Mike

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Mike Page 15

by P. G. Wodehouse


  CHAPTER XIV

  A SLIGHT IMBROGLIO

  Mike got his third eleven colours after the M.C.C. match. As he hadmade twenty-three not out in a crisis in a first eleven match, thismay not seem an excessive reward. But it was all that he expected. Onehad to take the rungs of the ladder singly at Wrykyn. First one wasgiven one's third eleven cap. That meant, "You are a promising man,and we have our eye on you." Then came the second colours. They mightmean anything from "Well, here you are. You won't get any higher, soyou may as well have the thing now," to "This is just to show that westill have our eye on you."

  Mike was a certainty now for the second. But it needed more than oneperformance to secure the first cap.

  "I told you so," said Wyatt, naturally, to Burgess after the match.

  "He's not bad," said Burgess. "I'll give him another shot."

  But Burgess, as has been pointed out, was not a person who ever becamegushing with enthusiasm.

  * * * * *

  So Wilkins, of the School House, who had played twice for the firsteleven, dropped down into the second, as many a good man had donebefore him, and Mike got his place in the next match, against theGentlemen of the County. Unfortunately for him, the visiting team,however gentlemanly, were not brilliant cricketers, at any rate as faras bowling was concerned. The school won the toss, went in first, andmade three hundred and sixteen for five wickets, Morris making anotherplacid century. The innings was declared closed before Mike had achance of distinguishing himself. In an innings which lasted forone over he made two runs, not out; and had to console himself forthe cutting short of his performance by the fact that his averagefor the school was still infinity. Bob, who was one of those luckyenough to have an unabridged innings, did better in this match, makingtwenty-five. But with Morris making a hundred and seventeen, andBerridge, Ellerby, and Marsh all passing the half-century, this scoredid not show up excessively.

  We now come to what was practically a turning-point in Mike's careerat Wrykyn. There is no doubt that his meteor-like flights at crickethad an unsettling effect on him. He was enjoying life amazingly, and,as is not uncommon with the prosperous, he waxed fat and kicked.Fortunately for him--though he did not look upon it in that light atthe time--he kicked the one person it was most imprudent to kick. Theperson he selected was Firby-Smith. With anybody else the thing mighthave blown over, to the detriment of Mike's character; but Firby-Smith,having the most tender affection for his dignity, made a fuss.

  It happened in this way. The immediate cause of the disturbance was aremark of Mike's, but the indirect cause was the unbearablypatronising manner which the head of Wain's chose to adopt towardshim. The fact that he was playing for the school seemed to make nodifference at all. Firby-Smith continued to address Mike merely as thesmall boy.

  The following, _verbatim_, was the tactful speech which headdressed to him on the evening of the M.C.C. match, having summonedhim to his study for the purpose.

  "Well," he said, "you played a very decent innings this afternoon, andI suppose you're frightfully pleased with yourself, eh? Well, mind youdon't go getting swelled head. See? That's all. Run along."

  Mike departed, bursting with fury.

  The next link in the chain was forged a week after the Gentlemen ofthe County match. House matches had begun, and Wain's were playingAppleby's. Appleby's made a hundred and fifty odd, shaping badly forthe most part against Wyatt's slows. Then Wain's opened their innings.The Gazeka, as head of the house, was captain of the side, and he andWyatt went in first. Wyatt made a few mighty hits, and was then caughtat cover. Mike went in first wicket.

  For some ten minutes all was peace. Firby-Smith scratched away at hisend, getting here and there a single and now and then a two, and Mikesettled down at once to play what he felt was going to be the inningsof a lifetime. Appleby's bowling was on the feeble side, with Raikes,of the third eleven, as the star, supported by some small change. Mikepounded it vigorously. To one who had been brought up on Saunders,Raikes possessed few subtleties. He had made seventeen, and wasthoroughly set, when the Gazeka, who had the bowling, hit one in thedirection of cover-point. With a certain type of batsman a single is athing to take big risks for. And the Gazeka badly wanted that single.

  "Come on," he shouted, prancing down the pitch.

  Mike, who had remained in his crease with the idea that nobody evenmoderately sane would attempt a run for a hit like that, moved forwardin a startled and irresolute manner. Firby-Smith arrived, shouting"Run!" and, cover having thrown the ball in, the wicket-keeper removedthe bails.

  These are solemn moments.

  The only possible way of smoothing over an episode of this kind is forthe guilty man to grovel.

  Firby-Smith did not grovel.

  "Easy run there, you know," he said reprovingly.

  The world swam before Mike's eyes. Through the red mist he could seeFirby-Smith's face. The sun glinted on his rather prominent teeth. ToMike's distorted vision it seemed that the criminal was amused.

  "Don't _laugh_, you grinning ape!" he cried. "It isn't funny."

  "DON'T _LAUGH_, YOU GRINNING APE"]

  He then made for the trees where the rest of the team were sitting.

  Now Firby-Smith not only possessed rather prominent teeth; he was alsosensitive on the subject. Mike's shaft sank in deeply. The fact thatemotion caused him to swipe at a straight half-volley, miss it, and bebowled next ball made the wound rankle.

  He avoided Mike on his return to the trees. And Mike, feeling now alittle apprehensive, avoided him.

  The Gazeka brooded apart for the rest of the afternoon, chewing theinsult. At close of play he sought Burgess.

  Burgess, besides being captain of the eleven, was also head of theschool. He was the man who arranged prefects' meetings. And only aprefects' meeting, thought Firby-Smith, could adequately avenge hislacerated dignity.

  "I want to speak to you, Burgess," he said.

  "What's up?" said Burgess.

  "You know young Jackson in our house."

  "What about him?"

  "He's been frightfully insolent."

  "Cheeked you?" said Burgess, a man of simple speech.

  "I want you to call a prefects' meeting, and lick him."

  Burgess looked incredulous.

  "Rather a large order, a prefects' meeting," he said. "It has to be apretty serious sort of thing for that."

  "Frightful cheek to a school prefect is a serious thing," saidFirby-Smith, with the air of one uttering an epigram.

  "Well, I suppose--What did he say to you?"

  Firby-Smith related the painful details.

  Burgess started to laugh, but turned the laugh into a cough.

  "Yes," he said meditatively. "Rather thick. Still, I mean--A prefects'meeting. Rather like crushing a thingummy with a what-d'you-call-it.Besides, he's a decent kid."

  "He's frightfully conceited."

  "Oh, well--Well, anyhow, look here, I'll think it over, and let youknow to-morrow. It's not the sort of thing to rush through withoutthinking about it."

  And the matter was left temporarily at that.

 

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