by Emily Woods
He caught her implication, but let it slide. The topic of desperate women wasn’t one that he wanted to discuss with her, or anyone really.
When they'd made another full circle around the wagons, he stopped to see if she was ready to turn in for the night. To his surprise, she sat down on a nearby boulder and looked at him curiously.
“What's stopping you from telling your brothers that you don't want to go to California? And don't say guilt about your parents. They're no longer alive and, according to my father, can't see us from the other side.”
Gabriel bit his lip while trying to decide if he could confess his worries to a girl he’d just met. Well, he’d told her more than anyone else, so why not?
“I guess I just don't want to be alone. I think it's what I'm most afraid of.”
The air was still while she seemed to contemplate his words.
“That makes a lot of sense. I suppose I could have rebelled against my parents and run away when we were in Kansas, but I didn't think I was too afraid. I didn’t think I could make it on my own. It's not quite the same thing, but almost.”
Her confession made him feel a little better about laying bare his own insecurities.
“Sure, but there's the whole, 'honor your mother and father' thing too.”
She gave him a slight look of surprise, to which he responded with a laugh. “Oh, I was raised on the Bible, Miss Hope. My father might not have been a preacher, but he could have been, and my mother too. They both knew the Good Book backwards and forwards.”
“And you?”
His brow crinkled a little. “Well, I know it, but I don't always see how things apply to me. I guess I just need to read it more.”
“I'm sure that's what my father would say,” she replied, her voice soft and faraway. “I suppose I'd better turn in now before anyone notices I'm missing. Thank you for the talk, Gabriel. I enjoyed it.”
He liked the way his name sounded coming out of her mouth. “My pleasure, Miss Hope. Sleep well.”
She nodded, a smile gently playing around her lips before she turned and made her way back to the tent where her brothers were sleeping. He didn't mean to watch her as she walked away, but his eyes did so without his knowing.
And his heart skipped a beat.
Hope tried to fall asleep after creeping in beside her snoring brothers, but she was a light sleeper at the best of times, and these days, she couldn't seem to get more than about five hours a night. She figured it was about ten o'clock now, so she thought perhaps she would be able to get her average.
Gabriel's face lingered in her mind, but she tried not to think about how handsome he was. Her father would never let her associate with him in anyway, given his future goals. He thought the only acceptable man for her would be someone who was either a preacher or wanted to be one. Well, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but she knew that there was no way he would let her get near Gabriel. In his mind, a gold prospector was on par with a saloon owner or the like.
Sighing, she felt her mind and body relax. It had been so nice to talk freely to Gabriel...nice and exciting. She'd never felt so free, being able to converse without a chaperone of any kind. It was her first taste of being an adult, and she liked it a lot.
As she finally drifted off, Hope knew that she would do her best to work out the sentinel schedule so that she could repeat the experience. And for the first time in over a two months, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.
3
It was raining for a good part of the next day, which was a refreshing change, so Hope didn't know why the captain looked so worried. When he rode by their wagon, her father inquired about their route for the day.
The response was so low that Hope couldn't catch all of it, but she did hear the words “ford the river.” Her heart sped up more because of the tone that Captain Holt used more than his actual words. They'd been made aware that they would have to cross rivers on the journey, and that they would get wet in the process, but there was an element of worry in their leader's voice.
“Where's your assistant today, Captain?” her mother asked cheerfully. The captain usually had Emma Pearson's youngest son with him. It was clear that he'd taken a shine to the boy's mother, and there had been a lot of speculation about the two until finally they'd made their relationship known. Hope and her mother knew first since they'd become close with Emma and her family.
“He's feeling a little poorly, so he's riding in the back of the wagon.”
Her mother's face crinkled with concern. “Nothing serious, I hope?”
The corner of the captain's mouth tugged up slightly. “Nah, I don't think so. He was taking my advice about eating pickles a little too far. Just a stomachache.”
Hope had thought the captain's insistence on bringing a barrel of pickles was strange, but her father had followed the man's instructions to the letter. He'd chosen Captain Holt because of his sterling reputation for safe travels, prudence, and success rate. The man had lost the fewest number of travelers in the course of his career as wagon master.
So lost was she in her thoughts that Hope didn't notice Joseph sidle up to her.
“Did you hear about the river?” he whispered sharply. “It's going to be dangerous, but if you stay close, I'll make sure you get across safely.”
There was no one reason why Hope didn't trust the man, but her spine prickled whenever he was near. Perhaps he was just lovesick, but it felt like something more to her.
“Um, I'll be fine, thank you. If there's a problem, I'm sure my father or Captain Holt will tell us what to do.”
She was sure that he must have heard her, but his face didn't change. His chin rose a notch and she thought he must believe it was his personal duty to look out for her. Even though no agreement had been mentioned at any time, she thought he believed that in working with her father, he would be entitled to court and eventually marry her, should he desire. Hope would do anything in her power to prevent that from happening. There was no way on earth that she would be the wife of Joseph Brown, no matter what her parents wanted.
The rain let up a little and they stopped for lunch, taking shelter in a large rock overhang area close to the South Platte River. Hope knew they were going to have to cross the river further along, and that for some reason, it was not as safe as the captain would like.
Fetching water from one of the smaller rivers that fed into the Platte was one of Hope's many jobs. The Platte River itself was rather brackish and too contaminated to drink from directly because so many people had already traveled along the trail, leaving their garbage which polluted the river. The captain was very clear about how important it was not to get any of their water from there, no matter how tempting it might be.
The heavy rain had lightened and was now a mere drizzle. Hope didn't mind. It was better than the scorching heat which burned her nose and blistered her skin.
“Let me help you with that,” came a male voice from her right.
Hope was just about to scold Joseph for neglecting his own work when she realized the owner of the voice was not Joseph, but Gabriel.
“No thank you,” she replied softly. “This is my job.”
He looked at her curiously. “Not allowed to be seen with me in the daytime?” he asked, keeping his distance. She wasn't sure if he was teasing or actually hurt, but she quickly glanced over her shoulder to see where her parents were. Her father was talking to the captain and her mother was bending over something, probably the food she was preparing.
“My father would have something to say about our talking together,” she attempted to explain. “He's very protective.”
Gabriel squatted down next to the river and scooped some water into his mouth before replying. “Good thing he wasn't about last night then, wasn't it?”
Blushing, Hope nodded a little and dipped one of the buckets into the river. “I'm sorry for bothering you,” she murmured. “I won't do it again.”
The words hurt to say because all morning
, the only thing she'd been able to think about, the only thing that motivated her into pushing forward, was the thought of seeing Gabriel again.
“Well, I hope you don't mean that. I'd be mighty hurt if that's how you felt.”
First glancing in her parents' direction, Hope answered, “I'm not sure. I don't want you to think that I'm...that kind of girl.”
Gabriel gave her a kind smile. “I know exactly what kind of girl you are, Hope, and I respect you entirely. What's more, our talk yesterday has been the highlight of my trip so far.”
The buckets were full, and if she tarried, Hope knew her mother would get suspicious.
“When will you be on guard again?” she asked boldly, keeping her head low. She couldn't see his face, but she could practically feel his surprise.
“Three nights from tonight,” he replied quickly. “First shift again.”
She nodded a little and then walked back to where her mother was cutting up bread from this morning's baking.
“What were you talking to that man about?” her father demanded as she drew near.
Hope set the buckets down first and took a calming breath before answering as truthfully as she could, “He asked me if I wanted help with the buckets.”
“And what did you say?” he asked, his voice much harsher than she thought was necessary.
“I declined his offer and told him that it was my job,” she answered honestly.
“And that's all?” His eyes were hard, unreasonably so. Hope had never given him a reason to be so suspicious of her, and frustration boiled up in her veins. Lying to him now seemed justifiable, given his blatant mistrust.
“Yes, Father,” she said, her eyes wide and trusting.
He didn't seem too happy about the interaction, but she thought it would be best to get to work, so Hope hurried over to her mother's side to help with lunch preparations. She heard her father grumbling about how he didn't trust the Morris men, but she ignored it.
“Try not to aggravate your father, Hope,” her mother murmured. “He has a lot on his mind,”
“We all do,” she countered. At her mother's sharp look, she decided to change the subject. “Is the river crossing going to be dangerous?”
Grace frowned a little. “I'm sure the men will work it out for the best. We just need to be concerned about obeying for our own safety.”
Hope thought that her mother's answer might have had a double meaning, but she pretended not to understand.
“Yes, Mother,” she said dutifully and then got up to hand out the sandwiches for lunch, bacon again.
Her brothers had been running around, playing some sort of game with the Pearson boys. Hope was glad to see Robbie was apparently feeling better.
“Aren't you exhausted from walking all morning?” she asked as she gave them their lunch. “I can't understand where you get your energy from.”
Indeed, all she wanted to do was sit for hours and hours, but she wouldn't be able to until after dinner.
“Nope!” came the jubilant reply from Martin, the brother who was closest to her in age. At fifteen, he still acted like a child, but she didn't scold him. “Running is different than walking.” He jumped in a puddle, splashing Willy, who screeched and then did the same.
Shaking her head, she returned to her parents, but not before seeing Gabriel watching her. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head before dipping her chin down to her chest and resuming the posture of a humble, obedient child.
He couldn't look at her like that or she'd really be in trouble. Hopefully, the warning glance would be enough.
Crossing the river hadn’t been that hard after all. The captain had found a shallow place and the worst that happened was her dress got wet. It wasn’t anything that hadn’t happened before. However, she saw that he was still worried and overheard him talking about another crossing that they’d have to make soon.
She didn’t give it much thought after that, and three nights later, Hope waited for her brothers to fall asleep. She knew her parents were already tucked under the wagon because she'd seen them settle down for the night.
Knowing that she could always make the excuse that she needed to relieve herself, Hope had no fear in leaving the tent. Of course, she didn't want any noisy neighbors to observe her movements just in case they reported her to her parents, but most people turned in at eight o'clock or eight-thirty at the latest. It was now nearly nine, and although darkness had not yet fallen completely, she felt reasonably sure she could slip through the camp unnoticed.
“How are you this evening?” she asked quietly as she approached Gabriel. The waning light allowed her to see how his face lit up upon seeing her. A thrill raced through her. It hadn't been her imagination. He was interested in her.
“I'm a whole lot better now,” he replied, a grin on his face. “You're taking a bit of a risk, aren't you?” But instead of being worried about the risk, he seemed inordinately pleased to see her.
Although she was equally pleased, she just shrugged a little and kept her voice even. “Not too much. It's not unusual for a girl to take a walk if she deems it, uh, necessary.” She didn’t want him to think that he had any power over her.
Talking about body functions wasn’t the kind of conversation she wanted to pursue, so she left it at that and moved on to chatting about the day. They walked around the wagons as they had last time, laughing and joking about some of the funny things that had happened. She was amazed at how comfortable she felt with him, given that they’d only talked one time before. He was funny, charming, and interesting. And more than that, she felt strangely light around him, light and free. Was this what it was like to fall in love?
But then she quickly chastised herself. How could a person fall in love so quickly? She barely knew the man.
It was getting late, but Hope knew she needed to find out something before she risked forming an attachment to Gabriel.
“Can I ask you a question?”
He nodded, leaning back against a sturdy tree, his rifle secure against his chest. Hope bit her bottom lip. Did he know how attractive he was, and how much the position of guard added to that?
“What do you want most out of life besides your farm?”
It was a big question, but she knew their time together was fleeting, and that they would have to push past formalities and niceties. Those kinds of shallow and polite questions were for another time, somewhere in the past when people had months and years to get to know one another. Now, as her family was headed towards parts unknown and a life unknown, she needed to determine if Gabriel was just a distraction or had the potential to be part her future.
He sighed before answering.
“You know, it's not something I've thought about a lot because my brothers always seem to be making decisions for me, but I guess I'd say that I want a family. I don't really care about wealth the way they do. All it would take to make me happy is a comfortable home, a few children, a dog, and working with the land or animals.”
His answer satisfied her in many ways, but she couldn't quite figure out what it would mean for the two of them.
“That's all I want too. I don't know if my life has a...higher purpose or not, not like my father's, but I know that I'd be content in a home with a good husband and children.”
It was true. Even though she hadn't done much hard work before this trip, she'd come to appreciate how the work of her hand turned out food, even if it came at the cost of losing her soft, lily white hands. She wasn’t pleased that her hands had become unattractive in the process, but she could see it was a trade-off, one that she had to come to terms with in this new life.
“I hope you get that,” he murmured. “And I hope I do too, someday. Hey, maybe after my brothers and I strike it rich, I'll meet somebody down in California, get married, and bring her up to visit you and your husband in Oregon. Wouldn't that be fun?”
Hope felt her face grow hot. Could he really be that dense? Didn't he know that she was leading up to talking
about the two of them running away together, leaving her family and his brothers behind?
“Yes,” she managed to choke out. “Fun. Well, good night.”
Turning away before he could ask if anything was wrong, Hope fled to the safety of the tent, her plans for the future in ruins.
Gabriel stared at Hope's retreating back. That didn’t go as planned. He’d hoped to evoke some kind of reaction from her that would show him if she cared about him. Or maybe he was just trying to protect himself.
He didn't dare to believe that the cultured and refined Hope Riley had any feelings for him. Of course he'd managed to develop a crush on her, but what man wouldn’t feel that way about such a woman? The fact that she was only eighteen prevented him from dwelling on those feelings, that and the presence of Joseph Brown, a man that her father clearly meant for her to marry.
As he went over their conversation in his mind, he wondered if he'd misread her feelings. He thought that she was just enjoying a diversion, a flirtation even, but he hadn't dared to believe it would lead to anything more. He’d intended his last comment to show that he understood that and wasn’t expecting anything more.
However, now that he thought about it, he realized that her words and actions were exactly those of a woman who was interested in a man beyond the here and now. He swallowed hard at the thought and at his careless words. How could he have known? Never in his wildest dreams would he have believed a woman like that would entertain the notion of a future with a man like him, someone who didn't even know where he'd be in six months’ time.
But the more he let himself think about it, the more convinced he became.
Hope was interested in a future with him.
4
The next day seemed to crawl by in Gabriel's opinion. He didn't have a chance to interact with Hope like before, but it seemed to him that she orchestrated it that way. She was never alone, not even to fetch water. She seemed to be throwing herself into her work and didn't leave her mother's side.