by Rylee Swann
Satisfied that the fire burned steadily, Shawn handed Kyle a knife that he’d grown accustomed to carrying. “Go get us some dinner.”
With a smirk that said, “can’t do it yourself?” Kyle set off. He came back around thirty minutes later with a good-sized rabbit.
Throwing it to the ground at Shawn’s feet, he sat and cleaned the blood off the knife in the grass before handing it back. “I catch, you clean.”
Shawn set to the distasteful task of skinning the rabbit, splitting it open, and removing the innards. Finding a sturdy branch, he stuck it through the carcass and began roasting it over the open flame as Kyle laid on his back, gazing up at the blue sky that peeked through the canopy of trees. The fire hissed and spit, soon sending the mouthwatering scent of cooking rabbit to his nose.
“How are things back home?” Shawn referred to the time period Kyle had chosen to live in as “home.”
“Good. We’re still at war with those damned Huron, so that’s good for a laugh when they try to steal our supplies.”
Shawn grunted his approval, and Kyle came up on an elbow.
“We stole a few of their women recently. One of them is promising, although the Huron aren’t too happy about the loss. She might not be there when I get home.” Kyle sat up and shrugged feigned indifference. He nodded toward the rabbit. “That smells about ready. Cut me off a hunk.”
Shawn used the knife to hack off a piece of meat and handed it to Kyle. They sat in quiet contemplation as they chowed down on the meal.
“What’s her name?” Shawn asked after a while. He hoped his brother could find happiness with a woman. Kyle had experienced a lot of bad luck lately. Two Shawnee maidens in a row had left him, one dying of disease and the other stolen in a raid, events which had made him even more jaded than Shawn.
Kyle muttered a couple of words in their native language that translated to, “Doesn’t matter.” He sat up and wrenched a leg off the rabbit carcass, biting into it as grease ran down his chin. Waving the leg to encompass the area, he said, “It feels like home here. It’s damned good to see you, Shawn. I’ve missed your skinny ass.”
Shawn nodded, not bothered by the good-natured brotherly jibe.
“You gotta come back for a visit once this little mess you’re in here is all straightened out,” Kyle said.
“I will.”
Kyle’s gaze shot up to his brother’s face. “Promise me.”
“I promise, honest Injun.”
Shawn got a laugh for that, but the back and forth reminded him of Rayna, and his heart squeezed in his chest.
Shawn and Kyle took turns tending the flames and telling stories long past sunset, stretched out alongside the fire to soak up its warmth. The birds and insects settled for the night, leaving their makeshift campground in total silence until the lonely heartrending howl of the wolves began.
“You sure you won’t be missed in the village?” Kyle asked when the wolves paused in their song.
“Not as long as I don’t miss the morning meeting.”
“Good.” Kyle made a pillow of his jacket and soon fell asleep.
Shawn woke with the birds and stood, stretching the kinks from his body. Kyle had left sometime during the night. He had expected this—neither Kyle nor he were good with goodbyes—but looking at the spot where his brother had slept made him feel incredibly lonely.
He stamped on the ashes of their shared fire, burying any remaining embers, and then, with hunched shoulders, trudged back to the longhouse.
He needed to get this damned situation here straightened out so he could move on. Get back to what mattered.
Rayna.
20
Alec Connor entered his boss’s office with his shoulders straight and head up, despite the fact that he was nervous as hell.
Months had passed since he’d given Shawn the okay to proceed with his first mission and sent him to Canada. No one had expected the assignment to take this long, and now Alec was being called on the carpet.
Alec’s boss was a fit and imposing man in his late fifties with steel gray hair and sharp blue eyes. His crooked nose was perched upon his face like a hawk about to go on the attack. Thin lips were turned downward, not a good sign at all.
He sat behind an L-shaped executive desk in the pristine corner office. Without looking up from a thick manila file, Staff Operations Officer Brock Edwards motioned to one of two chairs in front of his desk. “Operations Officer Connor, take a seat.”
Alec sat, instinctively taking the chair nearest to the door.
One of two black rotary phones on the desk rang, jangling Alec’s already frayed nerves.
Edwards picked up the receiver and barked, “What?” into it. He listened for a moment then continued in the same volume and tone. “No, dammit, no. That’s unacceptable. I’ll have his damned head on a platter if he doesn’t cooperate. And you can tell him I said so!”
He slammed the receiver back down into its cradle and returned his attention to Alec. His eyes radiated both strength and disgust, and Alec resisted the urge to fidget under that gaze.
“Any update?” Edwards seemed to bellow, although he hadn’t raised his voice.
Alec sighed inwardly. Edwards had required daily updates from the beginning, which had changed to hourly reports a couple of days ago.
“No, sir,” Alec said, keeping his voice strong and level.
“Then what in the ever-loving hell is going on?” He stabbed a finger into the file. “A quick in and out. An intern would have been back by now.”
“Sir, I have several operatives working on this. Shawn Paros never checked out of his hotel, but nothing of his was left behind. The last time any member of the hotel staff can place him there was approximately five days after his arrival.”
Edwards knew all of this already, though. It was in the report on his desk. But Alec had nothing else to give him. There were no leads.
Shawn had disappeared into thin air.
“That damned son of a bitch. Listen, Connor, this is on you. You vetted this damned Paros. He should be in a damned dungeon and not out there making fools of us. Find him and eliminate him, understood?”
Alec found it hard to nod his understanding of the directive but forced himself to regardless, not being in a position to go against his commanding officer. The order went against all of his instincts. He didn’t believe—or didn’t want to believe—that Shawn had used them. He couldn’t even think of a reason why Shawn would. He hadn’t been given the chance to obtain any useful information during his detainment. He’d been sequestered, locked away most of the time.
None of this made any sense, and what Alec wanted was a chance to talk to Shawn, but when it came down to it, he’d have to follow orders and eliminate him.
“And, while you’re at it, Connor, find out who Ramón’s next assassination target is. Where you find Ramón, you might find Paros.” He slammed shut the file folder—Alec’s cue to leave.
Which he did, posthaste.
Rayna Newman couldn’t wait for it to be quitting time at the nursing home where she’d gotten a job, and the hands of the clock creeped forward with agonizing slowness until they at last read five p.m.
Heaving a sigh of relief, she grabbed her purse, waved to her fellow employees at the nursing home, and made a quick beeline for the exit. She found it exhausting to keep up an outward appearance of calm happiness—especially for the residents she helped take care of—when instead restlessness, worry, and fear were her constant companions.
A few months had passed since anyone had heard from Shawn, and this was always at the forefront of her mind.
Alec had suggested she try and get on with her life until Shawn’s return. So, she’d buckled down and taken her final nursing exams. She’d passed with flying colors and was now a full-fledged nurse. She’d been thrilled when she applied for and got the job at a nursing home in Chelsea, on the West Side of Manhattan. The job wasn’t near enough to the covert ops building she’d been staying at
, and she had felt a sense of pride when she started looking for a place of her own.
She’d already given up her lease on the Long Island rental where Shawn had come barreling into her life. That apartment had come furnished and Alec had gotten someone to pack up her meager belongings a while ago.
Alec had fought with her about the move, and when she stood firm on her decision, he finally gave up. He had no legal reason to keep her from leaving the covert ops building. Instead, he again intervened to help her and acquired a one-bedroom apartment for her on the ninth floor of a doorman building in Chelsea. The rent was far above what she could afford, but Alec had told her not to worry about the expense.
Dashing out onto the busy New York City sidewalk packed with people rushing home from the nine to five grind, she collided with Alec, who helped her stay on her feet. “Hey there. I was hoping to catch you. Not literally, of course.”
Looking up at him as she regained her balance, she hoped with desperate intensity that he had encouraging news.
“Alec! Have you heard something?”
The light faded from his eyes and he sobered. “No,” he said with a solemn shake of his head. “Everyone who can be working on it is, I promise you.” He reached for her hand but came just short of taking it into his. “I uh...thought it would be nice to walk you home.”
“Oh.” Dejected, she turned in the direction of her apartment.
Alec kept pace with her as she dodged the onslaught of people vying for real estate on the crowded sidewalk. She kept her head down, holding her lined jacket closed as gusts of November wind swirled around them. The breeze picked up trash from the street, carrying fast-food wrappers and flyers high into the air, and forced empty soda and beer cans to roll in a clatter in front of them.
Bending his head close to her ear, Alec tried to engage her in conversation. “How was your day?”
She stopped and gazed up at him. “Please, Alec, I simply can’t bear any more polite small talk. If I have to pretend to be nice and accommodating for another second, I think I’ll go mad.”
“I’m sorry.”
Rayna nodded, redoubling her efforts to get to her apartment as quickly as possible.
They walked in silence the rest of the way, leaving Rayna free to think, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. With Alec’s daily bad news her fears for Shawn’s safety increased exponentially. He’d been gone for too long, and no one knew where he was. Would this be her life now? Forever wondering what had happened to the man she loved?
No, she couldn’t bear to go through life this way. There had to be an explanation for his disappearance.
Maybe he’d needed to time travel unexpectedly and was delayed in coming back.
She sighed as she dodged a woman carrying a bunch of packages and half dragging a screaming eight-year-old behind her. Rayna realized Shawn could be anywhere and doing anything and that her uninformed guesswork would get her nowhere. A headache started to pound behind her eyes.
She arrived at her building a few minutes later and gratefully stepped inside with a quick wave to the doorman. She looked forward to the relative silence of her apartment.
Alec followed her into the lobby and stood beside her as she pushed the Up button for the elevator. She glanced at him with raised eyebrows.
He avoided her eyes, glancing up to note the progress of the elevator. “Is it alright if I come up with you? I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes.”
She wanted to decline. Despite how much she enjoyed his company, she was about done in. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself onto her bed and cry, then shore herself up so she could attempt to live her life for another day. But she couldn’t refuse him. She liked him, and he was her lifeline to Shawn.
Nodding as the elevator arrived, she waited for a couple of passengers to disembark before stepping in and pressing the button for the ninth floor. Alec followed, leaning against the back wall as a few more people got in before the doors closed. So many people, going about their business without a care in the world, while she worried herself sick about a time traveling alien assassin.
Madness.
Crazed laughter bubbled up in her throat, and she stifled it with a pretend cough.
Once in her apartment, she threw off her jacket and dropped her purse onto a chair.
“Can I get you something?” she asked as she went into the kitchen and filled a tea kettle with water.
“No, thanks. I’m only staying for a few minutes.”
She set the kettle on the stovetop and turned the gas up all the way. Going back into the living room, she found Alec perched on the edge of the couch.
His forearms rested on his knees, a pained expression clouding his features. “We should talk.”
She didn’t want to. He was planning to tell her terrible things she couldn’t bear to hear. If he said them aloud, all the fears she’d been keeping bottled up, afraid to speak of, would be true. There was no coming back from that.
She leaned against the wall at the entrance to the kitchen and remained silent. If she didn’t give him permission, maybe he wouldn’t say anything. Stupid idea, but a girl could dream.
“Maybe you’d be more comfortable taking a seat?” Alec motioned to the couch, but she shook her head.
“I’m waiting for water to boil for tea. I’m fine here.”
He nodded and ran his hands through his blond hair. “So, I take it you know this is going to be a serious conversation?”
Rayna nodded, not trusting her voice.
“Okay, I…” He met her gaze with a helpless expression. “This is hard for me too. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s the last thing…” He stared down at his hands for a moment, and when he raised his head, his was the face of the agent, the secret agent capable of torturing and killing for his country. She saw it in the hardened glint of his eyes, the grim set to his lips. “My boss thinks that Shawn screwed us over, and he’s pissed off, to say the least. I got my ass handed to me in a meeting with him this morning.”
Rayna sucked in a breath. Alec spoke with such cool detachment; it must be a trick of the trade. She’d seen Shawn do the same thing, become emotionless and all business. She guessed shuttering any emotion was the only way men like them could cope with the horrors of killing, and torture, and living undercover for months at a time.
“What do you think?” she managed to ask without her voice breaking. If Alec thought the same, that meant nothing she’d shared with Shawn had been real. He’d used her and dumped her without blinking an eye.
No, that couldn’t be. She had to hold on to his promise when he’d willingly told her three times that he’d come back.
“I…” Alec coughed, and then cleared his throat. “I don’t think what my boss thinks. Shawn ripped me a new one after I tried to tell you how dangerous this mission was. He didn’t want you to know. Didn’t want you to worry needlessly.”
Rayna swallowed hard. “And…?”
“He wasn’t the first we sent. They didn’t come back either. We accepted their losses, gave them heroes funerals, and…”
The kettle chose that moment to screech out an invasive signal that the water it contained had started boiling.
Startled, Rayna jumped and raised a hand to Alec, palm outward. “Don’t say it.”
Turning on her heel, she went back into the kitchen. She turned off the burner and moved the kettle to a cool spot on the stove. Her vision blurred with the painful sting of tears as she reached in a cupboard for a mug. It crashed to the floor, sending shards of green and white ceramic everywhere. The tears came fast and furious, and a wail of anguish burst from her lips as she dropped to her knees to pick up the larger pieces.
Her hands came up to her face, and suddenly Alec was beside her, on bended knee, pulling her toward him. She collapsed against his chest and he held her in a tight embrace.
“Let it out, Rayna. Just let go. I’m here for you.”
She buried her head against his shoulder, her gaspi
ng sobs muffled but physically painful as they erupted from her. Alec held her, one hand smoothing her hair as she soaked his shirt with her tears.
Finally, she pulled away, sitting back on her heels. “I’m sorry.”
She offered an awkward half smile.
“There’s no reason to apologize,” Alec said in a low, comforting tone. “You have every right to feel what you’re feeling.”
She wiped her face free of tears and dried her hands on her pants. “It’s still embarrassing.” She reached out to touch his shirt where the stain of her tears made an unsightly wet blotch. “I ruined your shirt.”
A soft smile appeared on his face. “It’ll dry.” Taking her hands in his, he brought her up to her feet and led her to the couch. “Take it easy on yourself, Rayna. Okay?”
She heaved a shuddering sigh and sat, sinking into the cushions, but her muscles refused to relax.
Alec sat beside her and turned to her with terrible sorrow in his pale gray eyes. “I hate that I’ve done this to you, but you need to know something. I haven’t given up on Shawn yet. I am still doing everything possible to find him. What I said earlier...it’s only one possibility I thought you should be prepared for.”
“Thank you.” She looked away. She knew there was something else. Something he wasn’t saying. One of the other possibilities that was even worse. The only way to face it was head on. She turned back to Alec, meeting his gaze. “Your boss thinks he disappeared on purpose, right? That’s what you said. So, if...when you find him, you’re supposed to kill him, aren’t you?”
New tears rolled down her cheeks, but she’d gained control, and they fell silently.
Alec grunted like he’d been gut-punched, and he broke free of her gaze. “Yeah, that’s what he wants, but it’s not what I plan to do. When I find him, I’m bringing him in.”
“Unless he gives you no choice…”
“It won’t come to that,” Alec said with defiance. “I saw the two of you together. He wants to come back.” He held up a preemptive hand. “And, don’t say, unless he can’t. Let’s stay optimistic.”