by Dale Mayer
“And starts are all we have.”
She smiled. “You used to say the darnedest things sometimes,” she said. “You’d get all philosophical, and I’d wonder who this person was, sitting beside me, and then you would revert back to being just you.”
“It’s always just me,” he said, chuckling. “Every once in a while though, I’d start wondering about life, the universe, and what the heck we’re meant to do with our time here.”
“Well, if you ever find out,” she said, “please let me know.”
“Don’t you ever wonder if you’re on the right path?”
“All the time,” she said, “but my goals were ones I felt I needed to do right from the beginning. So, having made it this far, I can’t say I’m unhappy with where I’m at in life.”
“No,” he said, “I’m in the same boat. I wish I had skipped out on the accident and that I was still in the navy. I expected to be a career seaman, but life happened.”
“And you have to find something to replace it now,” she said.
The waitress returned with menus and topped up their coffees and left again.
Laurie Ann looked up at him. “Do you have any news on the War Dog?”
“No,” he said. “I stopped here last night on my way home, but it was noisy, noisy enough to scare off Sabine. A large group of people had what looked like barbecues going at several trucks on the tailgates. They were settled in, even though the truck stop owners didn’t appear to be too happy about it.”
“Ah, well, it’s not exactly what you would call a tailgate party, but maybe they were traveling through and didn’t really have a place to go.”
“Maybe. I thought I caught sight of the gang of kids as well,” he said, “but, when I headed in their direction, they scattered.”
“So it may have been them?”
“May have been. Yes, I did send Amos a text about it.”
“You told him that you got shot?”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Nope, I didn’t. Do you think he would believe me or would he just put me in the troublemaker category again?”
“It’s been thirteen years,” she protested. “Surely every kid’s allowed to grow up.”
“No, I don’t think so,” he said. “Small towns, once you are tarred and feathered with a certain brush, I don’t think they see you any differently.”
“That would be sad,” she said. “Everybody deserves a second chance.”
“Maybe, I certainly think so, but obviously your parents don’t.”
“I know,” she said, “but that’s their loss. They have no relationship with Jeremy either.”
“Does he ask about them?”
“He did at first, but I told him the truth, and now he doesn’t ask anymore.”
“Good,” he said, “he’s learning.”
“These are hard lessons though,” she said.
“They are, but those are the lessons that you and I both had to learn too.”
“I know.” She stared moodily out the window. “You always want to protect your kids, but it seems like there’s nothing that you can do to stop them from getting hurt, no matter how hard you try.”
“And I’m not sure we have that right,” he said slowly. “When you think about it, it’s usually through being hurt that we grow.”
Her smile peeped out. “There you go with that philosophical stuff again.”
“Yeah, sometimes,” he said, “but just think about it. I wouldn’t be who I am now if I hadn’t gone into the navy. It wasn’t easy, but I went there eagerly, knowing that it was the right thing for me. Maybe I knew I would end up with a bullet between my eyes pretty damn fast if I didn’t change. I don’t know. What one does has consequences. But what would have been the consequences if we hadn’t gone ahead and done what we did? Imagine if you and I hadn’t come together? Jeremy wouldn’t exist.”
“I know,” she said. “I thought about that a lot while I was struggling to pay the bills.”
“Ouch,” he said, “and I can only tell you that I would have been more than happy to help out.”
“And I think I was also being somewhat stubborn and trying hard to do it on my own, as if I wanted to prove to my parents that I didn’t need them either.”
“And that’s pride,” he said. “I understand that one fully.”
“Not too many would,” she said with a smile. “My sister didn’t. She thought I was being willfully difficult.”
“She was pretty difficult back then, as I recall.”
“Yeah, she was, but I still love her. She is my sister, and I love her even more because, even though she didn’t approve and didn’t agree with my decision, she sucked it all in and helped me out anyway.”
“And your parents still have nothing to do with you and Jeremy?”
“No, not really. Every once in a while there’s a phone call to make sure I’m alive on the planet. I still send them emails for their birthdays, but I don’t do anything more than that.”
“The fact that you even do that much,” he said, “is amazing, given the hardships they’ve put you through.”
“They didn’t put me through anything,” she said firmly. “I’m the one who got myself in this condition, and I’m the one who refused to go down their suggested pathway.”
“Well, you didn’t get there alone,” he said, “and I’m sure they have absolutely zero interest in seeing me, but I will try not to hold it all against them.”
“You don’t need to,” she said. “Jeremy’s thirteen now, and we’re doing just fine.”
“You’re doing more than fine,” he said warmly. “I’m very impressed.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know why,” she said. “He can be a handful sometimes, but he’s a good kid.”
“And that’s what you have to hang on to during the next four, five years. Could be interesting, but, as long as you never regret the decision you made, then that’s all that counts.”
“How can I regret it?” she asked. “He was the reason I kept going. Because of him I went to med school, following that dream. Back then I thought it was for me, but I also realized I couldn’t give him anything if I didn’t get a better education.”
“You’re also blessed,” he said with a smile, “to be absolutely brilliant. Not everybody could have made it through med school while raising a child.”
“I am lucky,” she said. “School was always easy, although med school was a bit of a challenge.”
“A bit?” He shook his head. “Most people would be screaming at you right now for that comment.”
She chuckled. “I know, and I did have some people who weren’t very happy with me finding med school somewhat easy,” she said with a shrug. “It’s a good thing it was easy because I don’t know if I would have made it otherwise. Keeping up all the studies and the exams, along with the demands of having a child, wasn’t easy. A couple other moms and dads were in my school. We tended to hang out, as we understood exactly the problems we were all facing. I was the only single parent though, and yet, because of my sister, I was doing almost better than they were.”
“Right, because a marriage can be a hardship to try to not blame the other person for.”
“Well, my sister already blamed me, so that was an easy one,” she said with a shrug. “But she was always there. When I needed a babysitter, she was a live-in babysitter. When I needed shopping done or groceries brought, she would stop and pick up stuff on her way home. We had two rooms in her house, almost like a suite but not quite. We shared the kitchen with her. She couldn’t be bothered to cook most of the time, preferring takeout, so that left the kitchen pretty well for me. I couldn’t afford the takeout, and I wouldn’t ask her for it. She was already keeping a roof over our heads without collecting a dime. Going to med school was already enough of a financial strain,” she said. She shook her head, looked at him, and said, “So enough about all of that. What about you? Where do you go from here?”
“Well, life’s looki
ng up apparently,” he said. “I have a date for dinner on Saturday. I can’t remember the last time I went for a barbecue like that.”
“I’m sure you always had dates,” she scoffed. “You were an incredibly well-loved man when you were here. I’m sure it was the same in the navy.”
He laughed. “Well, let’s just say, an awful lot of willing females were in our high school. But, once I met the one, I never did stray.” He looked up at her, frowned, and said, “You know that, right?”
She nodded slowly. “It’s one of the things I never doubted, never questioned about you.”
“Good,” he said with a note of satisfaction.
“I don’t think anybody else around me believed it though,” she said.
He winced. “No. I’m sure they didn’t. It was much easier for everybody to blame me for all the ills that went around in the world and make me look even worse than I actually was.”
“You also played into that,” she accused him. “You loved that everybody thought you were such a badass.”
“I was a badass,” he said in protest.
She burst out laughing. “You were, indeed,” she said. “Now how about the dog?”
“Well, I got the staff here to agree to call me whenever they see any sign of her,” he said, “and I’ll meet Amos again in about an hour,” he said, looking at his watch.
She glanced down at hers and sighed. “And I’m off to work. I never did order breakfast.” She gathered up her purse to pull out some money for the coffee.
He reached a hand out and said, “Coffee’s on me.”
She smiled. “Thank you.” She stood and, with one last look, said, “Don’t get into trouble, huh?”
He smiled back and said, “Well, if I do, I know where to come to get patched up again.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t,” she said. “I had a lot of nightmares last night about you as it is.”
“Nightmares?” he protested. “You’re supposed to dream about me—but not like that.”
She burst out laughing and was still grinning when she made her way to her car and later into her office. One thing about the relationship with him, he’d always had the ability to make her smile. And a whole lot of worse things were in life than that, she reminded herself.
Kurt was just finishing his coffee, thinking about what to do for the next hour before his meeting with the detective, when his phone rang.
“Hey, it’s Jim down at the truck stop,” his caller said. “I think I just saw the dog in the back corner here.”
“I’m here already,” Kurt said. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m in the back section, doing inventory,” he said. “I just saw a huge golden dog. So, if you hurry, she’ll still be around.”
Kurt got into his truck and pulled in to the back and headed around to the gas station area, and Jim stood there, staring in the distance. Kurt parked beside him, hopped out, and shook his hand. “Thanks for the call,” he said.
Jim pointed into one of the thicker areas of the brush. “I swear to God she was just there a few minutes ago.”
“Good,” he said. “Let me see if I can talk to her.”
He headed back to the truck, picked up the leash and a collar, and filled his pockets full of treats. Jim watched as Kurt walked calmly toward the thickest part of the brush and slipped in, away from any watchful eyes. Once out of sight, he called out for her. “Sabine, I’m here. I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a rough time, but I’m here, little one.”
He retraced his steps, moving slowly, heading toward the same tree trunks where he had placed some treats before. As he hit every tree, all the treats were gone, although he realized that the birds could have taken them. Yet he’d like to think it was a good sign that Sabine maybe got some too. He quickly refilled three of the spots closest to the building. He didn’t want to put her in any conflict with humans, but he needed to know where she was spending all her time. Then he sat down on one of the fallen logs on the far side and waited.
He heard the rustle of bushes around him, and he completely ignored them, content to just be. He waited, calling her calmly and quietly, telling her that he was here to help make her life a little bit easier and that any time she was ready to come and meet him, he was good with that. His only tool was the sound of his own voice, but she would recognize it fairly quickly and wasn’t one that she would know from her recent history, but life wasn’t always just about negatives.
After a good twenty minutes, he heard more rustling.
He smiled, put out a hand with some more treats, tossed a few into a pathway that he had been staring at, wondering if she would come close enough to take them. So far he had yet to catch a glimpse of her. He wasn’t even sure that it was the right dog he was looking for. But, as he turned around, a pair of glowing eyes were behind a bush.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here.”
And that might have been enough for him, but it wasn’t enough for Sabine. She sat there, staring at him. He was an unknown, and she’d already come up against some ugly unknowns. He tossed some food her way; she looked down at it and then back at him and didn’t move.
“And that’s a good thing,” he said. “You take your time. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to save you. We’ll get you out of this mess.”
And he studied her golden markings to match her up with the pictures he had. It didn’t matter if it was the right dog or not because he would make sure that this one was looked after too, but he wanted to make sure that he caught the right one as well. He sat here and waited, right up to the time of his meeting with Amos, telling Sabine that he had to go. When he stood, she disappeared. He immediately put down more treats for her and said, “I’ll be back in an hour or so.” When he walked back to the truck stop, the detective stood out front, talking on his phone.
Amos hung up, looked at Kurt, and asked, “Now what?”
“I don’t know,” Kurt said in a calm voice. “You wanted to meet me.”
“Somebody said they heard gunshots here.”
“Well, one for sure,” Kurt said in a calm voice.
“Did you fire it?”
“No, sure didn’t.”
“Are you armed?”
“No, I’m not,” he said.
The detective looked at Kurt’s rental truck and looked at him suspiciously.
Kurt stepped back and said, “Go ahead and search it.”
Amos frowned and then shook his head. “Did you see the shooter?”
“I think so, yes, but I didn’t see the shooter in the act to know for sure,” he said. “I think it was one of the punk kids in that five-person gang who hangs around here.”
At that, the detective’s face wrinkled up. “They’ve been nothing but trouble,” he said. “I keep hoping that something will change, and either I can nail their asses to the wall and put them in jail or they’ll turn a new leaf and become decent human beings.”
“How long have they been doing this?” Kurt asked.
“Years. One of them is nothing but trouble.” He slid a sideways look at Kurt. “Kind of like you.”
“Well, I turned out okay,” he said easily.
“Maybe, maybe not. The jury’s still out on that one.”
“Right,” he said, fully realizing that what he had said to Laurie Ann was so true. Once tarred by a certain brush, it was hard to assume a different image. “Still everybody deserves a second chance,” he said.
“And some of them are just bad through and through,” the detective growled. He stared off in the distance. “So what do you know about the gunfire?”
“I know it was aimed at me,” he said.
“Did it hit you?”
He gave him a lopsided glance. “Just slightly.”
The detective’s gaze narrowed. “He shot you?”
“Yeah, took a burn on the shoulder,” he said, pulling over his T-shirt collar, so Amos could see the bandage.
“And you didn’t report it?”
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“No,” he said, “I’m not exactly the most desirable person to be reporting things like that.”
The detective started swearing at him.
Kurt held up a hand. “Stop,” he said. “The days where I have to listen to that shit are long gone. I made a decision not to go to the hospital, not to press charges. It’s just a flesh wound, and it’s not bad.”
“And how are we supposed to ever deal with these kids,” he said, “if we don’t catch them after crap like this?”
“Well, if I could have caught him,” he said, “I would have. Believe me. I’m still looking for him.”
At that, the detective froze and glared. “No vigilante justice.”
“I didn’t say it would be,” he stated, reining in his own temper. But it’s obvious the detective didn’t believe him. Kurt blew out a long breath. “I know you’ve still got a problem with me,” he said. “The fact is, back then, you had a reason, but you don’t now. I’m a completely different person. You don’t have to believe me. I don’t really care, but I don’t want to get shot any more than you want to get shot,” he said. “You can dig the bullet out of the seat of my truck, if you want.”
“Well, if you don’t report this, I can’t pull the kids in for it.”
“Who are these five kids?”
“Well, they’re prime pickings for one of the local gangs,” he said, “who is actively recruiting new members right now.”
Kurt winced. “They have to keep the numbers up.”
“The gang wars have gotten much worse since you left,” the detective said. “Some of it’s pretty ugly stuff.”
“It was always ugly stuff,” he said. “It’s just a matter of time before the ugliness gets younger and younger.”
“It’s here now,” Amos said. “They’re pulling in a lot of teens—fourteen, fifteen, sixteen-year-old kids.”
“And that’s not cool,” Kurt said, thinking about his own son, Jeremy.
“Well, sometimes they get them into these situations, where the kids don’t know how to get out of it. So they end up in the gang, even though they didn’t want to,” he said. “But, once they’re hooked, they’re pressured to stay or are blackmailed into staying, and that just becomes a bad end all the way around.”