Kind of like coming to Ouray. If it hadn’t been for Colton’s behavioral issues, she probably wouldn’t have been so determined to get the kids away from Denver. As a result, Colton’s bad attitude seemed to have disappeared. Her children were happier than she’d ever seen them.
Her gaze inadvertently drifted to Noah. He’d played a big role in those changes. And seeing him here today only bolstered her awareness.
Straightening, she again faced the pulpit. Good thing they already had plans for today. Because the last thing she needed was to find herself at the ranch, being bombarded with wayward thoughts. Her life and her children’s lives were in Denver. Something that was not about to change anytime soon.
After the service, she met the pastor, then led her children outside as they again chatted with Clint. The sky was a gorgeous blue. Birds were singing. The sun was warm. A perfect day for exploring.
“Say—” with Hillary at his side, Clint clapped his hands together with a smile “—why don’t you all come on out to the ranch today? We’ll have lunch, and you can help us get the old farm wagon ready for the parade on Saturday.”
Lily cringed.
“The Fourth of July parade?” Colton’s green eyes sparkled.
“That’s the one,” said Clint. “You kids planning to attend?”
They nodded eagerly.
“Mom showed us a book with a bunch of pictures,” said Colton. “I can’t wait to see the fire-hose fights.”
“Oh, you don’t want to miss those.” Clint nudged his cowboy hat—one that was far more pristine than the one he wore at the ranch.
Lily was still trying to come up with a polite way to bow out when Noah approached with his brothers Jude and Daniel.
“What’s going on?” He eyed his father as if he knew he was up to something.
“Lily and the kids are going to join us for lunch.”
She nearly choked. She hadn’t agreed. Nor did she plan to.
“Clint Stephens—” Hillary elbowed him “—you’re getting ahead of yourself again. Poor Lily hasn’t been able to get a word in edgewise to say if they will or won’t be joining us.”
“He has a habit of doing that.” Noah glared at his father.
The older man looked embarrassed. “Sorry, Lily. The kids and I got a little excited talking about the parade.”
“That’s all right, Clint.” Not that he wasn’t making it extremely difficult for her to say no. Especially with her kids staring up at her with those hopeful expressions. “I thought you kids wanted to go to Ironton today and do some exploring.”
“That was before Mr. Stephens invited us,” said Colton.
“Please, Mommy,” Piper begged.
How was she supposed to say no to that?
“I guess we could do Ironton another day.” She squinted against the sun. “But what about the trail rides?”
“Closed on Sundays,” said Clint.
She nodded. Maybe the wagon would be outside or at the barn instead of the stable. In which case, she really would enjoy helping. After all, a small-town Fourth of July parade was one of those simple pleasures she wanted her children to participate in.
Again, she looked at her kids. Their wide eyes full of expectation. As far as they were concerned, a new adventure awaited. And she couldn’t say no to that.
Her gaze drifted to Noah.
No matter how badly she might want to.
* * *
Noah wasn’t in the mood for company, let alone participating in something that was supposed to be fun. Instead, he wanted to escape from everyone and everything. Yet here he was, on the deck of the ranch house, the aromas of grilling meat wafting around him as he listened to the happy chatter of Lily, Colton, Piper, Hillary and his family, while he barely held it together. Didn’t they realize that the news about Cody still had him in a tailspin?
Of course they didn’t. Because he never told them.
Dad offered up a brief prayer before telling everyone to come and get some food. As usual, his father manned the grill while Hillary, Carly and Lacie saw to all of the side dishes.
Noah peered at the spread, surprised. Was that barbecued chicken? Dad always served beef.
His gaze drifted to Hillary. She must’ve encouraged the old cattle rancher to stop being so stuck in his ways.
Falling in line behind Lily at the food table at the far end of the deck, Noah couldn’t help noticing the way she tried to balance a crutch with one hand and her plate with the other. And though he didn’t want to help, didn’t want to interact or do anything else that might encourage her to start up a conversation, his mother had taught him to do what was right.
“Let me help you with that.” He took hold of her plate. “Just tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.”
She looked up at him, surprise darting back and forth in her green eyes.
He supposed he couldn’t blame her. Not when he’d barely said two words to her all day. Throw in his behavior yesterday and—
“Thank you,” she finally said.
When both of their plates were full, they sat with Piper at one of the picnic tables while Colton joined Megan.
“I really enjoyed the service today.” Lifting a forkful of her broccoli salad, Lily watched Noah suspiciously across the table. As though she knew something wasn’t right.
“Me, too.” He inched farther under the shade of the table umbrella, glad he’d forced himself to go this morning. The uplifting and encouraging message was just what he needed. Even if he couldn’t imagine any good that could possibly come out of Cody’s or Jaycee’s deaths.
Though Lily didn’t say any more, he could feel her gaze probing him, looking for answers as to why he was being so standoffish. Not that it was any of her business.
Why do you feel guilty then?
Because he had yet to give her an answer on that interview. How could he, though, when, as of right now, he wasn’t even certain he wanted to proceed with the rodeo school? Not after yesterday.
What about all your plans? Your dream? You put your savings into that arena. Are you going to let it all go?
His passion had definitely waned. And right now he wasn’t sure he’d ever get it back.
“Everyone, make sure you save room for dessert.” Dad took a seat beside him as Hillary eased next to Piper.
“So, Clint—” Lily wiped her hands on a paper napkin “—is that the wagon you’re planning to decorate?” She pointed to the old farm wagon sitting across the way, beside the barn.
“Sure is.” His father cut a bite of chicken and shoved it in his mouth.
“Have you always used it in the parade?”
“For the last few years we have.” Dad reached for his water cup. “It’s a way to advertise the trail rides.”
“I see.” Lily set her plasticware atop her nearly empty plate. “In that case, why don’t you consider using it to advertise the rodeo school instead?”
“Hadn’t thought about that.” His father tore a slice of bread in half. “Sounds like a good idea, don’t you think, Noah?”
He chewed his last bite of chicken, his irritation growing. He didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to think about advertising of any sort. What he wanted was to saddle Duke and find a quiet place in the woods where he could be alone to collect his thoughts. “I guess.”
“That reminds me.” Lily shoved her plate out of the way. “Do you have a website?”
Noah shrugged when his father deferred to him. “A basic one for the trail rides and riding school. Hours, contact info...”
“Nothing for the rodeo school?” Her brow puckered as she continued to watch him.
“No.” Unable to look at her, he focused on the half-eaten pile of coleslaw on his plate. A few days ago, he might have benefited from this conversation. But things were different now.
> “Not even some info on the existing website?”
He shook his head and blew out a breath, longing to escape. He wasn’t in the mood to talk business.
“In that case, I highly recommend that you have a separate website for the rodeo school. And that you get it up and running ASAP. If we’re advertising, people need to know where they can go to get more information.”
Tension clamped down on his shoulder muscles. “Look, it’s hard enough managing the basic website we have. I don’t have time to come up with another one. Let alone in six days.”
“I get that, Noah.”
His gaze darted to hers, as though longing for someone to understand. He didn’t want to let anybody down. However, the thought of moving forward with rodeo school, something that only yesterday he’d been eagerly anticipating, now terrified him.
She continued, “But in today’s world, you can’t just hang out a sign and expect people to come running. An internet presence is vital.”
“Lily has a good point.” Hillary wiped her fingers. “I know that whenever I hear of something that interests me, the first thing I do is look the business up on the internet.”
“You would.” Dad frowned.
Hillary glared back. “I may be a middle-aged grandmother, but I’m still one hip chick.”
“Middle-aged?” His father lifted a brow. “You planning on living till you’re a hundred and twenty?”
His sparring partner sent him a smug grin. “If not longer.” She returned her attention to Lily and Noah. “I’m not an expert in web design, but I am rather tech savvy. I keep up the website for Granny’s Kitchen and even redesigned it a few months ago. I’d be happy to come up with a website for the rodeo school.”
“Hillary, that’d be great.” Lily’s enthusiasm only amplified Noah’s agitation. “We could get some pictures from Noah’s rodeo days, a bio...”
Sweat beaded his brow.
“That’s a great idea, Lily. Could you help me come up with ideas for the content?”
His heart thundered against his chest.
“Absolutely.”
Fists balled, he pushed to his feet, his breathing ragged. “Enough!”
Looking around, he saw everyone staring at him. His brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces...Lily and her children.
He’d lost control. Something he hadn’t done in a very long time. And he owed them an explanation.
“There’s not going to be a rodeo school.”
Chapter Eight
Lily’s heart went out to the man standing in front of her, no matter how much she didn’t want it to. This was her fault. She’d pushed too hard. Noah wasn’t a businessman. He was a cowboy who loved horses and being outdoors. Her role was to help him. Instead, she’d driven him over the edge.
Clint stood. Laid a hand on his oldest son’s shoulder. “What’s got you so upset?”
Noah’s eyes closed momentarily. When he opened them, he scanned the faces of his family before zeroing in on Lily. “If you’ll please excuse me.”
He turned then, the sound of his boots hollow against the wooden deck until he stepped to the ground and continued down the gravel drive toward the stable.
The lump in Lily’s throat threatened to strangle her. The way Noah had looked at her. The pain and anguish in his eyes and the lines etched on his face. Why hadn’t she noticed them earlier? Instead, she just kept hammering, as though the entire rodeo school hung on advertising and a website.
“What happened, Mommy?” Piper’s blue eyes were filled with confusion, her bottom lip slightly pooched.
She wrapped an arm around her daughter. “Noah’s just feeling a little overwhelmed, that’s all.” Except that wasn’t all. She was certain of it.
Memories of yesterday moved through her mind. His strange behavior when she found him in the storage room. His features had been filled with distress. Much the way they’d been only moments ago.
Hillary inched closer. “You all right, honey?”
“Of course.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Noah’s niece Kenzie approach.
“Piper, want to play ponies with me?” The child pointed toward the other table and pile of colorful plastic horses.
Her daughter’s eyes widened. “Can I, Mommy?”
“Sure, go ahead.” She watched her walk away before returning her attention to Hillary. “Would you mind keeping an eye on my children? I need to apologize to Noah.”
“Well, yes. If that’s what you feel like you need to do.” Warmth mingled with confusion in the older woman’s deep brown eyes.
“I was rude. This was supposed to be a fun day, and I ruined it by talking business.”
“You were just trying to help. We both were.”
“Yes, but for all my help, I only succeeded in making him want to give up his dream.” She stood. Took hold of her crutches. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”
“Doesn’t matter. The kids’ll be fine.”
She passed Clint on her way off the deck.
“Where are you headed?”
Fearing he’d try to stop her, she kept moving. “To apologize to your son.”
By the time she made it to the stable, she was ready to toss her crutches. They might take the pressure off her foot, but they sure slowed her down.
Inside, the smells of horse and hay gave her pause. She had no idea where Noah was, but her first guess would be with Duke. That meant she had no choice but to head for the stalls.
Her palms began to sweat.
You’re doing this for Noah.
With a bolstering breath, she headed down the main corridor before veering off at the row of stalls where they kept Duke.
Save for the occasional sound of horses, the place was silent.
“Noah?”
Somewhere farther down, a horse nickered. But there was no sign of Noah. Unless he was ignoring her. Continuing past the first two animals, she again called his name.
This time he appeared from Duke’s stall. “What are you doing here?”
She moved toward him as fast as she could, though it felt like a snail’s pace.
Stopping in front of him, she again noticed the deep lines etched in his brow. His drawn lips. And the unmistakable sorrow in his eyes.
“I wanted to apologize for being so tough on you back there.”
Hands on his denim-clad hips, he watched her for a moment before looking away. “I’m a cowboy, not a china doll. I know what tough is, and trust me, you weren’t tough.”
“Then why would you give up your dream?”
He looked everywhere but at her then, not saying a word.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she finally said. “But I wish you would.”
Still nothing. Not so much as a grunt. He just stood there, engrossed in the rafters, walls, horses, floor...
“Okay. I’ve made my apologies. I’ll leave you alone.” She turned and started back up the aisle, disappointment weaving its way around her heart. God, whatever’s bothering Noah, please help him.
“One of the cowboys I mentored—”
She turned at the sound of his voice. Moved toward him.
“Cody Chandler was his name.”
“Was?”
He gave a slight nod. “He was killed in the arena Friday night.”
Her body sagged with grief. For Cody, for Noah. “I’m so sorry.”
“I haven’t told anyone because I’m...conflicted.”
“About?”
He stared at the overhead lights. “I taught Cody everything I know. Yet I’m still here and he’s...”
Reaching for him, she squeezed his forearm.
He laid his free hand over hers as though welcoming the touch. “How can I teach others, knowing that they could end up like Cody?”
She chose her
words carefully, knowing that nothing she could say would suddenly make things better. “You said Cody was killed in the arena. What does that mean, exactly?”
“Bull riding.” He patted her hand before lowering his own. “He was thrown but didn’t get out of the way in time.”
Her insides cringed at the image that formed in her mind. He didn’t need to tell her any more.
She cleared her throat. “I may have misunderstood, but I was under the impression that the rodeo school was more about horses and roping than bull riding.”
“It is. But students will expect to be exposed to some bull riding.”
“Can you use one of those mechanical bulls? You know, like in Urban Cowboy.”
Not only did the corners of his mouth tilt upward then, he actually grunted out a laugh. “Urban Cowboy? Seriously?”
“What? I figured that’s how you guys trained.”
“It is. But that’s kind of an insult. I mean—” he stepped back, held his arms out “—do I look like John Travolta to you?”
She lifted a brow and pretended to study him. “Well, you do have dark hair.”
“If it wasn’t for that bum foot of yours, you just might find yourself on top of a horse right now.”
Suddenly grateful for her klutziness, she dipped her head. “When I first asked you about the rodeo school, why you wanted to do it, you said that rodeo was your passion. That it had helped you and you hoped to use it as a means to help others dealing with grief. Has Cody’s death changed all of that?”
He thought for a long moment. “No. I just don’t want to encourage people to go out there, thinking it’s all fun and games.”
“First of all, that’s not your MO.” She leaned on her crutches. “I’ve seen the safety measures you take around here. How serious you are about training. But rodeo is a sport. And just like any other sport—football, baseball—there are risks. You know that. I’m sure Cody knew that.”
A long moment ticked by before he said, “How’d you get so smart?”
“I’m simply reminding you of things you already know. The rest is up to you.”
His nod said he understood. “How did you manage to make it down here, anyway? Past all these horses.” He gestured up the aisle.
Her Colorado Cowboy Page 8