my own house yet.”
“Don’t worry about that,” said Dale. “We’ll train you. It’s more about the personality, and you’ve got that. We know you’re trustworthy and reliable, because you’ve already worked with the credit union for a number of years. I just want to put it out there that I think you’d be great in the position and we’d love to have you back.”
“One of the reasons I left, Dale,” Gretchen admitted. “Was that I was looking for a change, looking for more time to myself, more freedom. I recently did a huge hike out in Maine. A hundred miles in the wilderness over six days. That’s not an every day kind of thing, obviously, but I’d really like the freedom to take longer stretches like that off to go on big trips and have those experiences. You know what I mean?”
“Absolutely,” said Dale. “I think we’ll be able to work it with HR so that if you came back, you’d get to keep the seniority and your allowed PTO from your previous time working with us. So you would have a decent amount of vacation days. Plus, being a loan officer, you are a step up in the organization and eventually—relatively soon, actually—you would probably have four weeks of time off for PTO. That’s pretty good, right?”
“Yeah, it’s good,” Gretchen agreed.
“Obviously, I’m not going to beg,” said Dale. “You should do what you’re going to do. But I knew you moved up to Traverse City, and we always got along, and I know you were a good employee of the credit union. So if you want to come back and work for me, I can make it happen easily. You won’t even need to apply. I can email you the offer and as soon as you sign it, we’ll reactivate you and you’re back. That’s it.”
“Wow,” Gretchen said, car
efully thinking about it. As much as she had loved her time working slower, less professional jobs, Dale’s offer was enticing. Now that things were going well with Naomi, that they had got a place together and were really getting closer, it felt like it made sense to start building a life together. And Gretchen had turned thirty. Part-time, lifestyle jobs wouldn’t cut it forever. It was a tough decision, and she would definitely have to think harder about it.
“Tell you what,” said Dale. “I’ll send you our offer tomorrow, with whatever addendums need to be made for your seniority within the company, and you can think it over. You can call me with any questions or concerns. We’ve got a little time on this, but like I said… we’re looking at opening in just about a month, and I really need to get a few more people in as loan officers so we can start expanding up north. That sound good?”
“Yeah, Dale,” said Gretchen. “That does sound good. Thanks for thinking of me. I’m going to think about it and I’ll let you know very soon, within a couple of days of receiving the offer. I promise I won’t leave you hanging.”
“Excellent,” said Dale. “I’m really looking forward to working with you again, Gretch. And maybe I can get you into a house of your own soon enough.” Gretchen laughed.
“We’ll see,” she said. “Thanks again. I’ll talk to you soon, Dale.”
“Take it easy, Gretchen,” he said. “Have a great day.”
Gretchen hung up her cell phone and placed it down onto the small patio table in front of her. She smiled gently and stared out into the pond, absently watching the water feature do its thing amid a cool breeze wafting in to her apartment balcony. Everything felt so idyllic and easy. Maybe she had found what she was looking for, and the universe was giving her a second chance to embrace her old career in a new way. She had run away to find herself, and it really felt like the risk was paying off.
She heard the apartment door unlock inside and she turned her head to look through the screen door from the balcony. In walked Naomi, dressed casually in summer clothes to beat the heat, carrying a single box under her arm. Naomi caught Gretchen looking and she waved, prompting Gretchen to smile and wave back. Shutting the door behind her, Naomi tossed her car keys onto the counter and set her box down. She then sauntered over to the screen door, opened it, and stepped outside on the porch.
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